Hitting a woman

For most people that statement creates a positive and absolute emotional response as it should, but does applying logic to womanbeating mean betraying yourself and human protocol?

Here's what it's like. I was at my ex-girlfriend's (we'll call her Karen) birthday party yesterday. She had been my ex for about 4 years. There was me, her, her boyfriend (Mark) whom she'd been dating for 3 years or so, and a bunch of friends.

Everyone was having a blast until about 11:00. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Mark and Karen fighting and I got a vague impression that he hit her (I was drunk and a bit high). Then all the guy witnesses, myself included, went over and broke it up. Mark's cousin mentioned, "I lost all respect for him now. You just don't hit a woman"

Mark was pissed off. "You've never seen all the times she had been smacking me around."

After taking everything into consideration, I find myself in an uncomfortable place. From what I know, they'd been fighting for a while now. And I know Mark, despite his upbringing, is not a guy who hits women. They'd been in many fights and if anybody did the hitting, it was her hitting him.

After that, she was a basketcase, crying, saying, "It's not his fault, I provoked him."

This time, he open-handed her and people saw it. Didn't even leave a mark. If he actually wanted to hurt her, he could have. That doesn't justify anything. Personally, I would never hit a woman unless I had to.

The point is, looking and understanding the situation in a completely logical way sort of dissolves the cognitive dissonance created out of what Mark did. If a woman hits a man in the face and then that man hits the woman back with an equal amount of pressure and intensity, it's a huge deal. It's emotions. It's just something we have to live with. I'm not a bad person.

 

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It's a huge deal. There's no reason to hit a girl, ever.

I don't think you can apply logic to it.

 

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Sure there is - like when she deserves it.

 

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Seriously, when a woman needs hit, you hit her, just like when a child needs hit. It's good for the woman.

 

El Wrongo.

What about self-defense?

 

Not to burst your bubble, but why should your logic apply to females and not males?

 

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What if she refuses to have sex with you?

 

oh then you have to slap the bitch

 

I'm wondering how I should deal with this. This is a good friend on mine who was hit by another good friend on mine. Should I encourage her to break up with him? It abhors me to see someone I care about engaged in an abusive relationship. I'm.. uh. Don't know.

 

We're not dealing with rational people. They know violence doesn't help anything, but both of them are very high-strung reactive types. Very prone to getting caught up in the heat of situations. They should get new partners, but they still love each other a lot and share a lot of history.

 

Let's hear it from the women. Wo sind sie?

 

when I broke up with my last long term girlfriend (relationship of 11 months) because we were arguing too much (and I realised she was bitter and nasty), she got upset and whipped me on the shoulder with her metal watch (band).
It hurt, and I said "your going to have to leave" (my house). I never hit her.

Just goes to show its not always the guys who do the bad shit.

 

What the hell is that? We are in the intelligence forums.

The following are not allowed:

- Argumentum ad misericordiam (Appeal to Pity)
- Argumentum ad numerum (Appealing to the Majority)
- Argumentum ad populum (Appealing to the Gallery)
- Audiatur et altera pars (Arguing from unstated assumptions)
- Circulus in demonstrando (circular reasoning)
- Petitio principii (Begging the question)

 

I consider self-defense blocking a right hook with your forearm. Why would you ever need to hit her?

Because most males, those who deserve to be called that, can take a good slap from a girl and understand what it means:
a) you did something thats beyond words
b) she's crazy and abusive and you need to leave her
c) Its a sign of affection, playfulness (..yes, it happens)

Hitting a girl is almost always the opposite of love and affection. For a girl, it can sometimes be the only way to show her teeth, as guys are generally stronger and louder and more capable of dominating(edit to add: physically). It keeps them on a level playing field with mutual respect; the guy never does it, the girl does it as little as possible kind of like an extra consitutional right and they keep eachother in line this way.

 

And I suppose threads like this one: http://www.sciforums.com/showthread.php?t=35201 belong on 'intelligence forums'.

Don't fool yourself.

 

Weezer - Getchoo::

Yup he crossed the line, realizes it and now he's screwed. Words of experience from a talented songwriter

 

A woman's perspective.
I do not believe anyone has the right to hit someone else because they are angry.
In the past I have hit my husband and while he may have really pissed me off, disrespected me and breached our trust I still should not have hit him. When the dust settled and I had time to think about it, I realized that had he hit me back the first time I hit him, I probably would never have done it again. Unfortunately for him, he didn't. (I don't do that anymore)
I honestly believe if a woman hits you first, you have the right to hit her back as long as it's not a full on, with all your strength hit. I know two wrongs don't make a right but it may send a message. I think women in general have learned via the woman's lib movement that they have the right to do what they want and I disagree. Being a woman does not make you entitled to anything, if you want respect, earn it.

Lesa

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Free Thoughts, the title says.

Nice try though. Almost worked.

 

Doesn't matter. Its still a dumbass thread.

Its funny how you're resorting to argumentum ad hominem(the no-no you forgot to include), which I wouldn't mind so much had you actually disagreed with me.

 

You just don't hit a woman ever, no matter what. If they attack you i think its ok to block them, or hold down their arms, but i don't think i could live with myself if i ever hit a female. Its just not on.