Jesus is the ONLY WAY!

Discussion in 'Religion Archives' started by Sir. Loone, Mar 22, 2001.

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  1. Sir. Loone Jesus is Lord! Registered Senior Member

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    Jesus is the ONLY [true] HOPE for this world!
    And many will be deceived of the Devil to receive the 'Anti-Christ' as there 'Savour', and will be 'LOST' for all ETERNITY!! The signs of the times are fast approaching, and it could be hours, days, weeks, months, years, decades etc., but possibly in our life time! Jesus IS our ONLY HOPE FOR PEACE!!
     
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  3. Tiassa Let us not launch the boat ... Valued Senior Member

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    Chocolate is the only true hope of the world

    It's sweet and tasty, and really good chocolate has chemicals in it that help your brain fend off the rainy-day blues.

    Or ... marijuana is the only true hope of the world; this I would actually give some serious thought to. It's food, medicine, fiber for a host of uses, can be made into plastic, can be smoked or eaten for recreation. It makes fuel. It seems God gave us a wonder-plant, as such. But it's not bulletproof, and no matter how much you smoke, it won't make you leap tall buildings in a single bound.

    What I'm after, Sir Loone, is what, aside from faith, do you base this on? I mean, Marxism could, technically save the world; on paper it works. We know differently from experience.

    Can you demonstrate that Jesus is the only hope for the world?

    I mean, to match faith, I might assert that really good fellatio will save the world. After all, who wants to get up five minutes after an orgasm to go out and kill someone?

    thanx,
    Tiassa

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  5. pragmathen 0001 1111 Registered Senior Member

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    There once was a man named Horatio

    Loony Bin,

    You say that Jesus is the only hope for this world, eh? What world would that be? Is that your six-by-eight foot world you've been incarcerated within?

    The signs of the times are fast approaching, you say? Here's a cool little story to <i><b>dis</b></i>prove your exhaustively researched point.

    My brother did some proselyting in Brazil a few years back. He met a woman that was 104 years old! He told her, basically, that if she would accept baptism, then she could be with Christ eternally. He also said that it was possible to see Christ in our lifetime. She looked up at him and said, translated of course, "Child. They've been telling me that since I was four years old. He's not coming back."

    Besides, it's profoundly apparent that He accidentally came <i>back</i> to a different system of planets.

    By the way, I don't want to add insult to injury, but when you rearrange Sir Loone, it also forms the words: sore loin. Despite existing medical conditions, this is not a <i>carte blanche</i> opportunity to spout inanities.<IMG SRC="images/icons/icon12.gif" HEIGHT=15 WIDTH=15 ALIGN=ABSCENTER alt="Wink">

    prag
     
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  7. tony1 Jesus is Lord Registered Senior Member

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    Re: There once was a man named Horatio

    Well, I guess that settles it once and for all, then.

    What were we thinking?
     
  8. pragmathen 0001 1111 Registered Senior Member

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    Like with like

    I say, dear sir, that to answer another fellow in the same tone and manner that he proposed a certain thought would be to endear the words <i>to him</i>, rather than trying to mystify him with thoroughly disturbing thoughts to which he is not accustomed.

    In short, tony1, your line of thinking (which naturally translates into written media) is consistently expressed in tones indicative of computers (which seems to be a 'blessing' bestowed on us non-Christians). Computers, you say? Why, yes. A computer will consistently return the same reply and intonation and timbre and pitch of a statement <i>regardless</i> of the input and <i>regardless</i> of the input<i>er</i>.

    So, is tony1 intelligent? Of course. Self-centered? Who is not (including God)? Copious? Very detailed in his answers to various posters. So, what's the problem? Well, tony1 seems to be one-dimensional in the sense of his replies.

    It's obvious that <b>Sir Loone</b> doesn't care for much discussion, whereas tony1 does. You want to discuss something into extreme detail (not that I think that is at all a bad thing), tony1's your man. But be prepared for one of three possibilites:
    <ol>
    <li>Responses that have probably been pieced together from some of his other posts.</li>
    <li>Several scriptures strung together with brief explanations afterwards.</li>
    <li>A one- or two-liner where he sums up your entire thought in a punfully entertaining rejoinder.</li>
    </ol>

    tony1 is the superego within us all. He is the one that frowns on those terrible non-Christian ids. The egos are the other Christians which really aren't Christians actually, according to tony1. When God granted tony1 his vision of impending doom and blessed him with an amazing ability to recall scripture verse, tony1 also took it upon himself to declare God's word through belittling tactics, obfuscation, and misdirection. Wait a sec, I guess that <i>does</i> make him a disciple of God.

