Errors in the Bible ?

Discussion in 'Religion' started by Ted Grant II, Dec 8, 2016.

  1. Ted Grant II Registered Senior Member

    Some people, possessed by evil spirits, think there are errors in the Holy Bible.
    Huh ! This is not possible, as it is the Word of God and therefore is perfect and without error of any kind.
    How do we know it is the Word of God ? Because it says so in the Bible (duh!).

    You may think you've found one or two errors, but you'd be wrong - obviously !!
    And it's easy to prove !!!
    Let's take a couple of hypothetical cases to illustrate the method to adopt,
    then we'll take a couple of real examples, then move to the general case (like in mathematics !).

    For example, suppose the Bible said Black is White and Black is Black.
    It looks like a contradiction, but only because you don't know everything !
    You see, there is no PURE black, anywhere ! There's always a bit of white !!
    So now the contradiction disappears!!!

    Another example: suppose the Bible said 1 plus 1 is 5.
    Again, to the wicked person, it seems to be an error.
    But that person would be sadly mistaken.
    You see the first 1 refers to one family of 3 people
    The second 1 refers to a family of 2 people.
    3+2 = 5
    Again, no error!!!!

    Suppose the Bible says that the father of Joseph is Jacob in one verse,
    but in another, it says his father is Heli, it seems to be a contradiction !
    (Non-believers leap on this example with glee, but are easily corrected!!!!!)
    But is isn't, because all we have to claim is that when it says Joseph,
    which it clearly does, we say that it's really Mary !
    How come? Well in those days, women were unimportant and were always
    represented by their husbands. So If you met Mary in the street, you would
    call her Joseph, because by marriage, she becomes him in the eyes of God,
    therefore the father of Joseph is Heli by proxy. Again no error.

    Everybody knows that Jesus said Love your enemies (good). In a little known passage
    in Luke chapter 14, Jesus said you must hate your family (bad). This, on the face of it
    makes Jesus look like a crazy person. In fact, all it requires is a little interpretation.
    You see, with the right interpretation, anything can be fixed. Here's how....
    When he said Love your enemies, what he meant was, try to negotiate with them before
    going to war and when he said Hate your family, what he meant was you should love
    Jesus more than your family ! See, it all makes perfect sense now.
    All you have to do is think, what would make Jesus look good !
    After all, he is the living God, so he must be good - right!?

    And now (general case) we can see that where ever there appears to be an error,
    all we have to do is THINK how to get around it. There's always a way !!!!

    This, at first, may seem hard stuff, you know, thinking etc., but fear not,
    (as the Angel Michael once said), we Christians have been working on this for 2000 years or more.
    All the errors have been examined and clever people have constructed answers for ALL the so-called errors.
    There are gallons of answers on the "Line", all you need to do is search !

    Actually, you don't need to search, just have faith that the hard work has been done.
    Have a rest.
    Trust in the Lord.
    Remember he loves you.
    And his Son died in your place.
    That's real love.
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  3. ForrestDean Registered Senior Member

    So in other words everything is subjective rendering the Bible irrelevant.
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  5. MacGyver1968 Fixin' Shit that Ain't Broke Valued Senior Member

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  7. spidergoat pubic diorama Valued Senior Member

    Is slavery moral?
  8. Russ_Watters Not a Trump supporter... Valued Senior Member

    Uh, no, we know it is not the word of God (literally) because the people who wrote it have their names listed as the titles of the chapters they wrote! (duh!).

    There are certian parts that claim to be dictated, quoted or directly inspired by God/Jesus but the vast majority of the Bible isn't even written in a style that could be reasonably described as "inspired by God" except in a broad/vague/Chicago sense. It is humans telling stories and describing events from their own points of view.

    And besides the obvious fallability of men and context of the body of knowledge of humankind at the time it was written, we know it cotains errors because it contains four chapters describing the same events differently!
    Last edited: Dec 9, 2016
  9. spidergoat pubic diorama Valued Senior Member

    I doubt there is a God, but the people who wrote those chapters were most certainly not the people they were named after.
  10. origin Heading towards oblivion Valued Senior Member

    Using that logic (I am using the term logic very loosely here) everything every written has no errors!!!! Golly!!!!
  11. exchemist Valued Senior Member

    I take your point, but would invite you consider what the "errors" are in an allegory, or in poetry. And there were people in the c.17th that thought reading novels was suspect because they were "lies", i.e. fiction. But works of fiction can contain truths, or valuable commentaries on the human condition. The bible is a literary work, not a science manual, and needs to be read with that in mind.
  12. MacGyver1968 Fixin' Shit that Ain't Broke Valued Senior Member

    I'm reasonably sure that the OP is a parody...or at least I hope it is. Classic example of Poe's law.
  13. James R Just this guy, you know? Staff Member

    Another problem with the opening post is that the fundamentalists say that we must read the bible literally. You can't just go around interpreting the bible. It's words must be given their literal meaning.

    If, for example, the bible said God created the Sun both after and before he created light, then both of those things must be true at the same time. Somehow.
  14. sweetpea Valued Senior Member

    ''In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth'' . Is this ''heavens'' a reference to a multiverse?
  15. Seattle Valued Senior Member

    Is "skies" a reference to a multiverse? Of course not.

    It's a reference to the firmament. You know, that bowl where you separate the waters above from the waters below. Embedded in the bowl are the sun, stars and planets of course, all spinning around Earth.
    sweetpea likes this.
  16. sweetpea Valued Senior Member

    It's a cloudy heaven today where I am. What's the heaven like where you are? When you die,which heaven will you be going to?
    Or, which hell?
    Last edited: Dec 12, 2016
  17. Seattle Valued Senior Member

    The firmament isn't doing a good job today of holding back the waters where I live. The Earth is still flat though and everything is still revolving around me so I'm good.
  18. Dinosaur Rational Skeptic Valued Senior Member

    One obvious error resulted in the myth relating to Lilith, Adam's first wife.

    In the early verses of Genesis, a man & woman are created on the same day. Later Adam, is described as not having a mate. The later story describes a woman (Eve) created using flesh taken from his side. The discrepancy between the two stories was the basis for legends about Adam having a first wife named Lilith. I do not know how the name was chosen.

    BTW: I think the description of Eve being created from a rib is due to an incorrect translation.

    The modern bible seems to have been created by combining different versions of various stories, which were maintained by an oral tradition before being written down in an early version of the Old Testament.
  19. spidergoat pubic diorama Valued Senior Member

    The mustard seed isn't the smallest seed. The Earth isn't flat. The Bible is full of factual errors.
  20. timojin Valued Senior Member


    The bible speaks to people in in examples of their time , ( You speak to children in their language and to adult in their language )
  21. spidergoat pubic diorama Valued Senior Member

    Doesn't explain factual and moral errors.
  22. DaveC426913 Valued Senior Member


    Here's my text: QXz8&c!5d#

    Interpret QXz8& as 'To be'
    And interpret c!5d# as 'Or not to be'
    Poof! My text is a classic.
  23. Xelasnave.1947 Valued Senior Member

    Hi Tim
    You are probably on the right track.

    I do not understand why the bible is used today.

    We live in different times so why should folk of this age look to those ancient verses as relevant today.
    Clearly many propositions in the bible are, by todays views and aquired knowledge, incorrect and yet there are those who defend it as being an unquestionable authority for today.

    It seems strange why they do yet they do.

    The bible was written by folk who were by todays standards ignorant about so many things yet their interpretations are still respected even when shown to be incorrect.


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