Bullying

Discussion in 'Free Thoughts' started by Mickmeister, Oct 7, 2010.

  1. Gremmie "Happiness is a warm gun" Valued Senior Member

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    Thank you for the voice of reason, Will.
     
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  3. John99 Banned Banned

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    You are talking about something completely different. To add to that, yhe parent is not acknowledging ( knowledge being part of the word)that they are responsible or had knowledge of the crime. Neither do insurance companies when they pay fro damages.
     
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  5. Trooper Secular Sanity Valued Senior Member

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  7. NMSquirrel OCD ADHD THC IMO UR12 Valued Senior Member

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    i do not know what it is like nowadays..
    when i was going to school, bullies ruled the grounds. even teachers were afraid of them..
    in school teachers are the first line of defense..if they don't acknowledge bulliing is happening it is hard to convince the parents it is happening..

    i was the focus of alot of bulliing in high school..when i stood up to them, i got in trouble not them.

    parents should be responsible for their kids,it is a shame that parents have to be forced to take responsibility..(btw NM has truancy laws that holds parent responsible with jail time if their kid is truant for 10 or more days..in my city 150(+or-) parents were jailed this year alone..)

    then there is the other side of it..when bulliing becomes illegal then how long will it be before kids are screaming they are being bullied when they are not.
     
  8. Yellow Jacket Registered Senior Member

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    I just had to deal with this yesterday with my son. I had to tell him to think smarter, not with his fists. If the kid is pushing him and stuff, to practically yell for the teacher to hear, "Don't hit me again. If you do, then...." That way the teacher can hear and see what is going on. He got in trouble yesterday, not the other kid. Since the other kid scares the other kids, no one will say anything against him. It's ok though, my son put a wupping on him. Doubt the kid will touch him again.

    I have seen this though. Teacher's ignore it. A few years back a kid was bullying my son. I constantly went to the school, trying to talk to the principal. Tried to have a sit down with the parents. Parents refused to come in. Principal said he believed in love and giving chances. Went on for 6 months. Finally, after trying things with the school board and getting no where, I was left with this. Told my son, whup the kid's ass. If the kid doesn't get in trouble, my son wouldn't. I'd have his back. To not start it, but don't let the kid hurt him anymore. (I had even taken pictures of the bruises and had to walk my son to and from school everyday). About a week later, the kid punched him in the back at lunch. My son, flipped out, first fight ever and tore the kid up. THEN the parent wanted to come in, press charges. I brought in my camera with the pics and said go ahead. The kid left my son alone and I actually got my son off suspension. I told the principal I would go to the papers. My son doesn't fight on a regular basis. But sadly, he has had to learn because the schools don't address the problem and allow it to happen. He has stood up for some disabled children on the playground when the monitors wouldn't stop it. Sad a kid can come home saddened and upset over that, but adult monitors allow it to go on without blinking twice.

    I also knew of a father that would pay his son to fight. If he didn't fight regularly, he would get in trouble. How do you combat that??

    Half the battle would be lost with the bullies if the schools would step up. The zero tolerance policy around where I live, is BS. If you defend yourself, you are kicked out of school. Guess what? Half the bullies don't care if they are out of school. It's vacation time for them. In theory it seemed good, but the whole policy has backfired.
     
  9. visceral_instinct Monkey see, monkey denigrate Valued Senior Member

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    Very sorry to hear that Yellow Jacket. Sadly the shit is not uncommon. The exact same crap happens over here. The bullies get sympathy because they have 'problems at home' but if you defend yourself, YOU get in trouble. Because it's so much less trouble to blame the victim than it is to address the bullying epidemic.
     
  10. Liebling Doesn't Need to be Spoonfed. Valued Senior Member

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    I teach my sons to band together with another friend or three and stick up for kids who are bullied. My kids are taller than average, thin, athletic and dress well, so they don't get picked on as much. I try to teach them to always befriend the smaller kids and the kids who others are making fun of and then come to their defense verbally and tell the teacher or staff immediately if there is any physical threat. But I do tell my kids to avoid bullies if they are alone, or if they are outnumbered. There is no harm in walking away from a situation you can't win. Eventually, things will come around and the bullies will get their asses kicked.

    It's funny, bullies are always picking on kids one on one, but when you have friends behind you they leave you alone. So if we just taught kids to have compassion for one another and understanding, they could act as a united front against bullies. Kind of a positive mob mentality. I wish there were more information out there on how to redirect, and stymie bullies instead of all this attention being paid to them. In our sensationalist society, the notoriety for the bully is just as enticing as being king of the hill.
     
  11. birch Valued Senior Member

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    the reason why bullying is tolerated (except by lip service) by the majority of the population is because it strikes a cord with the aggressive but hidden impulses in adults. they condone it passive-aggressively because that is probably what they are or used to do in some way. many people actually do believe that might is right and don't use power or aggression with any sense of moral values. it also taps into hidden resentment issues (not getting their way) and people find control or oppression of others an easy way to gain in some way whether it's ego-related or by diminishing the victim. those with bigoted values tend to be bullies as they don't value anyone's right to life except for those "like" them or are intolerant. there are lots of adult bullies too except they have learned to manifest it in other ways. until society has more people that are evolved to not rely on this primitive, immoral and often degenerate mores, it will continue or until there are more people that are good that outnumber them. unfortunately, it's the opposite. it's about power and many people will use any means to that end.
     
