The very best advice you could ever get regarding how to deal with women: DON'T LISTEN TO ADAM! Seriously, the dude knows nothing about girls.
If its been two years go for it like pumpkin siad love is love, follow your heartPlease Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
my b/f dated his brothers girlfriend first. same situtation, nothing romantic or anything. they're still together now and have a kid. cute lil bugger too. Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! as long as there are no hard feelings. there is nothing wrong with it.
Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! THAT'S more like it.....because i think love is grossly over-exagrated, highly over-rated and nearly non-existent. and, any other "overly" adjectives you might want to contemplate... lust, however is a fine, fine fellow...Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
Fraggle Rocker i meant considering the variables i had presented in my situation.. to answer ur questions.. im 23 and she is 2 yrs younger than me... my bro is 2 yrs younger than me too... there isn't a mismatch in maturity levels... we get along fine, have been for the past six odd years... regarding the betrayal part... im planning to tell him as soon as he's back in town.. i dont want to do it over the phone.. its just too impersonal... and it would be better if i broke it to him rather than my parents or her... no one else knows right now for good reasons.. i pretty much agree with what you've said in your post... thanks for breakin it down the way you did...
thanks for your personal example nightfall.. even strgrl offered one.. its reassuring in a way that this is not an entirely ridiculous idea...
It’s apparent that you’re going to continue anyway. Are you here for justification or assurance that you’re doing the right thing? Stay in the relationship. Go to your brother. Tell him that you ended up dating that girl, and you think you may be falling in love with her. Even though you already know you are in love. Ask if he has any advice for you. Live happily ever after. I hope this is encouraging. Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
Cool Skill i donno wat ur trynna say... i said i agreed with you regarding the few points that you had made... i wasn't just lookin for assurance... i wanted to know how ppl on this board might deal with a situation like this... few ppl have broken it down well for me and its helped me to understand...
Back to the original subject matter... dude, just go for it. If your brother is mad, then just get your kink on and see if she is a multiply input girlPlease Register or Log in to view the hidden image! Heh, heh, heh.... No, but serioously, if you care that much about her, just tell your brother and see what he says. If he tells you "what the hell are you thinking?" You just say, "well, that's just life." If you and your brother really are getting closer, then it won't matter, and you two will eventually get back to being buddies. Just make sure you don't bring her around when your brother is there. All guys hate to see the ex with someone else. Know what I mean?
Re: Cool Skill I’m trying to say, sycoindian, that finding actual examples of people’s previous experience might give you more than just insight on how to handle it. Wouldn’t you be reassured also to see by these examples how quotidian your situation is?
yehh cool skill.. i can see that... i guess i vuz just bein a bit more paranoid about it... QII... yehh.. dont worry.. i dont plan on hangin out with her in front of my brother for a long time... that's just not cool... at least for now...
You seem very concerned that your brother will be upset by this. Why? Has he had other girlfriends in the meantime? Or do you suspect he's secretly carrying a torch for her? Has she had other boyfriends? Or might your brother suspect that he still has a chance? Did they part friends or is there some unresolved crap hanging around? If the last two years since they dated have been a fairly normal couple of years in the lives of three young people, I would assume that both of them consider their brief, chaste encounter to be ancient history and to have piled a lot of newer history on top of it all. It's unlikely that your brother will have no emotional reaction to this situation at all, but judging by your version of the tale, I can't imagine that he's going to make a very big deal out of it either. I'm tempted to suggest that you're being a little paranoid, but that's a tough call to make with only forum postings to work from. All I'll suggest is that you take a step backwards and look at the big picture. Do you see any reason to expect that your brother's reaction might be anything worse than surprise? As I said in my first posting, this kind of stuff really does go on ALL the time. People are routinely attracted to the siblings of people they used to date for the reasons I stated there. I have never seen or heard of a situation of this type turning ugly except on soap operas. I'm not going to tell you to ignore your gut feeling, but I will tell you to analyze it. Good luck
Go for it sycoindian! It seemEd to be that u are too anxious and fretful about ur brother. They have all made their points and if I were you, I better do something thaN leave myself forever with the thought "WHAT IF?" Really, if your brother is dating someone else at the moment or is in a relationship now, I don't think he should deprive you of your own happiness! He's your brother! I know you're close and all and u've been sharing things except this issue...well, no brother-brother/brother-sister/sister-sister relationship is perfect! We still manage to keep secrets about our personal lives in spite of the degree of closeness! For all you know, your brother might have an idea already! I mean, families can be so close they can read your actions that you don't have to tell them for them to know. BUT, in this case, you shouldn't assume...better respect your brother enough to tell him what's going on. If he doesn't like the idea...ask him why!!! If he still has feelings for her...check for the sincerity and decide for yourself! If he doesnt have any feelings for her anymore and yet doesnt want you to date her or have a relationship with her...you should ask yourself something...how deep is your brotherly love? We should desire the best for our loved ones! I hope things go well for you! Best regards!
Fraggle Rocker I know he's gonna find it unusual... might be a lil upset... he has had other brief relationships after that... i dont think he's carryin a torch for her... he did continue to like her for a couplea weeks after they broke up, but then he didnt really care... he didnt expect them to get back, especially after not remainin in much contact over the past yr n half... no unresolved issues... i think im bein a bit paranoid too... Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! thanks... i've been workin it from almost every angle that i can think of in the past few days... this thread has def helped...
you knoww.. u've given me the hardest time here outta everyone, but i've come to appreciate your skepticism and blunt remarks... we always hung out, its a lil diff now cuz we like each other... im just waitin for my bro to come back to town.. ten more days.. and then its out in the open and we can get on with it...
Gladzic thanks for your comments... he's not in town right now so i dont think he would have an idea.. no one knows as yet in our friend circle.. so i dont expect anyone to leak it to him before i do... can't wait to get this thing resolved..
Man...somewhere in the world is somebody who doesn't even have what you have. From a non biased standpoint I'd say to go for it. Honestly, who the hell likes to really look back and always wonder "what if"? Your brother is your brother, nothing will ever change that. Love is love, it's pretty universal until that damn annoying thing called "the mind" gets ahold of it and twists it into something gross. Like a gun. Set it off and nothing good can really come from it. I think the only problem here is wonder. My gramps told me, don't wonder, think. Of course, gramps was always kinda odd in his ways :bugeye: And it might contradict what i mentioned above about the mind. So here's a question, what's "worth" anything to you? To each his own Thy Will be done :m: :m: :m:
