Aphorisms, And Observations, By Ed Vaile, “ You’re Only As Smart, As A Google Bar Away “ " Through Faith, One Gains Eternal Hope " " Never Under Estimate, The Power Of Conviction " " Hate, Spite, Envy, Greed, Sloth, And Deceit, Are The Foundation Of Misfortune " " The Key To Good Health, Is A Healthy Ration Of Hard Labor " " A Women’s Greatest Ally, Is Her Vanity " " That Which Is Easily Attainable, Often Bares Little Value " " If You Don't Make A Mess, You Don't Have To Clean It Up " " You Don't Know How Good You've Got It, Until You've Got It Worse" " Beware Of The Future, Nature Demands Justice Be Served " " No Amount Of Wealth, Can Buy You Good Health " " Say What you Mean, And Mean What You Say " " In Natures Eyes, We Are But Thieves, Clean Air, And Water, Our Bounty " " Lose Tract Of Your Physical Fitness, A Physician Will Soon Bare Witness " " A Man Without Principals, Is A Man Without Honor " " All The Intellectuality In The World, Can't Replace Good Common Sense " " A Little Praise, Goes A Long Ways " " Rhetoric, Is The Preachers Salvation " " Politicians, Say What They Would Like To Mean, And Promise What They Can't Keep " " Love Is What You Make It " " Good Business Sense, Means Good Common Sense " " If You Can't Learn From Your Mistakes, Learn From Those Of Others " " Good Lighting Is Everything " " Greed Will Be The Fall Of Humanity, For Nature Has No Emotion " " If You Don't Stay Ahead Of Your Work, Your Work Will Get Ahead Of You " " Sobriety Is For The Valiant " " It's Not Charity, If It's Preformed With Expectations Of Retribution " " Delusion, Is The Seat Of Happiness " " The Domestication Of Humanity, Purged It From The Ranks Of Nature, It's Called Civilization " " Unlike Nature, Human Emotion Allows Humanitarianism; To Proceed Logic " " Wisdom Is A Combination, Of Maturity, Age, Experience, Patience, And Discipline " " Principals, Are The Building Blocks Of Good Moral Character " " A Wise Man Takes His Loses In Stride, And In Perspective " " Your Word Is Your Bond " " Honor Thy Father, But Worship Thy Mother " " The Spoiled, Are The Thankless " " He Who Gives Of Himself, Shall Receive Of Others " " The Wind Blows, Which Ever Way You Don't Want It To " " Rationalization, Is The Product Of Maturity " " He Who Finds Amusement In Others Misfortunes, Shall Soon Find Misfortune Itself " " Your Friends, Are Those Who Love You " " A Mans Success, Is Not Measured Buy His Monetary Income " " The Less Said About A Lie, The Better " " True Love, Is Unconditional " " If You're Sure You Can't, You Won't " " The Hardest Thing In The World To Do, Is Practice What You Preach " " Theology Is Non Existent, In The Mind Of Science " " There Is A Fine Line Between Flattery, And Patronization " “ There Is No Beginning, And There Is No End, Only Constant Change “ “ Wit, Is A Combination Of Deductive, And Rationalizational Skills “ “ Our Biggest Problem Is, We Take So Much For Granted “ “ Respect Is Earned, Not Given “ “ Drink And Delusion, Go Hand In Hand “ “ Can You Imagine How Bad, Good Would Be, If There Was No Bad “ “ Want To Be Productive, Pay Attention To Your Work “ “ They Say Talk Is Cheap, But My Mouth Sure Costs Me A lot “ “ If You’re Real Smart, You’re Heart Smart “ “ The Harder You Work, The Stronger You Get “ “ There’s Head Work, And There’s Heart Work “ “ Fashion, Spreads Like Wildfire “ “ Food Comes Before Pride “ “ Always Give A