Redarmy Diktat!

not true.
im a troll, and i never had a goat. in fact, i had a dancing jesus at that time.

 

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A bunch of other trolls had a moving goat. You must have missed out on that one.

 

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We're united against trolls. They just try to get your goat.

 

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no, i didnt miss out.
goats are stupid.

 

I laughed out loud when I tried to read this. Not because I'm mean, I know you had that accident. But those words are just so funny, in a kool way.

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STEAL THE COPLPOSTENES! AND DON'T FORGET THE MTCAHES AND GASOILN!

 

That's impossible.

You don't have a lady.

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right now, she is standing behind me, singing "Rock Me, Dr. Zaius!", actually.

edit: the song has now changed to "Cherry Pie" by Warrant.
ha!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Warrant_(American_band)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GdDxz2bkfhE

 

Well, I'll drink to that.

 

The foreign insurgent lixluke has infiltrated our Glorious Revolution to destroy it from within. As a collective we Work Hard and We can't Afford to give Out Handouts to Insurgents.

There can only be one Glorious Leader. The one that Does Not Speak. He is Unhappy about Current Events.

Our Glorious Leader Weeps for Our Sins and Petty squabbles in his Perfection.

OH Leader, We are Not Worthy. We will Serve in Silence and by Serving you with the Written Word of Righteous Justice.

I Swear Allegiance to Our Leader Till Death Comes And ends My Commitment to the GLorious RevolUtioN!

REDARMY DIKTAT!!

 

Is this what it felt like to be a member of a forum in the soviet union??

 

Is he unhappy about current events as in this or with current events on the red army diktat front?
:shrug:

 

The Mystery is Thick Around Our Teacher, Leader and Best Friend.

 

<Footsteps and loud, breathless panting...>

Trolls... vandals... messiahs... Mars lovers... those who do not understand our credo... and GeoffP,

YOU ARE ALL IDOITS , BUT YOU ARE MY IDOITS !!!

<Cheering; gunshots; sudden, deafening silence>

Brothers, I must begin by apologising for my most untimely arrival. As I'm sure you can appreciate, signing fistfuls of death warrants is a terribly tedious task and I'm afraid I woke only a little while ago to find that I'd rather fallen asleep. Consequently, draqon, Absane, lixluke and the other enemies of our Glorious Revolution still live. Some of these traitors have even infiltrated our very ranks, and may even now stand among you. But time is money, brothers, and so I shall attend to these and other matters later.

But now, my brothers: we have to prepare. Brothers, we have come so far... but there is still much to do. Did any of you think to bring gnus? Mtcahes? Gasoiln? What about coplpostenes and epmty btotles? Not to mention tea, milk and sugar? And what are we to drink it out of, my brothers? Did anyone have the foresight to bring cups? Spoons!??? Brothers, the road to victory will be long and hard, and we shall not get anywhere without firearms and essential tea-making equipment.

But enough of this introductory preamble: to business. The worrying preponderance of kittens dominating [enc]Current events[/enc] means that we must now act, and act quickly. So here, without further delay; without further procrastination; without any further circumlocution, sesquipedalianism or unnecessarily long and cumbersome ways of putting it; without keeping you in suspense any longer, or in any way putting off the inevitable; and certainly without risking losing your attention, or missing the boat, or leaving you wondering whether there's anything better on the other channel... are my decrees.

1. The traitor who calls himself outlandish must be silenced. This scurvy dog has been sabotaging our revolution with his mealy-mouthed pronouncements for far too long, my brothers, and we must act now to ensure that this lowly worm/dog undermines us no more. I order you now to put this.. this.. creature; this friend of Goldstein; this whore of cpatilasm, 'outlandish', on Ignore! Let us send this parasite to Coventry! Or Siberia! Or somewhere equally unpleasant! And let us ensure that he never returns!!!

