csreech, I realize that words are of little value to you at a time like this, but it's all I can offer. First, I am so sorry for your tragic loss. You have ended up the real victim, because you're the one left to pick up the pieces and contemplate the meaning behind such a meaningless act. Don't spend too much time trying to understand the "why" behind all this. It doesn't matter why. It happened and now it's over. No blame, no explanation. You could make yourself crazy trying to understand the reasons it happened. You've been thrust onto the stage of adulthood now. But you'll be fine. Trust in yourself and move on. This, in the end, will only prove to make you a stronger person.
Dear screech Please let us all know how you're going from time to time. I sent you a PM and I can see that everyone is worried about how you are going. I think I speak for all of us when I say we all feel for you. I saw you wrote a message to say thanks, but just to keep us from worrying about you, please keep in touch. If you have any questions there are plenty of wonderful people in this forum that will try to help. Take care, Teri
I do agree with Teri on this, keep in touch.... Most of the times it helps knowing there are people somewhere who care about you.... Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! So you keep in touch, with or without questions or otherwise... Everything is ok....... Talk to you laterPlease Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
Hi people, I just wanted to let everyone know that I am seeing a counselor and getting treatment to help cope. I seem to be doing a little better but this is something that will take a long time to get over If I get over it at all. The counselor is really helpful and really seems to care. Once again I thank you all for your support. God Bless.
Understand, there are people that lost their Father, Mother, Brother, Sister, Son or Daughter - over 6000 wonderful people. We mere mortals can not fathom God's mind. He has his reason. Someday hopefully it will be revealed to us. Until then keep the faith. Be good, do good.
Hi csreech, I was really glad to hear that you are now seeing a cousellor. That's the first step in the right direction. No doubt the counsellor does care, as I think it's pretty much a calling rather than an occupation. I was wondering whether you have other family? Brothers or sisters? I noticed your quote reads "If you can't trust your family, what else is there?" I'd like to say something about that. I've thought that very same thing from time to time with my own family. Nothing as heartbreaking as you have been through, but there have been times in my life where I have questioned the adage that family is supposed to give you unconditional love. I found that that was just another life lesson, nice to believe in, but not always true. Like most people I have placed my trust and love in people who I thought were my very best friends and have been disappointed. However now and then I did find a pearl of a friend, and so will you. I was once told by a teacher that you should be able to count the number of true friends you have on the fingers one one hand. I have discovered that to be very true. The only person you will ever completely know is yourself. TRUST IN YOUR OWN GOOD HEART. Good luck with the counselling , stay in touch, and take care. TERI
Teri, Thank you for your support it is very appreciated. To answer your question though, I have a brother (23) who I haven't seen or heard form in about 4 years. He runs away from his problems he is very "thick headed". I'm sure he was notified of these past events and i'm sure he is hurting as well. I have not recieved a phone call or anything from him. He didn't bother showing up at their funeral either. It is very typical of him, he is afraid to show his feelings, he's been like that since i can remember. As for my friends, they have been like family to me and been there all the way. you were right, I can only count my good friends on 1 hand, unfortunally it sometimes takes a tragic experience to know who your real friends are. Anyways, thank you again! Chris aka csreech
I would say be patient with your brother. It will be hard to do so. There will come the time in his life when he figures out what is important. When it arrives he will contact you. Prehaps it will be a feeling out to see if he is still welcome. Always give him welcome and one day he will return to you as his family, God willing. My heart is with you. Just take it a day at a time. It will look better and better.
My old man got my mum pregnant then went and married some one else, after throwing my mum down the stairs, then after ten years he came back and married her, that started the end of my life, he tried to teach me to fight, at the age of ten, he told me if i came home with a black eye then he would blacken the other one, he would go out on friday nights come home drunk and guess who was the punch bag,same on a saturday.but this time i was always in bed, he tried to find anything to hit me for,this went on till i was eighteen,by this time i had been taught,martial art, by a master wan, and he did not pick on me again,he has never told me he loves me and he has never said he was proud of me, beat that for a role model. he speaks to me a little now but only if we meet in the street he has nothing to do with my children,but he always sees my sisters kids, not much of a father or grand father is he.
Hi Blastoff, The fact that you recognise that your father was not a 'role model' comes across loud and clear. The important thing is that you can see his mistakes - the word 'mistakes' is pretty ordinary, but only you know his true character and can make the judgment - and I hope your kids will never experience the same things. You can't pick your relatives. Sadly, some kids grow up and act exactly the same as their fathers before them. I often wonder how that can happen when they know first hand what it feels like. If you've broken the cycle of abuse, then I hope you have a long, loving and happy life. Cheers. Teri
Thanks Teri2 Yes i have broke the cycle my children live in happyness and a very loving family life, i try to givr them what they want,but imy wify and i dont spoil them, they know the value of things and life, and i would never grow up to be my father,
