If it don't kill you, it makes you stronger

Discussion in 'Free Thoughts' started by Kellisness, Mar 18, 2011.

  1. Kellisness Registered Senior Member

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    196
    I think that your experiences have benefitted you (that's not to say they were good but sometimes there's a silver lining as they say...you just need to see it). I say that as a compliment, I'm sure you know what I mean.
     
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  3. Dywyddyr Penguinaciously duckalicious. Valued Senior Member

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    You mean you assume it's not.

    And another assumption.

    Wrong.

    And another assumption.

    Project much?

    Good with that.
     
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  5. Kellisness Registered Senior Member

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    Ok dywydyr, you're the big man.
     
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  7. Dywyddyr Penguinaciously duckalicious. Valued Senior Member

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    And you're still missing the point.
     
  8. Kellisness Registered Senior Member

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    Whatever you say, champ.
     
  9. Rav Valued Senior Member

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    For the same reason I wouldn't say it to someone who was just raped, or parents who had just lost a child. One has to come to terms with the tragedy itself before they can begin to rebuild.
     
  10. Kellisness Registered Senior Member

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    196
    I agree, sometimes you need to allow time to pass first. But it's such a valuable message that it's good for them to become aware of it at some point. Some people never come to that realisation on their own unfortunately, and it's those people who need a reminder.
     
  11. Dywyddyr Penguinaciously duckalicious. Valued Senior Member

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  12. Kellisness Registered Senior Member

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    Strangely enough, that link won't open. Why don't you give me the gist of it.
     
  13. Dywyddyr Penguinaciously duckalicious. Valued Senior Member

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    It's Chimpkin's post 274 from this thread.
     
  14. Kellisness Registered Senior Member

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    Research has shown that effectively, with the right outlook (and sometimes even without, depending on the event) what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Ask Chimpkin to provide a link to what he has claimed (since there's no link to the research mentioned), then I'll post a link to what I'm claiming.
     
  15. visceral_instinct Monkey see, monkey denigrate Valued Senior Member

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    What doesn't destroy you CAN make you stronger...or it can damage you and necessitate long recovery.
     
  16. nietzschefan Thread Killer Valued Senior Member

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    I fixed this Nietzsche proverb long ago:

    It is now known as :

    "That which does not kill me, makes me stronger...or possibly maimed with syphilis"
     
  17. birch Valued Senior Member

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    5,077
    unbelievable.

    "what doesn't kill me, makes me stronger".

    that's too general. does being a burn victim but surviving make you stronger? nope. does a knee injury make a runner stronger? nope. does losing your legs in a car accident make you stronger? nope. does a car wreck so bad that you end up a vegetable make you stronger? of course not. but you did literally survive.

    usually there is just a combination of loss and gain. you sacrifice one for the other. usually you learn to develop or use other faculties when one is lost. these are for cases where one can still relatively function.

    what makes one stronger is 'some' level of stress to promote growth but not so much that actually something gets 'damaged'. but if it's too much, it can weaken you or damage you though you may survive. usually injuries will make you weaker and severe injuries could make you weaker for a lifetime. that's why we usually try to avoid them. whoever came up with this saying probably was just referring to one particular type of situation and applying it to all of them. this kind of saying reflects a rather harsh and inhumane point of view devoid of other considerations. there are a lot of sayings and wives tales, but they aren't all wise even if they have been passed down. some of them are profoundly reflective and some are not or even erroneous.

    every saying is meant to be taken with a grain of salt. there is just no way they are literally true or apply to all situations.
     
    Last edited: Mar 19, 2011
  18. chimpkin C'mon, get happy! Registered Senior Member

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    http://www.ptsd.va.gov/professional/pages/ptsd-physical-health.asp

    Here's a link to a blurb about the Putnam study...I read about the Putnam longitudinal study in a book about self-injury, and I can't seem to find online documentation of this offhand, but it was the Putnam study in which the higher white blood cell count was found in the victims versus the controls.

    http://www.cincinnatichildrens.org/svc/alpha/c/child-abuse/publications.htm

    I...think that it can be *good* to take the personal attitude that you are going to beat something...but if someone came along, slapped me heartily on the back, and said "Just remember, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger!" I guess I'd be making them stronger...because at that moment I'd be resisting the urge to throttle them...

    It comes off as minimizing what the person has suffered, that's what it does. You can't rush someone into being ready to move on.
     
  19. birch Valued Senior Member

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    this is all true. even from personal experience and observing others who have experienced trauma. it weakens your immune system, not strengthens it and causes a lot of other ailments.

    i suffered chronic stress and anxiety which weakened my immune system and i will never be the same or as healthy as i could have been. i also developed fibromyalgia.

    usually while going through trauma or high stress you are unaware of the damage because you are preoccupied or the constant adrenaline masks it. it's 'after' when things settle down that it all sets in. it wears and tears on your body. a doctor told me i have a body that is a lot older for my age. there are people thirty or even forty years older that feel younger than me in body. my body isn't even strong enough to withstand pregnancy. all this and i didn't even abuse drugs or alcohol. i drank alcohol for maybe a couple years and then tried a series of antidepressants.

    also women who suffer sexual trauma suffer more problems related to the abdominal area whether it be irritable bowel syndrome, cancer of the stomach/colon/ovaries as well as reproductive issues.
     
    Last edited: Mar 19, 2011
  20. wynn ˙ Valued Senior Member

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    "If it doesn't kill you, it makes you stronger".

    - I think this is a conflation of an instruction and an explanation, as is the case with so much popular wisdom.


    "If it doesn't kill you, it makes you stronger" is basically a short way of saying
    "1. It is possible to overcome hurt, 2. After being hurt, it is possible to become stronger in some important way, 3. Nothing stops you from overcoming hurt, 4. Do it!"
     
  21. Kennyc Registered Senior Member

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    993
    Makes the species stronger.
     
  22. wynn ˙ Valued Senior Member

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    Giving advice that will actually benefit the recipient is an art. It requires that one be wise, that one know the other person well, that there already exists a measure of mutual respect and trust, and that one chooses the appropriate time and place.


    "If it doesn't kill you, it makes you stronger" can be beneficial advice, among some people, in some situations.
     
  23. wynn ˙ Valued Senior Member

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    15,058
    Stronger to do what?
     

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