I'm Going to be a Dad!

Kotoko

I think it might be an even finer idea if you (and others questioning the patronage of the baby) could just mind your own business.

You are correct in that no person should ever be deceived in regards to their children's parentage. While YOU might think he should know the truth in regards to whether the child carries his DNA or not, YOU do not know their sexual history. If TS is happy with the thought that this baby is his and has no doubt about it, what concern is it of yours or anybody elses? Who are YOU to tell him that it's not his child? Were you in bed with them each time they had sex with a little chart? Do you know this girl's ovulation cycle? Were you in there when she supposedly bedded another male? I'm guessing the answer to those questions is no. Therefore, maybe you should just step back and stop making yourself sound like a vindictive bitch. If TS has any doubts about the parentage of this child, I'm sure he's well capable of demanding a DNA test to rectify this situation when the time and need arises.

As to the size of the child... you are correct again, if the embryo itself is pea-size it is more than 12 weeks gestation wise. But if the amniotic sac itself is pea size, that could indicate that it's less than 12 weeks. I remember going for my 6 week ultrasound the day I found out I was pregnant and being told that "it" as in the amniotic sac was around the size of a pea. At that point in time there was no sign of the child within the sac as it was too small to be picked up and while some scans do show the cells within the sac at 6 weeks, not all do and as most women know, that 5-7 day accuracy can mean the world of difference during the early stage in regards to actually being able to see it in the scan. Because within 1 week of that scan, we could see a definite smudge within the sac.

Heh! And being 30 weeks pregnant, I can still hear the midwife at the clinic I go to tell me that according to her calculations, my due date was way off and that I was in fact due one month later. This was of course stated with complete disregard to all the ultrasound results, doctors and obstetrician calculations. She even went so far as to accuse me of not knowing how to count in regards to my cycle and telling me that I was not feeling my baby kick because again by her calculations, I was in fact one month behind in my pregnancy. Apparently I was delusional and imagining the kicking. She even told me that the complications I was going through were not real and that I should not be feeling or getting as sick as I was when I was. Again this was in complete contrast to all the tests, the MRI, scans, and specialist consultations I had in fact suffered through as a result of these complications which showed that not only did the complications exist, but that they were in fact worse than originally thought. But as far as she was concerned, those complications just should not exist. She has since been dismissed due to her telling couples that they did not fall pregnant when they did... resulting in quite a few instances where the father was accusing the mother of sleeping around behind his back. Again, while babies do not grow at a faster rate when compared to others, it is not for YOU to tell any individual that they are not the father of the child... especially when you have no idea of their sexual history or of the girl's ovulation cycle.

True. But again, why are you taking it upon yourself to tell them they can't afford it? Many people can't afford to have children yet still manage all the same and the result is a child that respects money and what it means to not have everything they might wish for and having to work for one's desire's in life.

He has stated that they wanted to have a child, so what makes you think that he is not ready to have or raise a child? Hell I am not ready to raise a child and I'm much older than TS. I don't know of any individual who is actually ready to raise a child when they first discover that they are going to have one, even after much planning and consideration. I know I sure as hell wasn't. While they may be young, they will learn like all others of all ages in their situation.

I will admit I've rarely seen eye to eye with TS, but if he's happy to be a parent, why are you telling him that he should not be and that it's not his child? From where I'm sitting, that just makes you seem a bit sad and frankly I must question what the hell kind of advice you're giving to the patients who come through the clinic where you happen to work.

TruthSeeker

My comment was not made in regards to exercise TS.

And by the time you get to 30 weeks, few women can "walk". It's more a waddle which does get worse as time goes on, especially when she starts to get extra boosts of relaxin which can make walking very painful.

No. Different babies do not grow at different rates. They may appear smaller during the first trimester because the calculation as to her due date might be a bit off. But if you compare different women who have fallen pregnant and their blastocysts have implanted into the uterus at exactly the same time, the size and development of the embryo will be exactly the same unless there is a problem with the embryo itself.

As to the size of the child affecting morning sickness. Again no. Morning sickness occurs because of the woman's intolerance to the amounts of hormones flooding her body during the pregnancy. Some women have more tolerance than others.

 

Nasty...

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TS.. DO NOT.. I repeat.. DO NOT.. divulge your sexual activities in forums. The result of your having done so has now given people the incentive to look up their calendars and work out your girlfriend's cycle.. Does she know you have given intimate details of your sex lives on a public forum? Another reason not to is because some of us don't wish to hear about it.

That's the thing, I can't understand why some would care so much about whether he is the father or not.

And if you want to torment him, just tell him what the next 2 trimesters are going to bring (pure hell)... not to mention once the baby arrives. Believe me, he won't be so cocky then. He's under the delusion that because he's read all about pregnancy, he knows everything that can and can't happen. HAH I say!

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Yes I have seen it. And I don't particularly care whether he establishes parentage or not. I'm more concerned with the fact that he's going to have access to a virgin brain and have the power to mould it into an image of his own through his teachings and philosophy (or lack thereof)... as I stated before.. be afraid.. be very afraid..

Ah but it would be his mother who would have to decide to abort him. For us to have a say, that would mean that we'd have to lobby the politicians to legalise the use of hitmen.

Heh... true.. I must admit.. I loved being 30. You've reached that hill and you've supposedly left all the bad choices and decisions behind. Then you reach 31 and realise that it's all downhill from there and you find yourself on the fast train to middle age. Especially when the teenagers working at the checkout in the stores start calling you "Ma'am" and "Sir".. shudders...

