*sigh*

For the most part, I don't know many people because I'm a solitary type of guy. My friends can be counted on two fingers... one guy, and one girl. It seems as if I go through cycles as far as girls are concerned. For months at a time, I don't care enough to meet girls I might be interested in dating. Then, almost at random, 3 seem to come out of the sky. Here are the three: random set-up, Internet girl, and high school crush.

1) Random set-up. This one a guy at work is trying to set me up with. At first I thought it was awesome that he'd do that for me and the way he described her left me with a great impression. However, I just got off the phone with her trying to set-up a time to meet and all my interest disappeared during the course of the conversation. Why? Bunch of reasons. I'm going to go through with it though just to not upset my co-worker.

2) Internet girl. This one I met online about a week ago. Just by sending messages back and forth I think we'd make great partners in crime. She gave me her number, but I have yet to call her. I probably will tomorrow. Our mutual interests are in doing social norm experiments and random acts of oddity in public just for an effect. We figure that within an hour we'll get kicked out of the train station or city park. Or she'll stab me, steal all of my money, and accuse me of rape (because that's what happens when you meet people from the Interwebs).

3) High School crush. I guess I could also call her the one I let "get away." This is a girl I had the strongest crush on back in high school. Sad part is, we never talked. We were both painfully shy. She was one of only 2 girls I've ever had real attraction to (beyond sex, you know). I've been trying over the last 5 years or so to find her, and it proved to be difficult for a few reasons. But in the last couple of weeks I happened to have found her on Facebook (painstakingly searching by first name only). We've been messaging a each other for the last couple of days and she's quite shocked that I even remember her or that I even cared at all. She told me she had no friends in HS and did as much as possible to be invisible. I'm debating whether I should tell her I had a crush on her, just insinuate that I did, or say nothing. I guess I still do like her. We never talked even though we sat next to each other in English the entire year. We were both very shy and to be honest, I think she had a crush on me, too. I remember one day during summer break running into her at random in the grocery store... her face lit up when she saw me but we were both too shy to say much beyond cliches and "take cares." Typical teenage awkwardness.

I hope something great happens with number 3... she was the one I let "get away." She's the only one from high school I cared enough to remember after 8 or so years.

What's the point of this thread? I don't know.

Well, good luck. :D

Free relationship advice from James R, doctor of love. (:bugeye:)


For months at a time, I don't care enough to meet girls I might be interested in dating. Then, almost at random, 3 seem to come out of the sky. Here are the three: random set-up, Internet girl, and high school crush.

Sounds like the gods are smiling upon you.


1) Random set-up. .... However, I just got off the phone with her trying to set-up a time to meet and all my interest disappeared during the course of the conversation. Why? Bunch of reasons. I'm going to go through with it though just to not upset my co-worker.

You never know. People can be awkward on the phone and different in real life. And if you end up wasting a few hours, so what? Nothing ventured, nothing gained.


2) Internet girl. This one I met online about a week ago.

Not all people in cyberspace are weirdos. I mean, you're in cyberspace, right? (:bugeye:)

Again, nothing ventured nothing gained. And nothing much to lose if you do venture unsuccessfully. Just a little time.

(Unless she does turn out to be a bunny-boiling psycho stalker, but the chances of that are only 8 or 9 out of 10. Good luck! :))


3) High School crush. .... But in the last couple of weeks I happened to have found her on Facebook (painstakingly searching by first name only). We've been messaging a each other for the last couple of days and she's quite shocked that I even remember her or that I even cared at all. ....

She must have some inkling that you're interested in her. After all, you went looking for her (though she may not know how much effort you put into it) and bothered to contact her 8 years on from school. Ask her out. If she's interested in you, she'll accept. All indications are that she is.

If I have any advice it would be to treat your first date as an old friends catch up thing (or at least old schoolmates catch up). If the subject of mutual crushes happens to come up at some stage, that might be a good time to tell your secret, but I would be wary of rushing into it before you meet in person. You might sound a bit like a bunny-boiling stalker yourself.

