Fear of God, Fear of Witches

Discussion in 'Religion Archives' started by SkyeBlue, Dec 22, 1999.

  1. Flash Registered Senior Member

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    No, they should not. I didn't say it was right. Sometimes it's just hard not to do.
    Especially if the chubby guy doesn't explain it in peace. Regardless, I'm not saying that it's right in either situation. Are you implying you never get angry, TS? Especially when you believe in something strongly and others mock you? Let me guess...you just do not voice it..right? Have a few strong drinks and wake up and it's all ok, huh?

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    P.S.
    In rethinking this ...why should I be angry at the chubby guy and his deer who believe they they can fly???? Just because I don't believe it..shouldn't make me angry.

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    [This message has been edited by Flash (edited December 26, 1999).]
     
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  3. 666 Registered Senior Member

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  5. Searcher Registered Senior Member

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    666,

    Thank you for the information! I went ahead and sent a request to the second site for a list of EMDR trained clinicians in my area. It sounds like it might be worth checking into, although I'm not certain I would be willing to remember and feel everything again - especially since I really only seem to be affected once a year, and only then for a few days. But it's good to know there's an alternative to what I already know doesn't work! Thanks again.



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  7. SkyeBlue Registered Senior Member

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    Hello everyone!!

    I just have gotten a chance to read all of this. My home PC is dying, apparently, and I can barely get the darn thing to boot up. I've been internet-free for almost 3 days!! AAAHHHH, medic, quick!! I need 3 cc's of html over here, stat!!

    Well, Searcher & True' have certainally ferreted out most of the answers and questions I probably would have asked...so I guess I don't have a whole lot to post here.

    Searcher, sorry to hear about your personal demon. Mine lives in the summertime, and I know what you mean. Maybe my newfound 'witchy' powers will help me banish mine, I should look into that. I'll certainally share with you if I find some relief!

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    True'- I believe I understand what you are saying, can you bear to have me repeat it back to you so I can make sure? What I'm hearing (reading) is that you are extremely picky about choosing a babysitter, and ANY major life change is a red flag. Is that right? So, by this I assume that if you had a good friend/close relative that had been a witch for years, and you knew about that, AND they were otherwise up to your standards, you wouldn't let the fact that they are a witch to stand in the way? That was really the gist of my original question - I agree that someone just blurting out they were a witch as you're about to drop off the kidnicks would be a bit much to deal with, especially in light of the popular misconceptions and untruths about witchcraft floating about. (Not that I'm saying you suffer from these misconceptions, just that they unfortunately DO exist.) Someone popping off with a very personal and easily misconstrued statement like that is unlikely in a balanced person, and would probably raise a red flag for me as well. I guess I didn't post that question very well, but I guess you guys got the gist of it despite my sloppiness.

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  8. Searcher Registered Senior Member

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    Welcome back, SkyeBlue!

    It's great to have you back in the land of the connected! I hope you can solve your problems with your home PC soon. I would be having some serious withdrawals if that happened to me (especially since I don't have access to the internet at work)!

    I'm sorry to hear about your summertime demons. Perhaps we could get together and have a demon-banishing party, like in Practical Magic?

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  9. SkyeBlue Registered Senior Member

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    Searcher -

    Thanks, the jitters are starting to fade...

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    Y'know, I've never actually seen that movie. I'm not much of a movie-watcher, and my hubby can't stand Sandra Bullock. Is it any good?
     
  10. truestory Registered Senior Member

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    Flash,

    Of course their are times when I get angry. But they are few and far between. Someone mocking me is not one of those times. In those cases, I usually point out the fact that it is not appropriate, but why get angry?

    If you're interested, here are some real life examples of times when I have gotten angry:

    I got angry a few times as a teenager when people tried to force themselves physically onto me. My anger drove them away.

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    I got angry when the devil himself visited me one morning... I raged and drove him away.

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    I got angry when a drunk stranger followed my daughter home one night, into our driveway.. he believed that she cut him off on the highway and he went after her physically in an attempt to strangle her... Again, I raged and drove him away.

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    I also get frustrated when I find that someone has been deceitful with me.

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    But, since it happens so often, I have learned to get over this fairly quickly and move on.

    If I were to get angry at those who disagreed with me or mocked me, well, I guess you could say that I would live in an almost constant state of anger.

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    Personally, I don't want to live my life like that. I am a happy, peaceful person and I love people.

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    Anger has a tendency to drive people away.

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    PS... A few strong drinks??? I thought alcohol was a depressant? If I were angry, I wouldn't want to end up being angry AND depressed. The chubby guy just doesn't believe he can fly, the penguins actually saw him flying. He explained it was due to physical differences. Should the penquins be angry??? If so, who/what should they be angry at/about???

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    [This message has been edited by truestory (edited December 27, 1999).]
     
  11. SkyeBlue Registered Senior Member

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    LOL, True' - I like your gallery of smilies in that last post. These new animated ones are so cool!
     
  12. truestory Registered Senior Member

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    Hello Skye,

    Hope your holidays were merrry!

