What is the most evil astrological sign ?

Discussion in 'About the Members' started by Enmos, Mar 4, 2009.

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What astrological sign are you ?

  1. Aries (March 21 — April 19)

    2.6%
  2. Taurus (April 20 — May 20)

    12.8%
  3. Gemini (May 21 — June 21)

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  4. Cancer (June 22 — July 22)

    7.7%
  5. Leo (July 23 — August 22)

    2.6%
  6. Virgo (August 23 — September 22)

    7.7%
  7. Libra (September 23 — October 23)

    7.7%
  8. Scorpio (October 24 — November 21)

    15.4%
  9. Sagittarius (November 22 — December 21)

    5.1%
  10. Capricorn (December 22 — January 19)

    15.4%
  11. Aquarius (January 20 — February 19)

    20.5%
  12. Pisces (February 20 — March 20)

    2.6%
  1. birch Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    5,077
    there is a saying in astrology which applies to everyone and that is we all have light and dark within us but what we choose to act on is what determines who we are. i have not seen a chart that did not have some or some source of light whether it be manushya or deva, even with those who were mostly rakshasa. actually some rakshasa in your chart is necessary in this world, otherwise you would be a complete victim and have no fight or defense at all. this place is not heaven. but it's how you use your chart and energies and for what purpose that determines what you are.

    even when i was at my lowest, i did not seek out others to exploit for their energy as my abusers did. yes, people shared their light with me just being around me at times but i did not view that as an opportunity to exploit them. i started with the seed that i had and little light i had left and regrew it again within myself, over time, even though it was a difficult and long road. that is why we are considered the advanced souls denoted by mercury trine uranus. the trine is the most wise in this configuration. if you keep stealing others energy and it runs out because it eventually will, you have to keep stealing and vampiring from others and you are not genuine but an impostor of light.

    the ignorance is that we all have that divine seed or light within us and you just have to act on the light and good (sow and reap). why would you want to be anything other than your unique self? people ignore what they have and assume another has what they don't and act from envy and jealousy. this is not true. it may be different but each snowflake is beautiful in it's own right, if you choose to do the inner work. the problem with cheaters is they see someone that is ahead in the game and would rather undermine or steal from them instead of looking inward and starting from where they are at whether it's character growth or outward status. people who are ahead of the game (the right way if you are ethical) is an example and inspiration that its possible, not to bring down. that's the difference. one would be much more genuine when you practice inner self-reliance and start from that premise instead of pretending to be someone they are not.

    that said, it's not that simple in this dualistic world. you have to play your cards right all the time and that includes the fact even devas that incarnate can eventually be corrupted by their own choices as well as by others tainting them. they can also be tempted to take advantage or exploit as well.

    it's not always your doing or actions that affect you so there are a lot of variables to consider in this game. others can reap what you sow as well. this is a dangerous and unfair world. life is a test and ultimately it's a test of your character, more than anyting else. who are you really? what are your values? what do you want to perpetuate in the world?
     
    Last edited: Feb 18, 2018
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  3. birch Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    5,077
    there is some really interesting aspects to this synastry with this proverbial guy, deeper the investigation. you have to consider that my exact time/location of birth is what makes these contacts possible, not just the date which means not everyone with this birthdate will have as strong a synchronicity. something about one of his aspect denotes dying tragically in your early teens or twenties just like mine in the last past life which is the reason for the (young at heart) placement, in my chart as well. now, you have to consider, that you can have all these aspects without that qualifier as well, which makes the synchronicity of a past first love even more in alignment (theoretically/metaphysically).

    now, i would not get involved with this person even if it were physically possible because of some of the negative synastry as there is poison in there as well. as for the valentines on unconditional love to neturalize it is theoretical to me since i've never had that synastry with anyone, so i have no experience to say if that is true. but still, this is not even a synastry that could work at this time because it's past the time it could even play out. some synastries must play out at certain times in your life as they fit at that time, not another. but that poison does not come from the younger (late teens/early twenties) energy of him but the older male as if it's piggy-backing on the younger. the darker energies piggy-back off the good ones, not the other way around. so you would expect conventionally that the younger part is depending on the older but it's really the other way around because that is the most evolved and beautiful aspect of the personality. it's used to attract others to him.

    also, he is artistic just like my north node and venus/neptune but he does not have those signatures there or planetary. his planetary aspects is about how to manuever in the physical world. however, he understands my feelings of not being a part of this world or misfit very well because of his many sedna connections. his mercury, venus and jupiter conjunct sedna. that is strong otherworldly vibes. this is the strongest connection between our charts. mine is in saturn and that indicates strongly i did not want to incarnate, especially since it's in the 12th house. besides my ic conjunct my own saturn which is another double dose of that to drive that realization home to me.

