Does your wife know too much about you?

Discussion in 'Free Thoughts' started by Muslim, Dec 13, 2009.

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  1. mordea Registered Senior Member

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    So she's going to be upset? Big deal. What is she going to do about it?

    If you *prevent* someone from doing something, then obviously you are impinging on their free will and are therefore exercising some level of control over them.

    She can politely suggest and request, but at the end of the day the decision rests with Muslim. The notion that the wife is allowed to 'control' the husband is absurd, something I'd expect from pussy whipped men in the West. Better to cut your balls off and live as an eunuch than become a bitch to your 'significant other'.

    As the leader, guider and doer. Men tend to be more strong-willed, ambitious, egotistical, resourceful and quick thinking than women.

    The man guides and leads, the woman follows, supports, and has the man's back. And yes, it works in my own relationships.
     
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  3. Killjoy Propelling The Farce!! Valued Senior Member

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    In his case, I think it's less that people wish that he had a domineering spouse than that any given individual would - preferably on a regular basis - beat him to a pulp.
     
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  5. Bebelina kospla.com Valued Senior Member

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    :roflmao:


    :jason:
     
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  7. WillNever Valued Senior Member

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    Mordea: what country are you from and where do you live now?

    Are you asian..?
     
  8. WillNever Valued Senior Member

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    No, that is no longer the norm in the USA. Most women work.
     
  9. codanblad a love of bridges Registered Senior Member

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    *edit woops you already responded*
     
    Last edited: Dec 14, 2009
  10. James R Just this guy, you know? Staff Member

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    mordea:

    The women don't get a say in denying their ex-husbands custody of the children. If there is a disagreement on divorce, then the court makes an order in the interests of the child.

    You seem to have some weird ideas about divorce. Probably it isn't allowed wherever it is that you live. Wives just have to put up with abusive husbands such as yourself.

    Alimony is a kind of compensation. You ought to find out what it is before you going saying it is a bad idea. Also, in my country, there's really no such thing.

    Of course you will. You're a man, and you apparently live in a society that treats women as second-class citizens who exist only to serve men and have babies.

    If you were a woman, or if you talked to your wife (are you married? Probably not) then you might get a different perspective. As things stand, you're just one more spoilt Muslim mummy-boy.
     
  11. codanblad a love of bridges Registered Senior Member

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    if you love your wife, you'd care about her feelings. if you don't love her, why marry?

    i was implying a person should be able to ask a spouse to behave appropriately.

    i don't think either spouse should control the other, they should be honest and share their feelings and act accordingly.

    i don't know what women you hang out with, but you should raise the bar. my girlfriend got the dean's award this year, she's far more ambitious than me. we each have different strengths and weaknesses, like any two people. My social studies lecturer said there are studies showing perceived gender differences like emotion stability, intelligence etc. are inaccurate, also take conditioning into account. girls are groomed to be housewives from birth and treated like princesses. strong seas make skillful sailors, not the other way round.

    Have you been married? how long did your relationships last? what levels of closeness/trust/understanding did you achieve? you sound like an embittered serial bachelor to me.
     
  12. mordea Registered Senior Member

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    And yet the courts in your 'progressive' nation often rule in their favour, only allowing fathers to see their children every few weeks (or months!).

    And often in the interests of the woman. The mother could be a prostitute and drug user, but it's still an uphill battle for the father to obtain custody of the children.

    Whoa, are personal attacks allowed on this forum? I could swear that when I signed up here and read the rules, they prohibited character assassination.

    Anyway, I'm not an abusive partner by any stretch. When I start dating girls, I make it very clear how the relationship will be: With me as the leader. What I say goes. If they don't like this, then they are free to leave. If they aren't happy with the relationship after some time, then they are free to leave. No arguing, no emotional blackmail, no hitting (as happens quite often in the West), just leave. And surprise surprise, some women actually enjoy such a relationship where a confident, ambitious man leads and decides.

