If girls want something, they should be clear about it. Don't just play like that, it is VERY confusing. I think the same should apply for the males. A girl should be straight up with her boyfriend. She is asking for trouble if she lies about what she wants and in my opinion gets what she deserves. Plus, a woman who lies is just a hooch anyway.... Getting back to REAL women.... Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! I don't like going out with one girl, breaking and then going out with other. I always found that to be horrible and disgusting, like uising them. So I always wanted to gwt the right girl right of the bat. The result, is that I got stressed out and I was putting too much pressure on girls. I went nowhere with this tatic. Okay, first off... chances are you aren't going to marry the first woman you date. Dating is all about experiencing difference relationships with different people - not at the same time. When dating, as a way of respecting the woman you must be devout to her and not be a scheming little asshole that wants to engage in numerous meaningless relationships. Aww... stressed out? Maybe you need to grow up first (i'm not saying that to be rude, I just mean that dating shouldn't be stress it should be a good thing). Getting a perfect person right off the bat is highly unlikely, chances are you will stress more trying to find that then just taking it easy with one girl at a time. When we get more intimate, we will see how comfortable we feel with each other. If our level of comfort is high, we will have fun. If it is low, we won't. It is very simple. People who engage in intimate relations before becoming emotionally involved are those who don't end up with much in the end. What is the point of being intimate with a person if you know nothing about them and they know relatively nothing about you? This is the whole sex appeal issue which I can't stand and would rather not venture off into. Also, getting to know them through friendship has proven to be not enough. By whom? Yourself? Alot of relationships begin as friendships and are often as strong, if not stronger, than any relationship where you begin being intimate before knowing the person emotionally. A nice relationship is a relationship where there is no emotional attachment, both people feel comfortable being intimate and there is emotional involvement. I disagree, I think emotional attachment is necessary. I don't think I could be intimate with someone if I wasn't somehow emotionally connected with them. emotional attachment is just like a drug while the emotional involvement is what makes the relationship alive (both people are growing), interesting and meaningful. It grows and both people involved don't need each other, but are together just to have fun. I'd like to agree with you but I just can't seem to. I think emotional involvement is the drug because it is a form of temptation wheras emotional attachment is necessary and expands the minds of the two that are dating. It enables both people to grow to know eachother. Having fun with any random person is fun but having fun with someone who you are emotionally attached to is even better! I don't like hurting people, you know? And I would feel awful if I would finish hurting somebody. If you are dating two people at a time someone will eventually get hurt. Actually, a lot of the things you want to do will probably end with someone getting hurt because most are immoral acts. The key to not getting hurt is being honet and letting the other person know your expectations and get to know their expectations. Honesty is the best shield against getting hurt. Expectations? I thought this was about love... Honest, are you going to tell them about how you have no intentions on engaging in emotional involvement? If you tell the person you only want to get them in bed and "have fun" you'd be kicked onto the doorstep and told to call some sex hotline or go to a stripclub. But if you don't tell them this then... Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! that would be ... lying? I've tried friendship, and it is simply not enough to tell wheter a more intimate relationship would work or not. It seems ehere is no other way out besides going out with one and then with other, or both at the same time. The last thing I want is to get someone hurt or me getting hurt. Relationships are more than just intimacy. I guess intimacy is all your really looking for here isn't it? Again, both girls at the same time would hurt one, if not both. Being cheated on is one of the worst feelings in the world. Once you get cheated on you will never cheat. Don't do it, it's not rewarding at all. Certainly. Relationship is all about sharing. Share the fact that you just want to fuck and you'll be out on the front lawn. It is this kind of assumption that closed the door so many times for me. Sorry for assuming but I just met you and have no other choice. I would die to save a girlfriend, if that would be the only way to save her. You'll realize soon enough that you won't die for any old girlfriend. Just because you are dating someone doesn't mean that they deserve your life - dating is experimental. Don't give yourself to just anyone. That used to put all the power in their hands and actually make them umcomfortable. Power? My hands. Mwahahaha, I'd love that! Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! Even my ex-"girlfriend" that used me and threw me away in three days because I didn't make her forget her ex-boyfriend as I was "supposed to do" said that I'm an extremely sensible man... Yesss, and my boss says I'm sensible - he means nothing to me. How can you take the words of someone who used you into consideration number one and number two.... you dated her for 3 days and she used you. Is there any relevance to this comment?... *shrugs* Nice to meet you Steph Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! Nice to meet you as well.