    Yeah, that's about the gist of it!

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  13. Searcher Registered Senior Member

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    SkyeBlue,

    I enjoyed it, although it was maybe just a tad bit silly towards the end. I know what you mean about not being able to watch a movie with your hubby when there's an actor/actress he doesn't like in the movie. I can't watch anything with Robin Williams for the same reason (unless I make sure he's not around!).

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  14. SkyeBlue Registered Senior Member

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    I love Robin Williams - have you seen his new movie yet? I haven't, but I want to. I think the last movie I saw in the theater was Matrix, before that it was almost 2 years since my last visit.

    Sorry, off topic, won't do it again. ('least, not in this thread

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    )

    I can't say I really 'get' the reindeer/santa/penguin analogy. Maybe I didn't read it carefully enough, but it didn't make sense to me. (shrug)

    [This message has been edited by SkyeBlue (edited December 27, 1999).]
     
  15. Searcher Registered Senior Member

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    SkyeBlue,

    At least I'm not alone in not understanding that analogy and how it relates to this thread (although I thought I detected a glimmer of relevance to that thread where we were discussing our differences of opinion regarding men being the head of household...)!

    Yes, I love Robin Williams, too! And no, I haven't seen his latest movie, but would like to. I think the last movie I saw at a theater was The Sixth Sense - a GREAT movie, by the way! Loved The Matrix, too! (You're not the only one who strays off-topic, here!

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  16. truestory Registered Senior Member

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    Searcher and Skye,

    Yes, the analogy was off-topic and in follow-up to something Flash said about the statements of others provoking anger and lashing out at individuals... 'Twas just a continuation of that aside, in an attempt to explore the true sources of such anger... No biggy.

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  17. Flash Registered Senior Member

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    TS,
    I think you are missing what I am trying to say.
    Well, most people drink to relax and take the edge off things..puts them in a better mood.

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    I think that it is good that you are able to get a handle on your anger like you do.
     
  18. truestory Registered Senior Member

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    Flash,

    Maybe I am missing your point, maybe I am not...

    First, so that you know... for some reason, I was born with a sense of "serenity" (as it is known in the prayer) with the ability to accept things which I cannot change, courage to change those which I can, and a sort of "wisdom" to know the difference... Even when I was very young, when life would get rough due to situations which were beyond my control, when most would have a "woe is me" attitude, I had a tendency to accept such things and move on... My mother used to say, "Doesn't ANYTHING bother you?"

    As you might have read previously, I come from a large family. Being diverse individuals, I have lived with some people who were very angry over life situations which were beyond their control. Being angry people in general, their anger would cause them to lash out, and because we lived in close proximity, I would sometimes be the target of their anger.

    There were times when the angry ones would turn to drinking, too. Yeah, sure, for a little while they would be giddy and perhaps even think that they were happy in their intoxicated states. But, in the long-run, as I mentioned previously, they really just ended up feeling angry AND depressed. Then, things would get worse.

    I admit, there was a time in my life when I would lash back in self-defense, and believe me, things would get "ugly". I knew in my heart that they were not really angry with me, but, some of the "lashing" was tough to take. However, I soon learned that as long as I responded to their anger which they perceived to be "about me", they never really confronted or came to terms with what it was that was really bothering them.

    So, there came a time in my life when I decided that I would no longer participate in what I called "the ugliness"... Yes, it was very difficult to refrain from participating at first, but, the more I held onto the understanding that it was not about me, but rather, about "situations" and "differences" beyond anyone's control, the easier it got for me not to participate... My walking away from "the ugliness," and being consistent in pointing out that the ugliness was not emotionally healthy or appropriate, eventually caused them to turn, face and deal with what it was that was "really" bothering them.

    To make a long story at least a "little bit" shorter... I belong to a VERY peaceful family now... Thank God!

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    [This message has been edited by truestory (edited December 27, 1999).]
     
  19. Flash Registered Senior Member

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    TS,
    Well, I see what you are saying here..but..well, don't you think that situations differ? How was it that they came to terms with whatever was bothering them?

    Wait... don't you think self-defense is a good thing? You just can't let people walk all over you.

    Well, I think that depends on the indivdual. Some can drink without it making them angry or depressed...just put them in a relaxed state. I'm not saying every dog can't have their day... but...

    I'm glad for you, TS. Makes holidays easier, huh?

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  20. SkyeBlue Registered Senior Member

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    True' -

    I know what you mean about your family. Mine is quite small, but there's a lot of anger and unresolved issues there. My parents are not stable people, don't get me wrong, I love them both dearly. I think they're GOOD people, but they're not stable, not at all. I grew up and moved out as soon as I was financially able, which helped me gain the perspective I needed to accept them for who they are, and not try to change them anymore - I can offer support when THEY decide to change, but I can't MAKE them change, even for their own good.

    While I lived with them I would get tangled up in their anger, whether they'd take it out on me, or on my sister (who I felt duty-bound to protect, so it came down on me), or I'd get sick of the screaming and fighting and jump into it myself.

