Diary of a new Canadian Immigrant...

Discussion in 'Art & Culture' started by static76, Aug 9, 2002.

  1. static76 The Man, The Myth, The Legend Registered Senior Member

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    Aug. 12 - Moved to our new home in Canada. I am so excited.It's so beautiful here. The mountains are so majestic. Can hardly wait to see them with snow covering them.

    Oct. 14 - Canada. It is the most beautiful place on earth. The leaves have turned all colours and shades of red and orange. Went for a ride through the beautiful countryside and saw some deer. They are so graceful. Certainly they are the most wonderful animals on earth. This must be paradise. I love it here.

    Nov. 11 - Remembrance Day. Deer season starts soon. I can't imagine anyone wanting to kill such a gorgeous creature. Hope it snows soon. I love it here.

    Dec. 2 - It snowed last night. Woke up to find everything blanketed with white. It looks like a postcard. We went outside and cleaned the snow off the steps and shoveled the driveway. We had a snowball fight (I won). When the snow plough came by we had to shovel the driveway again. What a beautiful place. I love Canada.

    Dec. 12 - More snow last night. The snow plough did his trick again to the driveway. I love it here.

    Dec. 19 - More snow last night. Couldn't get out of the driveway to get to work. It's beautiful here but I'm exhausted from shoveling. Friggin snow plough.

    Dec. 22 - More of that white shit fell last night. I've got blisters on my hands and a sore back from shoveling. I think the snow plough hides around the corner until I'm done shoveling the driveway. Asshole.

    Dec. 25 - Merry F'ng Christmas! More frigging snow. If I ever get my hands on the son-of-a-bitch who drives the snow plough,I swear I'll kill the bastard. Don't know why they don't use more salt on the roads to melt the friggin ice.

    Dec. 27 - More white shit last night. Been inside for three days now except for shoveling out the driveway after that snow plough goes through every time. Can't go anywhere, the car's stuck in a mountain of white shit and it's so frigging cold. The weatherman says to expect another 10 inches of the shit again tonight. Do you know how many shovels full of snow 10 inches is?

    Dec. 28 - That fucking weatherman was wrong. We got 34 inches of the shit this time. Can you believe that he missed it by 24 inches. At this rate it won't melt before summer. The snow plough got stuck up in the road and that bastard came to my door and asked to borrow my shovel. After I told him that I had already broken six shovels shoveling out all the shit he had pushed into my driveway, I damn near broke my last one over his bloody head.

    Jan. 4 - Finally got out of the house today. Went to the store to get food and on my way back a damned deer ran in front of the car. Did about $3,000 damage to the car. Those stinkin' beasts should be killed. The bastards are everywhere. Wish the hunters had exterminated them all last November.

    May 3 - Took the car to the garage in town. Would you believe the thing is rusted out from all that blody salt they put all over the roads. ??

    May 10 - Moved to Florida. I can't imagine why anyone in their right mind would ever want to live in such a God forsaken place as Canada.

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  3. Thor "Pfft, Rebel scum!" Valued Senior Member

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    LOL, nice twists as it goes through
     
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  5. %BlueSoulRobot% Copyright! Copyright!! Registered Senior Member

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    *puts away the Welcome To Canada banner, and complimentary champagne*

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    Great story! lol!

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  7. Chagur .Seeker. Registered Senior Member

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    Hell ...

    Why hassle the poor Canadians?

    Just come to Western NY, Buffalo area.

    Take care

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  8. Tyler Registered Senior Member

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    Good! We don't need weaklings here! Let them go to Florida! Home of the retired old Jewish people! They can handle America!
     
  9. static76 The Man, The Myth, The Legend Registered Senior Member

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    A typical day in Canada..., I think I'll take a pass.

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  10. %BlueSoulRobot% Copyright! Copyright!! Registered Senior Member

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    Is that garbage can in the background on fire??

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  11. static76 The Man, The Myth, The Legend Registered Senior Member

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    lol!
     
  12. (Q) Encephaloid Martini Valued Senior Member

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    A little perspective.

    Average annual snowfall in some American cities:

    Valdez, AK 326.8 inches
    Blue Canyon, CA 240.3 inches
    Mt Washington, NH 259.6 inches

    The highest annual snowfall in Canada is in Corner Brook, Newfoundland 166 inches
     
  13. %BlueSoulRobot% Copyright! Copyright!! Registered Senior Member

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    lol

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    I notice these things..

    Also, it looks like the man is smoking a joint...take a look at the perspective of the flying snow and his mouth. Two joints, in fact!

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    And it looks like there is a miniature beached whale at the bottom left-hand corner...

    Man...if you stare too long at the picture, you start to see weeeird things in the flying snow....

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