    Indeed, what was I thinking?

    p.s. Hey, tony1, I'm trying to find out whether you've ventured out on that branch and posted a thread? Still rather stay on the ground?

    Now, remember, if you reply to this, choose one of your three versions.

    prag
     
  9. tony1 Jesus is Lord Registered Senior Member

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    Re: Like with like

    Surely you're smarter than that.
    That just begs the question of where the other posts came from.
    I have to remember that I may be speaking to people who aren't necessarily aware of the point just because it is stated.
    A bon mot, or a pun mot, if you wish.

    I'm sorry you feel this way.
    If you feel belittled, it may be because your point is also little.

    Not on this board.
    Or all three?
    Nope, the verses are in another thread.
     
  10. Sir. Loone Jesus is Lord! Registered Senior Member

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    462
    Re: Chocolate is the only true hope of the world

    Tiassa, Jesus is the Son of God and creator of the universe and worlds unknown! He is the only 'true' hope for this world past, present and future, and the Bible is the 'inspired word of God' from GOD Himself, and He can not lie!

    This I speak of is not of drugs and alcohol, or man made solutions, those will not do anything but destroy your life. Marxism is definitely not the answer! Nothing of Mankind, apart from GOD's intervention can save us from destroying ourselves, we ARE (human-race) ultimately DOOMED to self destruction on OUR OWN! Humanism is not the way, and only the Prince of Peace (Jesus 2cd coming) can bring in a lasting peace that will last forever, GOD is immortal and so are His Saints. But those that refuse His offer of peace within and without, in this life and forever will have to be judged, and there life reviewed, and destroyed in the Lake of Fire at the Great White thrown of Judgment in the end, so there be no more evil or sinners in the end. This world will pass away, not with the Great Flood of Noaa's time, but with FIRE next time! Jesus is our only hope of escaping the Wrath of Almighty GOD on the Earth! This world will be replaced by a new Heaven and a new Earth, it is written in the Holy word of GOD, the Bible. All you see now will be burned up, and pass away into Hell! Jesus is our only hope! Fire BURNS!

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  11. Malaclypse Perturber Registered Senior Member

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    I DO NOT WORHIP HUMAN BEINGS

    i simply admire. Jesus was human and he revolted against idolotry, Why are we besmirching his memory with what is simply something he was against?
     
  12. Tiassa Let us not launch the boat ... Valued Senior Member

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    37,882
    Loone

    Look, I know it's your faith, but all you're doing is repeating yourself without ever addressing the issues that challenge the adoption of that faith. What you have written here I have been told by people both good and not, who believed in Christ. What you have written here is a cliche designed to avoid the issue. Check out Emerald's post on the definition of a cult.
    I generally try not to remind people to learn how to handle their liquor or use their drugs responsibly. This is something you've figured out on your own, though, obviously. That is, if you're speaking from experience; after all, you're alive long enough to post. If you're not speaking from experience, I would invite you to go out and learn a little about the drugs of which you speak. But, otherwise, I think I take your point. Neither marijuana nor Guinness stout have threatened my immortal soul, though.
    How do you know?
    I generally agree that humanity is following a destructive path. But other than that, you're piling a big load with nothing to haul it.
    You know, if I write a book, and make assertions about the state of the Universe, I'm expected to be able to back those up. Strangely, Christians do not seem to apply that standard to the Bible. Given the things they find wrong with the idea of evolution, I wonder what would happen if Christians turned their critical eye on the Bible, instead of just citing it to glorify the god that they're afraid of pissing off. It's a moot point, though, since such wonderings are not conducive to one's relationship with God. It would upset God very much if we ever figured out what He was talking about.
    And all because he loves us. If God, with is perfect knowledge and immutable will, cannot figure out that he's judging people for behaving as he created them, then we should reconsider what we call perfect. God's just upset because his experiment didn't turn out right.
    Well, I'll give you this. Whether an asteroid crashes or the sun explodes or a nuclear war fries us all, there will be lots of fire when the big show starts. But if God must descend from the heavens and put on a grandiose show at the end of time, it's purely an egotistical thing, and hints at a lack of self-esteem on God's part.
    Hallelujah!

