How to spot a bastard

Discussion in 'Free Thoughts' started by birch, Feb 18, 2016.

  1. birch Valued Senior Member


    This is how daunting i view dating prospects. notice the different galaxies and then it pans out to different universes? what if my true love or someone i would really like or dig a lot exists in another galaxy? or my other half may be in another universe entirely so...very far away and unreachable. impossible odds. E.T. phone home.
    Last edited: May 15, 2017
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  3. Michael 345 Next for NT Anzac Day 2018 Valued Senior Member

    It might be a long shot but hang around with a few American mountain men who seem to be visited by aliens wanting to probe Earthlings

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  5. birch Valued Senior Member

    the thing that does shock me at times is that there are men who think that someone single is obligated in some way to anyone that shows interest in them. like just by virtue of being single and female means you have little rights as if being single means you should have no choices but be grateful for what you can get as if relationships are some kind of social obligation or something. like everyone is supposed to pair up and how dare you be picky about who. like you exist to just be a target only.

    what are relationships to these people? why do they think what they want is important but not what you want? what kind of relationship can you have then? sounds like a rapist in disguise to me because i'm sure they wouldn't like it if a female they are not interested pressured them but it's somehow okay to do that to a female? there is something very aggressive and creepy about men like this because they are convinced of this too. i don't understand where that reasoning comes from. can anyone explain? they are usually a generation or two older than me but some are also in my range.

    i have had men say things such as 'but you are not a top model' so implying who do i think i am turning them down. but the most obnoxious part of it is they are less attractive than me so it's not even fair anyways. i go ahead and put myself in their shoes mentally for a sec and realize i have never and would never think anyone is obligated to be interested in me based on my judgement/evaluation of who they are! that is like me seeing a guy i think is cute and then proceed to chitchat but when he doesn't respond the way i would like if i flirt, i proceed to argue with him with my own rationales of why i am entitled to his attention as well as his romantic affection since he is single and i deem him not that above me, so who does he think he is rejecting me!! NO FRIGGING WAY! that's is insane, rude, and disrespectful of their own rights.

    it is really sick that there are people who actually believe they are entitled to have someone, literally anyone they pick. even if you turn them down, they believe you committed some type of crime against society or god by not knowing your 'place'. that they deemed you a 'right' fit for them or their needs so that was your born obligation as a female. they also seem to think if you are single and if they know you may be somewhat 'looking' then that further obligates you as if they are doing you a favor but in reality they would be getting the better end of the stick and that is exactly why they were so interested anyways. as if their loneliness or wants somehow means another is supposed to meet them.

    it's so disgusting and weird. i had this guy tell me like a whiny child, 'but i'll be lonely!' when i told him i am not interested in visiting him or having his number. they just pick someone and demand it like it's an obligation. like hello? so? am i supposed to take care of that?

    you know, like friendships and romantic relationships are everyone's right like air, food and water. so therefore people are like air, food and water. they know better than to demand friendship because that is not real but have no problem demanding something even more intimate like romance even if it's one-way. but in this case it's pawns to them. WHY? because they are really perverts, sociopaths and users.

    that is a really, really ugly entitled frame of mind that is almost unbelievable. it's like the more they think they like you which is usually not for you but an aspect like surveying an object, the more they think they are entitled to you with no other reason. it's like seeing an item in a store but this object has a mind and can talk back and they are trying to make you an object or bypass who you are.

    women who produced men like this should have been sterilized.
    Last edited: Jun 9, 2017
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  7. Michael 345 Next for NT Anzac Day 2018 Valued Senior Member

    While that WOULD solve the problem

    it's unfair to women since it is men

    via the Y sperm who determine gender

    Every ova is X

    Sperm come in X version for female and

    Y version for men

    Sperm can be selected (with almost 100% accuracy) to produce children of the required gender

    Useful for gender related diseases

    Unfortunately male vasectomies also remove reproductive ability 100%

    What is required for the male system birth control is selective vasectomies which results in the male only producing sperm of the desired gender

    I don't think anybody is working on that version of the solution

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  8. Beer w/Straw Transcendental Ignorance! Valued Senior Member

    ugh If you can, change your environment, and or, affect it.

    I also assume you aren't looking for another in:

    And plans work better, if you actually plan them.

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  9. exchemist Valued Senior Member

    This discussion reminds me vividly of the pain of being young and searching for a mate. Now that I am old, all the women (or a lot of them) seem so beautiful and desirable, but I know their attractiveness to me is directly proportional to their unavailability and unsuitability for me. I then call to mind how ghastly the whole process could be of trying to find someone suitable, rejecting or being rejected: the politics, the brief ecstasy, the drawn-out misery of extracting oneself from a relationship that was never going to work and all that crap. When I remember this, I am fairly content that "dem days is over".

    I know it's nature and I wish you all luck. Don't settle for a dud.
  10. birch Valued Senior Member

    no, i don't do online dating. i wasn't looking even when i ran into these people i mentioned either. i am not looking for anyone period actually.

    yeah, but my contempt for humanity does grow a lot. what i did get a chance to witness is how i saw another woman hit on one of them and was was turned down and guess what happened? how dare they considering their line of reasoning. that woman evidently needed them, right? maybe she is lonely. maybe she is good enough for them or better. how dare they reject her, right? you see this line of bs reasoning? as if people are some objective commodity when relationships are personal and subjective.

    the men weren't harassed and she went on her way. she didn't demand a total stranger to be into her or kept on invasively like she had a right to them. you know, like normal decent people. that's the thing, these hypocritical narcissists don't connect the dots. don't do to others what you don't want done to you or treat others the way you would like to be treated. they don't live by the golden rule, they are just opportunists.
  11. Beer w/Straw Transcendental Ignorance! Valued Senior Member

    But you can still search the net for some outing vis-a-vis in your locality.

    Like ATHEISM done on campus or something.
  12. river

    Hmmm....some of us guys would like a female friend , a good friend , a best friend , a life friend .

    Its odd that this seems odd attitude nowadays .
  13. Counter Registered Senior Member

    Yes all men are b*stards.
  14. billvon Valued Senior Member

    And all women are b*tches.
    And all blacks are stupid and lazy.
    And all Muslims are violent terrorists.
    And all Republicans are greedy philandering hypocrites.
    Etc etc. Yep, we get that here a lot.
  15. karenmansker HSIRI Banned

    LMAO . . . did you intentionally forget Democrats?, Liberals?, Atheists, Theists? et al? ("etc") or are they just rolled into your "Etc"?
  16. DaveC426913 Valued Senior Member

    All generalizers are forgetful.
  17. sweetpea Registered Senior Member

    ...when in touch with their feminine side.

    As for what birchy is... His really a bloke who hates women, and gets off reading the men's posts bitching with his female sock puppet birch. What do ya mean, that says a lot about me?
  18. billvon Valued Senior Member

    Nope. Include whatever group you like. Democrats, conservatives, whites, Jews, LGBT people, angry female Internet posters - just as wrong no matter what group you target.
  19. Kristoffer Giant Hyrax Valued Senior Member

    All counters are crazy.
  20. iceaura Valued Senior Member

    Wait a minute - that isn't true of Republicans? Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence.
  21. Bells Staff Member

    I would say that both sexes do this, in that this is not solely a male phenomenon.

    The stories I could tell about my grandmother's dismay that my then 19 year old cousins were single and how she carried on when they accidentally let on they had a date... She did this with both male and female.. If any were single at 18 years of age, she would lament their never getting married, and when they eventually met someone they liked enough to ask out or go out with, she literally, and I mean literally, reminded them in front of their date if at a family function or something, about how grateful said cousin(s) should be that someone actually went out with them. The worst was when she told my male cousin that he was in no position to be picky (he was 20 and still studying and not interested in marriage or anything serious) because of his age and babbled something about reduced sexual function increasing with age in front of the poor girl he had started dating.. He looked like he wanted to die then and there and I don't think he ever really recovered from how she used to carry on, if his later relationships and failed marriage is anything to go by. Being very young at the time, I can laugh about it now, but I can still see the mortification on the faces of my hapless cousins caught out by it.

    Some people are pushy and others are not. If you don't like pushy people, ignore them and if they persist, then tell them to go away and if they do not, then speak to a bouncer/barkeep/waiter/etc and have them removed from the premises.
    You would need to ask them in regards to how they view relationships. Often, they are controlling and demanding. Sometimes not.

    So, you are literally applying that same standard that you are angry about them for. They say "but you are not a top model", thereby implying that you aren't in a position to be turning them down, but in the next sentence, you seem offended that they would expect you to lower your standards because they aren't attractive and it's obnoxious of them to ask you out, because you are more attractive than they are.

