Numbness

Discussion in 'About the Members' started by Thoreau, Aug 27, 2009.

  1. Thoreau Valued Senior Member

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    It's been 1 week and 1 day since my mother passed away.

    The first 2-3 days after her passing, I cried frequently.

    Since then I haven't been able to cry at all, even though at times I actually wanted to in order to feel "normal". I've gone completely numb and it's the numbness that is driving me crazy.

    I can't feel sad or happy... nothing. I can't smile, cry, laugh, frown; I feel like I lost my soul, so-to-speak. And I WANT to be able to feel emotions again. Hell, I don't even get road rage anymore. Nothing pisses me off and nothing makes me happy. What the hell is wrong with me?

    Is this common when you lose someone close?

    When my grandparents died, I cried frequently for years.

    But now, I can't shed a single tear for my mom who died so recently ago and I don't know why.

    I love(d) my mother incredibly. She was my greatest friend, soulmate, and teacher. We were so very close. So I don't understand why I can't cry after losing her.
     
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  3. Asguard Kiss my dark side Valued Senior Member

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    MZ3Boy84

    each of act differently to grief, there is no right or wrong answer to your question. Personally i cant cry when someone dies, not because im to "macho" to cry but rather because i become numb. In some ways it helps because i can still rationally funtion but at the same time i feel disasociated from whats happerning around me.

    Its not a pleasent feeling but it does pass, my grandfather died almost 2 years ago now, he was the only grandfather i had because mum's dad died before i turned 3 so i was quite close to him. Yet i stood there looking at his body and i could litterally feel nothing, not even my own body. My brother on the other hand gets openly upset
     
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  5. shorty_37 Go! Canada Go! Registered Senior Member

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    Your feelings will probably be all over the place for a while. Sometimes you will feel nothing at all, and sometimes you will tear up at the drop of a hat.

    It's going to take some time for everything to sink in.

    Take care and stop trying to analyze everything so much. Just take it as it comes.
     
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  7. Hercules Rockefeller Beatings will continue until morale improves. Moderator

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    Yes. Emotional numbness is a fairly common (normal) feature of the early phase of the grief cycle.

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  8. Japarican Registered Senior Member

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    Everyone mourns differently.
     
  9. Asguard Kiss my dark side Valued Senior Member

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    Hercules Rockefeller, that has recently been discredited because it assumes grief is a straight line which its not. People bounce around the "stages", for instance you may accept it one day and then be angry about it the next ect
     
  10. Hercules Rockefeller Beatings will continue until morale improves. Moderator

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    Yeah, it’s by no means an exact science. Such grief progression phases have as many detractors as they have supporters. The above graphic should not be taken as a factual certainty.

    But, having said that, I doubt anyone would argue that amongst the variability in people’s expressions of grief there aren’t many similar underlying themes. Emotional numbness is one of them. It seems like a fairly common response, the only questions being when it’s displayed in relation to the grief event, to what extent, and whether it is reoccurring (as you’ve alluded to).
     

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