Death and dying. Parents, friends, yourself. What are your experiences?

Discussion in 'Free Thoughts' started by Captain Kremmen, May 2, 2014.

  1. Gerry Nightingale Banned Banned

    A further reply to stoniphi and AIP's re: death.

    I see two possibilities with regard to "death".

    (1) Our conscious "self" rapidly decays as the organic structures that support the brain no longer occasion of complete de-coherence of singular "mind" existence.

    (2) The organic components "die"...and the part of the mind that is "awareness of self" continues, at least in terms of "still part of the Universe" in some fashion. In essence, a "ghost" form

    of non-reality. (as much as I dis-like this concept, even my own theories regarding energy "support" it to some extent)

    In my concept of dimensional-energy (post deleted), in which I maintain there is a metric of "potential" of energy as a pre-existent factor, it is ?possible? that some form of consciousness is

    is in place. I am not proposing a "collective of awareness", but a singular "memory" of self...a dream-state in which past/present/future exist as a reality, and all possibilities of the previous

    incarnate are experienced as "dreams" without the limitations of the dreamer's former biological "life".

    This concept is very similar to the beliefs of the Aboriginal People of Australia, many of whom state that this life is nothing more than, essentially, a "dream within a dream". (On a personal level,

    this idea fills me with dread and terror...I am condemned forever to being "me?" I intensely loath being "me" in this life, and I must continue on some level with an awareness of "self" in a

    perpetual dream-state? What could be worse than this? So "Hell" is real after all?)

    I am somewhat amused that my "stuff" regarding theoretical physics was removed...I would think the "Bible-thumpers" would REJOICE over my concepts, as they actually support "Creationism!"

    (not by intention on my part...but they could easily be interpreted in this way. "Devine Inspiration", by way of Einstein!)

    Maybe I should contact that "wild-eyed" crowd in Kentucky? I could certainly use the money from advocating my own work as "Gods own Works" as revealed to me by thought and study!

    I can be a very convincing speaker, especially with the "Baptist" hillbilly crowd...I know what they want to hear!

    Frightening thought, isn't it?

    Okay...enough ranting.

    (Thanks for reading!)
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  3. Stoniphi obscurely fossiliferous Valued Senior Member

    Personally, my 2 favourite concert experiences were Antal Dorati conducting the DSO and choir for Beethoven's ninth at Ford Auditorium as per my request and the 1812 with a dozen French Howitzers at Meadowbrook, also as per my request.

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    This for 2 reasons: 1) the ninth and the 1812 are 2 of my favourite pieces of music and 2) because I was once in a heated discussion about the DSO's music scheduling with most of the wind and string sections of the symphony around a bonfire and put in my $0.02. The result was that they played those pieces for me at those venues.

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    I also got to go to the afterglow parties in the parking lot after each concert.

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    I like small audiences too, do not care for crowds.

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    100 is about the limit for me, keeps the show intimate and personal IMHO, you can get to interact with the individual members of the audience. Money is nice, but it ain't everything.
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  5. Gerry Nightingale Banned Banned

    In reply to stoniphy, re: death and music.

    "1812" is one of your faves? Not my "cuppa"...just "okay". (it leaves me cold, for some reason) Wagner for me! "Die Walkeries" and so on...lots of power!

    (can anyone explain the "why" of the demo of Cobo to me?)

    "Money is nice...but it ain't everything". My answer? long as you HAVE the money!

    As far as I can determine, their is only one "unforgivable sin" in America...being poor. I have a great deal of experience in this topic, spending about 2yrs. of my life living "al fresco" in my

    forties (a semi "Heart of Darkness" story, and very tedious) It took me years to recover from being homeless, and having my health ruined by inadequate food and sleeping outside.

    I went from 220 to 158 in a little over two months! At one point, my urine was so strong it would "melt" concrete and turn sand into glass! is MUCH better to suffer the "slings and arrows of outrageous fortune" with cash in your pocket. Trust me on this.

