Anyone here have a story to tell about the father whom they truly hate? Or the father that destroyed their life? I have plenty, but don't have the time or the desire to bring up stories of the devil.

Sorry. I suppose I was fortunate; my dad was a champ.

Nope,

but he did make me vaccum this morning.

If you can't trust your family, what else is there?

There is a whole world out there...

If life gives you Lemon, make Lemonade...

Start with "Forgiveness"...your spirit will be free...

Please don't question me, you don't understand. Thanks anyway though.

Hear my story than you'll have a clue...maybe. I won't type it unless u wanna hear it.

csreech
If you want to put it out on the table,I'll listen. But that's strictly up to you. I hope it not as bad as you think it is and if it is I'm truly sorry.

I appreciate your concern it seems like your the only one, thanks. I'm writing this in a studyhall at school so I'm typing like crazy to beat the bell. Here it goes...


I'm 18 years old and live in the country area of Ohio and am starting my senior year at West Geauga High School. After the first day of school on Monday the 27th of Aug. I get home like I usually do and no ones home cuz my parents are at work. I sit down at the kitchen tabel and do some light homework. The doorbell rings and its a police detective guy. I was kinda surprised and thought it was one of my friends or something. He says "There's been a tradgedy" My heart sank and got that feeling like I was going to cry but I couldn't. Than he says, your mom, she was raped and beaten to death by your father, he killed himself moments afterwards (not in those words). At this point I'm in an uncontrolable emotion breakdown and speechless and I slam the door in the detectives face but there are still matters to discuss. He asks if I have a place to go and he will try to help in any way if possible. I'm living with my Grandma. Everyone has been very helpful through these hardtimes so far. The funerals are on Sunday. This is extremely difficult to discuss so I don't want to give much detail and thats all I want to say.

I have had thoughts of killing myself to be with my mother but I realized that I would go to hell for doing so and would never see her again.

csreech I am so sorry!
Let me start by telling you that I lost my girlfriend of eight years just a few months back. I can't tell you I understand what your going through everyone is different and the situation is different. What I can tell you is I do know the pain that come with losing someone close to you. I tried to imagine what your going through but I just can't. In my own experience I started to have panic attacks, uncontrollable fits of crying and believe it or not television crushed me on a daily basis. Sounds strange but I noticed that in just about every show I watched some one would die and it felt like someone hit me with a 2 by 4. I though of ending it just about every day. But that's not an answer because adding to a tragedy will hurt every one else left behind. So don't do it no matter how desperate you feel. Give it time, it does help. Just don't rush it time is a strange bedfellow, it will not pushed for anybody. Please feel free to ask me any question at all, like I said this is different from my experience. But I'll do my best to help. Keep your chin up.
Time heals all wounds, but some will always remain sensitive to the touch.
Be well my friend.

Thank you for the much needed support. I'm sure you know how it feels to know that somebody cares. I did read one of your other posts as well about your 8 year relationship I'm sorry to hear that. You are in my thoughts and I wish the best for you. Thank you for listening and take care.

Hey csreech,

I'm really sorry about your loss. I can't relate to you in such a tragedy but I can tell you that the worst thing to do is keep it inside. It would tear you apart. You should try seeking some counselling or something. It doesnt matter how much time passes, you have to talk about it and get all of your emotions out. Anyone you feel comfortable with. I think I speak for all of us when I say we will listen. Dont let it ruin your life.

Quote: "I have plenty, but don't have the time or the desire to bring up stories of the devil."

Are we related?

I just found out that my religion compliments my beliefs in no devil. So I say 'what devil'. I'm just being considerate. Heaven forbid people would treat you the same way you treat them if something like than where ever to happen to you (G-d forbid) --superstitious thing.

Thats really sad man. Especially losing your mother like that. But please don't kill yourself. I would recommend seeing a councillor as well. I hope you get all the support you need. It probably all feels hopeless now. I lost my dog last year. And our dog before him the year before. It all feels hopeless, but knowing that people care does help a lot. Though it won't bring anyone back, it helps to get on with your life, though you will still never forget the tragedy. No one expects you to forget.

Just hang in there mate.

Nothing said can make it right. And now the future is on your shoulders. Choose wisely.

csreech,
If I can arrange my thoughts to be coherent, I would like to talk to you. Right now things are too fresh in your mind and the mental shock is tough to deal with. I would give you the same advice that is given in drug rehab's as it seems to really apply in your case. One day at a time, my friend. See today through to its completion. Do not worry about tomarrow till it arrives. Buy time this way. You need it.

There is nothing that will make it go away. I hope you see this as a truth. What you do is accumulate enough days until the edge starts to blunt. Then look for a tomarrow. One with sunshine in it. Be with people if you can. It is easier in times of greif to share than to try to tote the load yourself. There will be those times when you are alone that things seem impossible. Trust me, they are not. It just seems that way. Those impossible days will slowly leave until they are one of those things you see once in a while. When you arrive here then things will be better.

I am sorry for your loss. Should you feel the need you may certainly PM me if you do not want to put it on the board. I would reccomend that you do post it to the board as there is a lot of support out here for you. But it is your feelings and you know what is right for you. Tomarrow is another day, and it is better than today. Go see.

I feel sorry for you, what you must be going through is something you'd think, only happens in the movies.
just take it easy ...

(Just thought I'd add my two cents)

There are different kind of fathers. You had a false one...
It is sure nothing to kill yourself for.
Only to be with your mother again???
It won't work.
She is probably at a total other level then you are coming in when you kill yourself. If you do so, what have you gained??
Then your nasty father wins.....Don't you ever let him win.
Try to pick up your life please, how hard it may be.
It's a hard job to go on after all this violence and loneliness.......
But you can beat this......Go for it, don't let it get to you first please!!!!
;)

Originally posted by Elbaz
I just found out that my religion compliments my beliefs in no devil. So I say 'what devil'. I'm just being considerate. Heaven forbid people would treat you the same way you treat them if something like than where ever to happen to you (G-d forbid) --superstitious thing.