    In a way, they are saying 'how dare she turn me down, she's not even that attractive' while at the same time you are saying 'how obnoxious is that guy asking me out, because he's much less attractive than I am and he expects me to lower myself down to that?'.. Which is kind of the same thing, but only in reverse.

    But you are doing the same thing and applying the exact same, well, standard:
    Perhaps you should obsess less with looks and more with substance, such as their intelligence, humour, sense of self, personality?
    Pushy people and people who believe they are god's gift to men/women are a problem, but you seem to be switching between two different issues. One that deals with violence or threats of violence or harassment against women who turn men down, and 'ewww he asked me out? But he's not even cute!" <<< apply whichever sex here, as I just used one, could easily be "eww she asked me out? But she's not even cute!".. Two very different things.
    How do they know you are looking?

    See, people who are pushy like that, will tend to just target a person, whether they are single or not. Some men are predatory and look for women who are alone, for example, and become pushy, because they think she is vulnerable. It is a form of controlling behaviour and not really about them punching above their weight looks wise, for example.

    He probably said it to try and draw your sympathy to get you to speak to him. It's not a very effective way of getting a woman to be interested, but there are some women who are maternal and would respond because they think he is lonely. I see it more as an act of desperation more than anything.
    Not everyone who is desperate or lonely and craving companionship or a romantic relationship is a pervert, sociopath or users, birch.
    This is kind of a different subject. Some people take rejection and others do not. It is how they react to said rejection that can be a concern if they get pushy or start harassing the person they are asking out. Not all are like that.
    That's a bit harsh, don't you think?

    The attitudes you are complaining about stem more from their upbringing than anything else. Your own upbringing appears to have you approaching the prospect of dating or accepting a date, for example, based on what they look like, whether they look like they are worthy of your attention based on how they look, for example. Perhaps that is not how you approach it, but it is how you are projecting yourself here.

    If someone is brought up to not respect others, than they will not show respect to the people they ask out and that goes for both sexes. Some people are shallow, some are not. Some people are pushy, some are not. Some people are selfish, some are not. Some people believe the person of the opposite sex is bad, some do not... Etc..
  22. birch Valued Senior Member

    um no, it is not the same. if someone turns me down, i don't assume that they owe me just because i think they are not more attractive. relationships are mutual, not based on the fact another is an object that you are entitled to which some people see others as. for someone who is less attractive than you to criticize you for not being a 'top model' is a disingenuous shot and the only reason they were interested in you was looks anyways. otherwise, they wouldn't have made such a shallow comment. the disingenuous part is that there are tons of people who are attractive who are not top model physical types and they know that. It's the same stupid ploys a 60 year old male might say to a 35 year old woman that she should be interested simply because she isn't 23 anymore, when she looks like she is 25 and he looks 70. it's just a way to rank people lower by technicalities or stretched criteria, and try to marginalize in your favor. yeah, looks do matter as it is one of the first reasons people are attracted or talk to you for romantic reasons. there is this blind entitlement given to men that they are not shallow for hitting on women more physically attractive than them. as if people are supposed to turn a blind eye to the obvious they are trying to move a step-up in that department. hmm, but they are not shallow. i see. right. why not equal or below? maybe they have a good heart, values, share similar interests, tastes etc, right? where is the depth? LMFAO.

    i don't hit on people who are more attractive than me because i'm not that obnoxious or rude. it is kind of rude, besides a unfair mentality actually to think someone who is more attractive should be attracted to you just because you want them, nevermind whether you deserve them or whether they would benefit. that's not shallow, that's called honesty. it is rude and the same as one who has never graduated high school or barely expecting a college graduate to accept them or be interested or someone who has a bachelers in basketweaving to assume a phd in astrophysics is an equal. why should they? just because it is no loss for you, someone else is supposed to lower their standards or be bored to death, just because it could work one-way?

    if you get turned down, why don't you move on? why the heck shouldn't someone be offended that they are trashing the person rejecting them as if they need to justify it? i already told you the same person rejected another woman and she didn't go on a rant of why she deserves him because that would be BIZARRELY NARCISSTIC AND FRIGGING WEIRD. but evidently there are men who think they have a right to affections of total strangers.

    the point is that is hypocritical. why the hell should the other person lower their standards anyways? unless you expect others to lower standards to accept you, then you shouldn't expect others to either. but people are going to do what they do.
    Last edited: Jun 22, 2017
  23. Michael 345 Next for NT Anzac Day 2018 Valued Senior Member

    Being pugugly I never get offended when rejected

    I pray girls lower their standards to below mine

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