I'm your God

Discussion in 'Religion Archives' started by shedevilx, Jul 17, 2008.

  1. John99 Banned Banned

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    :scratchin:
     
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  3. Reiku Banned Banned

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    Think harder, my friend.
     
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  5. Reiku Banned Banned

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    Please... do not read into this too deeply... honestly;.....
     
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  7. shedevilx Registered Senior Member

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    i knew it would not be easy, my loved brothers and sisters to win your trust, especially in todays hoaxed society, when everybody is loosing their believes and senses..

    but I'm here, ask me anything, i will give you the real Fathers answer, my dear loved brothers and sisters
     
  8. PsychoticEpisode It is very dry in here today Valued Senior Member

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    Hey , I know.

    Thanks...God
     
  9. John99 Banned Banned

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    I have a question:

    What do you smell like?
     
  10. shedevilx Registered Senior Member

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    thanks my brother for your question

    i just smelled my self- i smell sweet and soft- like baby smell, thought my different parts of the body can produce stronger or lower levels of smells- i am all smelly- i must say..but all- sweet
     
  11. clusteringflux Version 1. OH! Valued Senior Member

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    "You're not Santa!! You smell like beef and cheese!"

    -Buddy the Elf
     
  12. Simon Anders Valued Senior Member

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    This is my favorite part
    kind of like ee. cummings. 'loosing' - some process similar to loosening I suppose - their believes - the verb form used as a plural noun. Classic.
     
  13. shedevilx Registered Senior Member

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    you are upsetting me people, you know our original language wasn't English, i was trying hard to learn it for this mission.., i did it in 77 hours..

    at least this time my mission is so much easier- i can just communicate with all online, it is very dangerous yet for me to show-up in the media, so many disbelievers..
     
  14. PsychoticEpisode It is very dry in here today Valued Senior Member

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    Surely my son, this has been seen before....

    Sadly, this is an obvious misinterpretation of Hebrew, Arabic and other middle eastern tongues. Surely you know that words similar to this are occasionally mistranslated. It has been a constant labor of love for linguists and Biblical scholars to make sure the Bible, and now Jesus in this instance, is not misunderstood by the mere typing or verbalizing of the word. Your infantile attempt at ridiculing Jesus will not hold you in good stead. I have instructed the bookkeepers to etch a red mark in your book of life, sorry...no I'm not!...God
     
  15. shedevilx Registered Senior Member

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    Thank you, my Father, I'm glad you came here to speak trough PsychoticEpisode's skin, i though you did not wanted them to see that you are watching??

    My bad, i must admit, this is a very unusual circumstances for me to start my mission in todays technological world but I'm trying to learn and adapt as quickest, as i can..

    Jesus
     
  16. PsychoticEpisode It is very dry in here today Valued Senior Member

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    No problem kid.

    Do you still want to borrow the Popemobile? Keys are at The Ducks Nuts in Newcastle, Australia. The real pope is staying there.
     
  17. Vkothii Banned Banned

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    If you are Jesus, who was that dude I was talking to yesterday?
     
  18. shedevilx Registered Senior Member

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    my Brother Vkothii, have you spoke to someone , called Jesus last night ?

    I'm only real Jesus- no one else, what was your name/date of birth and concern? i will check it in my books, i had 157 requests last night

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    i wouldn't mind if my Father would decide to extend our family, so i could have a little administration help this time, Father ???

    Get this pop out of pope-mobile, we will be cleaning off all unholy priests in this mission too

    Jesus
     
    Last edited: Jul 17, 2008
  19. PsychoticEpisode It is very dry in here today Valued Senior Member

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    From Father to Son: Remember what I had to do last time? Well something's come up that is very similar. I was just checking the Sin-o-meter and it has spiked. Unfortunately the bill is now due. So I'm afraid you're in for a bit of a rough time in the next little while. Don't worry though, once everything comes down you'll be back up here in 3 days. No thorns, spears or crosses this time, I promise. How much do you know about the TASER and Canadian law enforcement?
     
  20. Simon Anders Valued Senior Member

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    You seem to be a diety with limited powers. English in 77 hours. You'd think God could do it in under 50. And now defensive protestations about the problems of translating certain ideas. Still any deity worth his stuff would know that believes is a verb. I mean you had 77 hours. Let me know if you come in contact with one of the head honchos. You must be an angel or something. And speaking about red marks....

    God is not going to take kindly to this charade.
     
  21. shedevilx Registered Senior Member

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    Simon Anders: you are blind- open your eyes- you can't even see who you are quoting.., the demons has invaded the bigger part of your sense - it's me-Jesus, who learned English in 77 Hours, we have decided on this number as it looks nice

    Rest, my brother..

    we will help you..

    either way..

    Jesus
     
  22. weed_eater_guy It ain't broke, don't fix it! Registered Senior Member

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    Jesus, I am in great need of an answer, it's been bothering me lately...

    Does god look like that thing on that one South Park episode? I mean, couldn't god look like a giant mecha or something cool?

    Also, has any lightning come dangerously close to hitting you lately?

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  23. shedevilx Registered Senior Member

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    God can take any appearance he likes, he does change often when comes out to the society, but normally he's just pretty busy managing all Ministry Affairs

    no, all lightings works fine in my Bungalow.., which is such a relieve, comparing to my latests missions uncomfortable circumstances

    Thanks my brother for the question

    Jesus
     

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