Comparing Yourself

Discussion in 'General Philosophy' started by Cactus Jack, Jun 10, 2002.

  1. Cactus Jack Death Knight of Northrend Registered Senior Member

    Messages:
    816
    I've read before you shouldn't compare yourself to your friends and those around you and you should except who you are and your achievements. I just can't, I am constantly comparing myself to my friends and thos around me, I feel like a sub-standard human being. Like I could never live up to them or any kind of standard. I can't really find pride in my achievements because those around me are either phenomonally better at whatever I'm achieving in or whatever it is just goes unnoticed by eveyone, its relatively unimportant. I admit I'm too damn hard on myself but it seems to be reality, no matter how hadr I try I cannot escape it.

    Help! Is there any other way one can gauge oneself? Or is there any help I can get without feeling like I'll have to attempt to live a lie?
     
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  3. Tyler Registered Senior Member

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    4,888
    A lot of the time I sit back when I'm with my friends and feel like I'm the odd one out. Like I'm the one who doesn't belong. Like I'm the one who is a leech to the group.

    What you need to do is spend some time by yourself, removed from everyone. Until you find acceptance of the reality around you.

    You know what the reality of things are, you just haven't accepted them fully and embraced them. It's not easy for everyone, but it'll come. Good luck man.
     
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  5. Xev Registered Senior Member

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    Cactus: Like Tyler said, it will come with time. No offense, but you are young and still learning. You'll accept it, I think.

    Oh indeed! As if nobody truely understands or cares. I would feel that for days on end when I was 15 or so.

    Then I gradually came to accept that, yeah, nobody truely understands or cares, get on with it Xev!
     
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  7. Joeman Eviiiiiiiil Clown Registered Senior Member

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    I dunno what to tell you Jack. I was a bum when I was your age.

    If I was your age I would spend more time with family and relatives. I went to college out of state and after college I work out of state. I haven't been able to spend much time with with my folks since I graduated from high school.

    When my grandmother died, I realize the only thing in life that matters is the love and bonding with the people you care or people who care about you. Strangely I felt slightly homesick writing this message.
     
  8. wet1 Wanderer Registered Senior Member

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    8,616
    From the Desiderata
    .................................................................
    Be yourself. To find yourself spend some time with him. What I mean is, get away from tv, radio, computer, all the things that distract from inner contemplation. Find what makes you happy, what makes you sad. What brings you back up when you are down. Know yourself; for only in knowing yourself can you truely be you. No one else is required for this, in fact others around you are a distraction to the process.

    I have known others who could not stand the idea of being by themselves. As if they were terrified of who might be there when no one was around. I have known others who were the opposite. You will be much stronger to depend upon yourself and actually like yourself. It is not as if you are going to run away and leave behind who it is that is you; just as well get to know him. In the long run that is the only one you will always know to be there, no matter what.

    What Joeman says is very true. Family is a precious gift. It is only there for a time. The time seems long right now because you are young. It will not always be so. There will come the time when your grandparents pass away, your parents, and one by one some of your friends. Spend time now that you may enjoy them again after they are gone. It is something that there can be no price put upon.
     
  9. Tyler Registered Senior Member

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    'Life is what happens to you when you're busy making other plans'
    - Lennon
     
  10. Cactus Jack Death Knight of Northrend Registered Senior Member

    Messages:
    816
    Thanx guys, I appreciate the help.

    What you need to do is spend some time by yourself, removed from everyone. Until you find acceptance of the reality around you.

    That's the plan, assuming I can make it till summer. I need to tune out, get away from everything, not to think and analyxe everything - just to be. I don't think I'll talk to anyone for half the summer, just work and exercise. Hopefully I'll come back as some form of a human being.
     
  11. Ender Registered Senior Member

    Messages:
    294
    I have been feeling the same way.

    Time to join the isolation trip!!

    But you really just need to accept yourself, and to relize that everyone is different what's good for you might not be good for your friends!
     
  12. Cactus Jack Death Knight of Northrend Registered Senior Member

    Messages:
    816
    Yeah I suppose its kinda stupid to compare yourself to others, people can be vastly different, everyone is different from one another. But still they are happy and I'm not, but I guess that's something I have to find for my self.
     
  13. Ol-Skool Registered Senior Member

    Messages:
    30
    The beauty of being born and being alive is what you have to offer the world. We are all different from each other and have different things to offer. If we were all the same then this place would be more boring than our minds could imagine.

    You should never compare yourself to someone else, being friends, family or idle. You should always be yourself, because putting on any form of mask, act will only be a temporary happiness, but deep down you wont be happy. To be yourself, to the very core of your soul, is where you will find happiness, and if ppl like you along the way for who you are, then you have found a true friend. If you are being yourslelf and someone doesnt like nor understand you, F#$K em!

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    Peace,
    Andy
     

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