Whats the...

Discussion in 'Art & Culture' started by kornrulz, Feb 6, 2005.

  1. kornrulz Satan is a Nerd Registered Senior Member

    Messages:
    98
    ...funniest song you've ever heard? For me it's "The Bum Bum Song", by Tom Green
     
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  3. sargentlard Save the whales motherfucker Valued Senior Member

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    6,698
    "Not a girl, not yet a woman" by Britney Spears
     
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  5. strawberrykisses Registered Member

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    11
    ..I like big butts and I cannot lie...(Baby got back)
    Awesome song. By Sir Mixalot
     
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  7. Insanely Elite Questions reality. Registered Senior Member

    Messages:
    360
    'If I had a penis'- cranberries (i think) Rofl

    And a song from the 80's I don't recall the name but it was a litany of sticking items up your butt "stick a rabbit up your butt, stick a pencil up your butt, etc."

    Oh and the more popular "Attitude ajustment"
     
  8. spidergoat pubic diorama Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    54,036
    Insanely Elite,
    the butt song is by Eddie Murphy, I was going to say that, too!
     
  9. Insanely Elite Questions reality. Registered Senior Member

    Messages:
    360
    Thanks spidergoat.
    I was an adolecent at the time of the butt song. - I never knew the words but the tun was so simple I'd sing that song silly with anything that came to mind.

    Also, nearly any christmas song from Dr. Demento is pretty funny too
     
  10. Gambit Star Universal Entity Registered Senior Member

    Messages:
    317
    mine would have to be from one of Tom Greens segment

    " kiki and the TV cans on the tree "

    if anyone wants to see this, you have to download the clip, you cannot miss the movie clip ! funny shit
     
  11. invert_nexus Ze do caixao Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    9,686
    My daddy was an astronaut
    by The Naked Trucker and T-Bone.

    I heard this years ago on the Conan Obrien show and think about it from time to time but never thought to look for it. I know that the guy that sang is is a comedy performer. He was on SNL for a while (might still be on.) It was funny as hell. If anyone knows where I could find this song that would be friggin sweet.

    I found the lyrics online so I'll go ahead and post them.

    Naked Trucker: aww yeah hello folks how you doing hey listen heres a couple questions were are asked often,"whats your deal?", usually followed by,"seriously whats your deal?" Well we like to answer those the best we can in song. T bones.

    T bone: Thanks trucker
    You know folks i grew up in a quiet city
    as a bastard
    and kids was pretty mean to me
    so one day i said,"mama, who's my daddy?"
    and she said,"well sweety, it could be any number of gentleman from the mercury, gemini or apollo space program"
    so this one goes out to my daddy.....maybe.

    *music starts playing*
    you knocked up mommy then you went away
    never had anyone to play ball with me
    she had a baby but you never knew
    got a feeling that it haunted you,
    am i a boy or a girl? --I'm a boy

    you know kids can be mean and cruel
    called me bastard everyday at school
    then they stopped --i hit them with a bike chain

    where were you when i was a scout?
    I acted up and i got kicked out
    --he put his hands on me

    where were you when i was a teenager
    grown man would stand around and wager
    they made me fight a dog --i won

    my daddy is an astrouanut
    he meant to come back but i guess he forgot
    my daddy has been to the moon
    mama said he's coming back real soon

    where were you on graduation day
    --alright i wasn't there either
    -- anyway-- i didnt get no car

    where were you for my first beer
    i got drunk and I hit a deer
    --i punched him he was tryin to stare me down

    where were you when i was in jail
    they said an astronaut had made my bail
    --and a cowboy,fireman, indian cheif, ships captain wrecked out all on the reef
    --tHeY wAs MaKiNG FuN oF mE!!!

    if i ever get a chance to meet my ole man i'm gonna ask him a few questions (have you seen him?)
    huh? (tell me have you seen him?)
    Daddy, does cancer run in our family?
    I have a sweet tooth, do you like candy? (have you seen him?)
    Hey up on that moon, did you think about me? (tell me have you seen him?)
    In them spacesuits, where did ya'll pee?
    One of these days i'm gonna have to come after you,
    you's got a lots of child support due. (have you seen him?)
    huh? (tell me have you seen him?)

    my daddy is an astrouanut
    he meant to come back but i guess he forgot
    my daddy has been to the moon
    mama said he's coming back real soon

    I will be waiting under the christmas tree
    but it aint santa that i wanna see
    hey dad i wanna see you
    i was kinda hoping you wanna see me too.
     
  12. cosmictraveler Be kind to yourself always. Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    33,264
    Reverend Billy C. Wirtz
    Discography


    Deep Fried And Sanctified
    Original Release Date: 1989
    Wea/Atlantic/Rhino/Hightone


    Backslider's Tractor Pull
    Original Release Date: 1990
    Wea/Atlantic/Rhino/Hightone


    Turn For The Wirtz: Confessions Of A Hillbilly Love-God
    Original Release Date: 1992
    Wea/Atlantic/Rhino/Hightone

    Pianist Envy
    Original Release Date: 1994
    Wea/Atlantic/Rhino/Hightone


    Songs Of Faith And Inflammation
    Original Release Date: 1996
    Wea/Atlantic/Rhino/Hightone



    Unchained Maladies
    Original Release Date: 1998
    Wea/Atlantic/Rhino/Hightone


    Rib Ticklin'
    Songs Inspired by the Memphis In May World Championship Barbecue Cooking Contest
    Original Release Date: 2000
    Memphis In May International Festival, Inc./King Snake


    The Best Of The Wirtz
    15 Years on the Road with a 77" Pianist
    Original Release Date: 2001
    Hightone Records


    Rev. Elation
    Rev. Billy C. Wirtz Live At Fitzgerald's Chicago
    Original Release Date 2003
    Rest Stop Records

    Most of Billies recordings are very funny but full of vulgarity so that's why you don't hear of him to much.
     
