Simpsons Quote Thread!!

Sorry I'm so late on this thread, but I had to get in:

MR BURNS: "No, with my last breath I sucked out my gold fillings....those paramedics have sticky fingers!"

RALPH WIGGUM: "Teacher, I glued my head to my shoulder."

HOMER: "I hope you learned your lesson, Lisa. Never help anyone."

DR. NICK RIVIERA: "Hey look, it's Mr. McGreg, with a leg for an arm, and an arm for a leg!"

LIONEL HUTZ: "Care for a belt of Scotch?"
MARGE: "It's 8:30 in the morning!"
LIONEL HUTZ: "Yeah, but I haven't slept in days." *glug glug*

TROY McCLURE: "Hi, I'm Troy McClure, you may remember me from such self-help films as....Smoke Yourself Thin, and Get Confident, Stupid!"

MR. BURNS: "And think about it, Smithers, if I had her killed, I'd be the one to go to jail!"

JIMBO JONES: "Aw, I don't believe it...now my pants are chafing me too!"

MR. VAN HOUTEN: "Milhouse, give him back his soul, I've got work tomorrow!"

MR. BURNS: "Come on man, use an open-faced club...the sand wedge!"
HOMER: "Mmmm, open-faced club sandwich..."

MR. BURNS: "Homer, I would love to help, but you see, I'm uh...strapped for cash."

MR. BURNS (on the phone with Smithers, while Homer is standing right there): "This fellow seems to be getting dumber by the minute, I've never seen anything quite like it.....I'm not really free to talk right now."

MR. BURNS: "Ooops, I lost a fingernail...well, that's leprosy for you."



That's enough for now.

Brandon

 

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I love the Simpsons!

My favourite Homerisms is from when Homer was looking for a new religion:

Homer is at the Qwikimart talking to Apu:

Homer is trying to feed Ganesh, the elephant head god, a peanut.
Apu: "Please do not feed my god peanuts."

Homer late says to Apu: "When they were passing out religions, you guys must have been out taking a whiz."
Apu:"Buy something and don't come back."

 

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My mommy says Im not allowed in the deep end of the sand box, cause thats where the leprachaun is and he tells me to burn things.

 

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i already posted here but i thought do it again
Mr.Burns: Stroke,Stroke,Stroke,Stroke.
Apu: but iam rowing as fast as i can, sir
Mr.Burns: No i am having one

 

Lisa IN this house we obey the laws of THERMODYNAMICS!

 

"It tastes like buuuuuurning"
"Ms. Hoover, I ate my red crayon"
"I choo-choo-cho-choooose you"
-Ralph

 

is the simpson's springfield in northern Kentucky?

 

it doesnt exist anywhere, too many contradictions in the show

 

i dunno what this epsiode is from
Homer: Hello operator what the number of 911

 

I can't believe no one posted this, it makes me laugh every time I hear it and want to actually be able to use it one day

Patterson: Sorry I'm late... SOMEONE cut my brakes.
Homer: Then shouldn't you have been early.

 

Bart: "I didn't know you could play the guitar, otto man!"
Otto: "I learned while I was in college, my dad thought it was a waste of time, but look at me now!"

.. A school bus-driver. =p

Bart: "I am él bartó!"
Homer: "Well, I am él hómó!"

 

Sideshow Bob: No! It's German! It says The Bart, The.
Parole board woman: No-one who speaks German could possibly be evil!

Agnes: Seymour, are you looking at naked ladies on the Internet?
Seymour: Of course not, mother!
Agnes: Sissy!

 

Willy: I cannot fit into a wee vent, you croquet-playing mitt-muncher!
Skinner: Grease your self up and go in, you... you guff-speaking work-slacker.
Willy: Ooh, good comeback.

 

Homer: It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in eight hours of TV a day.

Kinda sums up the modern way of life, for me...

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Kent Brockman " Some poeple are calling this a meltdown"

Mr Burns " I like to call it an unrequested, excessive fusion incident"

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Mors is right.. Springfield is in northern Kentucky. the announcer said it in the VH1 "Behind the Laughter" episode back in the day.

and with that cleared up, my two favourite quotes are:

Sideshow Bob: "You want the truth?! You can't handle the truth! I deride your truth-handling ability! No truth-handler you!"

Lunch Lady Doris: "They even got Groundskeeper Willy to teach French.."
Grounds Keeper Willy: "Bonjouuurrrrrr, ya cheese-eatin' surrender monkeys!"

 

Commercial from Moe's Family Feed Bag: We can deep-fry an entire cow in 45 seconds.
Homer: Forty-five seconds? But I want it now!

 

I don't remember the whole quote, but I do recall Reverend Lovejoy inviting the congregation to enjoy "...the gospel sounds of Testament."

And as Ralph is being carried off by a wolf:
"Your breath smells like dead bunnies."

"ZOMBIEEEEEEEES!"
"Please, Lisa. They prefer to be called the Living Impaired."

 

Oh yeah...

"PINCHY! PI-I-I-INCHY! (Mmm, pass the butter...) PI-I-I-I-INCHY!"

 

sea captain: Call me back Ishmael -

homer : I know. And this perpetual motion machine she made
today is a joke! It just keeps going faster and faster.

... I'm with you, Marge. Lisa! Get in here.
[Lisa walks in, chuckling nervously]
In this house, we obey the laws of thermodynamics!

taken from a website:
"Springfield does not exist. Its location is a running gag,
no more.

There is enough evidence in the existing 335+ episodes of
The Simpsons to preclude Springfield's placement in ANY
American state. There are so many geographical
contradictions between episodes that it is impossible for
Springfield to actually exist.

This has now become a running gag among both the writers of
the show and its fans. In the show, references to
Springfield's precise location are always artfully
hidden, usually for comic effect:

This scene, from a preliminary script to "Brother, Can
You Spare Two Dimes" demonstrates the proper attitude to
have towards the issue.

Scene: A train station. Herbert Powell is at the
ticket booth.

Herb: I want a ticket to Springfield.
Ticket Agent: Springfield, Illinois?
Herb: No.
Ticket Agent: Springfield, Massachusetts?
Herb: No, Springfield...

As Herb says the name of the state, a train whistle
blows, preventing us from hearing the answer.

Springfield is "Anytown, USA". It's as if all of America was
compressed into a single town, or a single state."