How to spot a bastard

Discussion in 'Free Thoughts' started by birch, Feb 18, 2016.

  1. sculptor Valued Senior Member

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    birch
    how tall are you?
     
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  3. Oystein Registered Senior Member

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    Yep. Typical troll behavior.

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  5. birch Valued Senior Member

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    This part does not make any sense to me. I did not write that scathing male bashing book. So stop playing cognitive dissonance that im speaking for other women. Or that im some martyr. How the hell does that compute? You must have me confused with women who stay in unhappy relationships.
     
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  7. ajanta Registered Senior Member

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    This is a corrupt world, so you found bad men but what about women(bad or good ?) ?? Do you think there are only good women in this corrupt world ?


    It is strange that in this corrupt world it seems, you know only women stories but not about bad women stories........And you know only about bad men but not good men. Assuming you have problem about Y but why ?


    No. I think you are f*****g kidding us.
     
    Last edited: Feb 20, 2016
  8. DaveC426913 Valued Senior Member

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    This is a telling statement.
     
  9. DaveC426913 Valued Senior Member

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    You started the thread with that article, and asked everyone for their opinion about its truth.

    If you don't want feedback on something, don't post it and then ask for feedback.

    I didn't say you're speaking for other women, I said you have shot your own opinion in the foot.

    Because you're blaming your hurt on someone else.
     
    Last edited: Feb 20, 2016
  10. sculptor Valued Senior Member

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    5'4"(1.6256meters)?
     
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  11. birch Valued Senior Member

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    There is erroneous belief i am hurt. I am not hurting at all but feeling relieved. Like a burden you threw off or having escaped a trap/snare. Im just musing on things somewhat cynical.
     
  12. birch Valued Senior Member

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    Of course idiot and ive already stated or alluded to that several times but im not obligated to create discourse or avenue on every topic just because another is too lazy or stupid to not know or in your case just to satisfy every person in the room as if im supposed to do homework to satisy everyone. Who the fuck do you think you are?

    If there is a topic you want to discuss, start one. Dont enter mine and demand a different topic.
     
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  13. birch Valued Senior Member

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    Nah, good or bad men or women is a completely different topic and which my personal opinion on that has nothing to do with gender.

    But fidelity issues, my experience is that there are more complaints by females than by males. It outweighs to be denied. The stories are much, much worse including frequency and culpability by males (not all males, ok? does that make you feel better but its more frequent in your gender), more serial form of cheating in males.

    But as i said BEFORE again, again, again, again, again and again was that trend seems to be changing YET they were still not satisfied unless someone will LIE that everything in life is EQUAL at all times including male vs female infidelity.

    Stupid.
     
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  14. Daecon Kiwi fruit Valued Senior Member

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    Yes, but considering that you apparently only go for bastards, your experience isn't really that objective, is it?
     
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  15. ajanta Registered Senior Member

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    [

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    How ?

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    Last edited: Feb 21, 2016
  16. DaveC426913 Valued Senior Member

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    This is wot I'm sayin'.
     
  17. birch Valued Senior Member

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    I can only go by experience. Have you noticed most people can get along with just about anyone publicly? Then we tend to be able to get along better platonicly? Have you noticed the closer you become to someone (especially as adults as they have more baggage or more vices) the more toxic it usually becomes? I think people need a natural, comfortable radius of personal space to not become co-dependent.

    There are some people who do have good, close romantic relationships where they are joined at the hip and occupying the same space but i would liken this to winning the relationship lottery. We dont see it that way because we can see there are some who always do and people win the lottery everyday so we assume that could be us just as easily. Well, it can but most likely not just statistically speaking and divorce rates also speak for themselves which doesnt even take into account those in unhappy relationships. So realistically, there are few who actually have lasting but happy relationships. Most relationships end for one reason or another. Of course, knowing yourself, understanding give/take, healthy relating skills and maturity is half the battle but doesnt guarantee you will meet the one but you will be ready when you do, luck also has to play its part.

    That still doesnt mean you cant have relationships, just that it may not be the 'til death do us part' variety. Or if it does endure, it will not be due to compatibility or happiness.
    Some people stay long past the expiration date and thats where it can get very toxic and damaging. That date can vary depending on each relationship, what you came together for to experience, do or learn.

    I do know some people in happy relationships but they are more the minority than those who arent. Also ive found there is nothing remarkable or unique or wiser about these people. They were just lucky or fortunate to have met the right one.

    In general, i would say its best to deal with others with a long-handled spoon and also keep your independence in most situations. This way, even if one is dating another, if they start to get annoying or rude you can tell them to leave or vice versa. The idea of having to put up with anothers bs has no merit or benefit.