    besides this, he has industrial strength psychic powers as his mercury, venus and jupiter also conjunct his pallas, with the jupiter/pallas being the most far-reaching astrally. these are very spiritual placements and powerful.

    but the thing that is eerie to me is, i checked if there was a transit going on right now either in my chart (which it wasn't) or his. before i even clicked, i took a breath and already knew there was a transit hitting his right now and it ends in march/2018, next month. i'm honing and developing my psychic and intuitive abilities even more. what this indicates in astrology is that it was not coincidence that i have noticed this type of chart/synastry at this time strongly and theoretically this chart is reaching out to work out karma at this time as this transit specifically indicates being open to unusual and unconventional means of communication/connection.

    coincidence? perhaps but also, maybe not. that said, i don't think he was the actual one from a past life. i think his chart has very similar energy patterns that make the connection is all. i don't think my true other half is even here. when i had a reading done on my true other half, the death card showed up and the chariot reversed which indicates death from a car accident in this combo, so i could never meet this person. i didn't like this answer so i asked another reader and the first card again showed up as death card again but she put a positive spin on it that we would meet before my death but i already knew that she was trying to soften the blow and the first reading was correct. that's even indicated in vedic by my scorpio in neptune as that is the literal interpretation as well and that is losing your true love by early death and all others will be a mismatch or less fulfilling in this life. again, pattern. vedic astrology is much more in-depth with predictions and pulls no punches and tends to be more accurate in that regard.

    also, the vision of my soulmate was very similar to this guy when he was younger in some ways but not exactly him. actually, i think my original soulmate was more fact-oriented to balance me or that's the impression that i got and extremely intelligent but still intuitive/artistic. but so is this guy, in some ways, more than me. in other words, he knows how to manuever in this world way better than i do. it showed the 'impeccable' perfectionistic/high standards card for both which is another similarity, between these two. again, that has been the problem with me this whole life is my low self-esteem not believing that my soulmate could be this way because of how much degradation and abuse i've endured, that i've felt like shit all my life, that no one really of quality could love me or be my match. i've always underestimated that continually.

    once i had a reading long ago asking about my true soulmate and all the aces showed up in a row and she said that he could reach google status. i asked her what do you mean he could? when could i meet him? and she said there was no answer for that question at the time. now, it shows the death card but astrally that he is watching/protecting me in some way. to that, i said that's a shitty job he's done then but i had to consider that astrally he could only do so much and he was younger at the time as well when i went through the worst.

    it's like my chart is cursed and it's extremely sad/tragic.
     
    Last edited: Feb 19, 2018
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  5. birch Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    5,077
    http://dmastro.com/blog/pallas-athene-in-taurus-transit-till-march-2018-cos-youre-worth-it/

    http://rubyslipper.ca/ruby-slipper-astrology/2017/6/pallas-enters-taurus

    pallas is also transiting the sign of taurus until next month. this is why it's hitting that chart's jupiter and pallas making astral travel and communication even more pronounced at this time. when transits occur which activate your psychic aspects (because there are all types of other transits, some quite negative), these are aha or revelatory moments for you and those you are in chart synchronicity with.

    how the fuk did i know this before i even looked it up? i amaze myself sometimes.

    also, my eris in aries is conjunct my ascendant and is also in the 12th house. his moon, eris and lilith in aries hits all my sensitive points including my east point/vertex. his pluto also hits my vertex.

    the moon/mercury/venus/eris/eros and lilith hitting my vertex and ascendant create a magnetic connection to my chart so i was bound to notice him, especially more so at this time and for good reason once i checked the chart. his pallas conjunct jupiter is activated strongly at this time. theoretically, in person (not now but in the past), had we been in physical presence, we would both remind each-other either of someone we knew before in this life (depending on his particular experience of his first love) or in a past life. of course, you don't say those thoughts unless you are like me (lol). it creates that type of chemistry, even if it isn't necessarily factual. we both have eris (not eros) in aries. eris is about individualism and self-actualization. there is a strong camaraderie and identification with eachother on a deep level per this chart.

    aries and sedna is what is the real connection here. neither one of us has sun in aries which is a different flavor than in other houses. actually sun in aries is not that strong as in other houses. aries in (his) moon, (mine) vertex, (his) lilith or (mine) ascendant is unrelenting and sedna is out of this world/pinnacle type of lofty ambition. but my ascendant is on exact cusp so it attracts both aries/taurus aspects. we either want to go big or not at all. his south node in taurus which understands the meaning of providing a fine lifestyle is right up my alley (secretly). i would see this type as my true soul type, not second best choice or compromise. living poor is not my idea of a good time or some sign of better character but neither is disgusting decadence, because balance and excellence is more important. if i had to choose between the two, i would go ascetic or miminalist because ultimately it's about reaching and refining higher standards toward infinity.

