Im desperate for female attention. This obviously can be seen by others and it has caused more pity that attention. So the more i want this...the more i cant have it. What now? Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
FIRST OF ALL.... all of this is my opinion and does not represent the teachings of the empirical church. 1) GUYS NEED TO BE ASSERTIVELY AGGRESSIVE.. so girls dont have to be. they need you to be confidant, and move things forward.. slowly and easily.. so that they dont have to be the agreesor... which amounts to slutty. if the girl is forced to be agreesive to get things going.. so will either leave or simply not like you as much... period.(except for some girls) 2) do not fear rejection... in fact you can assume right now.. from the start that 99 % of the girls you might want to and try to ask out WILL SAY NO!!!!!!!!!!! YOUR LOOKING FOR NUMBER 100... and it may take asking 100 girls to find her. the guy who gets rejected 87 times and gets one date with a so so girl... is doing way better than the shy loser who never asks women out. 3) do not, ,as a man.. be concerned with your looks... i mean comb your hair, or cut it short and shower everyday, and brush your teeth.. and when it comes to introductions try not to have major bad breath.. or dont speak in her face. but your looks... are not so much the major question in a womans mind when picking a man... that is why you might often see a very ugly man with any number of beautifull women... why? cause he talks to them. 4) do not concern yourself with treating a woman as some kind of special object... do not put her on to high of a pedastil.... cause she will fall off and blame you. no.. treat her like a friend.. a good friend... whom you may happen to love and cherish. but dont smoother her with the love and cherish... you portion it off relative to playing games and having fun... having fun.. casual fun with each other is the most key things to a good relationship... so do not fear to offend... offend on purpose, as long as its funny... but it all depends on the girl. i.e.. dont form habits of playing and tickling.. if she doesnt laugh, and only gets mad. 5) all women are wierd... their brains are literally wired backwards to mens brains, and it will be up to you.. as the man to adjust your life and existance to fit within the realm of the woman you desire.. but dont be pussy wiped... dont give up all your beliefs... but discuss them openly.. other wise they will form fights later. if you let her walk all over you, and your beliefs.. she will.. and she will lose respect. 6) if it doesnt work out.. and the girl says no more after one or two dates... DO NOT STALK HER... just make it clear... 'hea.. its your loss' because you know.... that by asking out 100 more attractive girls.. you will find another girl just as wonderful as she was.. who willl appreciate you for what you are. and thats a confidant man, with plans, goals and plenty of actions. 7) if they come back to you... dont not quickly take them back... discuss it.. think about it.. and go out on a few dates again... to be sure... make her take you... in this way, it is a big deal... not an easy thing. this way... she respects you... not hinks in her mind..(that was easy, sucker!) 8) if you start fighting... be the man, and oppologise. try to see her possition clearly, and state your arguements calmly... and if your still fighting.. change the subject... dont let pety stupid shit ruin your relationship,,, its worth more than that. 9) be prepared to be her shouffer.... i.e... she will be wanting to go places... she can either go with you, by herself, or with someone else. if you let her go by herself,, she might end up with someone else. thus, do not be a lazy bum.. take her everywhere she needs to go.. and discuss going to all the places she wants to go... and try to get some of your chioces in there... but, do not predominate, otherwise.. she may need to go to her destinations alone... which again.. may lead to others company. 10) if you do not shower her with kisses... dont expect her to shower you with them. and if she does... then you should get a clue.. and shower her as well. if you like it.. she probubly does too. dont be selfish when it comes to pleasing each other. period. again... these are just my opinions. -MT
How old are you? I suppose some of these other people know something about you but I don't. Am I talking to a young kid in high school or a guy in his 20s? Girls start to mature earlier than boys and that continues for a long time. (Many women will say it continues forever. Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!) This is a particular problem during adolescence when school and other organized activities tend to group people together by age. Boys think girls their own age act like all they care about is shopping and gossip, while girls think boys their own age are dorky Cub Scouts. This continues for quite a few years. Of course it's not universally true, there are some guys who are remarkably suave and sophisticated for their age, but I think you're telling us that you're not one of them. That's good, because those guys missed out on a few years of their youth that they'll never get back. So if you're under 25, and particularly if you're WAY under 25, you might think about the girls who are a couple of years younger than you. You'll find a better match there. Of course if you are in your 20s, you might also discover the exact opposite phenomenon. Many women much older than you are turned on by a guy your age. Not ALL of them, so don't make rash assumptions and get your face slapped. But they're out there. For one thing, the cliche is more or less true that women don't reach their peak of sexual desire until they're about 30, whereas boys hit it around 16. All of that notwithstanding, the eternal truth still shines: The best way to meet a woman who you are likely to get along with and be able to relate to, is to just go through your normal life, do the things you like to do, and pay attention to the women you meet who are doing the same things. If you have a common interest with someone that makes it so much easier, more natural, to strike up a conversation and find all the other things you have in common. It gives you something to talk about so there are no awkward pauses. It gives you something to do that you'll both enjoy while your entire mind and body are focused on just getting her into bed. It even gives you a glimmer of another eternal truth, which is that you actually can relate to a person of the opposite sex as a human being, rather than... well, rather than as a person of the opposite sex. And that is a fabulous way to get a relationship off to a good start. My wife and I were friends for a long time before we both happened to be "available" at the same time and started dating. We already knew what we had in common and what our differences were, what we liked about each other, what we needed the other person to change, and what we'd just have to put up with. That was almost 30 years ago. I'm still married to my friend.