    I also wound up in a hospital...with no memory of the "why" or "how". I was just "there". (erratic BP w/concurrent episodes of hypotensive-induced myoclonic seizure activity, very low

    respirations...etc. etc.) In short, I close to dead from malnutrition.

    And I have been angry ever since! I should be DEAD...and I'm not.

    Why would "fate and circumstance" keep me alive, and "take" George Harrison? Or some child who has been cheated of the life they should have had?

    There seems little of logic and proportion involved with the process of disease/accidents with regard to death, at least in my own circumstances. Others who were or could have been valuable

    to society as a "whole" are gone...yet I am still here. Not fair, not right.

    (Thanks for reading! Cheerio!)...I like this word!
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  7. paddoboy Valued Senior Member

    When I kick the bucket, I want the people I leave behind, to give me the cheapest send off and burial possible.
    Leave me to the Buzzards if they wish!
    And there's only one tune I want them to play and sung by my Angel........
  8. StrangerInAStrangeLand SubQuantum Mechanic Valued Senior Member


    And your source is Mitch Albom. LOL
  9. Trooper Secular Sanity Valued Senior Member

    I liked the quote, big deal. As far as time perception goes, I would suggest David Eagleman.
  10. StrangerInAStrangeLand SubQuantum Mechanic Valued Senior Member

    I didn't like the quote. Big deal. Quotes of people making unsupportable suppositions are a dime a dozen. Thanks for suggesting someone who, like Albom, writes goofy crap about afterlife.
  11. Trooper Secular Sanity Valued Senior Member

    I did not know that. Thanks for the heads up.
  12. StrangerInAStrangeLand SubQuantum Mechanic Valued Senior Member

    My mother had a miserable life with a few tiny bits of joy like the stars that can be seen with the naked eye in an otherwise black sky. Her father abused her & drove her crazy & she tried to pass that to her children. She had physical health problems all her life also but she died suddenly of something none of her doctors ever mentioned. After she died, I grieved more for her sad life than for her inevitable death. My father lived a life of quiet desperation. He rarely showed any sign of being religious yet I was told that shortly before he died he said he was glad to be going to heaven. We had several months notice he was dying but there was nothing I could do about it & there is nothing I can do now. After I die, my brothers & sisters will probably claim I had a deathbed conversion.
  13. haircutter Registered Member

    I was the only person with both my parents,when they died.I am still trying to figure out how I feel about it.
  14. Arne Saknussemm trying to figure it all out Valued Senior Member

    Recently at the company cafeteria a younger colleague of mine who I had not known long mentioned that his mother had passed away the month before. Looking very mournful, he said that he thought that he was beginning to get over her death.

    I said, "My mum passed away twelve years ago this month. You never get over it." He understood completely. It was all I could do not to burst into tears right then and there with a mouthful of food.

    On a lighter note: About seven years after my dear old mum died, my father was visiting the mausoleum where her remains were laid to rest. It is a public mausoleum where several hundred of the deceased are interned. My father had lingered a bit at her appointed place, but knew the building was about to close down for the night, so he made his way to the elevator. Not realizing any visitors were still around, the custodian cut the building's power as my dad rode up the elevator to exit. The lift came to a grinding halt as his world went pitch black. The custodian realized his mistake when my father found the emergency button, and power was soon restored.

    My dad swears, absolutely swears that just after the lights went out, he heard his wife say, "Holy shit, Tom! What the hell did you do now!?"
  15. StrangerInAStrangeLand SubQuantum Mechanic Valued Senior Member

    Trying to figure how you feel about them dying or about you being the only person with them?