    Furthermore, it has been drilled into us that it is romantic to have a close binding relationship where one is always on top of eachother, stepping over eachother or in eachothers way as if that is the end and be all. Only if you can stand eachother for long and so close.

    Just like one can have loving healthy friendships without living together, i think most relationships endure better with those parameters. Of course you should always be open to the chance you could also find your true match/mate you love to be around 24/7 and not just tolerate. Then the wedding bells can ring otherwise dont bother and be careful of your personal space or giving up autonomy for another.
     
    Last edited: Feb 22, 2016
  18. birch Valued Senior Member

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    How was i supposed to know they were bastards? Did ted bundy look like a bastard or did he seem like your average bloke?

    Besides, its very obvious that 'attraction' is necessary to have a romantic relationship which you cannot fake. You can fake physical attraction to another to some degree or to people with less than fine-tuned feelers but you cant fake it to yourself and you will not be fulfilled either.

    The flipside is one can have compatible values with another and love them - they are your friends but doesnt mean you want to lay next to them in bed either. To find both in one person is not so easy. I know that so just live the single life and have friendships. Im okay with that.

    Life would be so much easier if i was asexual or polyamorous but im not.

    Maybe one day when i have no physical needs, i can just be happy with someone i just love without traversing the minefield of physical intimacy and all the drama it entails.
     
    Last edited: Feb 22, 2016
  19. birch Valued Senior Member

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    I also know the difference between infatuation and real love.

    Real love does not end, even if the relationship does. If the relationship cannot be, the obstacles were external or some problem with one or both people but not because of loss of interest or abuse/mistreatment which is the case with most that fail. How can it be real love if the one who is supposed to care for you is the one lying, decieving, abusing and hurting you? Thats an enemy or a stranger at best, not your friend or true mate.

    People can want you or vice versa for all types of reasons which may have nothing to do with you personally at all. They can want you just to use you and call or believe its love. So when you see couples walking around, there is often more than meets the eye because not all are happy, some are outright fraud or abusive and also often you arent missing out. Be careful what you wish for. Maybe you are fortunate to be alone. There is a silver lining to almost every situation or apparent lack.

    Real love is rare just like true friends. I can honestly say i havent had any romantic relationship that was true or real love. But everyone defines love differently. Real love does not involve deceit or selfishness or compromising another. Real love is empathy, sympathy at all times even to the point of letting another go if you are not healthy for them for their own good, not just for yours at their expense. Its even more clear at the end. Even i know and can admit that and the truth always sets you free.
     
    Last edited: Feb 22, 2016
  20. Daecon Kiwi fruit Valued Senior Member

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    Well, that I can agree with.

    I've experienced true love.
     
  21. birch Valued Senior Member

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    Look at how i use profanity and am often unnecessarily blunt/rude though may technically be right. Even i dont approve of that. I dont even really approve that much of intimacy before marriage either. I dont approve of much of anything unethical but the environment i am in and the people i most often deal with, i have to be harsh or have to be as sly as them or i would get run over not because they are stronger just because they are more sly and versed/clever in unethical ways.

    I am not trying to give the impression that stereotyping genders, misogyny or male-bashing is good or cool. It isnt nor is thug life or rebellion. Or even that there is some merit in crassness as it isnt unless you absolutely have to utilize it to defend against certain kinds of people.

    I am just making the point, not in the most eloquent or mature fashion, that sincere honorable people tends to be more individual than based on social status but with concentrations of healthier lifestyles and wiser choices also due to greater intelligence in the middle class and above. More or less. The less being those who have the education and social status but may be dealing in ilicit activity such as drugs, alcohol and promiscuity (no morals) which are degrading to others and to self. Its either the religious right or the complete liberal faction. If you are not part of a religious organization and are moral, you are on your own in this society and very much a minority. There is a very large, mainstream and wide road that leads to destruction that society tries very hard to make the obscene, unhealthy, lurid, immature and trashy normalized and to goad people to join the path to empty value and devaluation by dropping or compromising ethics when it corrupts, taints and rots everything underneath. To toss or believe nothing is sacred. The most flagrantly obvious is sexual promiscuity which entails meaningless unions of infidelity to group sex. It is like devolution of the human spirit justified with the pretense that this is social progress when it results in confused or meaningless relations, breakdown of family and generally physically unhealthy as nature made its consequences known by disease.
     
  22. sculptor Valued Senior Member

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  23. StrangerInAStrangeLa SubQuantum Mechanic Valued Senior Member

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    On the 1st episode of The Big Valley, Heath tells Nick "I'm your father's bastard". In the sixties, that's the way it aired but more recently the word was bleeped.

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