If Jesus did truly rise from the dead, is that not the same action as a Zombie?

He didn't eat anyone's brain, so he didn't hit Zombie status.

What about the Zombies that were killed before getting a chance to eat brains, are they any less a Zombie for it?

And what if a Zombie got smart enuff to figure out that if he rose from the dead looking like Jesus, he would not have to try so hard to catch people?

i think tecnically that would have made jesus a zombie yeah.

What about the Zombies that were killed before getting a chance to eat brains, are they any less a Zombie for it?

And what if a Zombie got smart enuff to figure out that if he rose from the dead looking like Jesus, he would not have to try so hard to catch people?
good point.

maybe jesus was a zombie.

If we go with the zombie theory, it brings up a more pressing question:

Are christians in actuality a cult of living dead worshipers?

Are christians in actuality a cult of living dead worshipers?
Of course we are, we sort of praise a man that came back from the dead. :rolleyes:

Of course we are, we sort of praise a man that came back from the dead. :rolleyes:
Speak for yourself I'm Jewish.

hmmm. i think they have a valid point.
he was risen from the dead, which makes him a zombie.
which means christians are the whole 'goldern people' thing most of them think they are (i know a lot who are) but more similar to the gothic subculture than anything else.

have any of you ever heard of this Haitian guy who supposedly died, then returned to his villiage 20 years after he was proven dead. he said that he was ressurected as a zombie and then enslaved by some guy who owned a farm. some people say its bullshit. i say its possible.
It's VooDoo mon!

Why would people want to pray to someone of the "living dead", it's just plain creepy.

they dont realize it, because they're too hung up on the alchohol-induced claims of 'his miracles' which were parlor tricks and herbal medicine, in reality.

I guess they get the kids distracted about the creepyness of it all, with the bunny and the painted eggs.

I think Zombies are only half-living, Jesus was said to have been resurrected totally, so he wasn't one.

no, zombies are just anything that was alive restored from dead to alive. could range from what darth nihilis is, a patchwork of bodyparts held together by the force to a fully-restored human, all the way back from the dead.

I think Zombies are only half-living, Jesus was said to have been resurrected totally, so he wasn't one.Even if what you say is true, it is still a very morbid thing to celebrate.

Anyway, here are the four definitions of Zombie provided by dictionary.com:

1. A snake god of voodoo cults in West Africa, Haiti, and the southern United States.

2a. A supernatural power or spell that according to voodoo belief can enter into and reanimate a corpse.

2b. A corpse revived in this way.

3. One who looks or behaves like an automaton.

4. A tall mixed drink made of various rums, liqueur, and fruit juice.

2a. A supernatural power or spell that according to voodoo belief can enter into and reanimate a corpse.

2b. A corpse revived in this way.

So then Jesus would have to be considered a Zombie?

meaning that christians are people who worship a zombie, mostly with blind faith. making them much closer to Voodoo now than thier judean roots, and also a lot like the modern goth subculture.
wow, thats weird now that you look at it.

Zombies lose something upon resurrection. The drugs & culture behind Hatian zombies bring them back mentally incapacitated, creating essential automatons. Jesus came back human or demigod or whatever, not retarded.

However, we could clone Jesus from the Turin shroud (if it was his), but if we messed up, we might get Down Syndrome Jesus.

Wow, a holy zombie. Now that would be cool. he may not eat a brain but he would have torn skin with his insides showing. Maybe an eyeball missing.

There's a nifty little flash animation with a guy who shoots people, and JC, who brings back the dead as zombies. It fucking rocks. There are three of them.
I think it's called Madness Redeemer, the one with the Christ.

Zombies lose something upon resurrection. The drugs & culture behind Hatian zombies bring them back mentally incapacitated, creating essential automatons. Jesus came back human or demigod or whatever, not retarded.

However, we could clone Jesus from the Turin shroud (if it was his), but if we messed up, we might get Down Syndrome Jesus.
uh...
shroud of turin was proven to be a fake. it wasn't woven until the middleages. carbon dating...never fails.

Incorrect. The shroud was repaired in the middle ages. New fabric was woven into the original. The carbon dating was carried out on the 'newer' material.