Bashing republican\democrats thread

if it is right on the money, give me some examples that show it. it is only right on the money if rush limbaugh is the man who defines what is right on the money.

are you in touch with reality at all? do you honestly believe everything that right wing radio tells you? have you ever reflected or thought deeply or tried to find any correlations between this crap and reality?

 

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Mayor of ...?

It's an interesting peek inside the conservative mind. Such simplifications are what we should expect.

("Generalization is the in thing to do. It's fun and it's easy for the empty-headed fool." - paraphrased from Chemistry Set, a defunct Seattle-area band.)

I mean, no conservative I've yet met is creative enough to go delving into an obscure but briefly-famous Canadian pop band that, in making a silly song about the culture around them, accidentally tapped into something that is American liberalism's quiet problem. Hint: they opened for Duran Duran once upon a time. (On Edit - Hint #2: the album was produced by Todd Rundgren.)

 

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Brutus1964

where is the disscussion?

 

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Asguard

I posted the Liberal Dictionary to add some humor into the debate. Humor always has a ring of truth to be funny. I think this thread could be used to discuss buzz words and euphemisms on both sides. liberals should add their own words to describe their view of conservatives, and other conservatives can add their own to the list. It could be fun.

 

It's not particularly humorous, Brutus. Many conservatives actually believe that shit. Did you happen to check the infamous red and blue map? Compare the result to the substance of the campaigns, and you'll find what you've posted is actually a stereotype of conservative idiocy. As a joke, it's a "Be Sharp" joke:

But don't worry, it's not just conservatives I pick on for this. It's the reason I don't like most stand-up comedy. Seinfeld was especially notorious. Routines like "If Dogs Had Pockets" and "Laundry Party" were, in fact, rather quite funny when they first hit the scene. But then there's that whole genre of jokes that, while Jerry didn't invent them, he did draw applause for. The classic example is, I think, a parody of Seinfeld; something about glue not sticking to the bottle. I'm more forgiving of Jerry of late. He can't be held responsible for the idiocy of the audience, although there is a clear lesson to be learned about lowering the bar for sarcasm's sake. After all, among my reading at present is George Carlin's When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? and several of his jokes are constructed on nonexistent foundations. It's a method of presentation that relies on the sympathies of the ignorant. There is, of course, an answer to why glue doesn't stick to the inside of the bottle: look carefully, and you'll find most glue doesn't stick to the particular material the bottle is made of. Elmer's glue, for instance, isn't that great for plastics. But the irony of the question is cute, and it's easier to laugh than it is to undertake even the most basic considerations of the proposition put before them.

The same with the "Liberal Dictionary".

And sometimes being accurate is a lot easier, too:

A Conservative Dictionary

• "Threat to society" - (1) A single mother; (2) a homosexual; (3) artists; (4) liberals
• "Threat to national security" - (1) Dark skin; (2) non-Christians; (3) liberals
• "Murder" - Abortion
• "Homicide" - Murder
• "Justice" - Homicide
• "Peace" - War, somewhere else
• "Terrorism" - (1) Political coercion through violence; (2) disagreeing with government policy
• "Terrorist" - (1) Arab male; (2) Muslim; (3) schoolteacher
• "Movie" - Sworn testimony
• "Increased standard of living" - People other than the self working longer hours for less money​

Sure, it's a silly list, but it's more accurate.

There's a scene in the Power Puff Girls Movie when the girls, realizing they have been deceived, appeal to Jojo: "This isn't making the town a better place!" And Jojo replies, "Yes it is. For me!"

Right there is the key to understanding conservative rhetoric: a cartoon monkey with an attitude problem.

Kind of like the White House, now that I think about it.

It was your declaration that the dictionary was "right on the money" that has people befuddled. Please understand, if we doubt history according to conservatives, we're just being liberal elitists. If we take you seriously and address our concerns, we're just being liberal elitists who have no sense of humor. If we take it as a joke, we're just liberal elitists who are being disrespectful.

