I've suffered from mental illness for several years, I guess I just got some bad DNA eh? Anyway, since taking medication I'm no longer mentally ill. But I've run across a problem, when I was mentally ill I committed a felony and left multiple jobs without giving two weeks notice, so now I'm f**ked and can't get a job. I applied for social security disability benefits but I got denied, twice. Right now suicide by nitrous oxide overdose sounds like a dream come true, but I don't have the damn money to buy a nitrous oxide tank! G*d f**ken d*mn it!
Your in a very hard place, but are you sure you haven't over looked some ways to get a job. Maybe if you're willing to work at something your over qualified for just to be working, then start looking for the job you want. You have heard the saying that it's easier to get a job if you already have one. <Right>? Anyway, every living human alive has problems of one kind or another. It's the price you pay for life. Also, I don't know if you can qualify for disability, but if you haven't got some legal advice, there are lawyers that specialize in disability cases, and they won't charge you unless they win your case and they won't accept it if they don't think they can win it.
Mod note: Thread moved from B&G to About the Members. I am in two minds about allowing this thread to exist but I’ll leave it open in the hope that some constructive advice might be offered.
Your not screwed at all. Just stop looking for jobs that need a background check is all. A waiter, bartender, landscaper, gardener, construction worker, receptionist, janitor, dishwasher and on and on are all jobs that don't ask many questions. It's up to you to just lower your standards as to what types of jobs that your willing to "adjust" to, that's all. Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! There are many felons that are working today in good paying jobs, look at all those bankers! Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
Diode-Man, I am not a trained councillor, psychologist or psychiatrist in any way (I don’t think anyone on Sciforums is and you should remember that in light of any advice you get), but I will make a few comments as a concerned bystander. Given that you are describing suicidal thoughts, I think it’s a very dangerous mindset to regard yourself as being “no longer mentally ill”. I think the need for ongoing management of your mental health is very important. You should seek a trained professional in one of the categories above, now, and tell them what you have told us. You clearly have internet access, so do please do some searching for appropriate counselling services in your state. http://suicidehotlines.com/utah.html With regard to your employment, have you definitely burnt all your bridges? Are none of your previous employers willing to reconsider you in light of the fact that you are now taking medication? Are there any advocacy groups in your state that can assist with job placement for people affected by mental illness?
Lie, lie, lie. I took a year off for personal pursuits a few years back and wanted to show continuity of employment so I just said I worked for a company that was now out of business. How can the new company check if your old company is out of business. You can have a horrible work history and simply manufacture one with ease doing this. Another option is to apply for your social assistance as disabled. Suicide is not an answer, and if you feel this way you are not ready for work and should be seeking counselling and disability.
I appreciate your problem being both mentally ill and in possession of a fairly interesting criminal record. I have found that farm labouring and working from home in my lab or on the internet have been useful. I'm physically disabled too now so am even more limited than before. Don't give up though, things have a habit of changing and might well improve for you. Try to be as positive as you can and bide your time, things do improve. Not much stays the same forever.
First off...you sound in need of intervention for the depression. Immediately. Secondly, most people do not get on disability in the US without suing the government...unless they are spectacularly crazy or physically disabled. Now that you are not spectacularly crazy due to being controlled by meds, it may be hard to get disability...again, you would have to sue. There are lawyers who will do this, but then you have to pay them out of your tiny ssi check for a long time. If you have a car, you can get some sort of a job delivering pizza or swabbing toilets, something menial and crappy. If you put up with that for 6 months, then you can start applying for better. If you absolutely cannot find work, and can't get benefits, see if you are eligible for financial aid, go to a community college and learn how to do something practical. If you can plumb well, wire well, or repair equipment well, nobody cares what your job history looks like...you're going to get hired because they need a fix-it person. Don't freaking give up though. As long as you are sucking oxygen, things can get better. Stick around for it and they almost certainly will. Edited to add: Yeah! remember that stint working for Enron??? Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! Suuure ya do! Gods know there's been enough companies going out of business, this might work.
