Love-A terrible yet powerful feeling marked initially by nervousness under the excitement and wonder of finding someone who understands you. The feeling starts and stops the heart; ends only when the nervousness begins to fade from misunderstandings. If only there were a way to keep the nervousness flowing fluidly through my heart!!! Still beating as it fades we choose to replace such a feeling with anger as we self righteously fight some trite battle)= Those who believe all is fair in love and war have never loved or been to see battle.
It's easy for the heart to grow hard when you are rebuffed, especially after you open yourself completly to someone you love. I have had that experience many times in my life and it's easy to blame everyone else when the blame belongs on you. One of the sayings I use is "If you keep hitting a brick wall then eventually after time the problem is not the wall but you". Someone once gave me the wisdom "get what you can from a relationship" and I somewhat disagree with that. I hold out hope for perfect love. And while yes, I have perfect love for my children, it's hard to find that level of comfort from an equal. I am with someone now (have been for five years) and we have a very good mutual relationship with each other. We have the same goals and hold the same hopes from this world. We are partners in this race. But I feel like the advice God gave to St. Bernadette- my ultimate reward is not in this life but in the next- the best is yet to come.
Perfect love is when a 13 year old boy, terrified of the water and unable to swim, holding on for dear life in raging flood waters tells his rescuer to save his younger brother first, only to then die moments later as he succumbs to the water, along with his mother who let go to try to save him.
I still agree with Tennyson: 'Tis better to have loved and lost/Than never to have loved at all. It doesn't matter so much whose fault the breakup was. In most cases there's enough blame for both to share--and even for some external parties like parents, other "elders" and gossipy friends. Many times it's just fate. A relationship that seems perfect at the beginning can seem much less so the more the two people get to know each other, letting their guard down and showing the parts of themselves that don't get much exposure during a courtship. The wisest advice I've heard on this subject was: Don't commit yourself to a relationship in which you've only been together for fun and entertainment. You need to see who the other person turns into when they go grocery shopping, do their laundry, get ready for work, pick up their car from the service shop, have a difficult deadline to meet, run low on cash, etc. Nonetheless, falling in love is a wonderful experience. It releases all kinds of endorphins and makes you feel like your troubles are inconsequential and life is obviously worth living. Of course immediately after a breakup it will feel like the current heartache you're living through outweighs the love that preceded it, but in time your memories of the two connected events will drop back into proper focus. If you're in the habit of starting relationships that last only two weeks and end with a lot of broken dishes, well of course then you've got a problem. Some people let fate drag them around by the short hairs, and they end up with a mutual attraction to someone who reminds them of their own dysfunctional parent or something like that. Look for commonalities among relationships that have failed disastrously. Avoid those people the next time, even if it means passing up someone you feel chemistry with at first sight--after all not all chemistry is good chemistry! Make it a goal to seek out people who break your mold, even if there's no chemistry at first. You might open up a whole new chapter in your life. My wife and I met through a mutual friend when we were both in relationships. We started hanging out together as friends because we had a lot of things in common that our partners did not share. Eventually the time came when we both happened to be unattached and, unexpectedly, love blossomed. That happened in 1977. That's what I call good chemistry.
I'd rather have a good friend than a good lover. Friends are the hardest to find but lovers come and go in life, I've been through at least 4 so far, lovers that is.
Love is like alcohol... it's the cause and solution to all life's problems. Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
