Ok there was a girl who liked me so much she said she wanted to marry me and have my children ect

today i decided to stop hiding the fact that i am bi from everyone and i decided to tell her thinking it wouldnt even matter

she told me never to talk to her again and acted like

i am not going to post the whole convo but here is some exstracts
Rebecca: yah well you did
Rebecca: dont tell me im shallow!
Rebecca: dont even talk to me
Rebecca: ur mean]


Rebecca: yah ok
Rebecca: dont turn this on me
Rebecca: its not my fault
Rebecca: im not the ones WHOS BI!

how could she?

i mean i wouldnt cheat on her with anyone male OR female
*crys*:(

and i decided to tell her thinking it wouldnt even matter
can only imagine what gave you that impression. LOL

And yet people still wonder ...

Welcome to it, Avatar.

I live in a different situation: I have an ex-girlfriend who is convinced not that I'm gay but that I am a woman; that's what cracks me up so much about gender insults around here. I also have a girlfriend--among other titles of dubious respect--who actually asked me to have sex with a guy so she could see it. And I do recall a wild bisexual night in a hotel somewhere that slips my mind. It has to be at one of two places, given who all was around; but that makes ... three women I've dated who (A) would not leave, and (B) thought I should be screwing guys.

It never makes sense.

Not ever.

On the other hand, my actual family probably only wonders, if even that. My mother is convinced that one of my best friends is gay; she might, actually, be right, as I'm finding out these days. But he'll never admit to it, and what's actually funny is that my mother generally assumed that all my friends corrupted me; it would never occur to her that it was the other way around. Generally speaking, even if they thought I was capable of doing guys, they would probably be in denial.

Let's put it this way, though: No matter how in love you fall, no matter how much the world seems on your side, if your partner can't screw, the relationship is doomed. And, frankly, if she can't deal with that simple deviation from her expectations, I doubt the fun stuff involving custom-designed equipment, bodily produce, and hordes of clown-midgets would fly except when it hit the fan.

The heart will mend, the conscience find its ease. But the raging boner shall never falter.

Go with what feels good. Anyone else has a problem with it, well, it's their own damn problem.

thanx,
Tiassa :cool:

im ASGUARD not avatar

and it would have been cheating either way so what difference does it make??????

i told my best friend and i didnt even have to say it cause he said he has known for 3 months

wierd cause I havent known that long

ok here is a really strange thing

i have been having a REALLY bad day cause i found out my best friend has liver and kidney damage so i was drinking myself drunk and blurted it out to mum amoung other things (like that my best friend is a drug dealer)


and she goes if u have never done anything how do u know???

how stupid R people

i knew i wasnted to screw a girl before i did too

how dose every vergin know

and as if she wanted me to answer that question ANYWAY "er mum its cause i have a desire to suck a guy off" how stupid are people

and then she is like make sure ur careful cause its worse for that

well thanks mum i am more likly to get aids if i have one partner of either sex than my brother who brings home a new GF every week

i cant belive the stupidity of people

yeah it is ASGUARD not Avatar

I can't believe she did that to you Az

You did nothing to her but tell her the truth.
Whatever happened to people liking honesty in relationships today? Has that been thrown out of the window too?

Azi, you have done nothing wrong, absolutly nothing wrong. I think you did the right thing by telling her

*shakes head in disbelief*

Asguard: why would she react like that?:(
i mean i wouldnt have cheated on her either way
zvirbulvanags: because she got to know that there is no future relationship with you
zvirbulvanags: you destroyed her plans
zvirbulvanags: you said for yourself she wanted kids from you and all- now you say you are a bi- that means that you don't want to have wth her anything more than a friendship (I know no girl that would like to see another man as her boyfriend's "friend")
zvirbulvanags: it hurt her because she wanted smthing more and she wanted you all for herself and not to share you with any other - especially a guy