    Alimony is nothing more than prostitution. You're essentially paying for the whore to leave.

    What is 'your' country?

    I re-iterate, a woman is free to leave the relationship at any time. It's either my way, or the highway. She chooses to surrender some of her independence in return for guidance, support and direction.

    Whoa, more personal attacks. Why don't you stick with attacking my beliefs, rather than me as an individual?
     
  13. mordea Registered Senior Member

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    I'm from Dubai. I'm currently studying in the U.S, and also studied for several years in the U.K.
     
  14. James R Just this guy, you know? Staff Member

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    mordea:

    How much do you know about the Australian practice of Family Law? I'm getting the impression it is round about zero.

    Is it? Please cite the statistics you're relying on.

    And girls in Dubai put up with that, do they? But women there don't really have equal rights under the law, do they?

    You're making assumptions of infidelity on the part of the women. Why?

    Where I live, we have no fault divorce. That is, a husband or wife can ask for a divorce without having to prove any fault or failure of their partner.

    But stick to the point: alimony is essentially non-existent where I live. Even in the US it is rarely granted (less than 10% of divorces), and usually limited to the short term (a couple of years, say). To get it, one partner (which can be the woman or the man, by the way) must prove need - i.e. that they cannot support themselves and that their partner can afford to support them in the short term.

    Australia.

    Guidance? From you? Hahahaha! They must laugh when you tell them that.
     
  15. mordea Registered Senior Member

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    Correct. However, I am aware of the trend in the West where it is usually the mother who is awarded custody of the child. Ahh, the sweet smell of equality. Oh, wait...


    I don't need statistics. I have something better: My own observations while studying in the West. Indeed, the case I described happened to a friend of mine. A very costly legal battle was required simply so that he could be awarded custody of the child in preference to the drug using girlfriend.


    Girls in a lot of areas 'put up with it'. This may shock you, but some women actually want a dominant man. However, it's very important that you don't just talk the talk, but also walk the walk.

    By equal rights, do you mean that they are shown preference in regards to divorce procedures and domestic violence laws? If that's what you mean, then no.

    A whore has sex for money. A woman who divorces and then claims alimony had sex with you for your money.

    Um, ok?

    Do you have a source for those stats? Even then, the very fact that alimony exists is an abomination.

    Why should their partner (usually a male) be bound to support someone they have divorced? If the whore had wanted to keep draining their partner's purse, they should have remained married!

    Oh you crazy Westerners!

    Nope. You see, I make my success and masculinity quite apparent, so when I lay my terms out on the table, they know that I am dead serious.
     
  16. S.A.M. uniquely dreadful Valued Senior Member

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    In principle, I agree with this, if there are no children. Its ridiculous that one of a divorced couple have to finance the other simply because they used to be married. Its different if there are children and one has the burden of care.
     
  17. mordea Registered Senior Member

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    Wait, there are men in the West who demand alimony? Oh my god! Hahahahahah!
     
  18. S.A.M. uniquely dreadful Valued Senior Member

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    The partner who makes more pays the alimony. Surely you know that?
     
  19. mordea Registered Senior Member

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    Of course. I just find it laughable that men claim alimony from women. Have men in the West descended so far that they must rely on sustanence from their ex-wife? Pfft.
     
  20. James R Just this guy, you know? Staff Member

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    mordea:

    I assume you have no children yourself. As a "dominant" man, you've no doubt never bothered to find out what is involved in raising children. The facts of life are these: women around the world, in all nations, even yours, do the vast majority of child rearing.

    Who raised you, mordea? Did you have a mother? Who fed you? Who dressed you? Was it your father?

    If mothers in my country are "usually" awarded custody of the child (a claim you have no evidence for), then it is either (a) because husbands and wives agree to that, or (b) because courts decide in many cases that it is in the best interests of the child.

    You ought to research the difference between fact and anecdote.

    Your own very limited experience-by-proxy hardly equips you to make general pronouncements on this topic.

