'If I had a penis'- cranberries (i think) Rofl And a song from the 80's I don't recall the name but it was a litany of sticking items up your butt "stick a rabbit up your butt, stick a pencil up your butt, etc." Oh and the more popular "Attitude ajustment"
Thanks spidergoat. I was an adolecent at the time of the butt song. - I never knew the words but the tun was so simple I'd sing that song silly with anything that came to mind. Also, nearly any christmas song from Dr. Demento is pretty funny too
mine would have to be from one of Tom Greens segment " kiki and the TV cans on the tree " if anyone wants to see this, you have to download the clip, you cannot miss the movie clip ! funny shit
My daddy was an astronaut by The Naked Trucker and T-Bone. I heard this years ago on the Conan Obrien show and think about it from time to time but never thought to look for it. I know that the guy that sang is is a comedy performer. He was on SNL for a while (might still be on.) It was funny as hell. If anyone knows where I could find this song that would be friggin sweet. I found the lyrics online so I'll go ahead and post them. Naked Trucker: aww yeah hello folks how you doing hey listen heres a couple questions were are asked often,"whats your deal?", usually followed by,"seriously whats your deal?" Well we like to answer those the best we can in song. T bones. T bone: Thanks trucker You know folks i grew up in a quiet city as a bastard and kids was pretty mean to me so one day i said,"mama, who's my daddy?" and she said,"well sweety, it could be any number of gentleman from the mercury, gemini or apollo space program" so this one goes out to my daddy.....maybe. *music starts playing* you knocked up mommy then you went away never had anyone to play ball with me she had a baby but you never knew got a feeling that it haunted you, am i a boy or a girl? --I'm a boy you know kids can be mean and cruel called me bastard everyday at school then they stopped --i hit them with a bike chain where were you when i was a scout? I acted up and i got kicked out --he put his hands on me where were you when i was a teenager grown man would stand around and wager they made me fight a dog --i won my daddy is an astrouanut he meant to come back but i guess he forgot my daddy has been to the moon mama said he's coming back real soon where were you on graduation day --alright i wasn't there either -- anyway-- i didnt get no car where were you for my first beer i got drunk and I hit a deer --i punched him he was tryin to stare me down where were you when i was in jail they said an astronaut had made my bail --and a cowboy,fireman, indian cheif, ships captain wrecked out all on the reef --tHeY wAs MaKiNG FuN oF mE!!! if i ever get a chance to meet my ole man i'm gonna ask him a few questions (have you seen him?) huh? (tell me have you seen him?) Daddy, does cancer run in our family? I have a sweet tooth, do you like candy? (have you seen him?) Hey up on that moon, did you think about me? (tell me have you seen him?) In them spacesuits, where did ya'll pee? One of these days i'm gonna have to come after you, you's got a lots of child support due. (have you seen him?) huh? (tell me have you seen him?) my daddy is an astrouanut he meant to come back but i guess he forgot my daddy has been to the moon mama said he's coming back real soon I will be waiting under the christmas tree but it aint santa that i wanna see hey dad i wanna see you i was kinda hoping you wanna see me too.
Reverend Billy C. Wirtz Discography Deep Fried And Sanctified Original Release Date: 1989 Wea/Atlantic/Rhino/Hightone Backslider's Tractor Pull Original Release Date: 1990 Wea/Atlantic/Rhino/Hightone Turn For The Wirtz: Confessions Of A Hillbilly Love-God Original Release Date: 1992 Wea/Atlantic/Rhino/Hightone Pianist Envy Original Release Date: 1994 Wea/Atlantic/Rhino/Hightone Songs Of Faith And Inflammation Original Release Date: 1996 Wea/Atlantic/Rhino/Hightone Unchained Maladies Original Release Date: 1998 Wea/Atlantic/Rhino/Hightone Rib Ticklin' Songs Inspired by the Memphis In May World Championship Barbecue Cooking Contest Original Release Date: 2000 Memphis In May International Festival, Inc./King Snake The Best Of The Wirtz 15 Years on the Road with a 77" Pianist Original Release Date: 2001 Hightone Records Rev. Elation Rev. Billy C. Wirtz Live At Fitzgerald's Chicago Original Release Date 2003 Rest Stop Records Most of Billies recordings are very funny but full of vulgarity so that's why you don't hear of him to much.
