Crying can be such a powerful release mechanism. I was lying in my bed yesterday at 3:15am trying to fall asleep, with some nasty thoughts running through my head and a very powerful urge to cry. It was an active mental urge, not an involuntary one, so obviously I did not shed a single tear. That made me even more agitated and I had to get out of bed and take a few gulps of wine to get to the condition where I could at least attempt sleep.

Women are so lucky for being wired in a way that allows them this wonderful relief mechanism.

I am jealous and frustrated.

men can cry just as easily. my ex gf had little capability in this respect. one way to cry is by listening to some old music and think about sad things.

i cry every once in a while, usually over some slobbery moment on television.
yes virginia, you have a soft spot. :)

Crying feels good. I like to do it every once in awhile.

I used to be kind of emotionally cold in that I didn't cry much. Then, there was a turning point about decade ago, and I suddenly found myself crying much more often and easier.

I saw Schindler's List several weeks ago. That made me cry alot. Sometimes it's almost frustrating when I can't help tearing up. Maybe borderline embarrassing?

Sometimes the music of Bach makes my eyes watery. I don't know if I would classify it as crying. Don't know why Bach has such an effect on me. He was just that good? :shrug:

Crying feels good. I like to do it every once in awhile.

I used to be kind of emotionally cold in that I didn't cry much. Then, there was a turning point about decade ago, and I suddenly found myself crying much more often and easier.

I saw Schindler's List several weeks ago. That made me cry alot. Sometimes it's almost frustrating when I can't help tearing up. Maybe borderline embarrassing?

Sometimes the music of Bach makes my eyes watery. I don't know if I would classify it as crying. Don't know why Bach has such an effect on me. He was just that good? :shrug:

The last time I cried was also while watching S.L.. That was maybe 2 years ago. The only other thing that brings me close to tears is beautiful music, like you said - but that's a different kind of crying, isn't it? It's happy crying (ALMOST crying, actually).

Crying can be such a powerful release mechanism. I was lying in my bed yesterday at 3:15am trying to fall asleep, with some nasty thoughts running through my head and a very powerful urge to cry. It was an active mental urge, not an involuntary one, so obviously I did not shed a single tear. That made me even more agitated and I had to get out of bed and take a few gulps of wine to get to the condition where I could at least attempt sleep.

Women are so lucky for being wired in a way that allows them this wonderful relief mechanism.

I am jealous and frustrated.

You just made me cry.. not really.

Just express your emotions in another way.

I've often thought it was a great loss to men that they aren't able to cry as freely (whether that be due to physical make-up or societal norms) as women, in general. I think women have a capacity to express emotions men can't. I wonder if all that pent up emotion can manifest in other ways. Not only as anger but as a physical manifestation too. I know some people (men and women) are reading this thread thinking "Gheyyyyy" because that's a typical overly masculine response to men and emotion.

My grandma died two years ago and I cried as I stood beside her taking her last dying breaths. My granddad stood next to me and, although he was clearly upset, shed not a single tear and never has. I know it may sound quite strange but I felt a beauty in that grief I know he couldn't and never can experience.

Of course it can work to our disadvantage too. I sometimes cry at really inappropriate moments and often cannot stop myself. When really what I feel would be best at that time is to show a bit of emotional control. Like when I'm talking to a stranger about how my mum died. I want to present that facts but the emotional side of me just kicks in and I get frustrated with myself. I'm not a big fan of crying too much, my sister does it and I think she's probably a bit neurotic (not a medical diagnosis Hercules).

So, it balances out really. Sometimes men feel an inability to cry and women feel an inability to control it. There are always exceptions and there will be men who cry a lot and women who hardly do. I also think it has to be mentioned that at those times it displays an negative emotional imbalance. However, I think crying when the situation is appropriate shows an emotional capability to deal with a moving situation.

My granddad stood next to me and, although he was clearly upset, shed not a single tear and never has.

You just didn't see him cry because he wouldn't let you. I'll bet when he was away from everyone he did have a good cry but just won't tell anyone.

I know I am very uncomfortable around a man who cries. Somebody better be dead

I am jealous and frustrated.