    But wait! Your friend was awarded custody! And he's a man. Wow! Are you arguing against yourself?

    Yes. And some women drift from loser to loser, making the same mistake over and over again.

    Let's get specific.

    Under what circumstances can a woman be granted a divorce in Dubai? Does the same apply to a man?

    What about a man who claims alimony after divorcing his wife? Is he a whore, too?

    Try wikipedia for a start. There's a whole article on Alimony. It's easy to find, although it only talks about the United States. Go educate yourself.

    An example would be where a woman has kept the house and looked after the children while the man worked. If the woman has given up a career to provide child care for the man's children and to look after him and his home, thus forsaking income, and perhaps contributed to the monetary value of the house itself in many ways, then it makes perfect sense that when she divorces and needs a little time to establish herself in a home of her own, with a paying job etc., her ex-husband should cover some of these costs.

    Alimony is only one aspect of any divorce settlement. Division of property is another major one. Where property cannot be divided fairly, alimony provides one way to compensate.

    You should read up on this.

    Why do you assume the wife wanted the divorce? What if the husband initiated the divorce? Shouldn't he have remained married? What if he divorced her because he had an affair with somebody else and wanted to split? Should he remain married?
     
  21. S.A.M. uniquely dreadful Valued Senior Member

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    As compared to simply taking what daddy made? Whats the difference?

    If they are stay-at-home fathers who take on the responsibility of the home and children, they should be given the same consideration following divorce.

    Or do you think fatherhood is worth less than motherhod?
     
  22. mordea Registered Senior Member

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    No wonder, when courts routinely grant custody to the woman.

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    Both my mother and father were responsible for raising me.

    http://www.lonefathers.org.au/
    http://www.mensrights.com.au/page12ae.htm
    Seems like things are so bad for men in Australia that they have been obliged to form action groups to fight for the rights of men. Wow, you Western men really let your control slip, huh?

    A claim you have no evidence for.

    My anecdote is fact. I mean, seriously, are you trying to get me to disregard my own observations of the world around me?

    Quite the contrary. If a father must fight for years to get sole custody of his children from a mother who is a drug addict, then that suggests something is seriously wrong with the system.

    Wow! Are you erecting a strawman?

    Oh dear. Men have fallen so far in the West that they associate success, power, confidence and strength of will with being a loser. No wonder there are such high rates of male depression and suicide in your country. Inherently masculine traits are denounced as evil, leaving men feeling confused, out of place and emasculated.


    Try wikipedia. Go educate yourself.

    It hardly makes perfect sense. It was the woman's personal choice to take on the role of homebearer. No one forced her to take on that 'handicap', any more than the man is forced to take on the 'handicap' of having the burden to provide for his family. Marriage isn't an 'IOU' arrangement, it's a compromise made of mutual exchanges and sacrifices. Asking for 'payback' after the bond is broken is juvenile, retarded and therefore typically Western. You might as well argue that since the father sacrificed contact time with the children to progress in a career, he should have the greater share of custody in the event of divorce.

    No thanks. I can only have so much hilarity in one night.

    Yes. He should either remain married, or make it on his own. Relying on your ex-spouse for succor defeats the whole purpose of a divorce.
     
  23. mordea Registered Senior Member

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    There's a huge difference. It's only expected that a parent gives what they have to their bloodline, the parent-child bond is never broken. On the other hand, the marriage bond can be broken (ie. in the event of the divorce). In such a case, neither partner owes any responsibility to the other. Seeking succor from your ex-partner is the equivalent of begging on the street for handouts from strangers.

    Don't get me wrong, I do think that an adult offspring should be self-sufficient and not reliant on handouts from their parents. But I'd give whatever is necessary to my offspring to secure their future. Giving to your children is essentially giving to yourself, as their success is your own.

    A man who sacrifices his career to care for the children makes a conscious choice to do so. Much as the woman sacrifices her time with the children to pursue a career. Neither should be compensated for their sacrifices in the event of a divorce.
     
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