Hi can u pleze put up moar cardes pleze pleze.
From Billy, age 45

-Uhh... yeah... I'm working on it. If you tell your friends and they visit the site and browse around it a lot, I will make more money from the banner ads so I can buy more cards to scan in. I will try to sell off all the duplicates I get so that none of the money gets wasted. --EvylCh33z

Hi I like ur sight pleze make 1 4 me pleze could u.
From Microsoft Corp. (NASDAQ: MSFT)

-No. I am not a web designer. If you'll pay me money... yeah... sure... just tell me how much you'll pay me and what you want. But I reserve the right to not take every job you ask me to do. --EvylCh33z

Hi ur sew kewl eye im jonny and 3rd grade amerikin love jonny.
Jonny, age 23

-Thanks Jonny, It makes me feel good to be a male role model to a 3rd grader that's 10 years older than me. Love, Mark --EvylCh33z

Dear Webmaster,
I am from NOA/WOTC/GAMEFREAK/CREATURES/etc. and I'm afraid I have to ask you to take your illegal site down because it is infringing on our copyrights.
Sales Rep, age 3

-Illegal? Is this like how people who use copyrighted pictures for non-profit purposes are infringing on somebody's copyright? Mhm. I do see how this may damage your business, but after all if everything is successful I will be buying TCG packs in millions of dollars worth of bundles. So quit yer whinin'. And just to make you feel better, if you e-mail me I'll move my stuff to a web server in Taiwan where there is absolutely no question about its legality. (Taiwan has no copyright laws, very convenient. But of course I do not believe I am infringing on copyright laws, but I would do this to avoid a lawsuit that would lose us both money for no reason.) --EvylCh33z

I wanna help u wur sight pleze let me help u pleze.
Julius Caesar, deceased

-Wow, Caesar, what an honor. I didn't know you spoke English? Anyhow, I've only worked with a dead dude once on a website, and it didn't work out well. I just don't think dead people are my type, you know? --EvylCh33z

Are u gay? I think u r hahaha
Gaylord Focker (meet the parents), age undisclosed

-uhm... no.

Of course, I won't yet tell you what my idea is, you might steal it you cheap bastard, you ;)

Damn. I figured it out, but it turns out we had the same idea.

I was going to make the pledge grab-it for the toilet, you bastard! After you take a crap, instead of wiping it--

just.....GRAB it.