    it's either full force or give up with aries. when aries gives up, it gives up tragically/totally and pitifully. we can epitomize both the word winner or loser to it's fullest degree. there are no half-measures either way. secretly, we are similar on a soul level.

    aries especially does not care about anything beyond first or second place. there was that scene in alien 2 where bishop says that if he can't be top of the line, then he would rather be nothing. i totally understand that sentiment. lol

    we also have very high standards, especially for ourselves. we don't like weak people and weakness in ourselves. and if we fail, we'd also rather be alone. i've noticed that is the noble aspect of this personality type is that i wouldn't want to be with me as a failure so why the fuk would i expect someone else to? i've noticed not everyone thinks this way. there are loser men out there who think they deserve anyone when they aren't together or have anything really of quality to offer. if you can't bring the best to your mate, then it's not worth it, for either one; especially if they are soulmates and respect each-other because they want the best for themselves and each-other. we wouldn't want the other to accept second best, even if it's us, because then we would lose respect. this is where the respect, similarity and identification comes in. get it? it's like try another time then. game over this round.

    on a soul level, we understand the meaning of high standards and quality. we want the best or not at all. yes, inwardly and in our heart of hearts, we are goddamn vain and would not have it any other way. we can nurse our own wounds and egos by ourselves. lmao

    this little fishy didn't make it in the salmon run. we can accept failure on it's face and our self-loathing for what the fuk it is. when we lose, we aren't deluded that we aren't losers in the game and don't want ribbons for failure as that's patronizing. that's for real losers to delude themselves they are still okay. yes, we are vain as hell but i love it. lol
     
    Last edited: Feb 19, 2018
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  7. birch Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    5,077
    gross. his saturn conjunct my liith. he would be oppressive.


    eris conjunct eris. not interested. don't have the energy for this battle or any battle anymore. lol

    this one is beautiful and healing. he would nurture the part of my female side that feels the most outcast and damaged from abuse. that and his venus trine my pluto is the further romantic theme of that.

    i knew there was something so nurturing and beautiful i saw in him. but that's the problem. people have different aspects/parts of their personality so many times it's about the connections that happen for a moment to love and heal. but you must move on after that, otherwise the toxic aspects will also play a part.

    it's similar to where a loving mother is trying to intervene when an abusive father is hurting her child but those parts exist in one entity as well. that saturn/lilith and on my ic represents the abusive patriarch, so cannot pass go.

    this is why i noticed as he makes that chemistry with my chart of dw moon trine venus and in the composite again: moon trine venus. prince charming to the max.


    Supposedly, I have the chart of a player because i have three houses in the fifth and venus in leo which rules the fifth house and is deposited there where it is most strong. this means, i can do romance like no other. but again, variables need to be taken into account as that modifies the general consensus or usual. i am not into flings because my placements/resonances/aspects which are really about my true love. this placement, for me, just means that the relationship i do have with my chosen will be infused with romance and fun to keep it fresh.

    As a matter of fact, i've noticed many people who have claimed they love everyone. how special is that? i know deep down i really haven't because there is a difference between levels of love and the 'one' or love of your life. some have found it but i've noticed many generalistic hearts without this placement. it could also be different for a male as well or more likely to be a player if a male.
     
    Last edited: Feb 19, 2018
  8. birch Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    5,077
    for instance, this aspect and her interpretation i disagree with. people with this aspect including mars/jupiter tend to have over the top sexual insatiability/drive. jupiter is going big or excess. they can also be very overly self-indulgent as well as careless. for those un-evolved with this aspect, tend to have megalomaniac type personalities. they don't exude love as much as superficial jolliness at it's most un-evolved and general positivity/outlook/growth as it's most evolved but love is not necessarily a part of it.
     
  9. birch Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    5,077
    astrology is so funny to me because it's so damn accurate and i don't know how these ingenious people find this stuff out. lmao

    i know some of them because of experience and that is why i know that there is a pattern to these aspects but all of them? lol. it's also based on asteroids. for instance, moon conjunct pallas is a strong psychic connection. this particular aspect can make you feel they are reading your mind literally as well as they've got hooks into it. there are other psychic or telepathic aspects but they all have a different flavor. you wouldn't think that is accurate but just a guess but it is not. it's spot-on dead accurate, down to the nuance and differences between them. and with someone you don't like, it's invasive and dangerous. connections don't exist with just those who have your best interests. you can also have connections with people you dislike, unfortunately. it's all cause and effect and whether they get access to you somehow directly or because of another party such as mutual friends, family etc.

    i'm going to look up the asteroid guinevere next. lol.
     
