Getting Laid.

Discussion in 'Free Thoughts' started by Teetotaler, Jun 17, 2006.

  1. Teetotaler Registered Senior Member

    Messages:
    350
    Hello Guys,

    I am a 6'2" 135 pound man. You are probably already imagining me as a living skeleton, but that is not the case. My structure is more effeminate and masculine rolled into one.

    Now, I would like to know how I can increase my chances of getting laid. All that I do right now is go to school (currently taking my last two classes for my accounting degree), watch TV (usually anime and cartoons), and play video games.

    What steps should I take to meet a female? Where should I go?

    I am so horny that I can barely pay attention to anything (even masturbation). Just kidding. But, I do want to get laid. Suggestions?
     
    Last edited: Jun 18, 2006
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  3. makeshift Registered Senior Member

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    Eat 6 lbs of lard every morning for breakfast.

    Befriend ugly/fat chicks with low self-esteem.
     
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  5. Teetotaler Registered Senior Member

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    I thought of this. Where can I find these "ugly and/or fat chicks"?
     
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  7. Absane Rocket Surgeon Valued Senior Member

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    8,989
    I can say right off the bat you got nothing to make yourself stand out as a dominate male. To top it off, it seems like there is nothing much you can talk about other than anime, the latest RPG, and how to balance a check book.

    I suggest you frequent bars and build your confidence. Get into trouble a few times.
     
  8. Teetotaler Registered Senior Member

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    350
    I am not into RPG's! I am into FPS.
     
  9. Teetotaler Registered Senior Member

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    350
    I have been thinking about getting a gun.
     
  10. Absane Rocket Surgeon Valued Senior Member

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    8,989
    Do you play CS or Quake 3 CPMA mod? I want to play you!
     
  11. Teetotaler Registered Senior Member

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    350
    Nope. I am an XBOX man. Break out Halo or Ghost Recon: Advance Warighter.
     
  12. Absane Rocket Surgeon Valued Senior Member

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    8,989
    Oh never mind. Console gaming is overrated.. except when you play Halo 1 with 16 people

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  13. Teetotaler Registered Senior Member

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    On a LAN or over GameSpy?
     
  14. Absane Rocket Surgeon Valued Senior Member

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    8,989
    Lan. I forgot the program, but there is/was a program out for Xbox (the first one) that would let you play Halo 1 online.. all you needed was a computer, some ethernet cables, and a router.

    Back in the dorms 2 or 3 years ago, we would run 100 feet of ethernet cable across the halls or out the windows down several floors to play people.
     
  15. Teetotaler Registered Senior Member

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    350
    It was XBOX Connect. I played on there a few times.
     
  16. Absane Rocket Surgeon Valued Senior Member

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    8,989
    Do you live near a metro city? If so, go drive around there friday nights... you will find random parties where random people show up. I done it a few times.. get drunk and have no regrets

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  17. Dr Hannibal Lecter Gentleman and Cannibal. Registered Senior Member

    Messages:
    100
    Rob a bank, then turn yourself in to the authorities. It would guarantee you several years of getting laid daily.
     
  18. Fraggle Rocker Staff Member

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    24,690
    Life is very challenging at your age, to the point of coming across as downright perverse and unfair. It is a nearly universal experience that the more you focus your thoughts and energies on getting sex, the more you decrease your chances of actually getting any.

    Women in general are turned off by men who appear to be desperately, compulsively horny. This is hard for us to understand because we think women like that are wonderful, but they don't feel that way about us at all. You've heard about all those Venus/Mars things... well this is definitely one of them.

    This doesn't mean they don't like men who are aggressive and sexual. But there is a big difference between those men, who exude a confident air and give the impression that they get laid at least once every night because other women find them exciting, and men who exude a pathetic air and give the impression that they only get it on their birthday from a sympathetic female buddy who takes pity on them after getting good and drunk.

    That said... Yes, you should certainly be hanging out with women who aren't supremely confident social leaders. How do you find them? This is where being smart is handy. Are those women going to be in bars? At parties? Hanging out with the crowds after a football game? Probably not. They're more likely to be less social and spend a lot of time alone or with a couple of friends. You'll mostly run into them only in the places everybody has to go.

    I guess you're in school, so that means you'll run into them at school. This isn't so bad, school is a great place to find women with whom you have something in common, and who therefore will be amenable to conversation with you. There are women who are avid videogamers, who spend a lot of time in the library, who do arts and crafts, who work with animals. Do you like any of that stuff? If not, what exactly do you like? You have to have something in your personality if you want to attract a woman, something that makes you an individual, something you have information and opinions about.

