Absurd things Christians say...

Discussion in 'Religion Archives' started by takethewarhome, Sep 8, 2009.

  1. jessiej920 Shake them dice and roll 'em Valued Senior Member

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    I think that's more out of habit then believing in God. I say it to be polite, but usually I just say 'bless you'.

    Anyways...ridiculous things Christians say:

    "You are going to hell". Oh I am? Really? Thanks for the update. I hope there's beer.

    "Jesus saves". Need I say more?

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    "God doesn't give you anything you can't handle". AKA You suck at life, deal with it.

    "You're a Satanist". Yes. Yes I am. And you are an idiot.

    "I'll pray for your soul". Why? Do you have a direct line to God? Is it like a 1-800 number or something? Toll-free?

    "Everyone has the chance to know God". AKA If you don't believe in God you are going to hell. That means 60% of the world is on the same bus. It's going to be one hell of a party

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    "The Devil made me do it". Riiiight. I believe you, I really do. The devil made me write this post!!
     
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  3. The Esotericist Getting the message to Garcia Valued Senior Member

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    . . . so much toxic negativity in this thread. . . lighten up.

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    "You are going to hell"

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    "Jesus saves"

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    "The Devil made me do it"
     
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  5. S.A.M. uniquely dreadful Valued Senior Member

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    So where is the thread you promised us?
     
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  7. deicider got omnicidead Registered Senior Member

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    u can mock the god as much as u want but that wont help you.
    Theist say absurd things only cause they lack of knowledge,a true christian is always correct.
    Science is true but god made science,thus science can't disprove god, and the funny things is that all atheists base their beliefs in science...silly ppl.
     
  8. (Q) Encephaloid Martini Valued Senior Member

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    You're right, he's not there to listen, hence it is the beliefs of theists that are mocked.

    Not true. Theists are presented with knowledge which they immediately dismiss if it doesn't agree with their doctrines.

    Science could care less about the fantasies and delusions theists present about their gods. You claim god made science, but that's just a delusion on your part.

    No, they base their beliefs on life and nature, and maybe science.

    Of course, what do theists base their beliefs on other than bronze age myths and superstitions. That is far more sillier.
     
  9. deicider got omnicidead Registered Senior Member

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    When u'll go to hell u'll remeber me.
    That u get for putting science over god.
    God is absolute.God is in everything and god will show mercy for those who deserve it.
    Anyway u still have time to change ur mind ,its never too late.
    I'll be praying for u.
     
  10. (Q) Encephaloid Martini Valued Senior Member

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    I won't have to remember you, you'll be standing right beside me. We'll both be roasting in Islamic hell while Allah fiddles with our nether regions.

    Your god is a most despicable character if he sends me to hell simply for using that which he provided me in the first place.

    I spit on your god. If he had a set of yarble's, I'd shine my Dayton's on them, repeatedly. Then, I'd swing round the other side and kick his bony ass to timbuktu.

    And then, I might show him some mercy.

    There's a thought, Nah. I'd rather spit in your god's eye.

    Pray for spelling and grammar, instead.
     
  11. deicider got omnicidead Registered Senior Member

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    Allah is great,if you do righ u will be saved,may the quran guide your way.
    You will get virgins if you get there ,think about it...unless you're a wortheless gay then you should either sacrifice urself or change ur mind quickly.

    No mohamed paid for your sins and you still doubt him...shame.

    blasphemy,but i can't do anything cause ur not here,if u lived here at iran we would teach you some manners.Godless worm.
    Still makin fun of the One...the least u will experiance will be blindess when u will meet him.

    In the afterlife the gramar will be ur last worry when u will be burnin in HELL forever.
     
  12. GeoffP Caput gerat lupinum Valued Senior Member

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    Mohammed paid for sins? Where's this again?
     
  13. (Q) Encephaloid Martini Valued Senior Member

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    I do right, it has nothing to do with Allah or his book of myths and superstitions.

    It's funny you say, 'think about it' but it's clear you have no idea how to think.

    I would rather be a "worthless gay" than be an insane theist any day. At least then, I decide when I get it up the ass.


    Muhammad was a liar, thief, despot and murderer.

    The expectation of your violent religion is coming to fruition and I'm sure "teaching manners" means to slit my throat or knife me in the back. Insane theist.

    Perhaps, but I'll still kick his fucking ass and spit in his eye.

    Ah, the religion of peace shines it's light. Remember, you'll be right along side of me there.

    No virgins for you!
     
  14. swarm Registered Senior Member

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  15. swarm Registered Senior Member

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  16. takethewarhome midnatt klarhet Registered Senior Member

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