    Last edited: Feb 19, 2018
  10. birch Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    5,077
    his guinevere in pisces is on my pisces north node. this is true because i plan on ditching everyone for the afterlife. lmfao!
     
  11. birch Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    5,077
    my saturn on his south node and his karma on my vertex. saturn on south node is past life issues and karma on vertex is working/balancing karma.

    this denotes he was ambitious and in a past life i had higher status and i took him under my wing or helped him but he and his family held a grudge because it was viewed as a class struggle and in this life i am demoted or punished for 1) making the mistake of helping someone who would use it against me 2) it instigated the ire of his clan/family except it was his choice through his own ambition. lesson: be careful who you help because they can turn around and kick you in the teeth afterwards and their people can mob you for it or see you as a continual target/source if you are too giving. then you will end up switching places because of their rabid greed and zero moral scruples. in other words, it was my naivety and goodwill in a past life that steered the course where i would be pulled down.

    makes sense why someone would notice this chart.
     
    Last edited: Feb 20, 2018
  12. birch Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    5,077
    Saturn square chiron is the heartbreak clash but is common in long term relationships and is usually one way. Again, this goes both ways exactly.

    His chiron conjuncts my ascendant and mine conjunct his moon. My chiron also sextiles his sun. Again the most personal placements are hit with sun, moon and ascendant. You can get very, very close with these placements and if it ends, it will be like someone ripping your heart out.

    For instance, my last relationship only had two double whammies and only one planet in my 12th house. This one has almost all double whammies and multiple aspects in 12th house considered original twin soul flavor.

    Both our chirons also conjunct in same sign of aries so we understand the source of eachother's wounds.

    When i had that vision years ago of my soulmate, i blew if off for the most part, because deep down i knew it was not going to be possible to be together. So what i did was go for the total opposite type to distract myself. This was partly because going through the pain of that type of loss or being reminded of such a person was too unbearable. The more you love someone, the more painful the loss, of course.
     
    Last edited: Feb 21, 2018
  13. birch Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    5,077
    my mars conjunct pallas (which is already considered a cosmic wanderer/traveler/earth angel) in galactic center of sagittarius. these are based on window/time of birth for the degrees/windows to align. i further have many asteroid alignments in that sign which conjunct the galactic center. my mercury, uranus, jupiter and vertex in libra all conjunct the supergalactic center. my chart is strangely very 'evolved' for someone born in shitty circumstances. this is a lot of light energy and i do attract energy vampire type people who want to misuse it for greed. i was wondering why i had so much pure light energy in my chart when it wasn't showing up at face value on the planetary angle such as deva/manushya/rakshasa so i thought my chart was wrong. the chart is correct, you just have to pinpoint what the source is coming from. for instance, in the other's chart, it is his three sedna connections primarily; mine is galactic/supergalactic center primarily. both energies are not from this solar system literally.

    my only planet in scorpio is in spiritual and nebulous neptune which conjunct this midpoint. is it a coincidence that all three make alignments in my chart and i was born in this world to the demonic people aware of energy vampirism and black magic to take me down? i actually have no planets in sagittarius/cap cusp except for my mars but many of my asteroid alignments again are primarily in sagitttarius (which i don't particularly like sagittarrius sun, moon, venus and ascendant people at all because they remind me of buzzing mosquitoes!!) and scorpio. but sagitttarius in transpersonal houses is a spiritual and expansive placement. though i only have one planet in scorpio in a spiritual house, that makes many spiritual aspects to my natal planets (sun, moon, mercury, mars, uranus, neptune, jupiter) alone besides the asteroid alignments which makes me plutonian including the equal uranian hits from jupiter. this compounded with my saturn/ic/lilith/ascendant would drive the point home again, again and again that i did not want to incarnate or from elsewhere and don't belong. and epecially coming from others; a form of you do not belong so you are not entitled as us, even if you are better in some ways. it's very similar to being treated as a third class citizen because you are not from here originally. aka prejudice. so you will be used and abused and not afforded the same protections and rights metaphysically speaking. if you get any help, it would come from beyond this plane/domain.

    it's not your god/powers that be, people/species or spirit guides here unless there are random sorts of your own spread about here and there but they don't have the ultimate power either in this realm. also, this chart angle has many placements in the 12th house based on time of birth. this type of chart of 12th house placements is common in artists and most celebrities. in other words, this chart potentially could have risen to the top based on it's energy signatures and power, given the right circumstances and nurturing. but to be honest, celebrity status (even an ill price/glare to pay as lacking privacy) is small fry to me in the larger scheme. i see those behind the scenes as well as moguls as the real power behind the throne and movers/shakers. also, scholars and artists for their true appreciation and love of their craft. in other words, i would not want it and only on my terms. i'd much rather be paid well for something i love but without much public glare.