    Getting involved in a hobby or a craft, taking a class, or joining a group that does something a little unconventional... these are all good ways to meet the girls who aren't in bars and at parties.

    I don't know how old you are. Back in the 1950s most people didn't have their first sexual experience until they were 18-20, and many of them waited a good deal longer than that. So it is possible to live without sex and not explode or become a psychopath.

    That's more uncommon today, but still there's a bell curve and an awful lot of people are out there at the ends of the curve.

    What to do while you're waiting? Many men just pay prostitutes. Personally I don't recommend it but I can't very well ignore the fact that a lot of people don't agree with me. Nonetheless, there are two serious problems with it.

    The most obvious is that unless you live in a civilized country like Holland (or the state of Nevada) where prostitution is legal and prostitutes get top-notch medical care, the chances are very high that you'll catch something. You'll be lucky if it's good old fashioned syphillis or gonorrhea, because they can knock those out easily with old fashioned antibiotics. It could be herpes, which is incurable and will be a nasty souvenir you'll carry around for the rest of your life. And I shouldn't have to tell you what the worst case is. Condoms work very well, but only in a statistical context as a public health measure. The chance of one individual condom not preventing disease is something like one in five hundred, which is pretty scary odds with today's diseases.

    The other is that sex with a prostitute isn't going to be what you're expecting. Unless you can afford one of the thousand-dollar call girls who is essentially a professional actress specializing in a unique role, there will be no connection, no chemistry, no magic. She'll try her best not to act totally bored, you'll get your rocks off, she'll jump up instantly and wash it all away in an attempt to stay clean and healthy, then she will say thanks and go wait for the next guy. If you're dying of horniness I know that doesn't sound so bad. But its ability to satisfy you so it takes your mind off of sex for a few days is very limited, you'll probably be in the same mood again tomorrow.

    Practice being patient, practice not looking like you're desperate for sex, use your IQ to increase your chance of coming in contact with a girl who might be interested in you, and then use your patience again to let it happen naturally instead of hoping she sleeps with you after your first date.

    Good luck.
     
  19. Railburn Guest

    ^^ Thats good writing above me.. Cept a lot of people wont waste their time with hobby groups or anything of that sort. And he wants to get laid, not go hunting.. Although hunting is extremly fun. It is all about confidence, if you could go to a party and just lay back, not act interested and let the girls come to you.. Assuming you look a little bit attractive, you gotta do some hunting, but for the most part be confident and be cool.. If you cant chill out normally and not act so desperate, then I suggest drink just enough to calm down and not act stupid. Or a very good way would be weed, assuming you don't freak out with it..
    I dunno, it works pretty well I think; but people are different, so I just thought I would throw this out there.
    Have fun.
     
  20. cato less hate, more science Registered Senior Member

    Messages:
    2,959
    night clubs are like booty grocery stores. you have to spend a little time and money (on drinks) but there is no greater concentration of sexually available women. if all you want to do is get laid, its perfect.
     
  21. draqon Banned Banned

    Messages:
    35,006
    If you want to get laid. Buy a coffin, lay down inside, and accept to be burried inside the Earth.
     
  22. lixluke Refined Reinvention Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    9,072
    Yes!
    Finally a thread for one of my favorite areas of discussion.


    ????
    WTF


    ????
    WTF. . . . ????


    WTF!!!!????


    #1
    Fat ugly chicks? Is this some sort of demented fetish? Please tell me you are joking, and wish to find hot chicks.

    #2
    How in the hell is a gun going to help you get laid? Do you plan on capping girls into bed with you?
    Please tell me you will be using it to shoot prostitutes that dare charge humans for sex.

    So on to the most important thing:
    Date Money.

    There is no way I can help you in this. You either have it or you don’t. Hopefully you can get it.
    Basically, the more date money you have, the far more easier it is to get laid by girls.
    Getting laid by girls, and having no date money is like sticking a camel in your needle.




    Other than that:
    #1 Always look immaculate.

    Women will take notice of the slightest stain on your clothes. Keep your body squeaky clean. Pretend for a minute that you are James Zorro Don Juan Denzel Fabio Bond. Then walk into a room, and fight women off of you with a stick. Use a good fragrance. You don’t need to be all dark and formal like Zorro or Bond. Just make sure whatever is you are wearing, it is spotless, and matching, and fitting to your elegant manliness. Haircut should always be fresh. Face should be clear as can be. Shaved well. If you plan to use facial hair, don’t. If you really must, make sure it is well groomed.


