I understand that one can love someone who does not return those emotions. But why do people insist in unrequited love? And, what is more, why do they tell the loved one that they love them, and that they expect nothing in return? Why tell someone you love them and at the same time say that you have no hopes that love may be returned? Also, what is the person who is loved this way supposed to do? Watch the lover suffer? Have mercy with the lover? Send the lover away? Please discuss.
Who are u talking about Rosa? Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! A quite immature attitude. Ususally unrequited love does not involve suffering or toture. Sometimes it is actually pleasurable to love somebody even though they don't, say, even know u! My own guess is thats another evolved emotion which propels us to chase members of the opposite sex rather than being lazy about it Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
I guess some people feel content with loving without having that love returned or maybe they dont belive that love would be returned anyways so as long as they love that person then they still feel that connection. Crazy huh!
Unrequited love is usually that way for some good reason, and would prefer to get fufilled if possible. If there is some reason it is not possible, then why not tell them? Love is hard to ignore, and also does not depend on expecting something in return. If there is really no hope at all, then I would think its better to keep it secret.
Because they are morons. Because, again, they are morons. There is no such thing as unconditional love. Because it is fun to lie to ourselves and others.
I have not generally heard the term "unrequited love" used in quite this way. Normally the lover does not settle so stoically into the situation that they actually tell the object of their affection to just carry on and leave things as they are. If the lover is a man he smothers her with gifts and flowers, does the kinds of thoughtful and attentive things day after day that every wife wishes her husband would do just once in his whole frelling life, and if he's not careful makes a bloody pest of himself or worse, goes off the deep end and verges on stalking. If the lover is a woman she knows that the way to a man's heart is through his penis. Assuming that she's not a total jerk and he's not Mark McGrath and does not already have a very good relationship with a woman of his own, most men will have trouble resisting this kind of attention. The woman will often succeed in getting her love "requited," at least temporarily. She will have a better chance than the man in the reversed-roles scenario of making her dream come true. This isn't the most propitious way to start a relationship that is likely to amount to something, but that doesn't mean it will never ever work. But if it indeed does not, the man will eventually run out of the endorphins generated by sheer lust and realize that he's not in love. The relationship might still stagger along on its own inertia, until the man meets another woman who appeals to him on a greater bandwidth. Women can become stalkers just as easily as men; this can get really messy or downright violent just like the other way. I'm surprised that you younger people think that a lover can just go through life settling for a platonic relationship and not pushing it. I'm sure you're speaking from actual observation if not experience. I think this is sad. Not that I advocate going full out in the other direction and becoming a stalker. I just think that love is supposed to be the most powerful emotion and for someone smitten by it to react so passively seems almost dysfunctional. It's as if a new generation has grown up expecting disappointment and becoming comfortable with it, "like old leather," as Captain Picard said of old grudges on Star Trek. These are the kids whose high school anthem included the line "I've tried so hard and got so far, and in the end it doesn't really matter," as I just finished posting on the "soundtrack of your life" thread, so I guess it's no surprise that they're very accomplished at fatalism. But it is so terribly sad. It's time for a rewrite of that old hippie slogan: If you love someone, And they don't love you back, Set yourself free!
Thank you for your responses. Fraggle Rocker, Would you say that the younger generation is simply used to "You never get what you wanted"? Where does such a negativistic outlook come from? Were we raised with expectations too high to ever be realizable? Or could it be that as children, we were never taught to deal with disappointment and failure, and how to overcome them? -- So now we settle for disappointment and failure and treat them as something normal, and something that can never in any way be overcome?
I don't think anybody will insist on it. Maybe you're thinking of unconditional love? Or maybe someone who insists on unrequited love is thinking their love is "unconditional", which can be a fatal mistake. After the relationship has progressed for a while, it might become hard to distinguish between the two. If one person is having second thoughts, the other must decide whether to back off or persist. Am I right to make the statement: unrequited love sees no obstacles? I can answer this one: because you are confident that you are able to love them without receiving a "return on investment". It can't remain "romantic love" for long, or it's just a crush that will end in pain and disappointment, it must mature very quickly. The unrequited love must not require exclusivity if it wants to survive. Make it clear that this love has no future if it has romantic intentions. We all know the classic "we can only be friends" line, although friendship isn't always the best way to let someone down - they will only pine for your attention secretly, straining the "friendship" and causing unnecessary agony. I don't think "having mercy" is a good idea either. It's dishonest to fake affection for their sake. If you're not in love, be clear about it. If you do care about the person a little, but you can't return their commitment, you'll have to decide very quickly whether you're going for a relationship or not - the longer it drags out the more people are going to get hurt. Everybody likes being loved and getting attention, but you can't be a parasite and still respect yourself. And if you return the attention you're encouraging them, so only give as much as you wish to receive, and give it consistently. Let the other person realize your position and give them time to come to terms with it. If they become obsessive, be firm and unambiguous. But only a completely insensitive person will watch someone suffer, even if it's their own doing. Otherwise, give 100% and don't hold back. If the relationship doesn't work out, don't let it be because you've had one foot out the door the whole time. But the hardest part is figuring out your own feelings first.
Perhaps even if nothing will come of it, it's a release for the person...helps them get on with their lives....like meeting Phil Collins and knocking him spark out, for the years of resentment built up from listening to his whiney little voice.
to be honest, i dont have the faintest idea Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!. like it though Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
Well if you don't tell someone it's unrequited love (or that you love them) then that's unrequited love. If you tell them it is, then that's you trying to change the situation. Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! Not sure if that's what sargentlard was saying though.
ahem... underneath it all, it's the deepest wish of every normal person is to be appreciated and understood. I think the declaration of "unrequited love" (between lovers) should be largely considered as a clever tactic to score points with the other party. Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! It's contradictory in fact. It's like telling the whole world that you've donated a billion dollars to a world-renowed charity. That's not the true spirit of charity. A real philanthropist rather keeps his anonymity. "The true measure of a man's worth are the things that he'll do if he knew that nobody would know about his deeds." A beautiful quote, but i can't remember the person who said that. Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
Depends on how it is used. When it comes to love there is no real definiton or meaning to what one says or does unless that certain something is studied within its context. How they said it. Who said it. When they said it. For me the most important comes down to who said it. The person behind the words is one of the most crucial aspects of understanding love.
A desire for "unrequited love" could be a noncommittal desire for sex (mostly from women) or emotional security (mostly from men) and not love in its traditional form. One cannot give love and not expect to receive it in some form. Between the rhetoric, the most devoted altruist in the world is still looking out for #1.
It is actually a combination of 2 of the most well known pagan symbols: the equidistant cross and the pentacle star!
