It has been a bit of a strange day today... First of all I found a hat full of money in the high street, then I was chased by an angry man with a guitar!
There's a new form of malware going around. Beware! If you get an e-mail titled "Nude pictures of Nancy Pelosi" DO NOT OPEN IT! It contains nude pictures of Nancy Pelosi
She certainly looks better in those without Trump Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
Then they were arrested for the cross on the road under separation of state and religion (the road being state - no cross allowed) Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
I went past the house I was raised in today. I knocked on the door and asked if I could come in and look around. They said, "no" and slammed the door in my face. My parents can be so rude.
Jewish Bakery delivery boy rings doorbell to the fourth floor apartment of the supercentenarian family Rosenbaum. The door is unlatched and a small voice from above; "Who's there"? The bakery delivery boy steps in the door and announces; "Matzes for Rosenbaum". Again from above : "Who's there"? The delivery boy (raising his voice): "Matzes for Rosenbaum"! For a third time from above: "Who's there"? Delivery boy (shouting at the top of his lungs); THE MATZES FOR ROSENBAUMMMMM!!!!!" From above: "Are you looking for jewish people"?
I suspect it's a homonym-esque pun on "Matzes for Rosenbaum" but, not being schooled in common Jewish phrases, I don't know the reference.
On the same street where the Rosenbaums lived: The horse-drawn ice wagon was rolling down the street slowly with the iceman calling out, "Ice. Ice." A lady called down from the second floor, "Bring me up ten pounds of ice." So the horse unhitched himself from the wagon, went around to the back, cut off ten pounds of ice, carried it up to the second floor and took the money. Then he came back down, hitched himself to the wagon again and continued down the street with the iceman calling out, "Ice. Ice." A lady called down from the third floor, "Bring me up ten pounds of ice." So the horse unhitched himself from the wagon, went around to the back, cut off ten pounds of ice, carried it up to the third floor and took the money. Then he came back down, hitched himself to the wagon again and continued down the street with the iceman calling out, "Ice. Ice." A lady called down from the fourth floor, "Bring me up ten pounds of ice." So the horse unhitched himself from the wagon, went around to the back, cut off ten pounds of ice, carried it up to the fourth floor and took the money. Then he came back down, hitched himself to the wagon again and continued down the street with the iceman calling out, "Ice. Ice." The wagon was passing by a saloon, so the iceman stopped and went inside for a beer. The horse stood there muttering to himself, "I have to pull the wagon, I have to unhitch myself, I have to cut off the ice, I have to carry it up the stairs, I have to take the money, I have to come back down again and hitch myself up again... and now he sits in a nice cool saloon sipping a nice cold beer while I stand outside in the hot sun...." A passer-by stopped, dumb-founded. "Excuse me? Am I crazy or can you talk?" "Yes, I can talk," the horse grumbled. "So what?" "Well, does the iceman know you can talk?" "Of course he doesn't know I can talk. If he knew I could talk, he'd make me say, 'Ice. Ice.'"
Is it something to do with Matzes sounding like Nazis? My speaking dictionary is pronouncing Matzes as sounding like nazis. So, if that's right, you get someone in the 'joke' calling down and thinking ''is this Nazis looking for jewish people?''
In the morning, I made a Belgian waffle. In the afternoon, I'm going to teach a Frenchman how to talk complete bollox.