    i did not start out feeling this way initially exactly. people started to treat me this way and i questioned myself as to why i was being treated as such when i did not or could not see any tangible or logical reason for being ostracized or mistreated or treated differently from others at the time. it was just a theme all my life, even if i towed the conventional line. well, that question lingered in the back of my mind and i did feel different from most as they treated me differently with no rational explanation. even my friend at the time noticed how i was being mistreated for no rational or just reason (at the time i was still trying to be positive/fair/loving/giving). she got upset herself and said verbatim: there is 'something' about you they are jealous of; especially if i show my light honestly and full force, which i don't do anymore. again, the intangible. now, i don't try to fit in to a goddamn box because others can be insecure about themselves. but around the age of six, i did start having before incarnation type dreams.



    yes, we do feel that way, even some don't admit it.

    but my most critical placements such as psyche and moon are in sign of aquarius or on cusp as well as uranian hits to sun, moon, mars, neptune. jupiter.

    my mission was a more transpersonal spiritual one of some sort. well, it all went to hell and scrapped as a child (by others) so i don't remember if there was a plan.

    it makes sense at the time as society wasn't as evolved then (too rightwing at the time or those types had the most sway) and my majority planets in libra (vertex as a critical point) was trying to bring fairness to the world and they weren't going for it.
     
    Last edited: Feb 21, 2018
  14. birch Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    5,077
    my eris conjunct his moon direct. it's likened to a buzzing mosquito around the planet person, especially for a personal planet like the moon. i could drive him crazy. i've seen this aspect between a husband/wife where the husband said he wouldn't leave her but that he might kill her. she can push his buttons. whenever he gets pissed off, he said to the effect why would he act manly or push her around when he knows mentally he can 'beat the shit out of her' anyways if he wanted to when she won't 'stfu' annoying him. it was funny the way he related it.

    but this is equaled out with his eris conjunct my ascendant. this placement is tends to make the eris feel as though they own the ascendant person, full stop. they are his/hers. this can be good/bad, depending on how you feel toward the person from the receiving end.

    my ex's moon conjunct my prosperina. i do not have this particular synastry with anyone else. this is the one i mentioned that is similar in energy signatures and personality as well as looks to r. kelly (doppelganger type). notice the pattern. i am not a teen though anymore but i do have an aspect to my personality and looks that is of a little girl quality and they are very attracted to that.

    i need to make clear that this was not exploitive, perverted or disgusting like the stepfather synastry. the energy is nothing like that. they genuinely love, respect and care for the innocence they see in you and want to protect it. it's very loving, tender, romantic and nurturing. they don't coerce, or force themselves on you. it's mutual. it also relates to their own inner child and there is a fun aspect to this together. the positve for the prosperina is they can get away with a lot and the moon individual would overlook it. lol

    i need to make clear that even studying r. kelly's case, he is wrong technically because they were minors but they were attracted to him and it was mutual. he did not force or rape them. what was wrong is that their inexperience was the disparity and he should not have taken advantage of that but they are not as disgusting and depraved as actual sexual harassers, pedophiles and rapists who force themselves on those or pretend that the other wants them, when they were just intimidated or had no power in the situation. honestly, those young girls wanted him because he was attractive and had money. a potent combo that is appealing to many women. that's the real truth.

    i must admit with my ex, he was the most financially generous man i've been with. the positive lesson i learned from him is expect 'more' from a man and to have higher self-esteem (even though he tried to tear it down later but don't throw the positive lesson out with the bathwater). you just need to know when to get out. he still took care of my physical needs even after the love was gone. i experienced so many stingy and self-centered men throughout life so he was like a breath of fresh air and an epiphany that i needed to experience. he really was immensely loving at first and i felt swept off my feet like i had not experienced before. he was also tender to some of the worst childhood wounds i had. he went out of his way to win you over and take care of you as how a man should, not just expect you to like him with no attractive or mutual qualities. if you don't, they will still respect your decision/rights/free-will.

    now, there is a light and dark side. he had a very buoyant and positive energy which i needed to get me out of my doldrums and be reminded that the sun indeed shines again, just as tides and good fortune can return to bless you again, even when things seem dark and hopeless. but he also had a dark side too that was darker than mine (not dark like a pedophile, rapist or murderer but an asshole nonetheless). he also had way too many women who were attracted to him and he was unfaithful. that wasn't the worst because those women were viciously set against me and he handled it by telling them that i needed special care (lmao) to avert their evil green eye. i don't want to be with a man like that anyways so they can have him and i don't need that kind of trouble and stupidity. those women were truly bitches and stupid because i don't think like that and i wouldn't be so self-entitled to believe that another woman's man belongs to me. if the man is never inviting you to his place or spends the night, what should that tell you or money/gifts he throws at you, no matter what he complains or lies about his girlfriend? still, in the end he was using me co-dependently as a front for the public and his mother especially. the relationship was a shell and fake at that point.

    but the positive is what the lesson was about in this case which was to love myself more and expect others to treat me very well to deserve my attention.
     