    Even now, I live a good 2 hours away (on purpose, I still require a good amount of space between us), and when they get into a 'bad one' they will call me up and ask me to settle the fight!! They do this because I now have the perspective and "wisdom" to see what the REAL issue is, and I can usually talk them down, get them to talk about the real problem at hand. They both tend to lose control when they get angry, I can't count the smashed windows, ruined doorframes, holes in the walls, broken pottery...unfortunately there's also a lot of bruises, split lips, black eyes and so forth to count. (One reason I ABSOLUTELY will not tolerate violence around me nowadays) Don't think it was pops beating up mom all the time, either, it was both of them, punching, screaming and acting like 4 year olds squabbling over whose turn it is in the sandbox.

    Anyway, I am almost in a way grateful for all the strife I endured as a kid. It gives me great perspective now, a kind of wisdom I would not otherwise have gained. I have learned that there really are things way too important to fight about. Some things are so serious they must be discussed, immediately, calmly and thouroughly. I am proud to say that in our 7 years together, my husband and I have gotten to the "screaming" point twice. Both times were my fault, and I made sure to ground myself, and apologize for it. It's inexcusable, in my book, to treat someone like that. Lucky for me my husband is very calm, it takes a heck of a lot to get him to yell. Well, traffic makes him yell pretty easily, but other than that he's calm.

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    Sorry, this isn't really pertinent to the thread overall, but Truestory reminded me of all this... I still have a lot of things I need to clear out of the air with my parents, my mom in particular. She's very hard to talk to, she feels attacked if I try to discuss this and gets angry and defensive and violent. Sigh. My dad and I have talked through just about everything, he's trying to get better. I mentioned he's trying to quit drinking, it's been a rough battle for him so far, but he is trying. That's all I can ask for, I wish my mom would try as hard to kick her 'demon'. Sigh, sigh, sigh.

    One thing I can say about alchohol - I've been around that stuff my whole life. It will ACCENTUATE the emotions, not change them. If you're sad and you drink, it makes you sadder. If you're cheerful and you drink, you turn into one of those "I love you man!" people.

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    Alchohol in and of itself is not a bad thing, but people tend to abuse it. Moderation in all things, that's my philosophy.
     
  21. truestory Registered Senior Member

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    Actually, Flash, living peacefully makes LIFE easier (not just the holidays)!

    In case you haven't noticed, in no way do I allow people to walk all over me. I do have a tendency to address certain behaviors directed at me immediately in a calm and rational manner.

    I can tell you from first hand experience, though, that once an angry person realizes that you will not allow them to make you the brunt of their anger (by your not participating in their yelling and screaming matches, for example, or by your not allowing yelling and screaming matches in your home) they have a tendency to look to themselves for what is making them so angry and, eventually, they come to terms with it, deal with it, and become more at peace with themselves.

    Peace is contagious, I tell ya!

    Take Skye's real-life example (hope you don't mind, Skye). If one of her parents were to one day decide not to "participate" in the ugliness and set boundaries for behavior in the home and really stuck with it, the other would soon see their own behavior as "ugly" in comparison and would most likely look inward to change that image.

    Skye,

    I have to agree with you about moderation being one of the keys to living! That's been one of my mottos, too! (There are some things, such as physical and emotional abuse to name a couple, for which I have zero tolerance, though).

    Peace be with all of us!

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  22. Flash Registered Senior Member

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    Interesting, TS.
    Thanks for the reply

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  23. SkyeBlue Registered Senior Member

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    Damn, I had a whole big long reply all typed out last night and my computer died on me. Sheesh.

    True' - No, I don't mind you using my example at all. You said exactly what I have been trying to get my parents to understand for years now. They try, but not whole-heartedly. It's much easier to launch an attack than it is to accept that you might have been wrong.

    But, like I said, it turns out this may have been some kind of blessing in disguise. By watching my parents, I learned now NOT to do a lot of things. My relationship is much more peaceful, partially because I try very hard to keep that lesson in mind whenever hubby and I are having a conflict. When I am wrong, I swallow my stupid pride and admit it. I apologize, sincerely, and try not to do it again. I slip, and yell, and have to apologize again. I don't think I've ever heard my parents aplogize to eachother. I've heard "I'm sorry I yelled at you, but YOU ...blah, blah, blah" To me an apology doesn't start with "I'm sorry" and end with "but it's your fault". My apologies start with "I'm sorry" and end with "I'll try to be more understanding next time", or whatever is appropriate. And I mean it, or I don't say it.

    Anyway, I'm rambling. Inner peace does go a long way to calming others, but it's not always effective. I have a little comment/caution about your statement though, you said "If one of her parents were to one day decide not to "participate" in the ugliness and set boundaries for behavior in the home and really stuck with it, the other would soon see their own behavior as "ugly" in comparison and would most likely look inward to change that image." - my only comment/caution is that sometimes people don't look inward, instead they decide to resort to violence. An abusive person is likely to turn to a new form of abuse when the old one stops working. Be careful turning the other cheek, it might get punched in on you. This I know from personal experience!! But otherwise, very sound advice.

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