For the UFO nut who has everything..

". . . And other negative reviews tend to point out that, even if the UFO detector works, it doesn't prevent aliens from doing their, ahem, 'dirty work' of probing sensitive areas of the human anatomy."

No surprise. Many carbon monoxide detectors are inadequate for mobile homes, too. Gomez and Morticia would be envious. When CO poisoning isn't available for park residents, they can still be lofted to Lagrange Point One for xeno-colonoscopic encounters.
Amazon is selling a UFO detector. No joke! Hey, whatever makes a buck..

lol That's nothing. There's a place that sells dog tags for you with our star system on it so if the aliens forget where they abducted you they will be able to bring you home! I'd post a link, but it wont let me.