    Last edited: Feb 22, 2018
  15. birch Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    5,077
    the twin flame flavor synastry has his moon conjunct my chiron in aries. aries (beginning or original) is a theme between the charts. because of the past life signatures, i did a reading from a past life as a tragedy and blow-up with a big 'question mark' as to what happened, leaving one or the other befuddled. to test it further, i asked about some others and it was not the same 'tragedy' that separated us. it's similar to my separation from my son as well in this life as he when younger didn't know why i just 'disappeared' which made me horribly grieved and guilty because he needed me. coincidence? the reader couldn't have known the birthdays because i never gave them as it was strictly a tarot reading. they get the message from the cards (experienced ones know what the combo/patterns indicate).

    guess where we both were at the time? in europe. apparently i was white in a past life as well as male at some point. lol

    interestingly, it also indicated in the cards that some of these people from a past life see me as a defector (some past life as a scarlet letter type of situation and oppression) in some way. no, the soul is just that and a vessel is just that and i wanted to expand my horizons.

    there was this theme all my life that i needed to avoid white people. i was staunchly patriotic about my birth country even as a very young child. then i was moved to america as a child. then i was abused by a white male which further set me against interaction on a personal level with white people (males in particular), though generally was not a problem. then my son was born and he is more white than anything which shocked me (lol), even though his father is mixed. then i saw the vision of my soulmate and he was white which i blew off as that is fuking impossible (i thought at the time). the more i ran from it, the more it was after me. lol

    now, the realization is full circle that i do not need to run from all white people as they will not all hurt or exploit me. so now, i accept that i used to be european and probably was humiliated and locked in a pillory in a past life in the public square and said a big fuk you to europe. btw, i also lived in europe as a child and it had an eerie familiarity. lol

    one thing on a soul level is that too many lifetimes in only one culture/race is not conducive to soul growth because you lack different perspectives to experience to develop depth and understanding. it's also fuking boring as hell such as nationalists and supremacists have very unattractive, one-dimensional and austere souls.

    and this is the dirty secret on a soul level about that racist/supremacist stepfather. he sensed that my soul was more evolved and experienced and he wanted to siphon that for himself while still being a fuking supremacist and not changing his racist stance. it fuking pisses me off that what i earned on my own was being taken by another who did none of the soul work or experience and he took it as if it was his own. this planet is so full of impostors and cheaters on so many levels, even metaphysical ones.
     
    Last edited: Feb 22, 2018
  16. birch Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    5,077
    imagine you are actually in hell but it's made to appear as if it's not. there are seemingly people just like you walking around living their lives and it's all normal. you see them get together with those who seemingly are of their kind. but you can't find it. then sometimes, there is such a seductive likeness but it's an illusion. that illusion you know is not the real one and hides barbs and wires that will cut and maim you. they are not even the same species even though you are wearing similar vessels playing this game. you realize how lonely you have been and how much you miss your loved ones. the real ones. the authentic ones. you realize how much you need that. the real thing. but it's as if it's all an illusion. the illusion of your loved one from so long ago makes your eyes water and catch your breath. you know deep down it's not the real one but you still want to believe it because you have been alone for so long and you are so far from home.

    you actually want to believe the illusion just to comfort yourself but it's a ruse and a trap to keep you here so they can use you up like as you have fallen and have been snared. they want your identity and your soul dna to proliferate more of these fascsimiles and likenesses on an auric level but underneath it's not the real deal and so they can wear it and love and impress eachother (their own kind), they are nasty creatures but they act it so well; it's even enticing and believable at least skin deep and incites those feelings of deeper kinship. and they will feed off that too as if they are milking that very reaction to add further to their formation at your expense. as they become, you dissipate.

    though it's hard to remain true, you know you have to, otherwise they will keep fooling you and keeping you trapped here alone and interacting with those who are demons beautifully wearing the guises of your loved ones. your heart reaches out because you want to believe and you want to love it. they want to take it all from your kind. there will be no mercy and your love does not register with them. they just know what you have will make their lives better for themselves and their kind. you are not part of that agenda. you are the object they use only. they will take your soul to the point, one day, you will not exist at all but be a shell and then whither like dust as if you were never here. then another one of your kind will be trapped here one day and be deceived and wonder why they seem to be different and where are those for them here? and find out this is not really their home or planet.