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Disclaimer: no warranty express or implied is given with the advice of James R, Doctor of love^{TM}. Users enact advice at own risk. No responsibly or liability will be accepted for breakages (e.g. of hearts). All advice is general and the opposite may be a better option in individual cases. Users are urged to seek a second opinion before making financial and/or emotion decisions based on aforesaid advice. Direct all cheques and any complaints to JamesR@doctoroflove.com.

I would try the whacked out internet girl just for the fun of spontaneity and at the same time communicate with the old flame. Don't get to serious until you find out if there is compatibility with either one , but that is just Me . My wife and I are compatible and let Me tell you it makes for a happy loving relationship

Free relationship advice from James R, doctor of love. (:bugeye:)

Oh man...


You never know. People can be awkward on the phone and different in real life. And if you end up wasting a few hours, so what? Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Maybe it was just the awkwardness of being on the phone. But there was just something about the conversation that I couldn't maintain interest.



Not all people in cyberspace are weirdos. I mean, you're in cyberspace, right? (:bugeye:)

Again, nothing ventured nothing gained. And nothing much to lose if you do venture unsuccessfully. Just a little time.

(Unless she does turn out to be a bunny-boiling psycho stalker, but the chances of that are only 8 or 9 out of 10. Good luck! :))

I'm one person out of 10 on the Internet that isn't crazy. But, you know, she wouldn't be the first girl I've met online and then later in real life. The downside of this girl is that she doesn't reveal much of her over-all personality online. So, I'm hard pressed to think how the phone conversation is going to go. I guess the best strategy is to meet at a small coffee place or something for 15 minutes just to see if she's worth my time.


She must have some inkling that you're interested in her. After all, you went looking for her (though she may not know how much effort you put into it) and bothered to contact her 8 years on from school. Ask her out. If she's interested in you, she'll accept. All indications are that she is.

If I have any advice it would be to treat your first date as an old friends catch up thing (or at least old schoolmates catch up). If the subject of mutual crushes happens to come up at some stage, that might be a good time to tell your secret, but I would be wary of rushing into it before you meet in person. You might sound a bit like a bunny-boiling stalker yourself.

I'm sure she does have an inkling. After all, she's brought up twice her wondering why I even remembered her. And you are right, she doesn't know the effort I put into looking her up. But, I didn't try too hard... my efforts were mostly small and persistent. Every few months or so over the 5 years I'd spend about 20 minutes seeing if I could find her.

Probably in the next message I send I'll ask for her phone number or something and find out if she's interested in meeting up. I suspect that she's single, so that's good.

Yes, and good idea on holding back on the crush thing. It would look shady to mention that too early. I know that I've been creeped out in the past by girls doing that to me.

My brother hooked up with his old high school flame and it was a horrible outcome. They both grew up and were different people with their own beliefs and it really worked out badly.

I met my woman off of a dating website. I think there is an advantage to getting to know the person inside out before you meet them.

Hope the online chick doesent google absane and find this thread and think your a creeper LOL

Go with the old high school crush she clearly likes you or liked you in the past but i agree with the love doctor keep the crush thing silent unless it comes up randomly.
and good luck

Update:

Random-set up: We're going to probably meet Thursday or so for some basketball, hiking, or something. Dunno yet. But she's kinda creeping me out with random text messages about giving me massages or she saw someone and it reminded her of me. Umm... ok.

Internet girl: Looks like we're gonna meet Monday to play Frisbee and pull a random act of stupidity in public involving $10 worth of pennies at a busy train station. We don't talk much so I'm kind of surprised she's so open to meeting someone else from the Internet. But, I've done my research on her and she is who she says she is. Though, I don't know if she's the clingy and needy type. If she is, it wouldn't be hard for me to run away.

High school crush: She's kind of elusive, but that isn't surprising since she was the same in high school. She wasn't shy at all about telling me where she worked, what she does, and even inviting me to attend a class she's teaching this summer. I asked her about meeting sometime and she's fine with that. She said, however, that she's a single mom and it's kind of hard for her to do anything with out her because she can't afford a babysitter and her parents work all the time. I asked for her phone number and I gave her mine, so I'll see how this goes. Yea, I know... you're supposed to ask for her number and not give her yours until you contact her but I'm approaching this from the friends angle. Given everything she's doing right now, I don't think she's up to dating anyone at this time.

