Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! OKOK, I am no casa nova! I don't have washboard abs...but why can I not have someone in my life to love and have love returned? I mean I am a very nice guy and rather attractive...besides the points listed above. I respect women the way they should be, I don't say dirogitory things about them, but nor do I chase after them in a poor hopeless plea for love...Should I? I mean I have tried...I have had companions but no one will stay...or for long. They always seem to be leaving me for my friends or leaving me for reason I am yet to find out. I do what I think I should, buy gifts, treat nice, and talk...I know this isn't a dating center but someone, anyone give me some HELP? I would feel more "whole" with a loyal compaion...am I right? or am I just an idiot? Your Idiot Savant...Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
I will not offer love life advice I have the estimation that it would be poor. I will make an observation. If your "friends" are taking your girl friends then they are not your friends. They are people you can do without. Surround yourself with others not of this mentality. Somewhere I heard the old cliche that "nice guys finish last". I always wondered what there was in the bad guy/law breakers that attracted women. But it does.
True Well I have tried that approach aswell and truly I am not as nice as I come off as...I am not saying I am the devil...but hell!I dunno...or am I just an idiotPlease Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
Science are a bad place to find love life help. We havent cracked the human genome enough to tell what makes chicks dig dudes, so in the mean time your just gonna have to (and take this advice if you want or not but dont complain if it fails) Take some interest in her things, do stuff they want and just be romantic i guess. Oh crap go ask a woman. This is the blind leading the blind Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
Hey, Idiot Savant ... Got just the site for you: http://www.dating-women.com/ I have a few friends who swear by it (along with Viagra)
I feel that it's less to do with the DNA of the lovely ladies, but very much to do with animal behaviour. Yes, some women are attracted to the law breakers and the rouges. Don Giovanni wasn't exactly a nice guy (if my memory serves me right) but the girls loved him. I imagine these characters are what females perceive as Alpha Males. Something that in the wild that would have been very attractive because the alpha male would have been able to provide more. Just see one of those natural history programmes. Sexual attraction is very primative. The thing I find that works best is confidence. This is something the alpha male would ooze. Where's Babelina when we need some female input?
LOL! Oh, this is hilarious! You are so lost! Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! Just be yourself and do what feels right. Don´t pretend to be some macho stereotype. The women that falls for that are ususally very superficial and maybe that is why they leave you for your "friends". And not to mention the effort you must put in keeping up the appearance of always being that macho. Honesty and good self esteem are always good qualities to work on, not only from a romatic point of view. And just love! Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
Okay .. this was supposed to be shorter, but there you go IdiotSavant-- 1) Honestly? At least act disinterested. The women most ... likely to respond to my charms respond as such because the charms aren't directed at them. As long as you're slathering platitudes and witticisms unto them, a certain part of every person's need for security and attention is fulfilled. Consider having drinks at a bar with several of your friends. If you continue to balance your conversation 'twixt all of your associates, the charm will become apparent, and perhaps desired. If you're just giving it away to one person, what need has that person to make any effort? As shallow as it sounds, I've discovered that women will, in some cases, pursue a viable charm merely because they aren't the focus of it. Let me disclaim, though, that in relation to my own personality, these are generally not women on my "committed" list. I'm all up for a good lay, mind you, but I just can't figure out the nature of the one-night stand. Apparently you have to lie about your name, or something, because it truly does become an emotional mess for at least one party, and usually both. I've rejected the notion of the one-nighter because I've never successfully pulled it off. The best I've managed is a 1-week affair; the worst a five-year relationship in which we both continually made each other miserable. So what will happen is that a woman will approach in an attempt to get to know the person behind that flashing charm; if you both happen to be genuine people at that moment, the potential is limitless. Let me make yet another disclaimer: I have never "successfully" accomplished what I have just described (botched one-nighters, yeah, those were real). But the whole point is that two people who put up fronts to impress each other are invariably disappointed in each other. Be yourself, as the cliche goes, but for heaven's sake, don't aim it at the object of your desire exclusively. 