After all, that's pretty much the conservative definition of dissent: disrespectful elitism.

Seriously, maybe you don't realize how many of your red-state neighbors actually believe such crap as the terms spelled out in that dictionary. And it does affect their decision-making.

But it's their right. They have no compelling reason under the sun to change. That people conform to such ignorance is the only solution some conservatives understand. Of course, life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness are just mucky-muck liberal elitism, right?

 

Or it creates a bunch of strawmen that hold no purpose in a serious discussion such as you did.

Come on - "Civil Liberties- Rights that are given and can be easily revoked by the government" - neither funny nor true nor constructive.

 

obstructionist -- someone who disagrees with bush
unpatriotic -- disagreeing with bush
hates freedom -- disagrees with bush

by the way brutus, the reason it is hard to see your "humor" is because your self righteous attitude about this crap being right on the money. that isnt going to lead to any positive discussion about political parties using distorted phrases to manipulate the ignorant. it shows that you actually believe that crap and not leaving much room for discussion

 

Without the House, Senate, White House, most govenorships and state legislatures, the liberals have no sense of humor. They've lost style.

Let it go, Brutus, "Cast not your pearls before......"

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This is hilarious! I especially like this one: "Racist/Bigot/Homophobe/Nazi/Fascist- Anyone winning an arguement against a liberal." I have been accused of this in other threads, so I can relate to it.

Conservative- Someone who wants to starve children and old people, destroy the environment, shoot everyone with their assault gun, run over others with their SUV, dump toxic waste in everyone else's swimming pool, and become one of The Richest 1% of Taxpayers.
Come on. I can take a joke. Why can't you?

Accurate schmaccurate. The liberal dictionary is a joke, not meant to be taken as a literal statement.

If every joke had to be "truthful" to be funny, there would be surprisingly few comedians.

Great idea for a thread, Brutus! Too bad so many libs disagree.

Here are some new ones:
equality - special treatment toward anyone who is not a white male.

oppression - a fictional quality intrinsic to a society where a white male exists.

political correctness - "newspeak" (thanks, Orwell!)

ACLU - Anti-Christian Liberals Union

 

The biggest problem I have with this list is that it really seems to be derived from some very old and outdated forms of conservative rhetoric. Maybe these ideas would have been more appropriate during the Carter administration? I don't know, I wasn't there at the time!

Pay close attention to anything that referees to "Growing government", "illegal aliens" (Mexicans in particular), any sentiment accusing lack of bipartisanship, and eroding civil rights, and what you've got are all things that could be put into "The Bush Administration Dictionary" Here's a few I can pick out in a quick skim through:

Truth- A bit of information which is manipulated into what [conservatives] want you to think

Civil Liberties- Rights that are given and can be easily revoked by the government

Government Growth- Prosperity

Mexico- A reserve of convenient votes to be tapped as necessary.

Undocumented Immigrant- Illegal aliens

Bipartisanship- When [liberals] give in to everything [conservatives] want

Compromise- When [liberals] do everything [conservatives] want

The Constitution- A document written by a bunch of Dead White Males that needs to become a "living document" every time [conservatives] don't get their way, and followed to the letter when they do.

That’s some old school rhetoric! Most of it doesn’t make a lot of sense in today’s political climate, nor would it have under Clinton. But then, I guess it’s kind of beyond a conservative thinker to actually update his ideas about the way the political arena is really set up. Sticking stubbornly to outdated and ridiculous points of view which in no way fit the contemporary situation is kind of what they do, isn’t it?

Addressing sciforum’s very own Hitler youth (harhar i so liberal):

Yes, but then you're also a very strange indoctrinated little boy. Don't worry, I used to think I was clever too when I was about your age and used to listen to Rush Limbaugh with my father. You’ll grow out of it, and maybe even become a tolerable human being.

I've heard sentiments like this before, and frankly I just can't wrap my mind around how anyone could make such an accusation of an organization that rushes to the legal aid of Jerry Falwell and those annoying evangelical Christian groups that prey on frightened freshmen on college campuses.

