Having to work 17 hours a day in my take away back in the 70's, I couldn't make the time to visit my 'herbalist' on the other side of London, so I tried cultivating druggie type customers to help me score a bit of weed or hash. There was one particular guy who used to come into my shop who was always stoned, in fact he often came in with a pal of his and both were normally so stoned that they would lean against each other so that they didn't fall over as they waited for their kebabs. Anyway, one evening the guy came in and he seemed pretty straight for a change, so I got talking to him and asked if he could get me something to smoke. He told me he could get anything I wanted, any time, so I asked if he could get me some Nepalese Temple Balls, which was like the trippiest hash I'd ever tried. The guy said, 'no problem, I'll go and get you some right now'. The guy goes out into the street and hails a cab... I'm thinking, this is my lucky night gonna get stoned with Temple Balls later wow! So I'm looking at the guy and he seems to be arguing with the cab driver... I go outside for a better listen and I can hear the guy demanding that the cab driver takes him to Nepal... Right Now! The cabbie's earnestly going, 'But I don't know where Nepal is mate, you've got to direct me' After a few minutes, the guy comes back to the shop and informs me that the cab driver doesn't know the way Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! What made the whole thing so hilarious was that the guy was totally sincere in what he was trying to do and so was the cab driver in his ignorance of geography. :m:
Ermmm geezer....do you HONESTLY expect a member of the great unwashed to know that Nepal is outside the UK? Aside from that, the cabbie might have thought 'Nepal' was a newly opened club that his dispatcher hadn't yet told him about - although I prefer the 'unwashed' theory. Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! Jaybee.
Gosh, I don't know if I could type a tale this long. It was truely funny. Myself and 4 friends took some shooms and proceeded out for the evening to the local pub. Well I should correct this now. While the total was five four of us partook and we headed off for the pub. We were all in our mid 20s living on our own for the most part with the exception of the driver whom didn't partake. Nice guy, totally harmless lived at home with his parents kind of nieve but super genuine and super stright morally and ethically. Forest Gump. Totally. He was the designated driver. The best there ever was, best there will ever be. Borrowed his parnets car and was driving us down the most beautiful road! Car floating down the road as if we were riding on a cloud. In fact we were. People who lived along the dark road we were traveling had reflectors marking their drive way ends and as we passed the light off the headlights sent them trailing. Orange - Red - Red - Orange. Just awsome the night air was fantastic. Anywho we get parked and go into the pub and hit the beer garden and start some people watching. Drunk people look retarded. Like total fools. Anyway we go inside and are laughing around the bar asking each other various questions standing round a JukeBox. To this day I'm not quite sure how this guy knew or if he did. But were all standing in a circle kind of peering out of eyes laughing when this face of this guy breaks into our huddle and says.... "Spiders! Spiders! Spiders everywhere they're gonna get ya!!!!!" Out of friggin hand our jaws collectively dropped to the ground. We all shook it off pretty well and enjoyed the rest of the night. Get back in the car still reeling. We all light up a smoke cause this kids mom smoked like a fiend so she wouldn't care what the car smelled like. All of a sudden the brightest of red and blue lights engulf the inside of the car. No crap a cop totally crept up on us and set a blaze the inside of that car like a disco. Lights lights lights. I thought I was going to jail for certain. Said out license plate light was out. But ya know good ole Gump got out stright as an arrow and showed the officer in fact the light is on and in perfect working order. It was awsome.
Ive got a few no stories, a few times i got home and had forgoten where i whent, what i did and how i got home.