    just as you were desperately lost here, they will never know one of their own also was here at one point reaching out in silent desperation like a searchlight in a strange land and recieving nothing back but an echo or demons who are manipulating and constantly playing your false hope as they drain your lifeforce and dreams to have form for themselves. this universe is perversely like a copycat or forgery. it is not actually authentic. those who are truly authentic beings are the very rare ones and the demons know that. and horrificly, you find out they really do run the place and the most important areas of life and this game. no actual person has the power to fix it or save you. even worse, they don't even know that's going on. you are fuked forever here unless you can escape and get out.

    when they take the souls from the real ones that are not from this domain, it's like cells dividing. even if you escape, you leave the replications of you that will be used and enslaved and alone to wonder why they are being treated this way and why they can't find their kind as well just like you. even if you stay, they will keep you separated until they are used up and no more.

    a heinous system that should not exist masked with an illusion that this is the real and authentic world when it's a blasphemy of it in so many ways.
     
    Last edited: Feb 22, 2018
  17. river

    Messages:
    17,307
    This Universe is not a forgery nor copycat , Universe , it just is .
     
  18. birch Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    5,077

    this is the placement that made me notice the most. we both have mars square uranus natally. we are the same in this regard and his aries moon follows that theme. this combined with the mutual mars sextile uranus synastry is what prompted the 'is he one of my own?' type of question. i have never had a dw mars sextile uranus synastry with anyone ever. that's a mutual admiration society. it's literally the 'someone really gets me' or they truly identify type of synastry.

    his is at a close 1.01 degree orb and mine is at 3 but still very strong/close orbs for such volatile/strong planets. he followed his dreams and his inner calling and did not conform to what conventional society or people around him said he should or should not be doing with his life or career. well, i don't know what his support system was like but i'm assuming there were naysayers.

    that's the thing. either you or others can fuk up your life and natural/optimum pattern/ self-actualization when you don't follow your divine calling based on your personality or others prevent or damage it.

    both our signatures in our chart is artistic and individualistic calling in life. he made it but i didn't so it's a comparison study to me beside the fact there is twin soul flavor type synastry.

    i don't know if this is some competition or just coincidence but where he seems stronger in his chart is made up in my chart and vice-versa. such as his deva and his 3 sedna placements but mine is manushya though i have galactic/supergalactic placements which are more powerful in light so it makes up for it to balance both charts in synastry. and my pallas/mars denotes angelic placement which is on equal footing to his deva (angelic) planetary aspect. there is just so much yin/yang and balance everywhere in this synastry, it's interesting theoretically. but it makes sense his chart would be given preferential treatment as his status is local or of direct planetary alignments, mine is from another.

    also, if it couldn't get anymore synchronous, his vertex (critical point) hits all my super-galactic aspects (the very best and most powerful). i don't know if that is necessarily good. it would depend on who he actually is or he could just parasite that energy for himself at my expense if he was an unethical soul.

    another interesting synchronicity is both our nessus is in eachothers sun sign so that shows a rivalry on some level. it's not the type of synastry where you run up and greet eachother as you would both keep a healthy distance because of the similarities.

    here comes the poison again: his nemesis conjuncts my psyche. my nemesis conjunct his dejanira. psychological manipulation or abuse.
     
    Last edited: Feb 23, 2018
  19. birch Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    5,077
    i found this part enlightening about the stepfather's natal. i've not seen this description of anyone else i know so far. is it a coincidence this is a hidden trait yet he was a glorified baptist preacher?

    yes, he will shock you to an extreme degree when he reveals he is utterly depraved and is satan and devil combined.

    narcissist and megalomaniac. he has venus conjunct jupiter. a combination of a jolly evil santa and a pervert.

    and this is why he was going to crush, undermine and abuse everyone else's dreams, self-esteem etc around him and make sure it was weil flattened underneath his steamroller and run over several times for good measure to make sure it couldn't grow legs either because he didn't or couldn't or wouldn't reach his dreams or was not happy.

    you know, he had a horrible life being born a white male in a first world country to a upper middle class family in the suburbs and then had no one ever really in his way in anything except his own choices or lack of vision but whoa but if he gets a whiff of your motivation or inspiration! he would viciously and jealously stop you though. when i say stop, i mean with zero moral scruples and in any way he can.

    it seems a lot of people do this to others. if only there was a hell he could burn in for eterntity but that would be too lenient for him.

    he was disgustingly and viciously self centered. his mars, neptune and pluto aspects to lilith in his natal. so he was quite demonic, violent, perverted and irrational. he also had a lot of natural underhanded mediumistic ability that he used for black magic. why he fed off of others when he had too much excess energy himself, i do not know except he was greedy. it was he he was a leech about to burst.

    of course he wasn't a good minister to other's needs because it was always about how he was using others either as a position so that he can have control or be looked up to or use others. his "minister" status was to be looked up to as a guru or it appealed to his god complex ego.

    he was one twisted mofo piece of nasty shit this universe produced.
     