Apparently not enough to :bawl: !

:p

Apparently not enough to :bawl: !

:p

lol

Apparently so.

I know I am very uncomfortable around a man who cries. Somebody better be dead

Or in allot of pain from an accident of some type! :eek:

Crying is not a weakness unless your having an over the top crying extravaganza over something petty.

We become adults and are told that it's a weakness to cry and sometimes we just need to relearn how to cry. It's not a weakness, it's a release. A communication to ourselves that we are hurting or exceedinly happy and need to get it out. It's hard, but an important things to do. This video makes me cry;

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vr3x_RRJdd4

But it may be things like watching a movie that can make you cry. I still cry at Old Yeller, and Forrest Gump and even City of Angels... but everyone has different triggers. An old friend told me that if it doesn't work, cut onions and go from there. At least you will know you can cry and sometimes that is enough in itself.

I know I am very uncomfortable around a man who cries. Somebody better be dead

I am so sorry that you had a boy. There is absolutely nothing wrong with a man who cries, and there is no reason to teach your child that someone needs to be dead for them to cry. What a horrible thing to do to a child...

Yes, lets teach them all to bottle it up and NOT communicate.

And you wonder why you have communication issues in all your relationships.

Well, at least your son will make a psychologist very rich someday.

I am so sorry that you had a boy. There is absolutely nothing wrong with a man who cries, and there is no reason to teach your child that someone needs to be dead for them to cry. What a horrible thing to do to a child...

Yes, lets teach them all to bottle it up and NOT communicate.

And you wonder why you have communication issues in all your relationships.

Well, at least your son will make a psychologist very rich someday.

"I am so sorry that you had a boy" Brutal.

Men and women are different. My daughter cry's as soon as the sad music starts. We used to mess with her, if we played this one song she would tear up in seconds. So we would put it on an watch the show, she would get mad and beg us to turn it off.

My son fights it with all his might, I didn't teach him this. Sometimes he will come in and go to his room and your like what happened. We go to check on him and he is fighting back tears and his leg is covered in blood from a bad fall.

I don't want my son to be a cry baby, so shoot me for being a bad dad.
I don't want my daughter to be one either. She just tends to show her emotions more. I think that is pretty normal.

I don't have a problem with someone who crys now and then. But I don't think on the whole that women like men who cry all the time. If fact I am sure it would be a major turn off for most.

But no one has to be dead for them to cry, right?

I never said all the time or for anyone to be a "cry baby", but crying is healthy communication. Any psychologist/psychiatrist/social worker will tell you that. People cry because they are in pain and the correct response is to have someone comfort them, not to tell them to "man up.". Stunting people's avenues of communication is one of the reasons so many people are so screwed up in the head and not able to express themselves. There is nothing wrong with hurting, or with seeking comfort from that hurt. Or simply just crying because it gets it all out of your system.

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/1389136/the_importance_of_crying_its_no_party.html?cat=72
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2008/12/081217123831.htm
http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/133552.php
http://www.helium.com/items/339767-possible-health-benefits-of-crying
http://www.sciencedirect.com/science?_ob=ArticleURL&_udi=B6VD4-49WMSTB-2&_user=10&_rdoc=1&_fmt=&_orig=search&_sort=d&view=c&_acct=C000050221&_version=1&_urlVersion=0&_userid=10&md5=1379b4e61cd9101798f556a12ba40474
http://www.cyquest.com/pathway/tool2.html

But no one has to be dead for them to cry, right?

No but if my boy is crying his knee better be bleeding badly. LOL

I think Orly was exaggerating a little but still trying to make the point that boys/men in our society have different rules for crying. To some degree we are both helping them better prepare for the realities of what others expect and at the same time strengthening societies expectations.

I am not saying that is right or wrong, just how it is.

I often think I'd like to cry more easily, but on the rare occasions when I actually cry, I feel so laid open and undignified, it's like self inflicted rape.

I prefer to punch things and curse. :)

"I am so sorry that you had a boy" Brutal. ...

