I don't think my actions whether at work or in my personal life, are motivated by a need to be praised. Praise is great, if it happens as a byproduct but not as my end game. Sadly though, I probably gear my actions and non-actions, towards a desire to not be judged. I have a situation now at work, that I'm feeling compelled to speak up about, as it will lead to growth for my team. To keep my mouth shut, would mean that I'm not only willing to enable negative behaviors of others that harm the team, but I'm more concerned with how I'm perceived, than doing the right thing. How might you answer this question?
You can't escape being judged. That is out of your hands. You will be judged whether you speak up or not. Once you accept that everyone will judge you, for action and inaction alike, the question then becomes a matter of how it is you wish to be judged: do you want to be judged as the leader who didn't promote their team, who didn't strive for growth for her team, for example? Or the one who seemed to look for what might be the easier solution for themself, irrespective of the damage it does to her team? Also of consideration is whose judgement you are concerned about? Your superiors? Your teams? Friends? Inconsequential work colleagues? And ask yourself why it matters to you what they think. Do you actually value their judgement? Ultimately, why are you working where you are: is it to make friends, is it to keep your head down and pass the time, or is it to do the best you can for the company that pay you, to make a difference? And how would you sleep if you didn't speak up, compared to if you did? I'm sure you'll do what you think is best. Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
These are really great questions, and I've put some thought into them this weekend. I believe that I'd feel poorly if I didn't speak up, and perhaps I'm worried about being fired if I do speak up, as opposed to ''not rocking the boat.'' Unfortunately, the boat is rocking, and I'm on it. Thank you so much for your help, and contributing to this thread. You're a smart one, Sarkus. Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
Looks like you answered your own question, and sounds like you know what the right thing to do is. We're all creatures of society, and our path through life is shaped by reactions of others within that society. As children we are praised when we clean our rooms or help our siblings. In school we are praised when we get good grades. This praise forms part of our psyche, and how we work towards goals. Later in life praise comes in the form of good reviews, or raises, or promotions. By that point in their lives, most people realize that praise and doing the right thing don't always go hand in hand. Hopefully by the time we get to that stage we know the difference and can choose to forego the praise in favor of doing the right thing. For me, I trust the opinions of a few people I am close to at work. They are how I value my work, and how I decide how much I am contributing. They are generally not the same people as the people who give "official praise" (raises and whatnot) but more often than not the two groups have similar opinions.