If you genuinely have a problem with the ACLU, then you likely have a problem with the first amendment. Either that or you don't really follow the news, and your only understanding of the group is what you've heard from Bill O'Reilly.

 

Yes I agree liberals have no sense of humor. That is why they cannot make it in talk radio. Here are some of my own.

Old women at airports - Potential terrorists

Children at airports - Potential terrorists

Young Muslim Arab males at airports - Don't even think about them being potential terrorists and wave them through unchecked to avoid the very appearance of racial profiling.

Terrorist - Misunderstood freedom fighter

Tolerance - Accepting everyone except for white Christian males, and conservatives.

Fetus - Unviable tissue mass.

Education - 1) Reprogramming a conservative to become a liberal.

Education - 2) Method of growing the next generation of liberals.

Education - 3) Primary purpose is to provide jobs for teachers.

Education - 4) To be used as a club to extort more tax money from the public.

Choice - Only when it comes to abortion. Never to be used in connection with education or government programs.

Children - 1) Inconveniences that are best when there are as few as possible.

Children - 2) To be used to extort more tax money from the public.

Children - 3) To be deprogrammed away from parents forced indoctrination.

Abortion - The most sacred of human rights. Must be allowed for any reason up to the time of delivery.

Taxes – 1) The only moral form of money.

Taxes – 2) Method of social engineering.

Snowstorm – Evidence of global warming.

Global warming – Caused by the evil United States and capitalism. It’s only cure is world socialism.

United States – The most evil, vile, immoral, corrupt, racist, backwards nation that has ever been conceived by man.

The French – The most highly evolved form of man. The enlightened that must be emulated by everyone.

The UN – 1) Superior to the United States, and should be used to check and regulate the power of the US.

The UN – 2) Greatest of all organizations that can do no wrong.

 

http://www.airamericaradio.com/listen.asp Listen to Franken and the Randy Rhods show and then tell me there's no humor! Uuum try to stay away from Mike Maloy, though, I mean there's humor there, but not because you're laughing with him.

Also NPR has been around forever, but I don't think that that does much for the humor argument.

Pretty scary stuff. Am I to believe that every time you have felt slightly confused or burned, or told to feel offended by someone else's opinion that it is some sort of endemic liberal plot to assault your values?

 

Liberals have no sense of humor?

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http://www.cafepress.com/landoverbaptist.14755922

And don't forget to check out all of Landover Baptists site, http://www.landoverbaptist.org/ .

The Onion is possibly the funniest website out there, www.theonion.com . Certainly more liberal than conservative.

Don't forget www.bartcop.com .
Quote of the Day

"CNN says Iraqi voters are confused by the
complicated ballots. Expect a percentage of
the vote to go to Pat Buchanan."
--Bob Cesca, on the sham election in Iraq

In what parallel universe do conservatives have anything approaching The Daily Show with Jon Stewart?

Robin Williams? Liberal. George Carlin? Liberal. Most of Monty Python would be/ would have been described as more liberal than conservative. The list could go on and on, but you aren't worth that much of my time.

In all of my hundreds of hours of listening to conservative talk radio, I never once heard anything approaching funny. They all seem to be stuck at the Johnny Fuckerfaster stage of humor.

 

Yes liberals can be very funny, but not when the humor is directed at them. They have no sense of humor at all when it comes to their own politics. Conservatives on the other hand can laugh at themselves. I do enjoy reading the Onion and other satirical websites and always have a good laugh even when it is aimed at conservatives.

I am a huge Monte Python fan and enjoy George Carlin when he is not being crude. I think that most comedians are funnier when they are on regular TV because they cannot rely on obscenities and vulgarity to get laughs.

 

Oh! political humor or conservatives dictionnaries; You claim we have no humor? Ghost we outweigh conservtives of humor; This pundit that is the president is the one sob that has been made more fun off than any other president in the past 30 years.

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Godless.

 

If you talley up the late-night TV show jokes, Clinton is way and far the leader in joke butts. Five years after he's been gone, he still got zinged on Leno last night!