I don't want my son to be a cry baby, so shoot me for being a bad dad.
I don't want my daughter to be one either. She just tends to show her emotions more. I think that is pretty normal.

I don't have a problem with someone who crys now and then. But I don't think on the whole that women like men who cry all the time. If fact I am sure it would be a major turn off for most.

LOL, I have the bitch on ignore so if you hadn't quoted her I could have..well, ignored it. LOL :D

And you and I are on the same path. I have a daughter and a son and whether people want to admit it or not, they are different. And I raise them differently. My son cries but he doesn't do it at school like my daughter does. My husband and I didn't 'train' him to be that way, his friends did.
I can cry at work if I get hurt. If my husband does, his friends will tell him what a pussy he is. Friends are a HUGE influence

But it shouldn't be, and all evidence points to the contrary. It makes them shut up about their depression and they fail to communicate. It's a huge problem for them, and another major cause of ED and other issues.

If men could communicate and be heard, they'd be much better off.

Read the book: 'I Don't Want to Talk About It' and it will change your life.

We shouldn't teach or children to shut up about their emotions and problems. Getting them to talk is hard enough but the pressure to keep it to themselves is causing them to have major problems as adults. We could fix it if we let our children (boys and girls) be more open, honest and communicative about their feelings and emotions. Children who are taught to keep it all to themselves feel ignored and are more likely to get into trouble, lie and act out just to get a reaction from someone. We are an emotional species, and we communicate through a variety of ways... crying being one of them.

There's nothing wrong with crying. If someone's having a problem with constant crying, they probably need understanding, not being humiliated.

I can cry at work if I get hurt. If my husband does, his friends will tell him what a pussy he is. Friends are a HUGE influence

LOFL, yes if I started crying at work I might as well find a new job. It's not that they would think I am a wuss or anything, although they would, it would just be too uncomfortable.

There is a double standard on this. It's fair, because there are plenty that women have as well.

I often think I'd like to cry more easily, but on the rare occasions when I actually cry, I feel so laid open and undignified, it's like self inflicted rape.

I prefer to punch things and curse. :)

You really do need to join a boxing gym and beat on the bag until you feel relief. I think it would make you happy.

It does for me.

There's nothing wrong with crying. If someone's having a problem with constant crying, they probably need understanding, not being humiliated.

If I had a co-worker who cried every time something went wrong, I'd not be understanding. I wouldn't.
have you ever seen a kid that constantly cries. OMG!!! its annoying as hell.

I often think I'd like to cry more easily, but on the rare occasions when I actually cry, I feel so laid open and undignified, it's like self inflicted rape.

I prefer to punch things and curse. :)

For some women crying can be power. I don't know why men fall for it.

"If men could communicate and be heard, they'd be much better off. "

Men don't do this very well. Probably the number one complaint from women about men in relationships.

LOL, I have the bitch on ignore so if you hadn't quoted her I could have..well, ignored it. LOL :D

And you and I are on the same path. I have a daughter and a son and whether people want to admit it or not, they are different. And I raise them differently. My son cries but he doesn't do it at school like my daughter does. My husband and I didn't 'train' him to be that way, his friends did.
I can cry at work if I get hurt. If my husband does, his friends will tell him what a pussy he is. Friends are a HUGE influence

obviously. i have never seen too many peeople crying in oublic and i never seen a man cry in oublic.

when i watch a movie that makes me want to cry and i am with my gf i hold it in.

For some women crying can be power. I don't know why men fall for it.

:argue::bawl::shake::

Repeat as needed.

Crying can be such a powerful release mechanism. I was lying in my bed yesterday at 3:15am trying to fall asleep, with some nasty thoughts running through my head and a very powerful urge to cry. It was an active mental urge, not an involuntary one, so obviously I did not shed a single tear. That made me even more agitated and I had to get out of bed and take a few gulps of wine to get to the condition where I could at least attempt sleep.

Women are so lucky for being wired in a way that allows them this wonderful relief mechanism.

I am jealous and frustrated.
try listening to these next time
yesterday when I was young (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xiLo5q0wqxU&feature=channel_page)

impossible dream (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mn6pyJynA78&feature=channel_page)

greenfields of France (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ntt3wy-L8Ok)

men can cry just as easily. my ex gf had little capability in this respect. one way to cry is by listening to some old music and think about sad things.