    #2 Always walk out of the door with a great attitude.
    As soon as you leave the comfort of your home, you have an aura of bright enthusiasm. When you walk into a room, you greet everybody you know. You introduce yourself to everybody you think you might think could boost your reputation. Even those who might not. Carrying yourself like a celebrity is good.

    Smile. Look at people in the eyes. Don’t even talk to them. Talk to their bloody eyes. Be aware of how you move and how you talk. Glide like a vampire. Talk in a smooth calm voice, and express enthusiasm. No garbled mumbling or nasally voice. I personally have seen pornstars talk to girls in nasally voice, and still get girls. But I highly recommend against it. It is repulsive.

    Talk to people about anything. Talk about video games at any girl whether she is interested in it or not. It is a gaddam interesting subject no matter how hot she is, so she had better get with the program.

    (Warning: unfortunately, we live in a stigmatic society. Talking about things such as video could make you come off as wack. Simply because people are sheep, and if they are supposed to consider somebody that plays video games wack, they will consider you wack for playing video games. Which brings us to #3.)


    #3 Avoid wackness at all cost.
    Wackness is the opposite of coolness. It is not difficult to figure out what the zombified masses consider to be wack no matter how cool it really might be. Better to keep something to yourself if it could be potentially be considered wack. Take every opportunity for coolness. This could be risky because if executed incorrectly, you will come off wack. Be yourself no matter what. You can never come off wack despite the stigmas if you be yourself. Hence, try not to care too much about what girls think, and talk about video games as if they were the coolest thing on earth which they pretty much are.

    Don’t say anything stupid or arrogant. Make sure you are wholesome, and will not do anything weird and dramatic. Do not say anything that will weird them out. This a guaranteed ticket to wackness. Act mature. Which brings us to #4.

    Respect your reputation. Make sure everybody respects you as that really cool tall guy that comes in and talks to all these girls.


    #4 Talking tips.
    Talk to girls backwards. Don’t talk to them face to face. This eliminates eye contact, but for some reason it might be helpful. Next time you go up to a girl, do a 180 so she is behind you, and talk to her over your shoulder. I think it makes you look busy as if you have a full life, and zesty lookouts.

    Make them laugh. This is important for gaining their trust, but you have to do it in a way that won’t make you come across as a weirdo, and therefore wack.

    Avoid talking about what interests them. After long socializing, and contemplation, Cool Skill discovered something that has never been known by any other scientist on the planet:
    Girls are never interested in anything cool or interesting. Never take them seriously.

    At all costs, avoid talking about yourself in a way as if you are tying to inform her of your good qualities. This should be avoided like the plague. Also at all costs, put her on the spot so that she is justifying herself to you. Therefore, she is telling you all these good qualities about herself as if she is trying to prove herself to you. Do not do it to her, but encourage her to do it to you.


    #5 Come to think of it, I’m not sure if most of these are tips regarding how to get laid rather than how to be like Cool Skill.
    Either way, being like Cool Skill will get you lots of fun experiences with women.
    Being Cool Skill to me is even better than getting laid.
    Remember that you should genuinely be happy with being yourself.
    As you can see from this current section alone, I am extremely happy with myself and who I am. There are a few things I don’t like about myself, but other than these minor imperfection flaws, I love myself to death.
    So I would say, the #5 tip is really to try to think of yourself in your coolest ideal form, behave that way in reality, and have lots of self esteem in regarding yourself as utterly amazing.
    Just like I regard myself as utterly unfathomably amazing.


    #6 But nothing, not even that compares to the all important:
    Having date money.

    Girls want you to pay for every bleeding thing. If you want to be a pimp, you might use tactics to get her to pay for you. I’m not much of a pimp as it does not get you much respect in the long run.
    Either way, it doesn’t matter how great or amazing you are. Without date money, your odds decrease dramatically. With lots of date money, you could be as wack as you want to be.


    #7 Never take your mind off of the objective. This type of laser focus is so all fabric of the universe behemothly important. Screw details, and everything else. The objective is what your mind should be on. Objective objective objective.

    What is the objective?
    To sleep with lots of women?
    Not exactly.

    To be the type of guy that attracts really hot girls. In order to do this, you must be the type of guy girls gossip about. When girls gossip, more girls want in on you. This is the objective.

    To have the respect of your peers, and love and admiration from all these girls that have a crush on you, and love you kiss kiss kiss, and want to be with you for ever kiss kiss kiss.

    The other objective might also be to have date money.
     
    Last edited: Jun 18, 2006
  23. leopold Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    17,455
    i'll have to agree with fraggle rocker
    women seem to go for the intelligent, confident type.
     

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