*jumps up and down*

i am BI avatar

i like both

just like u like red heads and blonds

fact that i like redheads doent mean i cant screw a blond happerly

zvirbulvanags: it hurt her because she wanted smthing more and she wanted you all for herself and not to share you with any other - especially a guy still remains

who said anything about sharing?????

cause i like girls doesnt mean she would have to share me with another girl

same applies

Av, I'd have to agree with Azi

Being Bi-Sexual doesn't mean you just like men. You like both men and women.


because she got to know that there is no future relationship with you
But there was, and if she see's her error, they may still be a chance


you destroyed her plans
She destroyed them herself


it hurt her because she wanted smthing more and she wanted you all for herself and not to share you with any other - especially a guy
It was self inflicted pain she is feeling. She over reacted BIG TIME

Avatar, the BI in Bi-Sexual must have given it away. Bi means two. He hasn't got a preference when it comes to gender. I say 'Good for him' and I support him all the way.

I see nothing wrong with either Homosexuals or Bi-Sexuals, but I must point out that I am neither (just to avoid confusion)

I don't say I have smthing against any homos or whatever -

I just told what that girl very probably had felt

why is the title to this thread "homophobia"?

because it was about that girls reaction

Av, she had no reason to feel that way, she overreacted in a major, major way

And the Homophobia title thing, its cos she seems very Homophobic

Hmm, maybe I come from planet Zw*r!k....:bugeye:

Av, she had no reason to feel that way, she overreacted in a major, major way
you sure? but I'm almost 100% positive that that is how a girl could have felt

I once had a bisexual gf. Maybe your first reaction is: wow, did you have a threesome?
In fact, I wasn't really comfortable with it at first. I experienced it as a threat to the relationship.
It's like saying to your brunette gf that you actually prefer blondes.
Only after a while, I came to accept that it was not a threat to the reationship any more than she possibly being attracted to other guys. I know it's irrational, but apparently when it comes to love, we just are irrational.


And it would be homophobia if she had physically attacked you, or threatened you, or had she shown any other agressive raection. This was the reaction of a girl being hurt.
I can understand that.

a more personal note: Asguard, i do not think it is appropriate to get into the detail of showing the world her acual name. Please edit it.

you sure? but I'm almost 100% positive that that is how a girl could have felt
But there is no reason to feel that way. It shouldn't have made a difference at all. If she had said she was a little uncomfortable with the idea and said she'd need a little time to get used to it, sure, thats the responce I'd have given. But she blew up for no reason imo

I can't imagine how Azi must feel. atm I say who cares how the girl must have felt.
Anthony has all my sympathy and I just hope she see's that she over reacted and they patch things up.

As I've said before, Anthony has done nothing wrong. Its like saying she found out he was 5'9" and said 'I can't be with anyone that height'. Ant has done nothing by telling her the truth about himself. He is not responcible for her reaction.
Again, if she is hurt and feeling pain, it is self-inflicted

Apologies extended.

Problem diagnosed: Sobriety.

Proposed solution: Send weed, now. Airlift if possible.

thanx,
Tiassa :cool:

I dont think this is helping any but I am also bi.

how could she?

i mean i wouldnt cheat on her with anyone male OR female

Im not bi but I know the difference between right and wrong. And what you did Asguard was wrong. You hid the fact that you were bi. You didnt tell her or anybody else that you were bi until you decided that you liked her that much.

But if she loves you that much then she'll come back to you. Unless she feels that betrayed, I know I would.

And what you did Asguard was wrong. You hid the fact that you were bi. You didnt tell her or anybody else that you were bi until you decided that you liked her that much.
there are certain things you just don't go around shouting to the world. this is one of them.

And what you did Asguard was wrong. You hid the fact that you were bi. You didnt tell her or anybody else that you were bi until you decided that you liked her that much
He told me, and plenty of other people

And I thought I was the only one! :D:D
There's bi's and queens coming out of the woodwork lately.

I just wonder where everyone gets the idea that asguard was wrong or bad.
And to answer CCs comment, maybe As did the right thing in waiting until he felt sure of this womans feelings before divulging his orientation.
The reason being that just telling everyone right away results in stigma and comments and judgement such as yours.