Sounds to me like you've grown a fair amount already TS Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! Just one thing tho, don't be quite so precious about it all. Its good that you are worried about not hurting others, but, chances are, their world won't come crashing down if you decide you're not so keen after a date or two. A date is just that, a date, it doesn't really even constitute enough to really even fall into the catagory of a "relationship". The fact is, at some point you will get hurt again and so will they, so be concerned, but don't stress out over it! Hurt makes you stronger and better equipt to deal with it next time. Imagine how much more damage it would do to a person who was shielded from hurt their whole lives, only ever had one relationship and THEN that person broke up with them... It would be like a whole world of hurt in one big hit and would probably fuck em up big time. But, anyways, I've talked enough shit, you seem to have ya head screwed on, you'll be ok Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
"Are you sure you want this girl? Seriously, I've met this kind of girl before. It was awful. It might turn out that she will use you and then throw you away when she get bored. Or maybe she will just use you to try to get over her ex-boyfriend. Girls that do that are usually trying to get over one guy by going out with other. And they keep changing boyfriends all the time. Just awful..." yes, i am sure that i want to go out with her, she is a really nice person, just a bit slutty. Can anyone give advice that will make her not do that?
You can't change a person to make them not do what you don't want them to do. If you don't like what they do then you won't be able to handle them... You can probably have fun trying though. - S t e p h -
Yeah, I agree with you. That's what I'm saying. I will eventualyl go out with many. Is there a problem with that? In my culture, "at the same time" is sometimes accepted. But yes, I agree with you. Just because they are numerous, that doesn't mean that they are meaningless. But again, whatever you do you need to be honest and say everything. If a girl that I go out with expect that I won't go out with anyone else at the same time I will respect that and I won't go out with any other. But it is important for her to state her expectations and for me to ask what are her expectations, in case she doesn't say them. I was stressed out because I was taking it too seriously. That has always been my problem since when I was around 12 years old (too seriously)... Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! But again, people pressed me to be more serious, because before that I didn't take life seriously at all! I've learnt that. When we get more intimate, we will see how comfortable we feel with each other. If our level of comfort is high, we will have fun. If it is low, we won't. It is very simple. Yes, it is better to be friends first. But there are limitations on friendship. People can still go out just for sex. It's just not going to be very meaningful and rewarding, that's all. You only really know somebody and you become intimate with that person. They can become as friendships, but that doesn't mean that they will work. A good friend doesn't necessarily mean a good lover. Don't mistake emotional connection (or "involvement") to attachment. Attachment is a need. It is like using somebody to satisfy yourself. You are mixing the terms. "Attachment" imples something that you hold onto and don't want to give up, while "involvement" is free and flowing. Just semantics... Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! Not if everyone is in agreement and there is no emotional attachment. What do you call "immoral"? Why are you saying this? Do you know what is meant by "expectations"? Like... for example... if you don't feel comfortable with something, you can tell to your partner not to do something because you feel umcomfortable, or because of something related to your belief system. That way, your partner can know where you stand. Telling your partner your expectations is just a matter of communicating what you desire and how you see your relationship. Btw... I don't want a relationship just for sex... There is more in a relationship then just that... Intimacy is not just about sex. Again, intimacy is way broader then that. But yes, I'm looking for intimacy, absolutely. Telling your "secrets" is a way of intimacy, for example. Intimacy is all about being yourself and being comfortable showing yourself (I'm not talking about just getting phisically naked, I'm talking about getting emotionally, spiritually and "intelligently" naked too). I've never thoguht about cheating. If I want to go out with two girls at the same time, I will tell that before I even go out with them. It is just a matter of being opened. Cheating is going out with more than one without telling them. That is bad. I'm probably not going to go out with more then one, since that is not the culture in Canada. But again, just as you say, dating is experimental and I don't see so much trouble with that. Who said I just want sex? Why you keep assuming that? Ok... So please don't say anymore that I just want sex. If someone is in danger (whoever), I definetely try to save that person. I try to keep my life, but if I would need to give it away to save that person's life I would. A good example of the kind of person like me are firemen. Like the ones of 9/11... Others feel umcomfortable. in fact, my counsellor said that everyone feels umcomfortable with that... She is extremely insensible and she said I'm sensible, so I should be reeeeeaaalllly sensible... Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
A nice slutty person? That's an interesting combination. You are really attached to her, aren't you? Maybe. Learn this before you get hurt: you cannot change people. You are talking with someone that tried for 2 years to enlighten a girl, and in the end she didn't learn it... Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! Besides, if you don't like how she is and want to change her, that is already a sign that she is not for you.
I didn't. A lot of what I'm saying I've always thought like that. I'm just better equiped semantically. There's almost nothing I've learnt. I just understand myslef in a better way, that's all. If there is no emotional attachment, there is no hurt. The key is: so ne it. There are lots of girls in the world. It is likely that there are many girls that would be nice girlfriends and wives fior me. So why worry? Of course, everyone is unique, but it is important to know to accept that. I definetely know that... Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! I know what you mean. I've already experienced that. What do you mean...? Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
everyone here seems to say you can't change a person, ill believe you, but ill still try she is slutty and nice, its quite easy to be that, slutty is basically just being very nice to numerous people Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! and who here can tell me that anyone that they have gone out with is perfect?
i read somewhere 'women are born a thousand years old'.they can act very bitchy at times reminding you of things of bygone era.
Naaaahhh... They only become bitchy on those days... Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
"They only become bitchy on those days..." what, the ones that end with a y ??? "Good luck. Don't feel bad if you don't succeed..." thanks, ill try not to overreact or anything if i dont