Screech wrote:

"Anyone here have a story to tell about the father whom they truly hate? Or the father that destroyed their life? I have plenty, but don't have the time or the desire to bring up stories of the devil."

I was refering to his statement!!. This thing here doesn't always post directly under the one you are trying to communicate with!. or perhaps it's just a mistake of mine, whichever it was I was not refering to you!. Ok

Appoligies for misunderstanding.

I appreciate everyones support it is helping. And just so no one worries, i am not going to kill myself that would be foolish. My father would win that way and i don't want that. Thank you everyone and God Bless.

My fault Godless, I was the one who misunderstood, not you.

I realize that words are of little value to you at a time like this, but it's all I can offer. First, I am so sorry for your tragic loss. You have ended up the real victim, because you're the one left to pick up the pieces and contemplate the meaning behind such a meaningless act.

Don't spend too much time trying to understand the "why" behind all this. It doesn't matter why. It happened and now it's over. No blame, no explanation. You could make yourself crazy trying to understand the reasons it happened.

You've been thrust onto the stage of adulthood now. But you'll be fine. Trust in yourself and move on. This, in the end, will only prove to make you a stronger person.

Please let us all know how you're going from time to time. I sent you a PM and I can see that everyone is worried about how you are going. I think I speak for all of us when I say we all feel for you. I saw you wrote a message to say thanks, but just to keep us from worrying about you, please keep in touch. If you have any questions there are plenty of wonderful people in this forum that will try to help.
Take care,
Teri

I do agree with Teri on this, keep in touch....
Most of the times it helps knowing there are people somewhere who care about you....
:)
So you keep in touch, with or without questions or otherwise...
Everything is ok.......
Talk to you later;)

Hi people, I just wanted to let everyone know that I am seeing a counselor and getting treatment to help cope. I seem to be doing a little better but this is something that will take a long time to get over If I get over it at all. The counselor is really helpful and really seems to care. Once again I thank you all for your support. God Bless.

Understand, there are people that lost their Father, Mother, Brother, Sister, Son or Daughter - over 6000 wonderful people. We mere mortals can not fathom God's mind.

He has his reason. Someday hopefully it will be revealed to us. Until then keep the faith. Be good, do good.

Hi csreech,

I was really glad to hear that you are now seeing a cousellor. That's the first step in the right direction. No doubt the counsellor does care, as I think it's pretty much a calling rather than an occupation. I was wondering whether you have other family? Brothers or sisters?

I noticed your quote reads "If you can't trust your family, what else is there?" I'd like to say something about that. I've thought that very same thing from time to time with my own family.

Nothing as heartbreaking as you have been through, but there have been times in my life where I have questioned the adage that family is supposed to give you unconditional love. I found that that was just another life lesson, nice to believe in, but not always true.

Like most people I have placed my trust and love in people who I thought were my very best friends and have been disappointed.

However now and then I did find a pearl of a friend, and so will you.

I was once told by a teacher that you should be able to count the number of true friends you have on the fingers one one hand. I have discovered that to be very true.

The only person you will ever completely know is yourself. TRUST IN YOUR OWN GOOD HEART.

Good luck with the counselling , stay in touch, and take care.

TERI

Teri, Thank you for your support it is very appreciated. To answer your question though, I have a brother (23) who I haven't seen or heard form in about 4 years. He runs away from his problems he is very "thick headed". I'm sure he was notified of these past events and i'm sure he is hurting as well. I have not recieved a phone call or anything from him. He didn't bother showing up at their funeral either. It is very typical of him, he is afraid to show his feelings, he's been like that since i can remember. As for my friends, they have been like family to me and been there all the way. you were right, I can only count my good friends on 1 hand, unfortunally it sometimes takes a tragic experience to know who your real friends are. Anyways, thank you again!

Chris aka csreech

I would say be patient with your brother. It will be hard to do so. There will come the time in his life when he figures out what is important. When it arrives he will contact you. Prehaps it will be a feeling out to see if he is still welcome. Always give him welcome and one day he will return to you as his family, God willing. My heart is with you. Just take it a day at a time. It will look better and better.

My old man got my mum pregnant then went and married some one else, after throwing my mum down the stairs, then after ten years he came back and married her, that started the end of my life, he tried to teach me to fight, at the age of ten, he told me if i came home with a black eye then he would blacken the other one, he would go out on friday nights come home drunk and guess who was the punch bag,same on a saturday.but this time i was always in bed, he tried to find anything to hit me for,this went on till i was eighteen,by this time i had been taught,martial art, by a master wan, and he did not pick on me again,he has never told me he loves me and he has never said he was proud of me, beat that for a role model. he speaks to me a little now but only if we meet in the street he has nothing to do with my children,but he always sees my sisters kids, not much of a father or grand father is he.

The fact that you recognise that your father was not a 'role model' comes across loud and clear.

The important thing is that you can see his mistakes - the word 'mistakes' is pretty ordinary, but only you know his true character and can make the judgment - and I hope your kids will never experience the same things. You can't pick your relatives.

Sadly, some kids grow up and act exactly the same as their fathers before them. I often wonder how that can happen when they know first hand what it feels like.

If you've broken the cycle of abuse, then I hope you have a long, loving and happy life.

Cheers.
Teri

Yes i have broke the cycle my children live in happyness and a very loving family life, i try to givr them what they want,but imy wify and i dont spoil them, they know the value of things and life, and i would never grow up to be my father,