 

And ya! I agree it's a good post; lets poke fun at one another while we still have the freedom to do so

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Though however the times of desent are going to get shorter as the (neo-conservatives) are in charge these things will be considered a hate crime; thus we could be spending time in jail for spreading bad influence or the truth about the neo-conservatives. I give you the Conservative Dictionary:

http://www.turnleft.com/condef.html

well there you have it; study it well.

Godless.

Please stop posting large blocks of copied text, read the forum rules

 

The networks on tv Marv? R you kidding? these sob's are scared to joke about the Emperor, they would loose their freaking jobs, they would get their records burned, if Clear Channel plays them on their radio stations they would get banned, however in INDEPENDENT media, the one looser is always made fun off and that one just happens to be the pundit in the WH.

Godless.

 

Come on, Rubiks. I can read. Why can't you?

Do you realize you quoted the answer to your own question?

Think of it in a politically-neutral sense. There's a crude saying to be heard in pool halls and taverns from time to time; I heard it more when I lived in Oregon than I do in Seattle, though that could simply be the times and not anything specific about the intellectual environment. But the saying said of a young girl with a tight ass and budding breasts, "If she's old enough to bleed, she's old enough to breed." Aside from being a vulgar statement of fact, it is, in fact, a humorously-intended excuse for lusting schoolchildren. A cosmopolitan stereotype holds that in the deep south, the saying goes, "If she's old enough to pee, she's old enough for me."

And it's such a ridiculous phrase, it's generally not worth lecturing someone over. But it's not particularly funny to the people who have lived on the receiving end of that arrangement: some of the people who say such phrases actually believe them.

Around 1990, a community-service class I took in Catholic high school attempted to prepare us for potential challenges we might face in the field, including proper professional conduct if a child revealed some form of abuse. In those lectures it came out that at the time, King County (Seattle), Washington was the third-highest reporting county in the nation for per capita child sexual abuse.

In that sense, there's a reason we don't tell those jokes up here.

The longer answer to your question, including text you didn't quote:

And then, of course, I explained what a "Be Sharp" joke was.

Furthermore, I even explained an historical consideration on such humor:

In other words, the joke had some humorous value at one time, but the stereotypes involved are generally moldy. Such definitions lost their comedic value over a decade ago, unless of course you're Dennis Miller.

The problem with such humor in politics today is that, like the glue joke, it's easier to simply chuckle and accept it than it is to think for a few seconds. And were it merely that, it would be fine. But it's not merely that. People make decisions that affect other people on the basis of these myths.

Deriving what I consider an incorrect conclusion from accurate facts is an expected human condition. But insisting on inaccurate facts in order to pass off shallow presupposition as a factually-derived conclusion is problematic.

But it's okay. If the Bush administration fulfills its vengeance against the Constitution, "middle America" can always blame the Democrats for not doing enough to stop it.

Such is the curse of having better ideas. We can't force people to believe, and it's really hard to explain logic to someone who won't listen.

In the meantime, such stubborn ignorance is dragging down the rest of the country, and the world, with it.

If conservatives want to be perceived as having more to say than just the silliness of that "joke" (that was "right on the money"), they ought to try offering it. People can't buy what's not for sale.

Two counterpoints should suffice:

(A) This is not necessarily a bad outcome.
(B) Is it possible that, as nature abhors a vacuum, it might just turn out that comedians tell better jokes?​

 

Ah just remembered a joke I heard this morning;

G.W. Has a long dream, in his dream he dreams of George Washington so Bush asks; "What can I do to become a better president?". George Washington aswers "Do everything you can for America, make it prosper." in another segment of the same dream he meets Thomas Jefferson so Bush asks;"What can I do to become a better president?" Thomas Jefferson tells him to do more for the people give lots of tax breaks, IRS reforms, better welfare system, take care of Social Security". Then he dreams with Abe Lincoln, and Bush asks"What can I do to be a better president" Abe answers "Go to the theater".

Godless.