Being Gay or Bi or fuckin orange is nobody's problem. The problem only begins when other people feel they have the right to judge an individual as bad.

Check your own shit people it stinks just like ours does!!

I suspect Asguard and Bbcboy are really closet heterosexuals...

*bbcboy yawns at tired old lines from someone who talks about the closet FAR TOO MUCH!*

Pfft! Old stupid jokes are the only ones I know. I explored my closet years ago and found the thing full of dusty old cobwebs.

actully to tell the truth the only person who knew when i met her was my best friend

I didnt know

hell i STILL dont know

but then if u spend all ur early teenage years thinking about kissing whatever guy happens to be in the room at the time and ur late ones thinking about sucking a cock what else r u?????

i know i am not gay thats the only thing i AM sure of

i like girls WAY to much for that

PS if u dont like how blunt that was to bad, this is my thread so get over it (especially as i am the one who u would complaine to, power rocks:D)

bbc ur a bad influance on me:p

and nightfall ur right

telling the wrong person that is a quick way to land in hospital unfortunatly, no matter WHAT the laws say

i am not that nieve that i tell ANYONE everything about me

all she needed to know was i was atracted to HER

hell if i like red heads does that mean i cant date a blond????

While we're dragging out tired old lines I'm sure I said this before but why is it so necessary for you to have a label asguard?

Surely it makes more sense to simply call yourself 'sexual' a healthy, normal 'sexual' person.
We all have attractions to other people male or female and those who deny this are simply afraid of the things I mentioned in my first post on this thread.

Those attractions aren't always sexual. I've had lots of realtionships with both sexes and seem to have gravitated naturally toward men. They make me feel better. more comfortable in my self. not as opposed to women, just in comparison with them.

Be at peace with yourself and only take advice if it's needed. Peoples opinions are transient at best. As is there presence in your life.
Those who are meant to stay with you will do so!
Deep breaths!! and kiss who ya damn well please:D

Why hide anything about yourself?

I don't volunteer my favourite food or drink out of the blue, but neither to I hide such information. Don't be a sissy. Hiding and being fearful of how others will treat you is basically going into relationships with a head full of lies. Very silly.

And, if anyone does really give you a problem about it, kick 'em in the nuts!

erm.. It was a girl Adam (They don't have them, which is part of the problem!!) :p :rolleyes: :D

Well, you can't hit girls (it's in the Adam rulebook), but for other people it works.

He told me, and plenty of other people

Your missing my point here. He told everyone else, he didnt tell her until he knew for sure that she liked him. That changes everything. Had you told her early on then it would of been okay, but when you get her to like you and then you say "I like men to" it makes a difference. It probably didnt help that you said "I wouldnt ever cheat on you". She probably thinks that you already have.

Dont feel bad. I hope I didnt hurt your feelings or anything. Its just the way that you describe the situation makes it look like your the bad guy. Your not a bad guy, what you did in the way that I see it though was wrong.

i thought he started off by telling her. i thought she was the first one he told.. but either way..

If i met a guy, who didn't know, and i thought it might bother him, i would wait to see if it was even going to be worth telling him or if the relationship wouldn't go anywhere anyway for two reasons:

1. why make a big deal out of it, if your realtionshiop isn't going to last anyway.
2. Maybe they will love you enough to understand you nstead of just turing the otherway.

it didnt help???

why would it make any difference AFTER she told me never to THINK about her again

and i bet there r thinks u have told ur best friends before ur BF

i didnt tell her simply because I didnt know

once I was sure (i asume its ok if i know before her *sarcasum*) i did tell her

and do u tell every guy u pick up ur life story when u first date ANYWAY????

adam its a bit different, the fact that ur obsesed with pizza wont get u killed and its a hell of a lot easier for u. NO one in there right mind would pick a fight with u

Originally posted by Asguard

adam its a bit different, the fact that ur obsesed with pizza wont get u killed and its a hell of a lot easier for u. NO one in there right mind would pick a fight with u
Being bisexual won't get you killed or bashed either, unless you're in Saudi Arabia or something. Or does that crap still happen?

yes

unfortunatly it does

Being bisexual won't get you killed or bashed either, unless you're in Saudi Arabia or something. Or does that crap still happen?