    Last edited: Feb 23, 2018
  20. birch Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    5,077
    i have this with that twin soul type chart and i've never experienced this type of relationship where i really felt at home where i really want to be or belong as in a coming home. i've felt this with my son but that is all. i don't have this synastry with anyone i know or have known so far.

    i can't even imagine what it would actually feel like because i've never felt at home fully anywhere.
     
  21. birch Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    5,077
    it is very prominent in my chart as it is conjuncted by sun, pluto, and even nemesis which is the worst. that would be similar to mars/pluto.
     
  22. birch Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    5,077
    i just did a synastry as an experiment to see what it would be like if it were with someone born on the same birthday as yourself. well, if they also were born at the same time, you could really compare notes then. it would be quite enlightening to find out the differences and similarities of experiences and how well they match. the results were quite funny because although all the positive aspects go both ways so does the negative:

    lol

    but this goes both ways, so who is the leader and who is the man/woman? lol.

    this also goes both ways. lol


    this also goes both ways. i guess it wouldn't work out too well. lol
     
    Last edited: Feb 25, 2018
  23. birch Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    5,077
    now, it's time to blow this fairytale synastry all to hell because it is misleading.

    aspects are not just single hits based on two charts but also how aspects hit your own natal as well as the other. two people will not always be feeling the same way about eachother or the relationships either and that's just based on the aspects alone, then there are the houses that fall into different areas for each individual.

    remember, i stated that there was a beautiful moon trine venus both ways and in composite? that is a sort of high school sweethearts or my first true love aspect synastry but it's not the full picture.

    since one of his aspects in natal is challenging such as moon square saturn and my venus trines his moon, that means my moon squares his saturn. also since my mars trine his moon and his moon squares saturn, my mars would square his saturn. and since my mars square pluto and his mars squares my moon and my moon trines pluto which squares my mars, his moon/mars squares my pluto.

    since his mercury squares my venus and my venus squares neptune, his mercury squares my neptune. since his venus trines my pluto but my mars squares pluto, his venus squares my mars. since his moon/venus trines my venus/moon and my venus squares neptune, his moon and venus squares my neptune.

    this is what is called afflicted natal aspects which will change completely or modify the integrity or normalcy of synastry aspects and how they are expressed because it is causing an effect of creating more negative synastry aspects than the positive one initially. most people do have at least one or two (some more) afflicted aspects in their natal or planets which are in fall or detriment.

    but the positive of squares in natal is more dynamic than easier ones but the price is single-hood for most. some can overcome them after they have matured or happen to be highly-evolved or ethical but even if you are in how you handle your afflicted natals in being able to control them, channel them constructively or express them in higher functioning rather than lower functioning mode etc, it doesn't matter if the other person is not on the same page or just doesn't want to. this is a rule: the most ethical person in a relationship that is even challenging, will be the one who will be hurt or exploited most. this is very important to remember or be aware of.

    so you start out with very good synastry but it deterioriates and all these nasty aspects come out later to play out. most relationships have an expiration date before they start rotting and start to poison the relationship/ people involved or one of them. you must get out before then or at least recognize when there is no good compatibility.

    if the positives outweigh the negatives in synastry and composite, then it can be worth it or worth salvaging. most fulfilling and mutual relationships have this balance where the positives outweigh the negatives (agreed to and recognized by both) or problematic areas of the relationship.

    otherwise, the relationship will only bring destruction and pain to one or both people.
    this is why divorce and failed relationships are so common. it is really not anything to completely feel responsible for (unless you actually are for some reasons) because there are so many factors and variables which can prevent a healthy or mutual relationship.

    it's not just what you consciously do, but the stars also have a say and can make it even more challenging. i have found that for the most part, most people are not supposed to be or meant to be in close proximity for very long. it's as if people are made to repel eachother on some level. this idea that people need to be so close to others at all times is a dangerous and unhealthy fallacy perpetuated in society which often does not work or becomes toxic or damaging to people's mental and emotional health, sometimes even physical. this is because nature is inherently pedatorial or parasitic so you really have to be wary and keep running a temperature and checkups on your relationships to make sure it's not turning pathogenic to one or both.

    most people need a comfortable amount of space from others to have respect and civility for eachother as well as not be codependent to a toxic or growth-inhibiting degree.
     
    Last edited: Feb 26, 2018

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