Yeah... lying about your employment is a sure way to land yourself a good, stable career... [/sarcasm] Do so at your own peril, that is all I'm going to say on that. As for your current situation - have you considered going to a temp agency or any other form of help-for-hire staffing company?
I had forgotten about temp agencies, good catch. If you do a search on local temp agencies there is quite a long list. A lot of companies use temp agencies to look for new employees. If they like you (by seeing you in action) they will make you an offer.
As a felon, you have limted options. If you go the route of work, you are best creating your own business. Hire yourself. In the meantime, keep an ace in the hole if things dont work out. Keep playing the crazy card, ssi never says yes until several denials. Its better for your mind to work, but America will never forgive a felon. America just is not a work oriented leadership. Thats why we have too many ghettos and prisons, yet more wealth per capita than everyone else. The best to you.
You cannot be "cured" from mental illness in the traditional sense. It will always be with you but you must find a way to cope with it and accept it and ways to minimize the negative effects it has on you. I know how it feels to deal with mental illness but by its very nature mental illness is very idiosyncratic so my experiences cant necessarily be applied to yours. If they could i would tell you that i thought about suicide several times every day for around two years, i couldn't really sleep at all and i woke up every day immediately wishing that i hadn't bothered waking up. I don't know what it's like for you, but listen to me when i say that however bad things are for you just now, it will all just be an (unpleasant) memory, and nothing more, if you give it time. When you are unhappy you can't imagine what it would feel like to be be happy again and when you are happy it's hard to put yourself back in the mindset of someone who regularly considered jumping off a bridge just to see if i would in fact regret it half-way down - that made me smile, in a sick sort of way, theultimate joke at your own expense... In terms of employment you will have to bite the bullet and do work that is beneath you for the time-being, thats the way it is. I'm doing that too, with plans in place for next year, but essentially just take it one year, one day even, at a time. You'll hopefully find that things aren't as bad and you can actually envision some kind of future for yourself once you start the ball rolling; and believe me, THAT is the hardest part.
Lethargy isn't necessary "Suicidal thoughts". For instance if you think "I wish I hadn't woke up", it's not the same as a suicidal tendency. The main reason for such feeling is usually chemically driven, often caused by the body having produced too much of a particular chemical or trying to establish an equilibrium after having produced too much of a particular chemical. It's often suggested that "Alcohol" can make a depressed person worse, well the truth there is that if you drink too much too often, you suffer the "Down" of a hangover and the physical tiredness that will likely increase the level of depression. (That's why some people with depression will usually counter the statement that "one drink lifts their spirits", as long as it is only "one".) If you want to break the reign that lethargy has over you then it's likely you've got to identify what is increasing the chemistry that's creating the negative effect, sleep at a reasonable time, cut back on recreation usage of alcohol or drugs if you are that way inclined, eat properly (This means eat some fruit and veg rather than things with high levels of fats), even cut things like caffeine and nicotine out for a detox period, Exercise is also a possible method to aid (Just remember working out too long will tire you further), there is also stress related causes (High workloads, family concerns etc) Stress can be a difficult one to master, especially if you live with a parent that is actually the one stressing. (I can't really suggest much, other than wait till your old enough to live somewhere on your own.) There might of course be something deeply philosophically driven like "Why should I bother? What reason do I have?" or my personal favourite "Nobody care!". I'm going to put it bluntly, while you might think the perfect cure to getting you up and about is having someone "cute" of which ever gender you prefer "fussing" about your existence and potentially defining what it is you should do, they are unfortunately a figment of your imagination, at least while you continue the "Negative trend". You might of heard through news outlets of people having "Suicide pacts", well that's an extremely negative and stupid way of dealing