    I was far from each of my parents when they died. I guess I would prefer to have been with them but there was nothing I could do about it.
  16. StrangerInAStrangeLand SubQuantum Mechanic Valued Senior Member

    I have never said there is no afterlife & I never will unless I actually know that. If there is no afterlife, I do not think I will ever have any way to know it. I certainly will not know it after I die. As far as we know, death is truly death & the person then does not exist. Sometimes, in discussion, I have said that & people reply "I wonder what it feels like to not exist" or "I wonder what nothing feels like". I try to explain that there is no feeling in nothing & if you do not exist, there is no you to feel anything yet they often seem unable to understand. I think most people just cannot handle the possibility that they might cease to exist tho they seem to have no problem with the idea that they did not exist for a very long time before this life. Overwhelming survival instinct? Fear? Stupid stubborn resistance to a reality they cannot face?
  17. cosmictraveler Be kind to yourself always. Valued Senior Member

    Death and dying. Parents, friends, yourself. What are your experiences?

    Life happens and I don't dwell on death for it to shall come to pass with me so I just carry on the best I can and doing what I can to help out.
  18. haircutter Registered Member

    I have never thought about it in that way until you asked the question.I think that it is hard not having anyone to share the experience with.I have talked about it but that is not the same as someone else being there to know how it really was.
  19. Dazz Registered Senior Member

    You know, my mom died in September, 2012, after roughly 20 years of taking care of my grandma alone.
    Me and my father did all the best we could, we used to live together so, all my mom had been through we had to witness.
    On her later years, she was getting depressed, stopped taking care of herself. Thanks to her sisters, who didn't give a shit, and would occasionally drop by to ask for money.
    She smoked, had two strokes, but she died of depression. Caused by the burden of having to take care of an ill person alone, without the aid of her sisters.

    I was seeing it already, my father accompanied her on the ambulance, I stood home with grandma.
    He called, drowning in tears, as his 25 years-long wife had just died.

    I kept calm, and told my grandma that she would be coming back soon... It was around 6 in the morning.

    Around midday, all the family was gathered together in our house, and one of her sisters had to tell my bedridden granny that her daughter was dead.

    My grandmother lasted 1 year without the cares of my mother.
    She was taken to one of my aunt's house.

    I have not forgotten the nights when I got home to see my mom holding her weep.

    When they die, my aunts (all 3 of them), I want to open their coffins, grab their dead-cold faces, spit on it, and say "I see you in hell!"

    They have taken moments from my life, that I will never have.
    I was 19 by the time.
    Last edited: Jun 23, 2014
  20. haircutter Registered Member

    Holding hate in your heart gives your aunts power over you. They know what they did. Let them deal with the guilt and free yourself from their selfishness.Who will be there to take care of them when they become ill?I'll bet it won't be you.
  21. Dazz Registered Senior Member

    Yea... I know that.

    I should let it go Disney style but that is exactly the problem I have. . .

    I am being just dumb but... sometimes I feel that that is the only thing keeping me going...

    When I try to forget, these reminiscences gallop to my very sight...

    It revolves in my stomach, never being digested. Stupid, plain stupid.
  22. haircutter Registered Member

    I don,t think that you are stupid. You feel how you feel. Can you try replacing bad memories with good ones? I am sure that there are plenty of good memories in your life. When a bad one comes to mind try to replace it with a good one, no matter how small.Please don,t let the aunts ruin the rest of your life.
  23. StrangerInAStrangeLand SubQuantum Mechanic Valued Senior Member

    I nearly posted here the day I heard Ruby Dee died. Others have left us since & just now I heard about James Garner. They had long productive lives & were loved & admired by many so why do I feel like something is wrong. It would be nice to know they yet exist somewhere some way. Same, of course, for friends & family & many others. It would be nice to know good is rewarded & the bad guys get another chance to get it right. The reality tho is we do not know & without proof, it is only speculative dreaming. Tho I criticize some for not facing reality, I think I can understand how difficult it is to accept that people are truly gone. IF I could meet & talk with many people without the constraints & stupidity of this world. I wish I could shake hands with Mark Twain, have lunch with Dorothy Parker & give Janis 1 more kiss.

    Don't mean to be morbid yet I wonder how much longer we'll have Clint Eastwood, Shirley MacLaine & others.

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