2) I second Wet's notion that you might wish to reevaluate the terms of your friendships. A few notes. * J took S's girlfriend. This set a precedent among my friends that this is acceptable. * S took one of my girlfriends; it takes two to tango, and it really does suck to wake up to find your girlfriend shagging one of your closest friends on the floor ten feet away. C'est la vie. * I reconciled with S shortly thereafter because the woman dumped him for yet another of our friends. * By that time, J had paid the emotional price for taking S's girlfriend; the woman was psychotic. * I have taken a friend's wife before ... bad, bad idea. I paid for this with five years of mutal misery aforementioned. We treated each other as poorly as we treated her husband (G). The strange thing is that before G faded off into obscurity, he didn't seem to mind; it's not like nobody knew what was going on. S and J were back on good terms almost immediately because S saw J paying for his betrayal by having to handle a psychotic woman. S and I eventually reconciled when the woman left him for our other friend T, who would eventually ruin his life knocking her up and undertaking a devastating meth addiction to numb the misery. Last I saw that woman, she had left T with the kids for some other guy. However, J and T have a place together with another friend of ours, whose girlfriend ... well, that particular orgy was brought to me courtesy of G's wife. In the end, none of the women are around anymore, and we still get along. On the one hand, yes, re-evaluate your friendships. To the other, whenever we come across each other, there are no hard feelings, and it's largely a matter of geography and schedules that keeps us from more frequent carousing together. The moral of the story is that it's not worth losing your friends over a woman. Yet another disclaimer: I despise marriage. Not that I haven't learned my lesson about tampering with it (some of my friends think it's about to become an issue again, but it's difficult to explain that situation, since what I crave about this woman has nothing to do with sex). But the fact remains that the women have moved on with their lives, and we're still all civil to each other at least. Are your friends really your friends? An equal consideration is whether or not the woman was "worth it". (I cite the five years of mutual misery to define the term worth it; no, it was not worth the orgasms, and there was little spiritual bond for that period whatsoever.) Personally, my friends and I still seem to love each other as much as before the whole mess, so there's that (Can't speak for G; haven't heard from him, but we remained civil and more in each others' presence, and it has been related to me that he eventually expressed that he felt better now that someone had taken his wife off his hands.) If there's anything this soap opera can teach, it's point 3. 3) You may be "trying too hard" in general. One should not look for a life mate; one should definitely troll for a good lay, but that's not a life commitment, is it? Do you require another person in your life to make your own self complete? Sure, you might feel more whole; that's the current issue that my immediate circle may be misinterpreting. A married woman can create the sensation of wholeness in me without sex, and without refocusing herself onto me; of course, this isn't a sustained sensation, and the state of mind it produces is more addictive than any drug I've ever used. So the question I ask is What am I lacking that she gives me? (In my case, those close to me point to mother-issues, which is kind of a scary thing to bring up in this conversation, but there you go.) Your life mate may be out there or not; I figure, for myself, that person will eventually show up or not. I haven't all the answers to reality, so I'm left wondering whether or not anyone can fill that role, and also whether or not that role is really necessary. But as dumb as it sounds, be yourself; you cannot win your life mate with deception. In fact, that's a bad way of putting it: your life mate cannot be won. Human beings are not prizes, but I'm leaving this paragraph as it is to demonstrate the point. (Or something like that.) 4) Why do I despise marriage? So two people who put up their impressive fronts come together, are bedazzled, and get married. Suddenly, with nothing left to win, they become "their own selves". If I'm critical of wives it's because the society I live in raises women to be wives and mothers, and that creates an odd state: the most brilliant and giving men I know can be crushed by marriage because they are constantly trying to keep the wife happy. It should be said that this works both ways, but again, it seems that my society breeds women to be wives and mothers: the primary benefit of my last five-year relationship, it seems, is that, aside from regular sexual intercourse (note I did not say sexual "satisfaction"), she was so scared of "losing" me that, well ... yeah, she did once say she would cook and clean and be my wife if I would only blah blah blah and she never figured out that, as nice as the meal and room service is, that's not what I want in a wife or girlfriend; if I am that well served, I would hope to be paying someone cash to cook and clean for me while my life mate and I do things more important to our happiness. So don't compromise; don't try to impress a woman who isn't your ideal simply because it's getting frustrating. It will be more frustrating later if you do. I wish it was as simple as smoke a bowl, grin broadly, and be yourself, but, as you can tell, that hasn't worked well for me. If you can make heads and tails of any of this, congratulations; I can't. But I figured it worth vomiting into a post because it might, somehow, become useful to someone else. If you're pursuing it, that also implies that it is eluding you. thanx, and good luck, Tiassa Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
Wow ... What a freakin' mess that last post is ... Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! thanx, Tiassa Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
Once again, got to disagree ... Tiassa, No way was that post a mess ... at least not in my book. I guess I'm just too 'old school' to open up like that, but I could identify with a lot of what you had to say. And I imagine quite a few guys do too ... if they're able to be honest with themselves. Thankx Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! Chagur
Maybe you are to anger to want a woman. It mostly happens when you least expect it......So is love, if you are looking for it, you won't find it.....not looking for it, suddenly it comes your way. But if you only want a woman for sex, you better go to the neighbourhood where you can buy 'love'.......And don 't do so pathetic, like you can't get a woman....come on, is this a man speaking or a little birdie.......