Man Credit, Where Credit Is Due “ “ A Good Boss Has Patience, Finesse, And Tact “ “ Common Sense Occurs, When Rationalization Out Weighs Delusion “ “ The Answers To Creation. And Existence, Are At Present Beyond Human Capacity “ “Sincerity, Is given Little Consideration In Modern Society “ “ Cut And Dried, Things Seldom Are “ “ You Have A Choice To Make In Life, Science Or Theology “ “ For Instant Fool, Just Add Alcohol “ “ Most Of Us Would Complain, No Matter How Good We’ve Got It “ “ Flowers To A Woman, Are The Salt Of The Earth “ “ What Would Be A Hand Me Down To One Fellow, Is A Family Heir Loom To Another “ “ Be Aware Of Your Priorities, Without Your Health, You Have Nothing “ “ If Anything; We’re The Source Of Someone’s Amusement “ “ The Greatest Sin Against God, Is Obesity “ “ A Happy Crew, Is A Snappy Crew” “ Nature Is God, And God Alone “ “ A Mistake Is Something That Someone Else Catches, A Correction Is Something You Catch Yourself “ “ There Are Two Kinds Of Lies, Intentional, And Unintentional “ “ Never Ask For Something Given, to Be Returned, Or Return Something, That Has Been Given “ “ Expecting The Average Individual To Keep His Word, Is Like Expecting A Prostitute To Keep Her Virginity “ “ No Amount Of Logic, Can Un-cloud Those Devout “ “ Emotional Security, Comes With Maturity “ “ Have You Earned Your Food Today, Have You Burned Your Food Today “ “ Time Isn’t Constant, The Older You Get, The Faster It Goes “ “ I’m The First One To Give Advise, And The Last One To Take It “ “ You Can Have Anything, You Don’t Want “ “ Without Problems, There Are No Resolutions “ ” Inflation Is The Product, Of An Unproductive Workforce “ “ No Amount Of Money Can Mend A Damaged Reputation “ “ Beware Of Counterproductive Rationalization “ “ It’s June, In Mosquito Lagoon, And There’s No Mosquitoes “ “ You Don’t Have To Be Fat To Be Lazy, But You’ve Got To Be Lazy To Be Fat “ “ Nature Works On Logic, Humans Work On Emotion “ “ Western Man, Wants So Much, To Do So Little “ “ War Is A Business “ “ To Think That Your Religion, Is The Only Right One, Would Be Ludicrous “ “ Hormones, And Emotions, Are Very Powerful Things “ “ When You Domesticate A Species, One Must Institute Selective Breeding, Or Highly Unsuitable Results, Will Eventually Occur, Humans are No Exception “ “ You Only See, What You Want To See “ “ Sloth, Is Inherent To Domestication “ “ Trying To Live Life, Without A Crutch Like Religion, Is A Very Difficult Task “ “ Poor Humans… Governed By Morality Instead Of Logic “ “ One Of The Most Important Things In Life, Is To Do What You Say Your Going To Do, When You Say Your Going To Do It “ “ There’s Two Things You Can Lose, And Never Know The Difference, Your Mind, And Your Life “ “ Empathy, Or Apathy, That Is The Question “ “ Happiness, Is Relative “ “ Obesity, Is Proof Of Sloth “ “ Forgive, Lest Ye Be Un-forgiven” “ Everyone Wants To Be Friends, With A Good Listener” “ They Let Just Anybody Make Babies, And then They Let’em Vote “ “ Envy Runs Deep, In Those With A Shallow Mind “ “ Before Making The Smallest Decisions In Life, Ask Yourself What Do You Have To Gain “ “ Reasonable Eugenics, Is The Salvation Of Humanity “
Entertaining, odd commas notwithstanding. Are you going for a position or testing a premise for the soon to be book "Ed Vaile's Impudent Aphorisms"? Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! Oh, welcome to Sciforums.
