How about I kick you in the kidney repeatedly, then you can't complain because, after all, what's an old guy being kicked compared to all those kids dying everywhere?
I doubt very much that they train drug-sniffing dogs to look for Advil, so that probably wasn't an option. Which just underscores how ridiculous the whole thing was.
Oh my God! Prescription Advil! That's 600mg of pure Advil!!! Why you'd have to take 3 pills of regular Advil to reach those levels of advilness. The horror!!! The risk to the other students!!! Three non addictive, zero fun Advil squeezed into a single pill!!! No measure is too extreme to protect ourselves from this threat!!! It will be necessary to strip search all women on this forum immediately!!! Just in case you know...