About how bad should I feel?

Discussion in 'Free Thoughts' started by Betrayer0fHope, Jan 22, 2010.

  1. Betrayer0fHope MY COHERENCE! IT'S GOING AWAYY Registered Senior Member

    Human Science thread I guess but I posted here since you guys know what's up.

    Also this thread title blows but I figured nobody cares here.

    Anyway here's the story: Some girl who really liked me for like three years and I hung out and then blah blah stuff happened. Anyway I don't like her at all but I kind of blurted out that I loved her while she was doing something so she'd do something else.

    My best friend, or old best friend thinks it was TERRIBLE and won't even talk to me now.

    The last conversation we had, basically right after it happened, I tried to tell her that I really, really couldn't control myself and most guys would've done a similar thing. I'm actually a nice guy now (I always was, though not on this place).

    So yeah, how bad should I feel, am I right in thinking most guys would do the same thing, and did my friend overreact or was she right?

    For those who don't know me, I'm sixteen and a Sophomore in Highschool, if that changes things (pretty sure it does).
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  3. cluelusshusbund + Public Dilemma + Valued Senior Member

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  5. nietzschefan Thread Killer Valued Senior Member

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  7. skaught The field its covered in blood Valued Senior Member

    HAHAHAHA!!! Your friend is a bitch dude! Men equate sex with love. Its not unusual at all for a guy to say "I love you" to a girl in the heat of passion, even if he doesn't mean it. When the moment of truth come later and the girl says it to you when your not fucking and you don't say it back, they always get mad as hell! There's not a thing wrong with you bro. The girl you were with should haver known better, and this friend is just being an asshole. Granted it probably wasn't right of you to do it, but as a fellow guy, I know what its like. You learned your lesson, make sure not to do it again.
  8. mordea Registered Senior Member

    Not bad at all.
  9. kenworth dude...**** it,lets go bowling Registered Senior Member

    no point in feeling bad but know that you were in the wrong and dont make excuses.
  10. Lori_7 Go to church? I am the church! Registered Senior Member

    you're a liar, a manipulator, and a slut, and you're making excuses for yourself. doesn't really matter if YOU feel bad or not. what matters is how you treat other people. some people live their whole lives never figuring that out. do you want to be one of them?
  11. Bebelina kospla.com Valued Senior Member

    Should? How about how do you really feel, like a real feeling, existing within you.

    You seem kind of perky, from the post, so what you really want to know is if you owe this girl an excuse or not, from a polite social point of view perhaps.
  12. deicider got omnicidead Registered Senior Member

    depends ,were you thinking of your mother during the action?

    Well,if you did then you should give her flowers and describe how your father(bonus for stepfathers)abused you in every possible way,with details,that gives you good ratios to nail her.
    Last edited: Jan 22, 2010
  13. Anti-Flag Pun intended Registered Senior Member

    You sicken me. That is all.
  14. Crunchy Cat F-in' *meow* baby!!! Valued Senior Member

    If you don't like her at all, it means that you lied to her.

    Humans judge each other on two criteria.

    1) Are you mean.
    2) Are you valuable.

    Your actions certainly qualify for 1) and maybe the dishonesty aspect of it qualified you for 2) in the mind of your best friend.

    I don't know the statistics of your age group so I couldn't say. It's not the case for most adults if that helps.

    Bad question. There's no such thing as right or wrong. Your friend is upset and if you value that relationship then you have to address it honestly with her.
  15. Betrayer0fHope MY COHERENCE! IT'S GOING AWAYY Registered Senior Member

    Yeah this wasn't exactly a philosophical question or a question about how a man's brain works. I posted it here so I could write however and get personal responses about how someone else thinks about it.

    To some random guy who posted: True story I don't feel bad at all.

    Guy above me: I don't think there's right and wrong either, but I was wondering whether people would feel the same as her.

