How to make real human friends and get a girlfriend?

Discussion in 'Free Thoughts' started by Vexen, Sep 9, 2015.

  1. Vexen Registered Member

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    27
    Hi,

    There must be tricks that people on this forum have learnt.

    Thanks
     
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  3. billvon Valued Senior Member

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    Go do real human things with real human people (and real human women.) There is nothing you can do on line; you have to go and actually do things in the real world. Go to school, take a course, volunteer for a trail cleanup, volunteer at a local school.
     
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  5. Fraggle Rocker Staff Member

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    In either case (friendship or romance), you're ultimately better off when the relationship is based on honesty and respect. So the word "tricks" isn't really appropriate. I'll just assume that you used a slang word to mean "ways to meet people that are likely to result in honest, respectful relationships."

    I have given the same advice to many people over the decades: If you want to meet people who enjoy a lot of the same things you enjoy, then just go out and do the things you like to do, and you'll just naturally meet other people who like the same things.

    If you like music, go to concerts. If you like art, go to galleries. If you like history, go to museums. If you like sports, go out and play them.

    Obviously, if your favorite pastime is to sit at home, you're less likely to meet people like yourself outside of home. In this case, your best bet is probably to focus on the people you work with. You automatically have a lot in common! Most Americans spend more time on the job than on any other single activity, including sleeping (if it's fair to refer to sleeping as an "activity"). And on the job, we're more likely to exhibit our normal stay-at-home personality, if only because it takes a lot of energy and commitment to put up a consistent pretense, all day every day.

    The result: more Americans meet the people they marry at work, than anywhere else. Companies that have a rule against employees dating have a hell of a time getting anyone to obey it!

    Whatever you do, it's widely noted that dating websites are not the best place to look for love, for the obvious reason that it's so easy to build a false personality. Social networking sites like Facebook are better, because if somebody tells you a fib, all of his/her friends will jump in and identify the lie.

    As for finding friendship rather than romance, obviously a place like Facebook is a pretty good place to find people who like the same things you like.
     
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  7. Vexen Registered Member

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    Thanks

    I'm horrified by the position I find myself in. I've basically become an Internet troll/philosopher. I have tried for years to get out of this situation, but I continuously fail.

    Everyone seems so busy with their own lives and when I do meet people I always cancel
    because I'm so afraid. I don't even have a Facebook account, which means I don't exist. I've been at university for three years and I made a few acquaintances and met no girls.

    I acknowledge my problem and I've read self help websites, but I'm stuck in this stupid room. I'll try to join a club or something next year.

    Any additional advice will help. ..
     
  8. Vexen Registered Member

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    27
    When I confront the issue it just makes me depressed. I sometimes hope I don't wake up the following morning. My family might be a bit sad for a few days, but my mind wouldn't have to suffer and society might be better off.

    I think my only hope is my academic life.
     
  9. timojin Valued Senior Member

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    Go to church this is a hospitable place and you will find friends .
     
  10. danshawen Valued Senior Member

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    3,951
    Learn to dance.
     
  11. Oystein Registered Senior Member

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    890
    The making of human friends in the present time seems to demand an unfolding of our lives if we are going to be successful. Yearning is born in the gap where insight has been excluded. You must take a stand against ego.
     
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  12. Vexen Registered Member

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    I have to keep in line with the status quo.
     
  13. IIIIIIIIII Registered Senior Member

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    Freud said that a "relation" is unavoidable between 2 individuals of the opposite sex as long as they stay in a room for a sufficiently long amount of time... Should be doable for you as well, right ?
     
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  14. sculptor Valued Senior Member

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    8,466
    That's a good start. By and large women and men both need companionship. You just may be the answer to a lonely woman's needs.
     
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  15. Vexen Registered Member

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    27
    Okay,

    So, I'll get a girlfriend inevitably?
     
  16. James R Just this guy, you know? Staff Member

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    39,397
    Do you mean "eventually"? Getting girlfriends isn't inevitable.
     
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  17. Vexen Registered Member

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    27
    That's disappointing.

    There's alot of people around, the probability of not getting a girlfriend should be very low.
     
  18. Vexen Registered Member

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    I always that think that I might invent something one day that would make me rich and consequently happy.

    It's the only hope I have. I'll just keep reading everyday and hope something good happens.
     
  19. Beer w/Straw Transcendental Ignorance! Valued Senior Member

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    6,549
    That sounds kinda' depressingly weird.

    Get out in public and use some things you read on fora for topics of discussion? Maybe like: http://www.sciforums.com/forums/ufos-ghosts-and-monsters.108/ Death by ufo... Or, on second thought, maybe not. But the X-Files were definitely real, however.
     
  20. Stoniphi obscurely fossiliferous Valued Senior Member

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    3,256
    We have "relationships" with people we "relate" to. We "relate" with people that we share interests, experiences, hobbies and similar with. The more people you are around, the more people you will meet and converse with and the greater the chances that you will find someone you can relate with. Do NOT come across as desperate or lonely - you must be comfortable with yourself before you can be comfortable with anyone else. There is a huge difference between being alone and being lonely. If you wish others to be attracted to you, you must first make yourself attractive.
     
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  21. IIIIIIIIII Registered Senior Member

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    That's funny considering that most inventors never got rich or got credit for their inventions...
     
  22. Vexen Registered Member

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    Okay, thanks for the advice.

    I'll try to:
    1)Dance
    2) Not seem desperate
    3)Talk about X-files
    4) Find other desperate people
    5) volunteer
     
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  23. Vexen Registered Member

    Messages:
    27
    That's helpful. I'll think about that.
     
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