with the problem, in fact I'm going to pose you a positive way of dealing with it, it's called the "Get off your ass pact" what it requires you to do is this.... First off, you know the first rule of fightclub ("don't talk about fightclub").... well this pact doesn't follow that, so throw that rule straight out the window (proverbially, not the actually screen for your computer or you'll have to replace both the screen and the window) Secondly I don't want to come across like some weirdly dressed pacifistic guru or yogic flyer, however I will say "You need to surround yourself with positivity", yes that does sound just like one of those archetypes might say, what it basically means however is that all the negative thoughts are like a "Decaying entropic Spiral of despair", namely you entrench yourself in thought of an issue and it's like looking at that issue through a magnifying glass, while it might be a small issue it "Sure does look bigger!" which makes you worse. So you need to inversely make this proportional, that means find something positive (No matter how small) and "ramp that sucker up!". Become a "Positive Amplifier" and hopefully you'll start seeing effects not just in yourself but those other people that you've probably subconsciously been worrying about. (Obviously I can't guarantee it will work with everyone, Trolls are designed to not function the way you would anitipate a normal person would respond, so expect them to maintain their ugliness and negativity in an attempt to keep you under, after all that is what actually feeds them.) Thirdly if your negativity and lethargy is due to anything you feel you can't accomplish or have some physical problem remember the simplest of terms "Adapt and overcome". Obstacles are evidentially everywhere and for everyone, some obstacles you might feel beaten by, some might seem to be placed there by others (especially Trolls), however there is nothing so "Positively satisfying" that defeating that obstacles intent, "to block progression". Sometimes you might not be able to hit an obstacle head on, if that's the case "Backtrack and try a different direction", if you thought mathematics was your thing but your mind is stopping you from handling the numbers then fall back and re-analyse what parts of mathematics you get and what you don't, you can either rally and reattempt to learn the areas you are failing "To overcome" or you learn to adapt to what you know and only deal with what you know. This might mean that that high end physics job you dreamt of is dashed to pieces, however it doesn't mean that you can play some part in that particular field as an assistant or trained specifically in one niche area. Now go be happy, go bound out of your bed realising the day is what you make it, rather than "just the way the day goes", considering "Living" rather than dying and if you make any money "I take cheques" (j/king)... really if you make money, spend it on something that makes you happy be it you, your loved ones or saving a whale.
@stryder i dont want to come across as a prick here but this is a subject very close to my heart and my personal experience of life; one that i have grappled with with varying degrees of success over the years and i find it very patronising and insulting that you felt you had state something like "lethargy is not the same as suicidal thoughts". I'm well aware of that and that is not what i meant. Suicidal thoughts are suicidal thoughts, the lethargic attitude goes hand in hand with that - depression to the point of contemplating ending your own life is far stronger then just feeling lazy when you get up. The lethargy you speak of stems from the fact that you genuinly feel that life is not worth living, perhaps even worth ending - sometimes you fear getting up as a continuation of these thoughts plays heavily on your mind from the second you open your eyes. You fear that you have to live through another day, you fear that today may be your last day if thoughts of a peaceful sleep outweigh the obligation that you feel you have to your family to not kill yourself and burden them with yet more grief arising from what you percieve as your sorry excuse for a life. I understand that you may be trying to help but belittling or playing down a mental illness so severe that thousands upon thousands of people take their own lives every year, is not helpful in the least and comes across as grossly ignorant of the actual subject matter, or at least of personal experience of it. Unless you have been there you can never understand, and i personally find blindly optimistic sweeping statements entirely unhelpful; if you have been there and have battled through it then you should know better. At least you care enough to post what you think is helpful though, so props for that!