I am the same like you but I never had that many girls. I have a few friends and that forced me to start meeting women on my own. I had to get out on the street and use various crazy pickup lines to get something going. I got some from here
pickuplinesblog.com but it sounded weird for me in the beginning.

Well, after some time, I realized that I could say anything and get a good reaction :)

I now make up my own lines....and btw. I have two girls in my life now

Random-set up: We're going to probably meet Thursday or so for some basketball, hiking, or something. Dunno yet. But she's kinda creeping me out with random text messages about giving me massages or she saw someone and it reminded her of me. Umm... ok.



In other words, she's going to be the one sms'ing you every 3 minutes asking you where you are and what you are doing.

She will also be the one to do the whole 'you hang up, no you hang up' thing on the phone and if you hang up first, she will call back crying about how you don't love her.

ie. Psycho..


Internet girl: Looks like we're gonna meet Monday to play Frisbee and pull a random act of stupidity in public involving $10 worth of pennies at a busy train station. We don't talk much so I'm kind of surprised she's so open to meeting someone else from the Internet. But, I've done my research on her and she is who she says she is. Though, I don't know if she's the clingy and needy type. If she is, it wouldn't be hard for me to run away.
Hmmm..

Mystery.. She doesn't talk much - in that she would be considered shy. But she is meeting a complete stranger off the net.

Check to make sure she doesn't have an adam's apple..

Kidding..

Sort of.. :bugeye:


High school crush: She's kind of elusive, but that isn't surprising since she was the same in high school. She wasn't shy at all about telling me where she worked, what she does, and even inviting me to attend a class she's teaching this summer. I asked her about meeting sometime and she's fine with that. She said, however, that she's a single mom and it's kind of hard for her to do anything with out her because she can't afford a babysitter and her parents work all the time. I asked for her phone number and I gave her mine, so I'll see how this goes. Yea, I know... you're supposed to ask for her number and not give her yours until you contact her but I'm approaching this from the friends angle. Given everything she's doing right now, I don't think she's up to dating anyone at this time.
Sounds like you're more interested in her..

Doesn't hurt to have another friend either way. Can always do things with her during the day if the child is at daycare for example.. or take the child along.. Then lose it in the park somewhere.. Kidding of course..:p


Disclaimer: no warranty express or implied is given with the advice of James R, Doctor of love. Users enact advice at own risk. No responsibly or liability will be accepted for breakages (e.g. of hearts). All advice is general and the opposite may be a better option in individual cases. Users are urged to seek a second opinion before making financial and/or emotion decisions based on aforesaid advice. Direct all cheques and any complaints to JamesR@doctoroflove.com.
Okay..


You just reminded me of Dolly Doctor from when I was a teenager..

Must.. take.. that.. mental.. image.. out.. of.. my... mind..

Failing..:bawl:

Most Americans meet the person they're going to marry at work. After all, we spend more time there than on any other single activity, including (for many of us) sleeping. In addition, it's a fabulous venue for meeting people, for the precise reason that you're not there to meet people. You're being your real self, doing real things, demonstrating your attitude, your abilities and your social skills. This is the "you" that you are most of the time, not the artificial personality you cultivate when you're out "meeting people."

This is, after all, the part of someone that you would really like to get know before you decide on a relationship, and it's the same for them. So what a deal, the workplace provides that visiblity for you! You get to see how people are when they're tired, angry, anxious, frustrated, not how they are when they're half-drunk in a bar, nervous on a blind date, or preening on a website.

The equivalent environment for younger people is the university campus.

If you work in a small place and there just aren't any people there who are both available and compatible, the next best thing to do is: Go out and do the things you like to do, and get to know the people you meet there who like to do the same things.

This is the problem with going to bars to meet people: You're gonna meet an awful lot of people who like going to bars.

My take for Absane (since we are all playing this what to do kind of role, not that any of it will actually matter when it comes to the Girl Crunch)

Get to know them all, find out if you have feelings for them and them for you, but don't play the field too far in the sense of leading them all on. (It's bad enough having one upset woman in your life let alone three)

Above all, no matter the outcome, enjoy whatever time you spend with them in whatever way you spend it, even if it means a jar of pennies.