 

And yet from what I've read in this forum, he claims that he is able to afford to have this child and as for his not having completed his education... what does that have to do with raising a child? I was not aware that one needed a university degree to raise a child.

As for his having divulged the information in regards to his relationship, as disturbing as that in itself is.. what I find more disturbing is that you sat there and calculated exactly when the mother to be would have fallen pregnant. While you may be a nurse, do you actually have so little to do in life that you spend your time in forums doing the calculations for other women's cycles based on what their partners have said? And you were not questioning. You were stating as fact that the child is not his.

I'm an expert?... Have I actually made that claim? I've scanned through the posts in this forum and find such a claim on my behalf lacking. I was merely pointing out that whether this child is his or not is actually none of your business, nor is it any one else's. If he's happy to say that it is, what does your being a nurse have to do with blissfully telling him that it's not his? I mean why do you even care? Do you have a stake in his relationship?

What would you have him do? Confront the girl and demand a DNA test because of what some stranger said to him on a forum? Should he demand that she have an abortion because you have said that by your calculations, this child is not his? Oh wait, that's right, you are glad that they aren't having an abortion. So what would you have him do? Leave her until the DNA results come back? Or maybe he should just leave her until he gets a better education and raise some more cash so that he can meet your specifications of when he can afford to have a child. Again abortion is out because you've already told him that you're glad that they aren't having one. So what should he do? And you accuse me of being self-righteous?

I will readily admit, my pregnancy hormones have made me a bitch. So what's your excuse?

 

Hmmm indeed. The fact that you actually sat there for 5 minutes figuring "it" out is sad. As for my taking 30 minutes to point out to you that it's none of your business? I'm a fast typer and believe me it took me only a couple of minutes.

So I'm being self-righteous and condescending?.... Lets see now... Was I the one sitting there working out the ovulation cycle of a woman I've never seen nor met all because her silly young partner was stupid enough to say when they had sex on an internet forum? No. Was I then the one to actually come out and say to this young idiot that not only is he too young to have a child but he is stupid for doing so now because he has not completed his education? Nope. Did I even go so far as to tell him that he is not the father when I have no idea whether that is the case or not and that she's pulling a fast one on him? No. It was you who did that my dear, not me. And you call me self-righterious and condescending?

Have I jumped to conclusions and made wildly ignorant accusations without knowing the facts? Again, I was not the one sitting there telling some poor kid on the internet that he was not the father of a child because you've been counting. If THAT is not a huge jump to conclusions and a frankly stupidly ignorant accusaion, I don't know what is. Again, you do not know the exact time and date that they had sex. He may have mentioned a few times but not all. As a nurse in the field, you should know better than to make such claims when you've never spoken to the girl, let alone seen the scan results for yourself, nor have you seen her medical records as such.

Would you like me to give you the measurements so that you can then sit there for 5 minutes figuring it out? After all, you seem to like that kind of thing.

Who said I was insinuating?

First you were questioning it and now you say that he should ask questions... Hmmm.. Look Kotoko, he seems quite happy to say the child is his. He seems to have calculated it for himself and he's happy to claim the child as his own. You didn't tell him to ask questions. You blankly came out and told him that the child was not his and could not be his and he was an idiot for thinking it that it was. You then told him that he could not afford to have the child and that he should not be having a child now and he should be looking at his education instead... even after he has claimed that the pregnancy was planned. That's not suggesting to someone that they ask questions. He told you that he knows the child is his and your reply is that it's not. Why are you raining down on his parade. If the child is his, would you prefer that he continue to look at it with suspicion and at her with distrust and possibly hate? If he was silly enough to listen to you, a complete stranger on an internet forum, and he confronted the girl and she dumps him for not trusting her and it is his child... What would you say to him then? Oopsy?

Yes he was a fool to come out and give details of his sex life. But you did not merely respond. You sat there and tried to work out whether he was the father based on his little rantings, pantings and gloating. Even when he told you that he wants this child and he knows it's his, you keep saying no he should not want this child because he's too young, does not have enough money, it's not his because it can't be his, etc. Is it that hard for you to say if you're happy then congratulations and good luck to you? As a nurse in the field, are you that lacking in consideration? Instead of offering him some advice of what to expect during the pregnancy you come out and keep chortling that the child is not his. There's nothing to be gained in that. He's happy to think that it is, then let him. This is a stressful time for any couple or individual going through this. Teasing and making fun is one thing, but there's a line that signifies the end of making fun of someone and just being downright cruel. Sure he may be an idiot and a young fool for whatever reason, but being someone who I'm guessing is a lot older and more experienced, you should know better.

But that's exactly my point. You don't know him and I'm guessing you don't know the girl. You only have what he's claimed in these two posts and you use that to form the basis that the child is not his? You have had no qualms in drawing such conclusions from reading two posts and making such allegations and accusations to him about his becoming a parent, yet you complain when I point out to you that you should not be saying such things based on reading those two posts because you should know better. And I'm a bitch to everyone. Ask anyone in this forum.

I'm married? Have I said anywhere that I'm married?

Nice. You're a real charmer aren't you? Tell me, do they teach you to be that crass in nursing school? Or was that a special elective? But then again, it's possible that you are just that way. But to answer your question, I've always been a bitch. The pregnancy hormones have just made me a tad more so. I don't think I've gone so far as to being a "raging c*nt" (I do hate that word... it's just so common and low). I guess you could say that I might be working my way up to being one.. I wouldn't know. You tell me when I'm getting close though. After all, you seem to know so much about being one already...

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