Ghostintheshell, Incidentally it was never stated to belittle or reference that you were just "Lethargic", in fact it was just to identify that sometimes people do make mountains out of mole hills which is exactly what depression actually does in the sense that it greatly magnifies anything negative. As for my "fears", well technically I don't have "fears", just reservations. I have woke up thinking it's pointless before, but I have also noticed that's usually when physically I've been extremely tired and worn down, usually also something in my life will have likely suffered a setback not through my own action or inaction, in fact the main contributor to any such concerns has often been down to complete strangers making an action or inaction with complete indifference to me or the effect generated by their small but feeble involvement in my life. (You will indeed find it very egocentric, however that it's where any trauma is going to arise, when it effects the person that observes the effects and analyses the causes, namely "the ego".) I guess one reservation would be "Misinterpretation", now that seem to happen a lot, I can't think why, perhaps it's just how I characterise what I type and people allow their minds to fill in the blanks much like a Horror Novelist utilises the human capacity to be inventively interpretative, to make a horror scene from nothing more than just contextual structuring, proverbially setting the scene for the mind to play. So in essence I'm not trying to belittle, badger or be pretentious, quite the contrary, I would consider myself friendly and warm, albeit a little recluse, for the most part I never mean anything to be in the context of offensive, unless of course I write it to be the epiphany of all those that could be offended. As for dealing with people and depression, I have indeed met people with severe depression, although in their particular instance most of it was caused by them losing themselves and being "shouted down/brow beaten" by previous partners, a person attempt to rebuilt their resolve is a difficult thing but it requires them to be committed to at least attempting to change their perception to reap a positive effect. The one major player to a negative spiral is "giving up", so it's just identifying a way to induce a system of goals that allow a person to complete the goals set. The goals have to be challenging enough to create a positive effect when complete, but not too ludicrous that they become unachievable. For instance "Say 'Hi!' to five people of the opposite sex in a day.", it shouldn't be particularly difficult, unless of course you go ubber recluse and hide from the world outside your door. Yes!, it will likely see absolutely pointless, but that is just negative enforcement, where your psyche will likely attempt to rationalise back onto that depression path. If you can just override that and attempt to put a brave face on, it can lead to all sorts of positive opportunities, maybe a date, maybe just a positive feeling for actually interacting with another person, after all other people are just as prone to moods and conditions as anyone else, so in the process of trying to uplift your own, you might be able to uplift someone else's and uplifting someone else's I would state is "extremely commendable" (double merit points and a pack on the back if you make them smile naturally, asking them to smile is kind of forced and likely creepy.) Just remember while the old adage, "A problem shared, is a problem gained" is true, there is also "Smile and the world Smiles with you" which might not be absolute, but since when has a smile harmed anyone?.
There are companies that apply for SS benefits on your behalf in exchange for a percentage of the payments. Not sure how reliable or honest they are, but it might be worth it.
@ Stryder - the small changes to one's attitude and behaviour that you speak of do all contribute in a positive way to increasing general happiness and contentment in life. The trouble is that from the outside it is very easy to just say words and give advice, being on the other end is not as simple as someone just saying "be happy" or something similar. You were right in your other post when you mentioned chemical imbalance as being a major (if not the main) cause of such feelings, as well as your comment about the ego playing a huge part. It's usually a chronic deficiency in serotonin that is the most common but when it comes to the mind it's never as simple as just working out the mechanics as in a car or even for the rest of the body. I studied psychology and neuroscience for a few years and i came to the conclusion (as a sweeping statement) that the interplay between the different components of the brain can not, given current technology, be expalained using mechanistic inductive methods. The sum is far greater than the whole when it comes to the human mind and the whole area becomes even more complex and even less understood when you start to take aspects such as lived experience into account. We are able to sympathise to a degree with other humans but we can never REALLY empathise due to the fact that we can only ever look at another persons world how we THINK they are experiencing it, we can never actually know; so its all just guesswork when it comes to attempting to apply one's own methods and understanding to another's experience of life - especially when trying to understand why someone is unhappy in life despite the fact that their basic needs are met. We can never truly put ourselves in anothers shoes. I wrote a piece for my final year on why depression and similar mental illness still exists in developed nations and how it will be the greatest challenge facing psychologists over the next couple of decades. (i'm not saying that im correct or anything, it was just my opinion, well founded i felt, but still just my opinion)
