Girls of Sciforums, Please Enlighten Me

oh, and Xev... apparently it's not some peoples' dream to have adventure or anything that's not bland. I think that their dreams were just crushed by either television or other adults that had _their_ dreams crushed. Friend of mine's dream is to keep his job at a software firm and move to suburbs in the most bland city on the planet.

 

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Truthseeker:

There is a difference between being honest and caring and being a sycophantic little tweak. In fact, if you were truly being honest with yourself you'd realize that you are not simply seeking a partner 'to share experiences' with.

The quality you are looking for, the quality that the jerk possesses that the retiring little whiner does not is self-confidence. It's not that women prefer assholes. It's that at your stage of the game just about the only men with self-confidence also happen to be assholes. Women can smell desperation from about a million miles away and they don't typically find it appealing (exceptions noted, Xev

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).

The reason you are getting 'burned' is because you are putting far too much emotion into what should be a fairly superficial exchange (a first date scenario). All you really should be asking is if she'd like to get to know you better. It's also typically a mistake to ask out someone with whom you are already friends with, if there was a potential for something more she would have let you know already.

~Raithere

 

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There probably are dude, that is, until ya tell em the "four kids" plan...

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Truthseeker...skip ahead and go straight to Raithere's and scramble's advice...that is all you really need to know.

 

Just a thought.

If you have so many good friends who are female, rather than risk destroying that friendship by asking them out (which you say has been the result 100% of the time), instead get them to set you up on a date. Girls love to do that.

You wont get the girl you are already friends with, but she will be the judge of who she can find for you. At least it's a start, without burning your bridges.

 

Oh my... you guys are really immature...

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Anyways...

What do you mean? Whatelse can I be looking for?

I have self-confidence. My problem is not lack of self-confidence, my problem is lack of understanding. As far as I know, if I find a girl pretty and I tell that to her, she can either feel umcomfortable or like it. I just wonder how the hell can I tell when she will feel umcomfortable or when she will like it... :bugeye: That's the whole point of the first two questions...

Which weren't answered yet...

You mean I should be trying to get into a relationship just for fun. Yes, that's what I'm trying to do. And you could have read that in one of my posts somewhere in this thread...

As for the friends scenerio, there have been some friends that never told me that they liked me. Then, in the last day, they tell me that they were in love with me, and I haven't a clue. Then they say goodbye, saying that they have to go back to their countries...

It happened with French girls and one Japonese... How lucky I am...

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Huumm... I don't understand you. Those are quite contradictive to your whole dissertation...

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That's a pretty good advice...

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I have a couple of friends that I was planning to do that. One is a brasilian that is doing nursing. There are lots of girls doing nursing... I could ask her to present me some of her friends...

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Another is from my church. She recently invited me to hang out with her friends...

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In fact, lately, I have had some ideas about how to get around those problems. I still don't know well enough how I can express myself in a more transparent way tough... :/

Oh well...

 

The problem with asking out a chick you're already friends with is there is no mystery left for them, the boundaries have already been established. You've already told them all your plans and what you're about, but at least if you have lots of female friends then you know you're not coming across as an asshole. Female friends are valueable for a million reasons. Consider yourself lucky to have so many. Some guys cant even talk to chicks full stop! Chicks dont just judge you by you, they also judge you by how good looking the other chicks (if any) are that hang out with you! Sad but true.

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Silverbacks advice is good too. Ask one of your female friends whom you would like to have a relationship with to set you up with one of her friends. She'll either think "why her, why not me?" and make a move on you to prove to herself she is more attractive than her friend, or if she really isn't interested in being more than friends then she will enjoy matchmaking for you. Trust me.

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The only problem is she'll probably only set you up with someone she finds less attractive than herself, just in case she wants to change her mind in the future! Chicks can do a 180 attitude flip on a hairpin if ya know the right buttons...

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If nothing else just save up some money and hit these sites.
http://www.chanceforlove.com/main.php
http://www.russian-brides-club.com/
http://www.meetrussianbrides.com/index.php
http://www.mydatingsites.com/russian-bride.asp

 

Then I tell you a very known cliched saying...
"I don't know you well enough to go out with you"...

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Sounds complex...

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TruthSeeker........
They know you don't have any money yet or they would be all over you.

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True...but what they say makes sense, a lot more than what I say...I am just cynical, world doesn't need more of my kind.

 

If you're gettin that response quite often then perhaps you should work on your appearance and first impressions,or perhaps lower your standards a little... and don't give me "I'm not so shallow". Get off ya fat ass and go for a jog, it makes a difference to ALL chicks.

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Well... you are not that bad... You are even honest...

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I don't know if you understood, but I said 'I don't know you well enough to go out with you'. Sorry about the mispelling...

Huuuuh...

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HAHAHAHA....!

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I'm not fat... definetely not!

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Anyways... I have been called cute you know...?

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It is kinda contradicting... They like me, they like how I look like, but most of them only want friendship... :bugeye:
Girls don't make any sense...

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Like guys ever do

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Whoever said you can't ask out girls that are your friends, don't listen to that! NOOOOOOOOOOO! My entire strategy.... NOOOOOOO!
Girls at your age want nice guys, not assholes; they've been with plenty of assholes, it's nothing new or exciting or pleasant. Girls do want family and kids with nice boys but not this early.... So I suggest you widen your circles of friends who are girls and who can introduce you to girls and wait till something happens.
Edit: you're the one who initiates the happening, so pick the right timing. Comes with practice. Pick a female to be your best friend and guide you.

 

I think I have more than enough to have pretty high standarts...

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I think most of us are pretty simple...:
We want sex, and we wannit NOW!

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I think it is all girls strategy, actually...
But again, when I ask friends all that always said: "No, I just like you as a friend" or something like that.

Yeah... I know someone that can help me... But I just want to have fun now anyways...

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Why? Why we have to begin it? Why girls can't take the first step? I never understood that... :bugeye:
You girls always have much easier jobs than we do... besides getting pregnant, of course...