Or just watch THE NOTEBOOK...:bawl:

I know I am very uncomfortable around a man who cries. Somebody better be dead


I am so sorry that you had a boy. There is absolutely nothing wrong with a man who cries, and there is no reason to teach your child that someone needs to be dead for them to cry. What a horrible thing to do to a child...

Yes, lets teach them all to bottle it up and NOT communicate.

And you wonder why you have communication issues in all your relationships.

Well, at least your son will make a psychologist very rich someday.

I was thinking the same thing. What a great thing to teach your boys until someday they totally crack from holding things in for so many yrs.

You teach them to be strong and not sissy crybabies but teaching them you don't cry unless there is a death...in my opinion is raising them not to show emotion and come across as a cold hearted bastard.

LOL, I have the bitch on ignore so if you hadn't quoted her I could have..well, ignored it. LOL :D



I see a pattern here....

You used to always say the same thing about me too. If I could bet money, I would guess you don't have either of us on ignore because you love to PLAY GAMES.

"It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man." - Jack Handey

Tears don't come easily to me, but I don't freak out about it. It's interesting how easily physical pain and being upset would make me cry when I was a child, and even into my teens. But so gradually that I didn't even notice it, I got to where a dislocated shoulder would just make me grunt and grimace, but no tears.

A loved one died a few months ago, and her death has brought more tears to me in the past few months than anything in the prior twenty years or so. But there have been times where I felt as though crying about it would be a good release, but the tears wouldn't come. I felt like a bottle with a cork in it.

Years ago, a female friend of mine got upset with me because I said that I think women are more prone to tears than men are. I had to explain to her that I did not see this as a bad thing. Men tend to bottle up their emotions until they release them in a destructive way. When was the last time you heard of a woman going on a shooting spree when she got fired? Men are the ones who snipe from clock towers, or shoot everyone in the local McDonald's, not women.

You really do need to join a boxing gym and beat on the bag until you feel relief. I think it would make you happy.

It does for me.

I used to beat the shit out of the boxing bag at the gym. It does NOT help to get rid of negative feelings. Neither does cardio.

It's interesting how easily physical pain and being upset would make me cry when I was a child, and even into my teens. But so gradually that I didn't even notice it, I got to where a dislocated shoulder would just make me grunt and grimace, but no tears.

I've always wondered how much of that was because of the cultural stigma against a dude who can get misty that still hangs around, and each of us just getting tired and desensitized to the hard knocks of life. The higher the bar sits coming off the last hardship, the harder it is to advance again. Kind of like how few things on rotten.com can gross me out anymore, only with actual important shit in real life, and not closeups of self-induced rectal prolapses on the internet.

Tears don't come easily to me, but I don't freak out about it. It's interesting how easily physical pain and being upset would make me cry when I was a child, and even into my teens. But so gradually that I didn't even notice it, I got to where a dislocated shoulder would just make me grunt and grimace, but no tears.

Same here.


A loved one died a few months ago, and her death has brought more tears to me in the past few months than anything in the prior twenty years or so. But there have been times where I felt as though crying about it would be a good release, but the tears wouldn't come. I felt like a bottle with a cork in it.

Same here about 1 year ago, it was rough.


Men tend to bottle up their emotions until they release them in a destructive way. When was the last time you heard of a woman going on a shooting spree when she got fired? Men are the ones who snipe from clock towers, or shoot everyone in the local McDonald's, not women

Which is why it's good to find an outlet, some way to release it in other ways. I just don't think men are emotional like that in general. But we can be when it's personal like a friend, family member, especially children.

We have learned this behavior over thousands of years, it's not going to change with therapy.

Hundreds of scientists, therapists, medical professionals disagree.

Maybe that's why there is so much violence and suffering that's coused mostly by men, eh?

Crying is cathartic, and great if you're tense and knotted up. However, overuse of this mechanism is just damn selfish and annoying.
Do it rarely, and only when you're alone.