It was intentional several years ago, just left it that way, since I'm going for DBS in a few months, I haven't changed it, sorry for the inconvenience, you're both hilarious by the way, Ed
Sanity is a veil the gods pull over our eyes to prevent us from seeing the truth. (Xena, Warrior Princess) Let us read, and let us dance; these two amusements will never do any harm to the world. (Voltaire) There still are fairy tales. They just happen in lands far, far away, like the United States. You have to go there to live them. (Kebede Selassie, wife of Prince-in-exile Ermias Sahle Selassie of Ethiopia, living the happy suburban life of her dreams in Alexandria, Virginia)
First I would like to say, many of these I wrote 20 years ago, and they're not all in chronological order, and also I would like to apologize to anyone I have offended, through a continuation of my studies I have found that there is no such thing as lazy, and that we are all slaves to our metabolisms, hormones, and emotions, as an evolutionarily domesticated species, much like livestock,which is forced, we are no longer subject to natural selection, (survival of the fittest), the only thing our physical being must fear is famine, so in order to store fuel in case of this occurrence, our genetic structure, (without selective breeding), tends more and more towards an endomorphic metabolism as every specimen reproduces, for in a time of famine the strong shall perish, and those with extra fuel, (excess adipose tissue), shall survive! one look around at the supermarket, and it is apparent there are a lot of survivors, the answers are obvious, but with 84% of the population obese, I realize my words are falling on deaf ears, same said is the cause of our world economic problem, for being slaves to such a metabolism will only allow them to burn what fuel is absolutely necessary! not productive to say the least, Ed
Not so fast there. The human forebrain is about four times larger (in proportion to our body size) than our closest cousins the chimpanzees and gorillas. We (and perhaps a few other species such as the cetaceans) are the only mammals whose forebrains contain significantly more tissue than our more primitive midbrains and hindbrains combined, but in our species the difference is overwhelming. This overbalance gives our species the unique ability to routinely override instinctive behavior with reasoned and learned behavior. In fact our entire history, going back a couple of million years to our ancestral species, is a continuing story of the triumph of conscious, rational thought over "metabolisms, hormones and instincts." We have reprogrammed ourselves from a pack-social species (small extended-family groups in which each member has cared for and depended on every other member since birth) to a herd-social species (anonymous strangers living in harmony and cooperation for the good of the community). We overcame our nomadic instinct and began building permanent homes. We overcame our hunter-gatherer instinct and learned to cultivate food plants and herd food animals--these days most of us buy processed food whose creation we didn't participate in at all. We overcame our fear of predators; many of you have one sleeping at your feet right now and you trust him to protect your children. We are no longer slaves to our inner nature. Of course our Inner Caveman is still there and occasionally we have to mollify him with football games and motorcycle rides, but most of the time we just bribe him with pizza, air conditioning and rock'n'roll. Occasionally he lashes out but usually he hangs onto his senses and doesn't do any permanent damage to anything or anyone, although out of billions of humans there are a few million in prison who let their Inner Caveman get the better of them. And of course occasionally an entire nation is taken over by Inner Cavemen and we have wars. But over the millennia, our forebrains have triumphed over our inner nature and civiization has advanced steadily, if not monotonically. The first two steps in Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs are survival and security. Our "physical being" needs food, but also oxygen and protection from the elements, predators, infections, accidents, and the dangers of modern life such as electrocution and auto crashes. This was one of the first transcendences over our own internal nature that we had to accomplish on the road to civilization. The Agricultural Revolution, which ushered in the Neolithic Era with its permanent villages, cultivated crops and domesticated animals, created the first food surplus in the history of the planet. The first result of this was that tribes no longer had to regard each other as hated and feared competitors for scarce food resources. On the contrary they needed to learn to join together in larger communities, because the division of labor and economies of scale made possible by a larger community increase the productivity of agriculture. This makes the food surplus even larger, making survival even more certain and also freeing a few of the people for activities that have nothing to do with survival, such as: inventing roofs and windows, discovering the technology of pottery, training some of the food animals to carry loads and drag plows, and becoming better singers, artists and poets. It also eliminated the need to gorge whenever food was available, in order to be prepared for an unsuccesful hunt or a lean year. We still have the instinct to gorge when presented with a mountain of food, yet we have learned not to start ripping open packages and eating to the point that we can't move, every time we walk into a supermarket. In times of stress, sometimes we shut down our civilized processes and let our Inner Caveman take control because he makes life seem so simple. No elections, no mortgages, no schools, no meetings. He looks around and sees a bounty of food that no one in his era could have imagined, even at the Summer Festival. So he eats, "knowing" that one day there will be a famine and only those with extra fat on their bodies will survive. Our entire country is under stress right now, as we helplessly watch our supposedly wise leaders squabble like weasels on amphetamine, see the people who run our economy quietly ship all of our jobs off to China, read about our military spending trillions of dollars to destroy countries that haven't done anything to us and were our allies not so long ago, and listen to our religious leaders ignore all this and dredge up arguments that were settled in the 1960s. So it's no wonder that we sink back into our chairs and turn control over to the Inner Caveman.