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    That's another cheap cliche designed to avoid serious issues.
    And why should we believe what is written in the Bible?

    Because it is the Word of God.

    According to whom?

    According to the Bible.

    So, in other words, it would appear that if you believe that, it's because you choose to believe the Bible. The only reason to believe the Bible, then, is because it says you must.
    "Slogans! Get your slogan here! Real cheap, real easy. Get your cliche-slogans. Slogans!"

    I still prefer hot dogs and beer at the baseball game.

    Your inability to work outside cliches, sir, indicates that you do not have any credible argument to post. Keep trying, though. One of these days, you'll figure it out.

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    thanx,
    Tiassa

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  13. daktaklakpak God is irrelevant! Registered Senior Member

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    Re: Re: Chocolate is the only true hope of the world

    Are you implying that even GOD has something that it can't accomplish? How mighty is that?
     
  14. Apeitheo ...decaying in the abyss Registered Senior Member

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    Exactly. God has ordered people to be killed, and killed as well, so why wouldn't he be able to lie? Not ranking anything...but killing seems to be more severe then lying.

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  15. SkippingStones splunk! Registered Senior Member

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    Sir. Loone,
    What are you trying to accomplish in this thread? It is not a 'new' argument to this religion forum.

    Even if an idea X is eternally beneficial to everyone, stating it in a certain way will cause more people to ridicule it than receive it. This is one of those ways.

    If you truely want to help people, this is not a very productive way to do it. On the otherhand, maybe we all CAN learn something new from this. So choose your statements wisely and recognize that we're all human beings. :m:
     
  16. Medicine*Woman Jesus: Mythstory--Not History! Valued Senior Member

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    Sir. Loone: To Tiassa: "Jesus is the Son of God and creator of the universe and worlds unknown!"
    *************
    M*W: "...worlds unknown" says it all. We know which world we're in. Maybe Jesus is lost or took a wrong turn in the universe.
    *************
    Sir. Loone: "He is the only 'true' hope for this world past, present and future, and the Bible is the 'inspired word of God' from GOD Himself, and He can not lie!"
    *************
    M*W: But what about those shifty scribes that translated it all? They could lie, but even if they didn't, they may have succumbed to human error.
    *************
    Sir. Loone: This I speak of is not of drugs and alcohol, or man made solutions, those will not do anything but destroy your life.
    *************
    M*W: Not if you use them in moderation like the Catholic Church says. But what about those sneaky scribes, again? Weren't they performing "man made solutions" when they copied down the books of the bible? Beware! It's true!!! The Bible will destroy your life!!!
    *************
    Sir. Loone: "Marxism is definitely not the answer!"
    *************
    M*W: You can't deny that the Marx Brothers gave the human race some comedy.
    *************
    Sir. Loone: Nothing of Mankind, apart from GOD's intervention can save us from destroying ourselves, we ARE (human-race) ultimately DOOMED to self destruction on OUR OWN!
    *************
    M*W: What's so wrong with us destroying ourselves as we know us? Look where we've come from -- apelike humanoids to religious fanatics! Self-destruction is the only hope for mankind!
    *************
    Sir. Loone: "Humanism is not the way, and only the Prince of Peace (Jesus 2cd coming) can bring in a lasting peace that will last forever, GOD is immortal and so are His Saints."
    *************
    M*W: Humanism IS the way. God dwells within the human race, and humanity was never NOT saved, but we'll save a piece of it for Jesus when he gets back with the pizza.
    *************
    Sir. Loone: "But those that refuse His offer of peace within and without, in this life and forever will have to be judged, and there life reviewed, and destroyed in the Lake of Fire at the Great White thrown of Judgment in the end, so there be no more evil or sinners in the end."
    *************
    M*W: What are trying to say here Loony man? That Jesus will throw judgment on anyone who is not white? Sounds like you're playing the race card here.
    *************
    Sir. Loone: "This world will pass away, not with the Great Flood of Noaa's time, but with FIRE next time!"
    *************
    M*W: Maybe we should be building some really big fire trucks with infinitely long hoses hooked up to all our oceans.
    *************
    Sir. Loone: "Jesus is our only hope of escaping the Wrath of Almighty GOD on the Earth!"
    *************
    M*W: A minute ago you said it was fire, but now you're saying it's Jesus' wrath. Jesus never said anything about destroying us with fire OR wrath!
    *************
    Sir. Loone: "This world will be replaced by a new Heaven and a new Earth, it is written in the Holy word of GOD, the Bible. All you see now will be burned up, and pass away into Hell! Jesus is our only hope! Fire BURNS!