thia happened years back. i and a mate had taken some shrooms....cant remember where we had been, but i am driving him to his place through tis godforsaken part of town i always am known to get lost in....and i did. so i am driving round and round at aout 3. someting in te early mornin...hardly anothe car,and me with eyes like kalaedoscopes driving round wit dude in back of car..... i know i've gone down a wrong road s i have to turn round right? so i see tis kind of alley way inbetween this very tall building and another one so i go down it and tryand do a 3 point turn anyway i am in a kind of awkward diagnoal car shape and jusr then a police car is comin straight at us!!!!!!!!!!!!! Tripping out of our hears i say to my friend to keep quiet and i will handle i....cause i suppose i can /hVE BEFORE IN OTHER WEIRD SITUATIONS... so they come to the window and knock, and i pull window down. now this cops face is doing all kinds of things and i am trying to act normal and make sure my speech seems norml. i tell them i am 'doin a taxi' for 'my client inthe back' and was just dping a uturn...bla bla....i swear this is what happened. they are really nice and when i drive away they seem an look in the rear view mirror the two cops seem to be waving ua goodbye in in unison.......Only then i realize the tall building is the main police headquarters! we laughed like fool all the way--tll we find where heblived. and we did. that fukin experience straighted me up a bit....hehe
My mate was out for a good night and dropped an LSD tab. After about two hours he felt nothing and was so disappointed he went home early. In his living room he sat quietly fuming when all of a sudden he heard a beautiful classical symphony seemingly coming from nowhere. Nowhere that is until he noticed his huge cheese plant in the corner had millions of multi-coloured semi quavers flowing from its leaves. As if this wasn't good enough as the symphony reached its cresiendo all of the fruit in a bowl on the table stood up and applauded. Now that's a trip!!! Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
wow, seriously i have to many of these to even start mentioning i cant remember half of them, every day of my childhood fromt he age of 12-20 has been a drug tale, i used to sell crack/weed/pills for quite along time most of my friends are drug dealers of some kind, some of my drug experiences have been funny i guess, but damn alot of them have been violent and not funny atall, well i find them funn but most of you would find them disturbing. let me give 2 examples a small funny story first of all, we was all about 13-14 years old in school right, and the teacher was telling us to stop smoking in class, so we got him locked him in the utility closet, and blew weed smoke through the keyhole for about 10-15 mins, he was coughing and shit for ages, was funny when he stepped out after we unlocked it, his face was all red and he was so stoned you dont understand he was all dizzy and shit (its a tiny tiny closet), a more serious story, me and my friend were wieghing up abut 1 kilo of weed, to put into bags and give to our send out street dealers, but 3 guys kicked in the door as we were bagging it up, and tried to rob our shit pulling out big blades trying to intimidate us, but my friend pulled out his 9mm and popped off a few shots at them one of them got hit in the gut and they fled with nothing, drug tales for me range from mild and funny, to serious and not so humorous. peace.
im a newly qualified personal trainer, with YMCA fit group in london, and i teach martial arts to select people, i dont do classes i teach real combat situation. ie body conditioning, mental awareness when defending yourself in situations, defusing the situation before it becomes violent, defending against blades, using self defence weapons, fighting off multiple attackers, i study shaolin gong fu, taiji, systema, and muay thai myself, i work part time night shifts aswell, just regular manual labour (very heavy lifting) its 14£ an hour ad is a very good workout, i do this for extra cash my personal training does pay well like £40-£50 ph but i dont do this every day, i dont sell drugs anymore i stopped that awhile ago, but i still fund and put money into drug buisness that my friends/associates run in east london, peace,
I have a lot of old drug memories too. Lots of fond times involving being young, having friends, fewer responsibilities, hanging around playgrounds at 3 in the morning, and getting fuuuuuuuucked up. In a way, I miss those times--I miss the euphoria.... but I definately wouldn't trade it for my current life. I definately couldn't handle quitting smoking (cigarettes) again. I do not relish the sensation of going to work after having tripped balls all night long. I hate feeling like I'm drained and struggling. I hate feeling like I talked too much the night before or made an ass out of myself. Of course, my only vice nowadays is drinking fancy microbrews every weekend, but-- but enough with the 'retired stoner' disclaimer. Back in the good ol days, I used to have a nihilist best friend that would occasionally huff butane. One night, we were at this restaurant that was a sort of hangout for all the people that you see out late--- like your ecletic mix of young people with weird colored hair, musicians, homeless people, maybe 3 or four legit patrons that were out late for one reason or another---- mostly for people to loiter, smoke 5000 cigarettes, and yack about nothing. Well my friend had been indulging in butane one night, and while we (me and a couple of other people) are sitting at the table, I guess he was inspired, and decided to impress us. The waiter comes by to refill coffee/water, and just as he's walking off, my friend (who was sorta crouched down in the corner seat taking a big huff from the aresol can) suddenly sits up, flicks on his lighter, exhales, and blows this gigantic 5 foot fireball. The funny thing about it was the waiter had his back towards us, and I'm sure all he saw was this really bright orange flash-but he spun around and had this look like he wasn't sure what just happened. The other people at the restaurant that did see us had this awed look on their faces. Of course, the rest of us sitting at the table were just laughing hystericly. The waiter walked up later and asked 'uh-- any of you guys see a big fireball?" That line bas been a running joke with him for years ever since.