IS, Flattery and a bottle of pink gin will take you far. But you are looking for love. It is my belief that it will, someday, find you.
don't give up. as a girl who likes nice guys, take it from me - there /is/ hope. don't worry, you'll find love - it'll come to you. lightning will strike. *g*
There's a girl for every guy, and vice versa. Don't worry about it. I think that when u just start a normal date, you know just asking a girl out that you see on the street or something (I wouldn't know, I'm only fourteen but I get this idea from my experience from some of the people I've met over the course of my life), that if she really is perfect for you that it will work out and evolve into a loving relationship. You can't ask a girl out because you're in love with her(I learned that the hard way, she's my friend and always been my friend and I'm trying to get her to sign up on sciforums as I speak) because, it just won't work out, you have to be on the same level in terms of how you think of the other person with your girlfriend or boyfriend. I dunno, I'm no expert that's just what I think for now.
Go Tiassa!!! Tiassa, I think you've just jumped into my brain! You wrote, "Your life mate may be out there or not; I figure, for myself, that person will eventually show up or not. I haven't all the answers to reality, so I'm left wondering whether or not anyone can fill that role, and also whether or not that role is really necessary." I couldn't have said it better myself. Listen to Tiassa, Idiot Savant, when you hear words of wisdom you know it, and Tiassa has just spelled it out for you. Me? I couldn't care less about sex. I think it's all about companionship but mostly I would want someone who could make me laugh. I'd marry Billy Connolly in a heartbeat and I'm not the marrying kind anymore. There is a saying that if you stop looking for love, it will find you. Oh, and make sure you don't have bad breath or body odour. Sorry, had to throw that in. :Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! No offence to anyone.
Most of the times I saw it happen to friends, who were not looking for love at that moment and at that moment they ran in to a man which some even married.Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! But I agree, it doesn't have to happen always. And maybe if you really choose to live your life alone, you won't find it anymore because perhaps, you don't sent signals anymore. You know what I mean? I guess that people sent signals, but you are not aware of it, just like an aura, you have it, but don't see it or know it. Maybe if you really, really want to live alone, you sent other signals. But I don't know this for sure, I was thinking about this subject and thought it could be something like this...... Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! I don't know, I am only guessing. And people who do want to find love, often find it, when they are not looking for it...... That I have seen happening, but blind dates do work too sometimes. But I am not the type for blind dating. But maybe another person is. It is all your own choice......Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! Do whatever your heart tells you to do....
It should also be said that love often comes to light much later within a common relationship. Sometimes love will chase you down, hold you, and make you see it. Hmm...love.
Love...... Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! There you are right. Love can come in many way's. Real love.....a one night stand is not so hard to get I guessPlease Register or Log in to view the hidden image! I go for love, maybe it's the best and the worst 'thing' you get here on earth, REAL love I mean. But this is only what I think, so maybe someone else has a complete other opinionPlease Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