    To lori: lol
  16. Lori_7 Go to church? I am the church! Registered Senior Member

    it's not funny.
  17. Betrayer0fHope MY COHERENCE! IT'S GOING AWAYY Registered Senior Member

    I laughed though. You need to reread skaught's post

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    But srsly. Thread was obviously just for people to tell me that I'm right so I can know that my old best friend was a silly.
  18. cluelusshusbund + Public Dilemma + Valued Senior Member

    Sorry... i woud have answrd diferently if i had known you was serous.!!!
  19. John99 Banned Banned

    it is funny until it happens to you. that is why it is always best to be honest. lying to people is easy but before you know it no one will trust you.
  20. Fraggle Rocker Staff Member

    Did you hang out with her because you enjoyed her company? Or did you hang out with her because she was attracted to you and you hoped you'd be able to manipulate her into having sex?
    I don't know what kids mean when they say "like." You must have liked her or you wouldn't have been friends with her for three years. I assume you mean that you didn't have any romantic feelings toward her and just wanted to be friends.

    There's an old saying: "A man falls in love with the woman who has sex with him; a woman has sex with the man she's in love with." So it's a common situation for a woman who loves a man to have sex with him, and then eventually the man falls in love with her. If you guys were 30 I might say that she did it in the hope that you would fall in love with her and then you'd be a happy couple. At 16 nobody is that sophisticated so she probably just screwed you because she wanted to and wasn't thinking much about the future.

    At sixteen you're ruled by your raging hormones and will screw any firl who is reasonably attractive and makes herself available. If your girlfriend didn't know this then she will have to accept this as one of life's little lessons. Adolescence is full of them, that's why we try to protect you kids from having too many of these experiences too quickly and being overwhelmed by the consequences of your astoundingly bad judgment.

    The lesson for you is that if you give in to physical desire you might hurt somebody, and it might be somebody who trusted you and who you didn't really want to hurt. And your other friends might think you're an asshole, especially your female friends who don't look at life the same way you do. Women mature a little faster than men so if your disapproving friend is the same age as you chronologically, she is a little more sensible than you are and thinks you're acting like a kid. Of course when she grows up she'll realize that, emotionally, you were a kid so it was unfair to expect you to act any differently.

    It would be nice if you could apologize to both of these girls. It would be nicer if you would learn from this experience. It would be really nice if next time you would try to be a little more mature and think about how what you're doing is going to affect the other person, instead of thinking only about your dick!

    But in the long run just file this away as a lesson. If you lose two friends because of something thoughtless you did, it probably won't be the first time. Life is tough.
    This is why most adults think that kids your age should not be allowed to have so much freedom that you can be having sex. It's unreasonable to expect you to be able to control yourselves. Not only can you hurt somebody emotionally, but in the heat of passion you can forget to use contraception and get her pregnant, and even if she's on the pill or something you could pick up an STD.
    I don't know about most guys, but many guys would have done that at your age. I was in high school when the Sexual Revolution was just starting, but sixteen-year-olds just didn't have the kind of freedom you do so for most of us there was no chance of having sex. By the time I had that much freedom I was older and in college and I had developed a rudimentary sense of responsibility, not to mention more self-control. I didn't have sex until I was nineteen and it was with a girl I was in love with, and eventually she became my first wife.

    It's really nice if your first experience is with someone with whom you have an emotional relationship, not just physical. But if that's not possible, at least try not to hurt somebody. Don't take advantage of someone else's feelings. That is, basically, lying.
  21. visceral_instinct Monkey see, monkey denigrate Valued Senior Member

    So basically you said you loved her in the heat of the moment, but you didn't really mean it, it was just a surge of lust? And this led to you two having sex?

    How was that wrong, exactly? One, you didn't make her do anything against her will, and two, she's stupid if she takes something to heart that was said in the heat of the moment. Does she think people mean everything we say literally?

    I don't know how you were as a kid, but I was damn careful my first time, because the idea of having a baby aged 17 severely freaked me out.
  22. mordea Registered Senior Member

  23. Lori_7 Go to church? I am the church! Registered Senior Member

    well, it's troubling that you laughed. i wasn't joking. life and love are valuable things, and lies do reduce it down to a joke at best. making it meaningless at best. and the whole "i'm a guy so i have a global excuse for being an asshole" routine is sickening and pathetic. you're supposed to be leaders. you're supposed to be responsible, and protect women, and look out for their best interest.

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