Engage in activities that you enjoy. The odds favor your meeting a female who would be a good match for you. If luck is not on your side, at least you are doing something you enjoy. Whenever I was unattached, I skied, played duplicate bridge, went to piano bars, worked out at a gym, took a cruise once or twice a year, attended meetings of writers groups (I was never a successful writer), traveled to interesting places. I did most of those (and other) activities even when I had a girl friend or a wife, usually accompanied by my current partner. I never really looked for a female. There were lots of times when I did not meet an interesting female who thought that I was interesting. However, I was never disappointed because I was enjoying myself. Actively looking for a female without doing something interesting is a waste of time and can be depressing.
My advice is to stop worrying about it. I know that sounds like I'm writing you off, but: (1) You're allocating too many resources if it's this worrysome (2) Relationships are, by the odds, a letdown (3) Chicks allegedly dig people who act uninterested For instance, I had a strange evening a few weeks ago. It started the night before when I realized that I had not done what I was doing--sitting alone in a bar with a pint in my hand--for a long time, possibly a decade. I rather enjoyed myself, and discovered I could understand televised poker without the sound. The next night, however, I met two women. I cannot describe to you how bizarre that episode was. I ended up "bar-hopping" to the far side of the next city over. And then I ended up at some rapper's apartment discussing the ins and outs of the cocaine and stolen car-stereo markets. Somewhere in between, however, my lovely hosts schmoozed drunkenly up to the cops; despite the number of club concerts I see, I've never seen the police arrive to clear a bar at closing time just because it was closing time. Fifteen badges outside the door was a bit of a surprise. Watching the girls try to charm the cops ... when one tried to move me along, I couldn't possibly point at the drunk girl having her picture taken with another cop and say, "She's my ride." And watching them hustle for a party or some dope ... ye gads, that wasn't even funny. And then the driver invited some guy along, and them promptly kicked him out of her car for ... um ... I don't know what. I didn't sleep that night; we hooked up for one party and then ditched out for another, whereupon the driver promptly passed out. I can't tell you how bad vodka-flavored malt-liquor energy drinks are. The second woman actually took my number but never called. The whole experience was rather hellish. I was surprised when the driver walked up to me two weeks later in the same bar we started at before and chatted me up. As then, so now: expect nothing and you won't be disappointed. She gave me her number, told me to call her, and never answers her phone. Add to that the fact that she grew up in a family associated with the same sect of Christianity as my last partner ... toss in the facts of her boyfriend, a teenage offspring, and my utter inability to afford a woman of her demands .... Thus: (1) My daughter is my priority; I can afford neither the money or time spent pursuing a relationship with someone like her (2) No relationship that involves listening to a Kelly Clarkson album could be satisfying, speak nothing of her tempestuous moods (3) We'll see what the future brings; if the stereotype is true, my long-term disinterest will make me irresistable I know it's a cliche to say there's someone out there for everyone, and besides, it's probably not true. But the reality is that what you seek will eventually find you, even if you don't recognize it. I just came off a ten-year relationship that I can't possibly justify to anyone. I do have a daughter by it, but I still wonder about the point, since my former partner apparently loathed me years before our child was conceived. Imagine spending your days listening to a woman talk about yourself while watching endless videotapes of soap operas. In other words, be careful what you wish for. Be good to people, be a friend to yourself, and everything else will attend to itself.
Just be confident. Oh, and I found this site useful: http://www.doubleyourdating.com/ Go for the newsletter, there's some good advice in it.
Participate in social groups that you are interested in to find a common companian. Go to church on Sundays: a lot of single girls or some with children often go to church to find a man with moral values. For a long-term relationship, girls often look for signs in a guy that reinforce a commitment to having a family, supporting a family, and being a good farher. See: "Does he like children?" http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/12705344/
Thanks for all your input guys. Good advice I think! Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
You have a lot of time on your hands. Personally I am not going to go out of my way to get a girl's attention, if it happens it happens, besides they are not that interesting.
Catha: Too bad you did not know some of the girls I have known, including many who showed no interest in me. I found most of the females I have encountered to be interesting, including many that I was not interested in due to their gender.
Make yourself look more pleasible...lose weight....make sure you have 100 dollar bills sticking out a bit out of your pockets...buy a new car...wear stylish clothes...
Like attracts like. There are plenty of girls out there who are desperate for male attention. Go hook up with one of them. The experience will do you both good, you'll have a reference standard for future relationships. When you start getting near enough to talk to her do you find yourself thinking, "Omigod, what a skank. I can't bear to do this"? Bingo. That may be a mirror. Look into it very carefully. Do you suppose women say that when they get close to you? Is that why they don't pay you any attention? If so, use these trans-gender role models to figure out what's wrong with you and fix it. The expression on your face, the way you hold your body, the way you move, the tone of voice you use, the way you make eye contact, the first thing you say to a girl. These are probably all just habits that you've fallen into and exacerbated because of your bad luck. They're probably not true reflections of the wonderful man you are. You can change them without needing to reconstruct yourself. On the other hand, if you're a kind enough and adventurous enough man to hang with a woman you don't find immediately attractive, you will get a world of wisdom from the experience. Either way, you can't lose. Who knows, she may turn out to be a wonderful person on the inside just like you are.