I have a very good freind who is bi, and his b/f was beat to death last year by a bunch of guys that knew him. so yes, people do get killed over it.:mad:
edit: and no, this was not in detroit either, it was in a normal little town like all the rest.

Im from Louisville and there are tons of bi/gay people here. Asguard if you just found out that your bi and then told her that you know for sure that your bi then you should of told her that you were thinking about it.

I'm amazed that such crap still happens. I thought maybe people were starting to get over it.

today i decided to stop hiding the fact that i am bi from everyone and i decided to tell her thinking it wouldnt even matter But Asguard. I dont think that makes u bisexual. Isnt the word bisexual?? Isnt it about the sex? like someone said, if u fancy other guys then yeah, u fancy other guys. There isnt a label for everything.So u fancy other guys but ur with her right!? Well if u were with her and u fancied other girls would it make any difference? In fact im sure u did but u didnt mention it. I dont think u should have mentioned it if like u said u werent going to cheat on her. Maybe if things changed and there was a guy who you really had strong feelings for then maybe you could have talked about it with her. Dont mean to put you down.Just my view.

^
does that mean that a virgin is asexual? lol. ;)

i finally talked to her again

*sighs*

i HATE religiouse nuts and i dont just mean people who belive in some form of god (i am agnostic)

well read it urself


Rebecca: it takes forever 4 u to answer
Asguard90: i was in the shower
Rebecca: oh sry
Rebecca: well im sry if i hurt
Rebecca: u
Rebecca: i just hope u can forgive me one day
Asguard90: it doesnt change anything
Rebecca: friends forever
Asguard90: i would rather one girl who wanted ME than a million friends
Asguard90: friends just rub salt in the wound
Rebecca: no thats so not true
Rebecca: if u need me 4 anything im always here
Rebecca: k
Asguard90: really?
tell me how i feel when u tell me about how good ur BF is
and then emma does
Asguard90: and lorraine
Asguard90: and ash winges about hers
Asguard90: and kira
Asguard90: and bernadette and lori
Asguard90: and i am alone
Asguard90: how does that feel?
Rebecca: omg i am sos ry
Rebecca: i didnt tell u my b/f was good
Rebecca: i was telling u how i was mad at him
Rebecca: and i know it doesnt feel good
Rebecca: hey well i felt bad when my friends were like haing guys
Rebecca: and i had noone
Rebecca: and now my friends have guys who are close to them
Rebecca: and mine isnt
Asguard90: but were they people U wanted and they were rubing it in ur face?
Rebecca: no they were girls lol
Rebecca: and no they werent
Rebecca: but im sry if im rubbing it in ur face'
Asguard90: whatever
Asguard90: what do u want me to say?
Asguard90: how about that i would have done ANYTHING for u just to get u to hold me
Asguard90: how about that i would have happly given up a country i love so i could be with u
Asguard90: that sound like someone who doesnt care?
Rebecca: that sounds like someone who is in love with me
Asguard90: yea
i am
Rebecca: and i feel special b/c u think of me that way
Rebecca: but when u told me that u were bi like u got me thinking
Rebecca: and i can not deal with soemthing like that
Rebecca: i just couldnt handle it
Rebecca: i didnt now what to say or do
Rebecca: and i thankyou that u feel that way about me
Rebecca: i really do
Asguard90: what couldn't u handle?
that i might perve at a guy as well as u doing it?
Asguard90: i dont think ur that nieve to say u would never look at another guy except ur BF
Asguard90: whatever
i would have been the best BF u could ever have

