Bloody Jehova's Witnesses

After finishing rebuilding their "Kingdom Hall" a few months ago, our local religious loonies have been making a concerted effort to convert the local heathens.

Unfortunately whenever they have come to my house I've not been in and my flatmate is way too polite to tell them to fuck off - even though she'd like to. They've taken encouragement by this and seem to drop of yet more of their rambling nonsensical religious pamphlets every week.

Clearly they must be stopped and was hoping for some tips to get rid of them.

I was thinking I should speak to the poor kid they bring along with them and tell him that his mummy and daddy don't love him because they'd leave him to die a horrible death if he ever needed a transfusion or transplant - but thats a bit harsh even for a dyed in the wool bastard like me.

Perhaps exchange my copy of the God delusion for one of thier copies of the Watchtower?
Suggestions please...........

 

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Tell them to put your name on their 'worships prince of darkness' list...and be done with em.

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Or, tell them they are trespassing as soon they open their yap.

 

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hmmm...if you dont want to see them, just tell them I don't want you to come her anymore.

 

I often told them that God will sort out the beleivers from the unbeleivers, and that's all that counts; and anything they do woudn't nearly be as effective. Then they stopped coming.

 

Have you put a sign on your door reading:

"No Solicitors"

 

wouldn't want to scare away the hookers too!

 

A sign that says "Churchburners live here!" does miracles...

 

ha ha ha. Usually you have to go out looking for hookers or call them...anyway...Another possibility is that your flat mate is insane and making it all up to drive you insane too.

 

AK47? I have no tolerance for organised religion. As I've said time and time again in that alternate universe called real life , anyone who needs to solicit their beliefs clearly holds no steadfast faith in their belief system. Imagine quantum physicists knocking on your door telling you if you don't believe that [on basis of the assumption of "locality" (physical effects have a finite propagation speed) and "reality" (physical states exist before they are measured) that particle attributes have definite values independent of the act of observation] you're going to the nearest black hole. Actually I'd invite them in.

"No physical theory of local hidden variables can ever reproduce all of the predictions of quantum mechanics." This shall be your new mantra, lest you be subdivided into particles of infinite light.

 

Well we need of be tolerant to people who believe in different things otherwise we can just claim Fascism as our belief system. Perhaps if it really bothers him he should take my advice.

 

The best way to get rid of them is to tell them you are Catholic. I don't know why, but they immediately thank you and walk away.

 

Oh I'm all for people holding views and ideas but when they bring them to my door they better have a better argument than "It's his will, he's all like David Copperfield and stuff, you can't really see what he's doing but it's a fantastic mirage of wonder and light". Faith is the most beautiful thing in the world, but the ones that have it never talk about it, they walk the walk and people just get caught up in that funky slipstream of brilliance.

 

I talk to them if I feel like it, but it goes nowhere. They're not into analyzing what they believe, they always refer the tough questions to someone else.

 

How about when girl scouts knock on your door? What is really the difference anyway? To me there is no difference, its not like everytime a philisophical viewpoint is presented to me i jump on it.

Where i live we have a lot of Indians, who wear turbans. Do i tell them not to wear their turban because i dont wear one or something along those lines. JW's are just regular people and their actually very nice too. If going around handing out literature to people who want it is their thing then what is the big deal? Just put the sign on your door and they wont knock on it.

 

I can take care of myself when it comes to snake oil salesmen, Its my flatmate I actually feel sorry for and feel I should help out.
Even though they make her very uncomfortable, she's way too shy and too polite to tell them to get lost - they take this as encouragement and keep dropping off more bloody leaflets. Its easy to see how someone vulnerable might fall prey to this kind of superstition.

 

OK. Get a piece of cardboard and a magic marker. Write on it:

"NO SOLICITORS"

Fasten it to your door.

 

How about trying something like this down at the kingdom hall?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sV-a1vmZ6y8

 

Well they look like Nazi's and are acting like it. But now we are getting to the crux of your thread.

 

see, now if you were a christian you could invite them in and verbally nail them to a wall on all their stupid bullshit, asking them questions like, "so you really think it's a good idea to try and sell jesus door to door like he's a god-damned vacuum cleaner with a life-time warranty and a handy dandy instruction manual? all for the low, low price of your heart."

that's a cool analogy huh? almost as cool as a grown man riding around on a bike with a dress shirt, a tie, and a helmet on. or as cool as denying kids a christmas and halloween.