    Last edited: Oct 8, 2010
  12. NMSquirrel OCD ADHD THC IMO UR12 Valued Senior Member

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    WTG yellow jacket..

    kudos to you for helping him..

    my mom didn't do squat to help me..she always said i have to fight my own battles,she never lifted a finger to help..
     
  13. visceral_instinct Monkey see, monkey denigrate Valued Senior Member

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    Well done and much respect.
     
  14. cluelusshusbund + Public Dilemma + Valued Senior Member

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    Ther wasnt much bully prollems when i went to school... an as a side note... bak when i went to school everbody had a pocket knife... in grade school we woud play knife games at recess... i remenber in the 7th grade a couple of guys was playin a game of throwin a knife between the other guys feet... an as a joke som guy kicked at one of the guys crotch when he had his legs spread wide but he accidently kicked to hard an the guy had to have 1 of his nuts removed... OUCH.!!!

    Anyhow... also in the 7th grade ther was a guy who was held bak a couple of years an he was a bullly of sorts... an ther was anuther game we played which was to "trade licks"... it involved takin turns hittin each other on the upper arm until one or the other gave up... well this "bully" caut me in the hall an said lets trade licks... mos people woud take a couple of punches from him an give up... i had no intenton of givin up... i coudnt hit as hard as he coud but i atempted to bury my knuckle in the sam spot time after time... an anuther rule of the game was... if one of the guys wants to switch to ther other arm they can if the other guy agrees an then they both switch to ther other arm... well... the bully wanted to switch arms an i said oK but i dont need to... after a few mor hits he said we beter quit or we will be late for calss... he never wanted to play that game wit me agan... lol.!!!
     
  15. NetJaded Registered Member

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    Suing the parent of the bully or the school is ridiculous.

    One could argue that the parent of the child who committed suicide is just as liable for not being in touch with the emotional state of their own child. If they didn't know their child was suicidal, how would someone else be responsible for knowing their kid was a bully?

    And let's be real. Who do bullies target? Kids that are already identified as emotionally or socially weak and therefore the rest of the herd will join in or look the other way.

    Litigation does not promote morality.

    "My kid that I never talk to, who has been depressed since my divorce, killed himself because some kid at school called him fat. That should be worth $1m at least."
     
  16. visceral_instinct Monkey see, monkey denigrate Valued Senior Member

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    Not necessarily. It's difference that they don't like, at least in my experience. Someone who's quieter, smarter, unusual looking, or otherwise "far out on the bell curve" will cop it. You can be emotionally weak but you'll be okay if you fit in with the herd.
     
  17. birch Valued Senior Member

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    it's amazing how shallow and narrow this assessment is. what about those who target based on race? looks? dress? religion or no religion? jealousy? just plain prejudice? what if the bully just has poor or no morals or conscience? what about the weaknesses of those who join in because they'd rather fit in rather than stand up for what is right or for the other? what about the weakness of bystanders?

    have you ever considered that the bully could be the one that is socially or emotionally weak or even antisocial? sure, it may intimidate other kids and get admiration from those who think might is right or admire aggression but this kind of person could easily also smack their kids or unable to control their temper etc. is that emotionally strong? is this valuable?
     
    Last edited: Oct 10, 2010
  18. NetJaded Registered Member

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    Oh, there is no doubt a bully is defective in their emotional/social development.
     
  19. Yellow Jacket Registered Senior Member

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    This is not necesarily true anymore. Bullies travel in packs these days. It's become almost cool to bully. They target anyone who gets in their way. Of course that includes the emotionally or socially weak, but it isn't the necessary target anymore.

    And now that we have the internet, cyberbullying has become a constant normal thing. It comes from anyone who doesn't happen to like that one person. Easy to spread rumors that are hard to dispell. Easy to take conversations written online and edit them, easy to spread falsehoods, blackmail type of pictures and go ahead and post them.
     
  20. birch Valued Senior Member

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    5,077
    some observations just make me scratch my head. it's not the necessary target anymore? people sometimes or would be motivated to bully those they dislike? bullies have almost always traveled in packs but not always and it's been considered 'cool' to bully for quite awhile in schools but outside of school systems, the arrogance and self-centeredness that is a core of bullying is a component of society. there are people in their 50's, 60's, 70's etc right now that witnessed or were part of bullying even in school systems. then you have general society that commits it's own forms of bullying. it is also a fallacy that those who are bullied are necessarily socially or emotionally weak as in social skills. it is nothing more than a numbers game of majority vs minority. an ivey league nerd in a honkey tonk bar surrounded by butt-scratching bikers will be outnumbered and viewed as the socially or emotionally weak . it doesn't necessarily technically mean that the person is though they will by perceived by the other party in that context. often, some of the most humane or those with the best social skills are targeted if they are surrounded by those who are less evolved. differences are targeted. the interpretation of those differences is often erroneous to favor the ones with the power at the time.

    these are nothing new. bullying which is harassment or using aggression has been around since probably before humans could speak. even animals bully.

    unfortunately, not all bullying is done for a good reason, meaning bullies don't all have good qualities while the victim may have better qualities. this is why allowing bullies to do what they want degenerates a society or to it's lowest common denominator.

    if aggression didn't exist as well as forms of bullying, there would be no prison system or judicial system.

    children also are not the only ones who "bully."
     
    Last edited: Oct 11, 2010

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