but no
u couldnt see past one little thing that i cant help
Rebecca: but see u can help it
Rebecca: u dont have to be bi if u dont WANT TO
Rebecca: and if u say u were born this way thats a lie
Rebecca: cause noone is born gay
Rebecca: or bi
Rebecca: or lesibian
Asguard90: ur wrong about that
Rebecca: u decide to become that way
Rebecca: no im right
Rebecca: God did not make people to be gay
Asguard90: no
ur sexual preferances r decided before ur 5
Rebecca: he made them to be in his image
Rebecca: and is god bi?
Rebecca: or gay
Rebecca: no!
Asguard90: thats a SCIENTIFIC fact
Rebecca: um not really
Asguard90: maybe ur right
maybe it wouldnt have worked
as i am no religiose nut
Asguard90: i try to look at stuff rationally
Asguard90: god created science so anything science finds IS his plan
Asguard90: like the fact that its not just humans who have homosexual tendancys
Asguard90: and there is a reason why girls r more likly to have a 3som than guys
its so the speacies sevives
Asguard90: one guy to how ever many girls and the bi ness the girls display will bind them all closer
Asguard90: do u know how farmers know when a cow is on heat?
Asguard90: she will mount other cows


tell me how i am surpose to deal with that?:(

does that mean that a virgin is asexual? Had the same thought myself nightfall.
tell me how i am surpose to deal with that? eeeeeeeeeeerrrrm. *shrugs* Well thats quite a conversation you had. If i were u id go round there and stab her to death. Its what she deserves. :D stab her in the eye till she dies.and then bum her :D

Angels are supposed to be Hermaphrodites, just a useless peice of info


Asguard90: and ash winges about hers
lol she does!!!

Pete: That was a bit insensitive of you. Where's your heart?


Rebecca: but see u can help it
Rebecca: u dont have to be bi if u dont WANT TO
Rebecca: and if u say u were born this way thats a lie
Rebecca: cause noone is born gay
Rebecca: or bi
Rebecca: or lesibian
Asguard90: ur wrong about that
Rebecca: u decide to become that way
Rebecca: no im right
Rebecca: God did not make people to be gay
This is what stood out to me. Ant, you can't help feeling what you feel. She doesn't seem to have her priorities in the right order. And she isn't right. Anyone who says different doesn't understand the concept of free will!!

I'm still angry at what she did to you Ant :mad:
It was a very immature thing for her to do!!

Rock On
Thor

Originally posted by Asguard
tell me how i am surpose to deal with that?
I think your being too hard on her Asguard, she doesn't sound that bad to me. It's not like she's shunning you, she just doesn't feel comfortable dating someone whose bi. Alot people hesitate about dating a person who is bi because they feel the person may be confused sexually, or they don't fit into the image that attracted them anymore. Also, there is a difference in how bi women are viewed as compared to bi men. I don't know many guys who would care if their girlfriend was into women, hell, most would see it as a plus.:D But most women I've heard, view bi guys as gay. Its a hard sell for a guy to sleep with another guy and say he isn't gay. Not saying its right, but it's a hard thing for people to comprehend.

They'll be other chicks who will come along, no sense in losing a friend over this. I would accept her apology and move on, a good freind is a lot harder to find than a good girlfriend.

i still think u should go round there and kill her asguard.Smash her face in with a glass. Try to put the glass actually through her face.

I think your being too hard on her Asguard
I'd have to disagree with you, she totally over-reacted and I sympathise with Ant totally

Pete: That was a bit insensitive of you. Where's your heart? I havent got one.

Guessed that

I'd have to disagree with you, she totally over-reacted and I sympathise with Ant totally

She did overreact, but she also apologized to Asguard for doing it. If she's not into bi guys, that's her choice. I just don't think this is worth losing a friendship over.

Quite right! :D

Just move on. Shes not worth wasting ur time over.Im sure you could have your pick of girls when uve got her out of your head. You sound like a sensible, clever, funny, well-rounded indivual. Forget about her!

If she's not into bi guys
That's her problem, not Ant's!!