I'm looking for Henrietta Collins and the Wifebeating Childhater's album "Drive-by Shooting", it was the funniest thing I ever heard in college.
Also, try to find anything by Wesley Willis, a semi-retarted songwriter who accompanies himself on the Casio keyboard. The songs and lyrics are insane, like "I Kicked Batman's Ass", and: You are a rockin' maniac. You are a singin' hyena. You are a rock star in Jesus' name. You can really rock Sadam Hussein's ass. You are so lovable to me in the long run. ALANIS MORISSETTE! ALANIS MORISSETTE! ALANIS MORISSETTE! ALANIS MORISSETTE! Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! Oh, and he weighs 300 pounds.
I'd like to contribute a song from an actual talent. Frank Zappa: Broken hearts are for assholes. ( fuck Van halen - Zappa invented tremolo soloing.. not Halen ) Hey! do you know what you are? You’re an asshole! an asshole! Some of you might not agree ’cause you probably likes a lot of misery But think a while and you will see... Broken hearts are for assholes Broken hearts are for assholes Are you an asshole? Broken hearts are for assholes Are you an asshole too? Whatcha gonna do, ’cause you’re an asshole... Maybe you think you’re a lonely guy Maybe you think you’re too tough to cry So you went to the grape, Just to give it a try And dagmar Without a doubt, the ugliest sonofabitch I ever saw in my life Was his name... One two three four! The whiskers sticking out from underneath of his Pancake make-up And yet he was a beautiful lady Nearly drove you insane Let’s talk about leather: leatherrrrrr And so you kissed a little sailor Tex abel, starring in the latest shepperton production: Who had just blew in from spain Sir richard pump-a-loaf You sniffed the reeking buns of angel The story of a demented bread-boffer And acted like it was cocaine Cucumber pud annexed to a fine whole-wheat loaf You were dazzled by the exciting new costume of ko-ko Then on tuesday night, ceasar’s back in town In a way you can’t explain Facing off in a no-holds-barred tag team grudge match With kona. And so you worked the wall with michael Three-hundred-seventy-nine pounds of samoan dynamite Which gave your back an awful strain Volcanic hell But you came back on sunday for the gong show Next thursday, teen town’s finest... But you forgot what I was sayin’ ’cause you’re an asshole, you’re an asshole That’s right You’re an asshole, you’re an asshole Yes, yes You’re an asshole, you’re an asshole That’s right You’re an asshole, you’re an asshole Now you been to the grape ’n’ you been to the chest ’n’ now I think you know what you are: you’re an asshole You say you can’t live with what you been through Well, ladies you can be an asshole too You might pretend you ain’t got one on the bottom of you, But don’t fool yerself girl It’s lookin’ at you Don’t fool yerself girl It’s winkin’ at you Don’t fool yerself girl It’s blinkin’ at you That’s why I say I’m gonna ram it, ram it, ram it Ram it up yer poop chute Corn hole Ram it, ram it, ram it Ram it up yer poop chute Fist fuck Ram it, ram it, ram it Ram it up yer poop chute Wrist-watch; crisco Ram it, ram it, ram it Ram it up yer poop chute Pud! Don’t fool yerself, girl It’s goin’ right up yer poop chute Don’t fool yerself, girl It’s goin’ right up yer poop chute (etc., repeats) Aw, I knew you’d be surprised...
I Like Big Tits by Joe Walsh You see 'em on the street, left and right I like big tits, That's right. I try to look away, but I can't resist Every time, I try to call it quits Here come some tits. Uh huh. That's a big 10-4 big tits, uh huh. Well they come in twos, so hard to choose your favorite tit I like tits for dinner, or a noon time snack I like tits for lunch, a big tit attack I like tits for breakfast, eggs benedict tits. They're where it's at ...tits They give me shivers when they bounce around buckled up or draggin on the ground how 'bout those tits