Body Signals Redux: Proving Mormonism

Discussion in 'Religion' started by Billy Baxter, Dec 30, 2016.

  1. Billy Baxter Registered Senior Member

    Messages:
    102
    Hello again. This is the poster formerly known as Dewy. A long time ago I posted a thread about the phenomenon I call the theory of body signals. To review, God has a subtle way of communicating with us that manifests as itches, muscular twitches, pulses, pains and cramps. As a reminder, here are what I consider to be the most important signals:

    Right side of the body symbolically represents Good
    Left side of the body symbolically represents Evil

    Legs represent Thoughts
    Arms represent Actions

    Right ear represents God's Mercy
    Left ear represents God's Justice

    Cheeks mean "God didn't say that"
    Nose means Choose

    So if I think an evil thought, I may get an itch on my left leg. If I get a pulse in my right ear, this means I've done something to incur God's mercy, such as being kind to others. If I believe that Allah wants me to be a terrorist and kill innocent people in His name, my left cheek may twitch vigorously, indicating that He wants no such thing. And so on. There are many other body signals also that I can mention, but the above will do for now.
     
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  3. Billy Baxter Registered Senior Member

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    Proving Mormonism using the body signals:

    1. First, establish to your satisfaction that the signals mean what I say they do--you don't have to take my word for it. Watch the signals and seek to establish a correlation with your thoughts, words and actions. This may take a long time; it took me decades of careful study.

    2. Once you believe or know what the signals mean, notice what leg twitches when you think about God and His great unconditional love for us. I predict that your right leg will give a signal.

    3. Next, read the Book of Mormon and pray about it, asking God if it is true in the name of Christ, having real intent to find out the truth. He will tell you through an inner witness called the Holy Spirit that the Book of Mormon (and the Bible) are true.

    4. If you still need further proof, watch what body signal fires when you ask God if Joseph Smith was a true prophet. I predict that Joseph Smith's authenticity and that of Christ and the Bible will all be on the right leg.

    The body signals don't replace the inner witness of the Spirit--they are supplemental but nonetheless helpful. Experiment with them over time. They can confound all false doctrine and help prove all true doctrine.
     
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  5. Ophiolite Valued Senior Member

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    I'm sorry to hear you wasted a significant part of your life on nonsense. May I recommend switching to model railway construction. This is intellectually stimulating and produces something that can amuse the grandchildren.
     
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  7. Billy Baxter Registered Senior Member

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    Well, it's not like I sat around watching them 24/7.
     
  8. Xelasnave.1947 Valued Senior Member

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    Well after reading your post I needed to scratch my head.
    If you are an atheist how should you interpret all these things you mention.
    Thanks for sharing your views.
    May I ask how did you work out your ideas they seem most original.
    Alex
     
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  9. Dr_Toad It's green! Valued Senior Member

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    Billy: But you spent time boring all your readers with random bullshit.

    At least you haven't claimed that it's actually Moron I that's tickling your... whatever.

    Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!

     
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  10. Billy Baxter Registered Senior Member

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    If you're an atheist, get ready to believe in God!

    I started noticing the signals back in the 1980s. Left / Right dichotomy, once I cracked the basic code, things just fell into place relatively quickly.
     
  11. Dr_Toad It's green! Valued Senior Member

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    1,791
    Get some psychiatric help. A buddy of mine starting getting signals from "angels" a couple of years ago: Now he's in jail awaiting a psych evaluation.

    Don't wait.

    Or is this Poe's Law in action?
     
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  12. Xelasnave.1947 Valued Senior Member

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    I have been ready all my life and read many religious texts only to get a feeling all over, like you I guess, that there was no God and everything that has been written was just made up stuff.
    After I worked out that it was all made up stuff realising that I was an atheist just fell into place.
    Good luck with working it all out.
    Do you think others have received your gift or is your experience a one of a kind.
    Alex
     
  13. Xelasnave.1947 Valued Senior Member

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    2,919
    I nearly lost the use of my legs but a surgeon saved me...praise to that surgeon who did the operation to save me.
    If I had relied on God saving me I would be in a wheel chair and folk like you would simply say it was Gods will I expect.
    Thank goodness for the wonders of modern medicine.
    However both my feet still have an intense burning sensation what can that mean?
    Any ideas?
    Alex
     
  14. Kristoffer Giant Hyrax Valued Senior Member

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    1,231
     
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  15. Billy Baxter Registered Senior Member

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    102
    I don't know. I do know beyond the shadow of a doubt, though, that God does exist and he loves us and wants us to be happy.
     
  16. Billy Baxter Registered Senior Member

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    What part of the feet is the burning sensation on?
     
  17. Xelasnave.1947 Valued Senior Member

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    From the knees down all over.
    Alex
     
  18. Billy Baxter Registered Senior Member

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    102
    I don't know; that's too general an area.
     
  19. Dr_Toad It's green! Valued Senior Member

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    What body part tingles when you sense stupidity? Is it the same one that throbs when you sense a fucking troll?
     
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  20. Ophiolite Valued Senior Member

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    I used to get an intense pain just above my eyes. I finally determined it was caused by repeatedly striking myself on the forehead with the flat of my palm when I read their posts.
     
  21. Truck Captain Stumpy Registered Senior Member

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    704
    OP is absolutely the funniest and best Poe's Law demo ever!

    oh wait... he's being serious!
    What does it mean when you're constantly constipated, have painful twitches in one particular tricep muscle (left) as well as itchy palms (bilateral), a left thumbnail that grows considerably longer than the right while being pointed, a right buttocks that has spasms but only when standing (when sitting the left buttocks has spasms) and Heterochromia iridum with the lighter eye always painfully burning like it's on fire when on a phone or CB?

    i tried to be as specific as i could so that you could interpret what your god is saying to me...


    PS - while you are at it: what does it mean when your left testicle has no feeling at all but the right one feels painful spikes when riding?
     
  22. Michael 345 Valued Senior Member

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    Any chance you can copy out the last page of your study notes here?

    Humpty Dumpty welcomes new ideas (?) and 2017.
    Hi from Poe

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  23. Billy Baxter Registered Senior Member

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    Constipation means you need more fiber in your diet.

    Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!


    Left arm = evil action.
    Itchy palms and thumbnail growth = not sure.
    Buttocks = forgotten truths (I think).
    Burning/itchy eyes: you don't see Justice (left) / Mercy (right)
    Testicles: your judgment/spiritual status is changing due to something you've thought, said or done | for the better (right) / for the worse (left)

    Laugh it up, I know how it sounds.
     

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