[Tell me what you guys think of this.. I need review]. I drank from the dreamtime well and sank back softly down into oblivion Dreaming dreams of quiet war Hand over heart I stood to say goodbye And dreamt my way right out the door I spoke soft words to the dreamtime apparition of days Hoping he would have the answer to my rime He said nothing and fear into me crept then Hoping his company was not the end of my time— Stars and sun traded places in the panorama up above as I sailed away Into the apparition’s arms ashore He kept me there as I parted from the flesh, my flesh And the man I was, was now no more Onward we went through the blazing blue sea Sailing away, sailing away Onward to the ocean’s end Outward, stretching into the sound Those shores were green and blue Most befitting of all men’s praise Here, when the apparition comes for you Will we finally meet at the end of days—
The word "rime" is spelled rhyme. otherwise it isn't to bad but somewhat obscure in the ending two stanzas. Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
Cosmictraveler, I was and am very well aware of this. Also.. The word 'to' is misused and should really be spelled 'too'. Yee.
