Do men find all other men a threat, when it comes to the woman they like? I was out with my best friend last night who is gay, a girl we both were good friends with in high school and her friend she met at college. Her friend obviously liked her and even though he knew my best friend was gay he still acted like he was a threat. This isn't the first example I've experienced. Do straight guys feel threatened by their girlfriend's gay male friends? Even though there isn't a logical reason to do so?
most straight guys cant believe another guy is gay when it comes to their woman. one simple reason is because a guy know what lengths another will go to to...thats been my experience.
it is that and they think they will change for a chance to be with their woman. plus they feel that their woman is getting too attached. it is jaelousy but some jaelousy is normal. what i do is put myself in the other persons shoes. if he was hanging around a lesbian and spendin a lot of time with them and perhaps in a personal way then i am sure most women would be concerned.
It seems like women have smaller boundaries with gay men. For example, some of the gay men I have met are prolific huggers and are energetic touch-and-feel kind of guys, which can be perceived as flirtatious behavior. I've noticed that women allow this behavior more with gay men than straight men because, well, they're gay. They're not interested. However, straight men see other men making such physical contact and they get jealous and uncomfortable. Then again, maybe that's just how I feel.
Hetersexual men can be a little territorial. And gay men can cross territorial boundaries without thinking about it. Thus some conflict can occur. If your boyfriend has any insecurities, expect them to be excerbated.
I was waiting for someone to say "insecurity". I gotta say, if a relationship is mutually understood to be monogamous, then it makes sense if someone is uncomfortable with their partner allowing frequent physical contact from another person. By physical contact, I mean affectionate or suggestive contact, not getting your clothing tailored or having someone brush against you on the subway.
Of course I don't find other men a threat, after I've beaten them with my club and run them while urinating on their back! How you ask such a silly question?
Well, for heterosexual men, it is really more of a weirdness factor and a tremendous sense of awkwardness when it comes to gay men. Heterosexual men simply cannot keep themselves from imagining themselves doing it with another guy, and this thought pops up into their heads everytime they are around gay men. This thought confuses and upsets them, so some of them prefer for gay people to remain MIA. It is not the automatic reaction that I blame heterosexual men for. I don't demand for heterosexual people to be all happy about gay people and seeing gay guys kissing each other. What I hold them responsible for is how they choose to express this reaction. There is a difference between a man who is uncomfortable around gay people and a man who behaves with discourtesy toward gay people. One I can sympathize with a little bit. The other...well, I can be judgemental then. I don't know what heterosexual men's reactions tend to be toward gay people, though, pertaining to their women.
I think its cultural. I know that heterosexual men in Thailand and Cambodia and even in some European countries do not have this awkwardness around homosexual men.
I am a heterosexual guy and I assure you I have no such thoughts...nor have I ever had them. They are pretty much unimaginable. But then I am not burdened worrying about homosexual men. It just means for females for me, and I cannot object to that.
So what are straight men afraid of exactly? I understand being jealous perhaps of the close relationship and the physical contact that comes with it. But how could anyone really interpret it as a threat?
Hey, Marie, did it even occur to you that that "gay" guy might just be "bi-sexual" instead of fully gay? And how would anyone know? Does the gay guy stand up and announce to the world that he's fully gay and not bi?? And why use the word "afraid"? Are you trying for something here or what? I don't see it as "fear" even if the male competition is completely hetero ...where does "fear" or "afraid" come into play? Baron Max
Another good point. When I said that women will allow more physical contact from gay men, because, well, they're gay... that's just what they believe. My girlfriend introduced me to a friend of hers who happens to be a gay man. He's an energetic touchy-feely kind of guy. She told me that (before I dated her) she kissed him on the lips just to see if he was really gay... and if not, well, it almost certainly would have gone further.
every man is a dog(turned on by loose women) theory. nice way to steer well clear of the men with morals and ethics(the hard to find good men) :roflmao: anywho cutsiemarie.... one thing i think that is the biggest issue is that men fear a gay male as a traitor to the bloke code where they lie and cheat and steal to try and get casual sex with a women. the straight "sheeple" man will think the gay male is giving the women the inside word and so will steer clear thinking his games and lies will be busted wide open and give him a rep for being the true player he is. also keeping in mind most men define sex by rape so being a gay male they expect the gay male to try and rape the other male instead of normally trying to rape the female. it makes them very nervous and insecure. match that with a feeling of having their games exposed and there you have it. merry Christmas :xctd: note for the women if you find a man who says "i hope he wont make a pass at me or i will smash him" or some such comment of that nature of defense from attack then you have found yourself a man who has not gained control of the inner rapist and cant be trusted to be alone with you. he does not respect you ! he will not stop trying to have sex with you ! he will not accept a verbal "NO" as an answer ! [/I]
Agreed, there is nothing logical to romance/dating/sexuality. However it is certainly steeped in culture. Also, its NOT o.k. for gay guys to feel up women! That shit is inappropriate and it perpetuates hatred.