  13. spidergoat pubic diorama Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    54,036
    I'm looking for Henrietta Collins and the Wifebeating Childhater's album "Drive-by Shooting", it was the funniest thing I ever heard in college.
     
  14. spidergoat pubic diorama Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    54,036
    Also, try to find anything by Wesley Willis, a semi-retarted songwriter who accompanies himself on the Casio keyboard. The songs and lyrics are insane, like "I Kicked Batman's Ass", and:

    You are a rockin' maniac.
    You are a singin' hyena.
    You are a rock star in Jesus' name.
    You can really rock Sadam Hussein's ass.
    You are so lovable to me in the long run.
    ALANIS MORISSETTE!
    ALANIS MORISSETTE!
    ALANIS MORISSETTE!
    ALANIS MORISSETTE!

    Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!


    Oh, and he weighs 300 pounds.
     
  15. Perfect Masturbation without hands Registered Senior Member

    Messages:
    293
    I'd like to contribute a song from an actual talent.
    Frank Zappa: Broken hearts are for assholes. ( fuck Van halen - Zappa invented tremolo soloing.. not Halen )

    Hey! do you know what you are?
    You’re an asshole! an asshole!

    Some of you might not agree
    ’cause you probably likes a lot of misery
    But think a while and you will see...
    Broken hearts are for assholes
    Broken hearts are for assholes
    Are you an asshole?
    Broken hearts are for assholes
    Are you an asshole too?
    Whatcha gonna do, ’cause you’re an asshole...

    Maybe you think you’re a lonely guy
    Maybe you think you’re too tough to cry
    So you went to the grape,
    Just to give it a try
    And dagmar
    Without a doubt, the ugliest sonofabitch I ever saw in my life
    Was his name...
    One two three four!
    The whiskers sticking out from underneath of his
    Pancake make-up
    And yet he was a beautiful lady
    Nearly drove you insane
    Let’s talk about leather: leatherrrrrr
    And so you kissed a little sailor
    Tex abel, starring in the latest shepperton production:
    Who had just blew in from spain
    Sir richard pump-a-loaf
    You sniffed the reeking buns of angel
    The story of a demented bread-boffer
    And acted like it was cocaine
    Cucumber pud annexed to a fine whole-wheat loaf
    You were dazzled by the exciting new costume of ko-ko
    Then on tuesday night, ceasar’s back in town
    In a way you can’t explain
    Facing off in a no-holds-barred tag team grudge match
    With kona.
    And so you worked the wall with michael
    Three-hundred-seventy-nine pounds of samoan dynamite
    Which gave your back an awful strain
    Volcanic hell
    But you came back on sunday for the gong show
    Next thursday, teen town’s finest...
    But you forgot what I was sayin’
    ’cause you’re an asshole, you’re an asshole
    That’s right
    You’re an asshole, you’re an asshole
    Yes, yes
    You’re an asshole, you’re an asshole
    That’s right
    You’re an asshole, you’re an asshole

    Now you been to the grape ’n’ you been to the chest
    ’n’ now I think you know what you are: you’re an asshole

    You say you can’t live with what you been through
    Well, ladies you can be an asshole too
    You might pretend you ain’t got one on the bottom of you,
    But don’t fool yerself girl
    It’s lookin’ at you
    Don’t fool yerself girl
    It’s winkin’ at you
    Don’t fool yerself girl
    It’s blinkin’ at you
    That’s why I say
    I’m gonna ram it, ram it, ram it
    Ram it up yer poop chute
    Corn hole
    Ram it, ram it, ram it
    Ram it up yer poop chute
    Fist fuck
    Ram it, ram it, ram it
    Ram it up yer poop chute
    Wrist-watch; crisco
    Ram it, ram it, ram it
    Ram it up yer poop chute
    Pud!

    Don’t fool yerself, girl
    It’s goin’ right up yer poop chute
    Don’t fool yerself, girl
    It’s goin’ right up yer poop chute
    (etc., repeats)

    Aw, I knew you’d be surprised...
     
  16. invert_nexus Ze do caixao Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    9,686
    I Like Big Tits by Joe Walsh

    You see 'em on the street, left and right
    I like big tits, That's right.
    I try to look away, but I can't resist
    Every time, I try to call it quits
    Here come some tits. Uh huh.
    That's a big 10-4 big tits, uh huh.

    Well they come in twos, so hard to choose
    your favorite tit
    I like tits for dinner, or a noon time snack
    I like tits for lunch, a big tit attack
    I like tits for breakfast, eggs benedict tits.

    They're where it's at ...tits

    They give me shivers when they bounce around
    buckled up or draggin on the ground
    how 'bout those tits
     
  17. Quailman Registered Member

    Messages:
    19
    Lustra - Scotty Doesn't Know

    After hearing it in Eurotrip, I came to find it somewhat funny.
     

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