Its obvious you don't fully comprehend what Ant has been through lately, this latest incident is like kicking someone when they're down!!

But Ant, thats no reason to be discouraged. You should have some extra confidence from your new job. Its always a rocky road to happiness

Rock On

Thor

That's her problem, not Ant's!!
I agree Thor, I'm not saying that Asguard's wrong in this matter. I just don't think this is worth throwing away a friendship, especially when there's many other fish in the sea.

Novody has to like everything. If she isn't attracted to bisexual guys, that's her choice. What, you think you should say "You should be attracted to bi guys", and she should rpetend she is and go out with you? Screw that. Her choice. People have preferences, and now you know hers. You kept youre preferences from her; and amazingly, when you finally told her the truth about your preferences, she told you of hers.

Hang on Asguard... You say it's a proven scientific fact that sexual preference is determined before 5 years of age? I was under the impression it is determined in early adolescence. But tat's beside the point. You are saying "It's not my fault, it's biology!" How is that supposed to change her sexual prefence to include bisexual guys? Are you trying to change her sexual preference to something you approve of?

Basically, on the one hand you are saying that your sexual preference is based on biology, using that as a defence against what she says; then you say she should change her sexual preferences. That's unfair and very contradictory.

I think he was arguing with her regarding her 'nobody is born gay' comment.

I don't know either individual in this case. But, I would have to say move on, Asguard. It's gotta be tough to lose the one you love, but you weren't honest with her, and you have to accept her decision. And, like others have said, you'll eventually find someone who's ok with your sexuality...just make sure you don't hide anything next time, or you'll be heading down the same path. Lay all of your cards out on the table, and the next time someone accepts you as you are, you'll be happy.

Hang on Asguard... You say it's a proven scientific fact that sexual preference is determined before 5 years of age? I was under the impression it is determined in early adolescence
early adolescence.. as in.. pre-teen years? ill have to disagree. first girl/girl expirience: age 8.......
first girl i ever seduced...;)

But asguard, you may find it easier to be in a relationship with someone else who is bi. they will be more understanding. if you are with a straight girl, and you try to explain to her that you are attracted to other guys, she will want to know why she isn't supposed to be... but if you are with a bi girl, and you are attracted to other guys, she wont be as.. alarmed... because she is attracted to other girls, and she will understand much better.

*Xev pokes her head in to yell*

Agree with Nightfall. My first "sexual experience" with another female was in fourth grade.

I don't think sexuality is ever fully formed. I know that certain of my attitudes towards sex have remained constant from a rather young age.

Now, Anth, forget her. If she's unwilling to be a friend 'cause you're bi, she isn't worth being friends with. If she's unwilling to be a girlfriend because you're bi, she's not going to change and there's nothing for you to do.

Agree with Nightfall. My first "sexual experience" with another female was in fourth grade.
-raises an eyebrow-.. ?!?!?! is your name amanda??? lmao

Not unless you're a Pakistani immigrant, Nightfall. :)

nope, i think ill just stick to being a red haired greeneyed american. lol:eek:

Agree with the women. First ever experience was 9 (witha girl BTW). Many experiences with different girls up till 16/17.
First (and only) experience with a lad (best mate)- 17. If shes reacted so hostile ant maybe we should question why!!! :bugeye: I could understand it more if she just wasnt comfortable but to be so 'anti-' it!? :bugeye:

Much is being said around Ant's supposed dishonesty, yet he plainly states in a previous post that as soon as he knew.. she knew.
The amount of confusion sexuality puts us thru is phenominal.
If this thread proves anything it's the old saying

Eaten bread is soon forgotten.

Anyone who sailed thru adolescence and the formation of sexuality is lucky. Not everyone does.
Ant's first post indicated that he wasn't sure until he was sure.
That has to be the right time.
Give the guy a break

And Ant... Before you decide it's all too much, let me refer you to the last line of my Sig'

Fuck anyone who wants to fuck you, and in the end, fuck em all!! :D