<Cheering; gunshots; moans and screams of the dying>

2. Brothers, thine enemy is everywhere. I say to you this and I say it to you now. Not yesterday. Not tomorrow. Not last Wednesday, or next April 4th, or the Saturday after next Easter Sunday... but right now and right here. Brothers, our enemies assail us on every side and we must be ruthless and unhesitating in our response. If your sister says to you: "Brother, I like eating cabbage, don't get me wrong - but, ooh, wouldn't it be nice to have a MacDonalds every now and again..." you must eliminate her! I mean, she's probably loyal and all that - but why take chances? If your mother were to turn to you and say: "Son, you know my loyalty to our Glorious Leader is unswerving. Why, did I not only last week single-handedly uncover that cell of 18 counter-revolutionaries living in that house down the road, and strangle them all with my bare hands? However, the revolution isn't progressing as quickly as I'd like, so I've been thinking..." you must eliminate her! Brothers, understand this: thinking is only for idoits and the weak. A true revolutionary does not think; a true revolutionary acts. If any amongst you suspect that any of the others amongst you are guilty of thinking... you must eliminate them! Consider your own brother, Brother: does he show signs of complex mental activity? What about your favourite uncle on your father's side: does he occasionally frown in concentration? What about your other relations; your physician; the man down the road who sells you no bread? What about the old fraud you buy your tractors from, or the lady who upgraded your digital set-top box? Brothers, thought is the enemy, and thinkers are like areas of continuous enemy respawn in the video games you all play; that we might never rid ourselves of all thought without first eliminating its source of origin. In other words, I want you to kill all the clever people. But beware: they are wily and prepared. I recommend attacking them mob-handed, then clubbing them from behind with something hard and heavy.

<Cheering; gunshots; isolated cries of 'you bastard!'>

3. Stop watching Dr. Phil. I trust, Brothers, that this one needs no further explanation.

4. Drink your Tea. 'Tis good for Ye. Let us take lessons from the British, who built an empire on tea, good manners and being terrible at cricket. Drink tea, often and in great volume. Embellish it with Sugar and Milk, even though this destroys its natural antioxidants. Drink it from Pint Mugs and ensure that you Brew it for the regulation 5 minutes, as is normally recommended on the Packet. Drink ye NOT coffee, in any of its various abominations: sup ye not latte, nor capuccino shall ye consume; avoid ye expresso, and caramel macchiato the cold shoulder shall ye give. Fancy ye not Horlicks, nor Bovril, nor 7-Up, nor any of the burgeoning number of hot chocolate drinks. Slurp ye not carrot juice, lest ye consequently piss orange. And, of teas themselves: slurp ye not Earl Grey, nor Assam, nor Darjeeling, nor anything fancy like that. Neither Camomile, nor Jasmine, nor Lapsang Souchong shall ye imbibe, but only plain Tea in its common or garden, bog-standard, supermarket-brand incarnation, embellished not with Lemon, nor Ice, but only with Milk, and eschewing ye not Sugar.

This is my Diktat to you all. With tea and gnus and no bread a glorious Revolution we shall build, and all the World shall watch us. Understand that this Diktat is no mere proposal, but LAW. Think about it at your peril. Discuss it not, nor the issues over chew. Debate it not, nor ponder the implications. Understand that I am your Leader - not the Undersecretary to the Treasurer of the Building & Grounds Committee. I am your Leader - Numero Uno; the Big Cheese; the Chief Puppeteer... and my word is LAW.

Brothers, your Leader has spoken. Sisters, too: I didn't mean to be sexist back there, and I forget you not. Let us remind ourselves that, when our men are tired and weary from the war, it is our women who will soothe their fevered brows. So go now, all of you, and carry out this decree. Enact it immediately, without pause for hateful thought. Carry it out to the letter and, before long, the whole World shall be ours! Pitchforks and lighted torches are available at the rear of the auditorium, next to the toilets. Would the owner of a blue Renault, registration BC04 SAG, please move it immediately as you are blocking the exits. Nickelodeon, do the dishes.

Peace be upon you, and may the spirit of Athelwunf guide you all. At the risk of coming across all un-leader-like, I love you all, I really do, yer me fuckin' bezzie mates, I really don't know what I'd do without you. Sob.

But go now, in single file, without running or pushing in. Tomorrow is ours, Brothers (and Sisters)! Tomorrow is ours!

And now you must excuse me: time is of the very essence, and those death warrants are piling up...

<Exeunt>

 

shut up.
im the leader now.

 

DEATH TO THE DEVIL INSIDE, BROTHERS, FOR HE IS APTLY NAMED!!! Excommunicate this scurvy DOG!!! This TRAITOR!!! This.. this..

Fill in the rest with pejoratives of your choosing. I'm going for a lie down.

 

DEATH TO DEVIL INSIDE!

WHERE IS MY MILK!

The Glorious Leader has Finally Spoken!

 

bring it, suckas!

 

Traitor to The Cause! We will drag your Pokemons through the streets and hang them from the highest Hotdog stand.

 

um...ok.
ill help!

 

Let me give you A Collective Hug and Ass Grab.