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    "
    *************
    M*W: This world is already being replaced by a "new heaven" and a new "Earth." It's called e-vo-lu-tion. What you call "being burned up" by fire, means that there will be a spiritual change, as in the "fire of the spirit" that will change the human race and help us to become altruistic. If the "fire in our Human Spirit" wasn't already working, we wouldn't be able to envision the wonderful changes to come -- the "fire" of God (electricity); the "fire" in the human physiological body changing the human race into an androgynous race of one color, one race and one spirit. We're already on our way toward the end of the "last day of creation" as we become Homo spiritus.

    Medicine*Woman has spoken.
     
  17. Athelwulf Rest in peace Kurt... Registered Senior Member

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    5,060
    Das Buch

    In the beginning Athelwulf created Heaven and Earth exactly as they are today. He created the first man and woman. He laid down the rules:

    Thou shalt not worship any before Me. Any man who doth not worship My name shallt spend eternity in Antarctica. Any man who doth praise My name shallt spend eternity in My domain, Mars.

    Athelwulf is the ONLY WAY! All must praise HIS NAME, lest you freeze ETERNALLY in the depths of ANTARCTICA! It is written in the HOLY WORD of ATHELWULF, das Buch!

    . . .

    So, using the same logic a gungho Christian applies to the Bible, what I have just written is just as valid as the Christian belief system. Therefore, all Christians, Jews, Muslims, etc. MUST worship My name, or else yer goin' to Antarctica!

    If you ask me, it's blind faith. Some people are actually ignorant enough to follow a book whose only proof is itself.

    Where is the post of which you speak? Could you possibly link to it?

    Amen!

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    How very sad for Sir Loone. I wonder if he/she knows this?
     
  18. Apeitheo ...decaying in the abyss Registered Senior Member

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    Although the Bible does speak of miracles, and eye witness accounts for these miracles. I believe this is what catches most people. These eye witness accounts are only written down, and could very well not be true. Outside the Bible I don't see many 'miracles' being performed today though...
     
  19. Maestro Registered Member

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    10
    You know something, you don't need faith in the bible for it to be a teaching tool, or even an amusing thing...

    Ever read the bible? do it! read it! but don't take it seriously, read it like a peice of fiction: a bunch of short stories (that's what it is..) keep in mind how old the content is, how sloppy the translation could be, how it could have been changed... i think there are a million other ways the bible is fascinating.

    I think, in a sense of storytelling, it's comparable to shakespeare... in modern literature/entertainment/storytelling, you can see remainants of shakespeare everywhere. As you can with the bible -- the types of morals taught are intelligent ideas, and of a philosophical nature! (i.e. david/golliath)

    Same with Jesus... personally, i don't believe he was of any supernatural significance... however, you have to admire the things he did. The balls he had in something so uncertain...
    And he said some intelligent stuff too -- Jesus was just as much a philosopher as plato himself, he just had his head in the clouds.

    Mind you... we all know that Dave Matthews is really jesus anyway

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    just follow him when the world ends.


    Cheers,
    Maestro

    (Edit: corrected spelling)
     
  20. Cris In search of Immortality Valued Senior Member

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    Umm people - this thread is from 3 years ago. Looney left us quite some time ago - one of the craziest fanatics we've ever had.
     
  21. Medicine*Woman Jesus: Mythstory--Not History! Valued Senior Member

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  22. Godless Objectivist Mind Registered Senior Member

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    Oh!! I dind't look at the date. For a minute there I was freaking out!!.

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    Godless.
     
  23. Michael 歌舞伎 Valued Senior Member

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    I always like it when religous speak begins to blend with sales-pitch.

    This I speak of is not only an elixir for yer feet’s but will mend any and all aliments. Why a simple dab of Jesus on yer rump well get cha goin . . .!! Go-n bald my friend? Why a smigen of Jesus on the roots will fix em! Drink it, eat it, rub it, love it - just a splash will fix ya in a flash. Can you give me a "Jay" . . . . .

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