Discussion in 'Ethics, Morality, & Justice' started by MetaKron, Jan 22, 2008.
:yay::thumbsup: Yeah, I haven't been able to get an example out of him yet.
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There is nothing wrong with a woman staying home taking care of the kids after they are born. If more women or (men) stayed home with their kids instead of dumping them off in a daycare center as soon at their maternity stay was over, I doubt there would be so many BRATS running around. I am not one for deciding to have a bunch of babies them dumping them off for someone else to raise for the majority of the day. I am for mothers staying home with the little ones until they are off to school ( if that is possible)
It's a fulltime job taking care of little ones and keeping the house in order. I don't think they are DEPENDING on the MALE to feed them. I think it is a decision that a couple makes that is best for their family.
Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! Yeah, I know how you mean, when I was 12 I had a friend who said she wanted to marry a rock star. I could never understand that, how could anyone just want to be someone's girlfriend or someone's wife and not have a job of their own?
I really don't think it's as simple as 'daycare when young = vandal in later life'.
Why mothers? Why not fathers? Could they not just flip a coin? (no, that was not serious, but why the automatic suggestion that it should be the mother?)
Maybe it's an important fulltime job, I think I'd probably end up flipping out and murdering someone though.
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I said in brackets (or men father)
No it isn't that cut and dry, but alot of parents look for price when it comes to daycare and not quality. I know alot of parents that left kids in daycares and were pretty much neglected all day. Personally I rather me or my partner be the main influence in their lives from the time they are newborns till they start kindergarten. I know it's not possible for everyone but some ppl just do not WANT to stay home with them. I say if that is the case why have them in the first place? I mean if you have an average paying job, and you have to pay for daycare are you coming out much further ahead? Are you doing the best for you kids, leaving them with strangers all day. Nobody is going to take care of your kids as well as you would. They don't love or have there best interests at heart. For most it's just get through the day with them and get a paycheck. If you have the option to stay home but decide not to do so because it's boring or you would go nuts, then don't have any kids, and have a big career.
In our case it was the opposite. I expected my wife to depend on me to feed her and the kids and I expected her to care for our kids and our house. Before me she was a worker and I turned her into the housewife and mother that I wanted. Call me a chauvinist. IMO, a mother's place is at home.
I'm one of those people that doesn't want to stay home. I get a lot of satisfaction from work. I like working. Do you tell men "If you aren't going to stay home with them, why did you bother having them?" I got this kind of grief from my ex-husband's family. All the women in his family quit working as soon as the first baby arrived. That was a foreign concept in my family. I wasn't raised like that.
My kids stay with strangers at school all day, so I don't see a difference with them going to daycare/preschool. :shrug: I think it makes them well adjusted and not clingy. It helps with their independence.
There may not be much difference "most" of the time but there are times we daycare/preschool aged kids need the care and attention to detail they receive from someone that actually loves them....
If your daycare looks at your kid as a dollar amount, then you need to find another daycare. I did. And not for one second do I think they don't care about my kids. And yes, I did have to suck it up and send her to a church daycare to get that kind of caring.
Good for you. I hate how it is seen as perfectly normal for a man to have both a career and a family, but when a woman wants that they're seen as wanting something for nothing...what's that horrible annoying phrase...'having it all.'
I agree. When they are at school with strangers they are at an age where they can tell you exactly what is going on at school. They can tell you if they were picked on or whatever. When they are babies or too young to talk they can't tell you if they were put in a room all day to cry! That is what I am talking about. I know somebody that found out that their child was basically left alone other then to eat. She did a unexpected visit to find her son laying in a very full diaper crying. The daycare provider prob just changed him shortly before the mother would pick him up each day.
My plan before having kids, discussed with my husband was that I would stay home while they were very young. Sure If I had made as much money as he did at the time he could have stayed home. But why would I go to work for 10.00 an hour when he was making 25.00......
I mean typically where I live daycare for a baby for 8+ hours is $25-40 a day. That isn't even min wage. I really don't think they are going way and beyond to take care of your children, changing diapers, crying, and stimulating them for that kind of money. There is no doubt in my mind that taking care of your own children when they are babies and toddlers is the best thing for them. I have heard too many horror stories of daycares or independant providers, to even want to take the chance. Not if I had the CHOICE to stay home with them or going to work to get out of the house. There is always time to get back to work when they start school.
I don't know if it the case with this person, but I think a lot of men - on this issue - and people in general - resent when society changes and they can't act the abusive way people used to get to.
When they whine, they tend not to show weakness, but simply anger. This keeps them from noticing that they are
2) acting just like all the people they once told how to live their lives and to stop blaming their problems on society.
I know a young lady that worked at one of these places for a couple of weeks and quit because they were only allowed to change the diapers twice a day, once at 10 and once at 2. All the kids that crapped shortly after had to wear it until the next diaper change or pick up.
Jesus... that's maltreatment Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
And the problem is it not uncommon. Like I said before these ppl work for less then Min. wage in most cases, at least home daycare providers do. Haven't you ever seen the hidden cameras ppl place in their own homes even to watch what goes on all day with nannies, it's horrible. One I watched was slapping the kid only 5 min. after the mother left, because he wasn't eating fast enough in his high chair. Then she took him out and threw him quite hard into a sofa type chair, turned the TV on and told him to sit there and watch TV. The whole time he was crying and they were bleeping out what he was yelling at him Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! then she started hitting him again. Then she talked on the phone most of the day, while he sat by himself.
The parents after watching this were so upset and crying that this had been going on. Babies, toddlers can't speak for themselves it's when they can be treated poorly or abused without being able to defend themselves. I know I could get frustrated and stressed out with my own kids, can you imagine a stranger with your kids :bugeye:
Why would you let strangers raise them in the most important developemental yrs, if you have the option to do it yourself. Yes you are letting them raise your kid if you are dropping them off at 7am and picking them up at 6 pm. Then you go home and shortly after that they go to bed to repeat the whole thing again.
Yes, horrible things happen.. I've got the feeling that half of those daycare providers are not fit for their job..
And some children would be better off in childcare. As many horror stories there are about daycare, there are about parents. I bet Andrea Yates would have loved to have sent her kids to daycare. But she had people (husband included) telling her that she needed to stay home with her kids. Look at the results.
Sure, there are exceptions but they seem to be the few...
exceptions to what? Bad daycare or bad parents?
Day care would then be ON TOP of the parents being horrible parents. The kids spend time at both places.
You would have to see yourself as a pretty bad parent to think that a daycare would love and take care of your child better then you.
There are bad parents out there to, who aren't fit to raise any kids at all. I am not talking about them though. I am talking about making the CHOICE of working, when you don't NEED to financially. Why would you do that, trust strangers with your innocent baby when you don't have to?
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